Latest news with #toxicmasculinity
BreakingNews.ie
7 hours ago
- Entertainment
- BreakingNews.ie
Sophie Ellis-Bextor says she discusses toxic masculinity with her five sons
Pop singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor has said she has 'a lot of faith' in her five sons and has chatted to them about toxic masculinity. The Murder On The Dancefloor singer, 46, is mother to Mickey, Jesse, Ray, Kit and Sonny, whom she shares with her husband, musician Richard Jones. Advertisement Ellis-Bextor said while she will 'keep an eye on' their mobile phones, she does not demonise things that could 'shut down communication'. Sophie Ellis-Bextor appears in Good Housekeeping UK's August issue (Chris Craymer/Good Housekeeping UK) In recent months the success of hit Netflix show Adolescence has sparked conversations around misogyny among young boys online and the radicalisation of young men, with the creators discussing the topic in Parliament in April. Ellis-Bextor told Good Housekeeping UK: 'I've always had a lot of faith in my boys. We've openly chatted about toxic masculinity for a long time. 'My eldest is very articulate about these things, so none of it was new to my house. Sometimes people have an idea of what boys are like, as if they're a different species. Advertisement 'As I far as I'm concerned, I'm raising five people who happen to be boys. I keep an eye on (mobile phone screen time), because that's parenting, but if you start demonising things, you shut down communication. 'Then you're like those parents in the 1950s who made kids burn their rock 'n' roll albums.' Speaking about her husband, Ellis-Bextor added: 'When we got married, we'd already had our first baby. 'My mum said: 'Make sure you always choose each other over anything else, even the kids.' She was right. Even though the kids might roll their eyes if they see us hugging or whatever, they're happy that we're happy. Advertisement 'We have fun as a family, too. Last year, they came with us for a lot of the tour.' Sophie Ellis-Bextor discusses life with five sons in Good Housekeeping UK (Chris Craymer/Good Housekeeping UK) The singer also discussed her forthcoming album, Perimenopop, a play on the words perimenopause and pop. 'There's still this idea that only young people make pop music,' she said. 'As soon as I had the new album title, I felt like, 'Now I can literally be myself.' Advertisement 'This album is about poking fun at this gloomy chapter and the narrative around it that women should be quietening down and becoming invisible… I don't feel like that at all.' The full interview can be read now in the August issue of Good Housekeeping UK.
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
'We've openly chatted about it': Sophie Ellis-Bextor on how she spoke to her sons about Netflix's Adolescence
When Netflix's Adolescence arrived on our screens in March, it got the whole nation talking – and that includes singer and Kitchen Disco icon Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Starring on Good Housekeeping's August cover, she shared how it was useful to bring into discussion with her sons, as well as how important it is to talk about toxic masculinity. Sophie, who is mum to Sonny, 21, Kit, 16, Ray, 13, Jesse, nine, and Mickey, six, explained: 'Aspects of it were brilliant to bring into the discussion, but I've always had a lot of faith in my boys. We've openly chatted about toxic masculinity for a long time. 'My eldest is very articulate about these things, so none of it was new to my house. Sometimes people have an idea of what boys are like, as if they're a different species,' she added. As far as I'm concerned, I'm raising five people who happen to be boys. She also addressed the issue of mobile phones and screen time, explaining that, in her house, it's a conversation rather than a set of rules about what they can and can't do. 'I keep an eye on it, because that's parenting, but if you start demonising things, you shut down communication,' she says. 'Then you're like those parents in the 1950s who made kids burn their rock 'n' roll albums.' As for housework, she explained that the boys help out around the house and revealed that, with food being a big part of family life, they're quite handy in the kitchen. 'My intention is that they should all leave home being able to cook and dance,' she says. 'The key skills.' Fans may remember that Sophie's boys joined her on her Instagram Live Kitchen Discos during the Covid lockdowns, which became a real family affair. 'The Kitchen Discos were very relaxed for them," Sophie says. 'I'd say, 'Oh, we're doing another one on Friday if you fancy it?' "And some weeks they might say, 'I'm not doing it,' then, with five minutes to go, they'd come downstairs in a crazy outfit." Sometimes they were dressed as superheroes, sometimes as animals, sometimes they were outside on the trampoline, sometimes clinging to her leg. Music, she mused, is just part of life at home. 'We always have music on, and all the stuff was in our kitchen already: disco balls, sequin bunting, smoke machine, laser machine…' Something tells us life in the Ellis-Bextor-Jones family is rather fun. Read the full interview in Good Housekeeping UK's August issue, on sale now. Sophie's album, Perimenopop, is released on 12th September. Visit to win tickets to Sophie's album launch show at London KOKO on 8th September. You Might Also Like The anti-ageing wonder ingredient you're missing in your skincare routine 15 dresses perfect for a summer wedding 6 items our fashion team always take on a beach holiday
Yahoo
7 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
47 Things Extremely Fragile Men Refused To Do Because They Considered Them "Too Girly"
Reddit user freddyfazbart recently asked, "What's the most ridiculous thing you heard a man refuse to do because it was 'too feminine' or 'for girls'?" The god, the responses. Just read them. This woman is too stunned to speak. 1."We were camping with a group of friends, and my friend's small son was thirsty first thing in the morning, but we hadn't done dishes yet, so we only had three pink cups available. My friend wouldn't allow his son to drink water from a pink cup, so he let his son be thirsty instead." —pepcorn 2."I worked with a guy who refused to pee sitting down. I asked him, 'What about when you're taking a dump?' and he said he stands to pee first then sits to shit. He said, 'Chicks sit to pee.' I said, 'Chicks sit to shit too. Why don't you shit standing up?' and he just got angry." —Underwater_Karma 3."I dated a guy who wouldn't use luggage with wheels. He insisted on using an old duffel bag that he threw over his shoulder. 'Real men don't use suitcases with wheels.' I just laughed as I easily pulled my suitcase while he struggled with that duffel bag." —Revolutionary-Bus893 4."I worked in a hospital setting, but in the corporate office. We didn't work with the patients, but we had to be trained on safety procedures and the different hospital codes. My boss, who was a nice guy otherwise, said he would refuse to give CPR to another man in an emergency/life or death scenario, and I thought it was completely ridiculous." —bamboo_beauty 5."He wouldn't let his wife use a pink towel on his sons. My father-in-law." —Jenny-Smith 6."Some dudes think it's girly to eat an ice cream cone. That's fine, I'll have an extra one." —N3onLights7 7."OMG! Where to start? My less-than-average yet highly narcissistic ex-husband had a HUGE list of these hangups. He wouldn't use a straw, he wouldn't use an umbrella, and he wouldn't hold my purse when I went into the restroom. He said that I loved my cats because they were like 'females.' His twisted logic for this? They are called 'felines,' and mine had long hair, so 'it made them look like female cats.' Divorcing him was my best move ever, for many reasons." —Fluffy_Juggernaut_95 8."When I worked night shift stocking shelves at Target, dudes would refuse to work the feminine products aisle. Apparently, touching plastic packages full of unused paper products would contaminate them with the concept of menses. At least I got to learn about all the symbols on the packages so I could buy them for my future wife." —maester_blaster 9."DRINKING WATER. He said he 'doesn't need to drink water' and that 'men just tough it out.' This was on a blazing hot summer day when there was plenty of water to go around." —Ok-Egg-3581 10."Go on another male friend's boat with me. He said, 'Why would I, as a man, go on another man's boat?' WTF?" —Maleficent_Ad3930 11."My boss at a previous job didn't understand why none of his three children would speak to him. Then, after a coworker returned from paternity leave, he proudly proclaimed that he had never changed a diaper in his life because 'it was women's work,' and I'm guessing that's where it started." —Hanzo_The_Ninja 12."Eat vegetables. I have a coworker who doesn't eat vegetables because those are 'for women.' He looks exactly how you think he looks." —seoulmeetsbody 13."Smile in photos." —NiceFarmBud 14."When I was a waitress, a guy said no to a salt rim on a margarita because it was too girly." —LiterateSwine 15."He didn't want to take his girlfriend's cat to the vet because a man holding a cat is feminine. Shit blew my mind. Dude is a cop too, by the way." —Myothercarisawalrus Related: "That Sentence Sat In My Head For Months": Men Are Revealing The Most Hurtful Things A Woman Can Say To Them, And It's Actually Fascinating 16."I once heard someone say that when he gets married and has a kid, he won't hold the kid while walking the streets with his wife, even if his wife wants to do something, because 'that's the mom's job.' I was SPEECHLESS." —Amazing-Parking8929 17."I had an ex tell me guys couldn't sit next to each other in a movie theater. They had to leave an empty seat in between. Dumbest shit I've ever heard." —Motor_Patience5186 18."Cook food for himself. Dude lived with his mom until he got married. When he divorced, he moved back in with his mom until he eventually married my mom. He's never cooked a single dinner in his life. Oh, wait — except on the grill. Can't expect a woman to understand how a grill works, after all. That would be as wild as thinking a man could learn to use the stove." —RunningRunnerRun 19."Dance. He literally said, 'No, I don't dance. Only women and gays dance.'" —untanglingfire 20."Writing poetry in English class. This dude refused the assignment and said poetry was for girls. Some of the greatest poets of all time were men. WTF?" —will_write_for_tacos 21."My ex was super offended when I gave him bath foam and salts for his birthday. He loved taking long baths. He said it would be okay for him to gift them to me for us to use together, but not the other way around." —Mila_muc 22."I used to work at a craft shop. Men would stand outside in the 90+ degree heat, no seats or shade, rather than come into a 'girl store.' Heatstroke is manly, I guess." —cantantantelope 23."I had a conversation with a guy once where he said he has to cut bananas up to eat them because they're too phallic-shaped. I was like, 'You shouldn't have to prove your sexuality this hard. If you were really straight, you wouldn't have to prove it to anyone.' He did not like that." —littlemybb 24."Dishes. Yup, you heard that right." —Bloodstone84 Related: Here Are 50 Pictures That Make Me Grin Uncontrollably No Matter How Many Times I've Seen Them, In Case You Need Them 25."Using creamer in coffee. 'That's female,' he said in the work breakroom. I picked up the creamer, flipped it upside down, and showed it to him. 'Nope, no genitals here! You're safe to drink!' He didn't think it was funny." —pikupr 26."Push a pram with his own baby in it." —PeacefulWild 27."I worked with a dude who refused to play games with women protagonists." —TheLordFool 28."He wouldn't let his son hand out Valentines at preschool." —CaterpillarKey7485 29."My boss and I used to use the same type of Bic mechanical pencil, and we'd each get variety packs. The variety packs had different colored clips on each black pencil. Every time he found a pink, purple, or light blue clipped pencil on his desk (or in his hand!), he would say, 'I think this is yours.' If he saw me using a green, yellow, or red clipped pencil, he would say, 'Is that my pencil?'" —TunedMassDamsel 30."A friend of mine refuses to use a paint roller because it's a 'girl's tool.' A man only uses a paintbrush." —qberserkr 31."My father refused to eat a raspberry cupcake because the berries had turned the icing pink." —Cptbanshee 32."In the hospital, I once saw a guy over 80 who just had serious leg surgery refuse to use a bedpan, and refused to sit on the toilet even though he couldn't stand. Instead, he had his wife come in and hold him up while he took a piss. All because he didn't want to sit down. His aim was about as good as you think it might be in that situation." —Whargod 33."Bartender here. The number of men who refuse to drink out of a martini glass is infuriating. If it's man enough for James Bond, it's man enough for you, Steve." —PhobosTheClown 34."A previous friend of mine was bitching and moaning the whole time he was a passenger in my car because he couldn't accept not being the driver. He said it was emasculating to be driven around, and only girls should be passengers. Yada, yada... I couldn't believe he harbored such thoughts, and thought sharing this with me was fine. I just looked forward and said, 'Okay.'" —PM_ME_A_NUMBER_1TO10 35."Use conditioner in his hair. His really long, dry AF hair." —Due-Definition262 36."Use Chapstick, because it's basically lip gloss. His poor wife. It must be like kissing a Scrub Daddy." —Negative_Put_9881 37."Wipe his ass. 💩" —R3ZNR3ZNR3ZN 38."I work in a call center. One of my colleagues refuses to learn touch typing because it's girly. It's painful watching him type notes into his computer." —Machine_Terrible 39."Eat quiche. Apparently, 'real men don't eat quiche.'" —KE55 40."My cousin wouldn't let his toddler son sit in a pink chair." —Tired-Fussy 41."I know someone who refuses to wear beige and most lighter colors because he thinks they're too feminine." —Crimsonandclov3rr 42."Clean a restroom. Apparently, 'a woman looks better cleaning a restroom.' What does that even mean?" —UndoFuta 43."Back when I worked retail, a male cashier refused to ring up feminine hygiene products. He would make one of the female baggers scan it for him. You would have thought he was being asked to pick up used tampons!" —rose-ramos 44."I was at a party recently with a pile of different colored plates to serve yourself some party food. Three separate men went searching through the pile for 'non-girly' colored plates. One even said he wouldn't use orange because it was too 'girly.'" —Shazooney 45."Asking for a receipt. I hear this a bunch while working retail, and I am just baffled. It's 'too girly' to try to be financially responsible, apparently." —the_storm_shit 46."Wear a hard hat in an active construction zone. It was such a struggle at certain sites (Texas) at my former company." —morematcha "Skincare. I dated someone who worked construction outdoors. A real beer drinking, cigar smoking man's man. His skin was turning into leather, but he refused to moisturize or clean it properly. One day, I forcefully implemented an at-home self-care spa day for him: mud mask, exfoliation, cleanse, sheet mask, serums, cold eye packs, and moisturizer. He had half of Sephora on his face. Afterwards, he was radiant. He said he felt pretty and liked how nice it smelled. They don't know until they know. Once, while shopping at a drug store, I caught him looking at a bottle and saying, 'Oooh, it exfoliates and smells like pineapple, I like that! I'm gonna get this!'" —cawfytawk What's the most ridiculous thing a man's ever refused to do because he deemed it "too feminine"? Tell us in the comments or share anonymously using this form. Also in Internet Finds: Holy Crap, I Can't Stop Laughing At These 28 Painfully Awkward And Embarrassing Conversations Also in Internet Finds: I Need To Call My Doc For A New Inhaler After Cackling So Hard At These 41 Funny Tweets From The Week Also in Internet Finds: People Are Sharing How What Happened In Vegas Did NOT Stay In Vegas, And This Should Be A Lesson To Never Go To A Bachelor/Bachelorette Party There
Yahoo
16-06-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
Opinion - Some free commonsense advice for Democrats about winning back men
You don't need a Ph.D. in sociology to know that there is one group in America you can mock, smear and stereotype with impunity — without facing cancelation, outrage or any serious blowback. That group? Men. For years now, we've been told that men suffer from 'toxic masculinity.' We are accused of 'mansplaining,' assumed to be 'racists,' 'sexists' and God knows what else. At some point, 'man' became a four-letter word. I bring this up because Democrats are now planning to spend $20 million trying to win back male voters they lost in 2024. The initiative is called 'SAM' — short for 'Speaking with American Men: A Strategic Plan.' Here's a free tip for the strategists: If you want to win back men, maybe start by telling your cultural allies to stop calling them bigots. Case in point: On 'The View,' host Joy Behar suggested that instead of spending $20 million to win back male voters, Democrats should use the money to teach 'men not to be such sexists.' Imagine if a man had said something like that about women? You can't even tell a lame joke about women drivers anymore without risking cancelation. But label men 'sexists' on national television? That's comedy gold. Then there's the DNC's own website, with its long list of 'Who We Serve.' It includes: African Americans, Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders, Latinos, gay, lesbian and transgender folks, seniors, veterans, union members and women. You get the picture, right? There's a group for everyone — except, curiously, men. Let's get this straight: Democrats want to win back men, but won't even acknowledge them on a list of who they serve? Brilliant strategy. Do men hold power in this country? Sure, some do. But what kind of power does a white, working-class coal miner in West Virginia have — just because he's a man? Or the blue-collar guy living paycheck to paycheck. How is he powerful? Memo to the cultural elite: Not all men are running Fortune 500 companies. A lot of them are just trying to keep the lights on. If Democrats truly want men back in the fold, they might want to stop treating them like a nasty virus nobody wants to get close to. Because right now, it sure doesn't look like men are welcome. Aaron Solis, writing on Medium, nailed it. 'Society — and feminists in particular — have decided it's perfectly acceptable to generalize men, but not women,' he wrote. 'If the roles were reversed, and men created equally negative, subjective terms to generalize women, the backlash would be overwhelming.' That's the kind of insight Democrats could have gotten for free — no need to spend $20 million. Post-elect surveys show that more than half of male voters under 30 backed Trump over Harris. That includes about 60 percent of white male voters, roughly one-third of Black male voters and about half of young Latino men. That's not a fluke. That's a warning sign. Yes, there are many reasons voters switch parties. It's never just one thing. But the way Democratic elites talk about men — the sneering, the stereotyping — definitely plays a role. And until they face up to that, no slick $20 million campaign is going to change the outcome. And if that sounds like 'mansplaining' — too bad! Bernard Goldberg is an Emmy and an Alfred I. duPont-Columbia University award-winning writer and journalist. He is the author of five books and publishes exclusive weekly columns, audio commentaries and Q&As on his Substack page. Follow him @BernardGoldberg. Copyright 2025 Nexstar Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
CNN
15-06-2025
- Health
- CNN
How to be a dad to sons today, according to experts
FacebookTweetLink Follow Ideals of manhood for many people have changed. In previous generations, being a man meant you provided for your family financially, remained stoic and independent, and rejected parts of yourself with feelings and needs, said Dr. Daniel Singley, a licensed psychologist and founder of the Center for Men's Excellence in San Diego. However, many of today's men who become dads are looking at that model and deciding it doesn't work for them, Singley said. The male loneliness epidemic, a crisis of connection, toxic masculinity –– there are many terms for what men are experiencing in the United States, but it is clear that some are struggling when it comes to mental health. Addressing these mental health concerns and teaching the next generation of boys to become happy, healthy men will take a group effort, said Dr. John Delony, who hosts a mental health podcast and who has a doctorate in counselor education and supervision. 'It's going to take a group of guys like me and older to identify guys and give them resources and say, 'It's OK to feel lost, it's OK to weep, it's OK to go ask for help — in fact you have to,' he said. 'You have to learn that the rules of the game have changed … and that's not a bad thing. But you've got to get some new skills.' Dads have an important part to play in the development of the next generation of boys, said Judy Yi-Chung Chu, who teaches a class on boys' psychological development at Stanford University. When studying children at school, Chu noticed that young males quickly absorbed a message that they shouldn't be mama's boys, and so they stopped showing affection to their mothers at the school drop-off, she said. But then there were the dads. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, dads would be more likely to have their sons in their lap, playing and cuddling, she said. Some of the other boys would even go up to their friends' dads to climb all over them, Chu said. 'There was just this opportunity with a father-son dynamic to really nurture,' she said. 'If the boys are starting to learn that they're not supposed to be girls and they're not supposed to be too much like their mothers, or too close to their mothers, then the father really can step in.' Engaging in this kind of play and affection shows boys that warmth, kindness and love aren't just feminine qualities –– dads do it, too, Chu said. A lot of the power for dads comes in the form of modeling. As much as dads can teach their sons directly and guide them in the world, they also provide an example of who their children can aim to be as they grow up, Singley said. 'There are going to be the times when as the dad I'm going to screw up,' he said. 'Then I'm able to go to my son and model for him, taking ownership of that — a direct apology, where I name my behavior and I talk about, 'Hey, I probably looked angry to you. I just want you to know I was also feeling kind of hurt or confused or anxious.'' When many people think of a real man, they see some cartoonish figure of masculinity such as Rambo or Superman, Chu said. Instead, she suggests offering boys examples of good men to look up to. 'When you think of a good man, usually that brings it closer,' she said. A good man is usually 'my uncle, my teacher, my coach –– somebody I really admire, and I can relate to.' If you want to raise your boys to be happy and healthy, does that mean you have to opt out of all the traditional masculine ideals? Not necessarily, Singley said. It is important that we don't swap the message that the only way to be a man is to be aggressive and isolated for one that the only way to be a man is to be sensitive, Chu said. Either way, many boys are being told that there is a limit on who they can be and still be accepted, she said. And there are plenty of areas where traditional ideals of masculinity, such as protection and providing, are appropriate and helpful, Singley said. 'The problem is, then the father tries to only be that version of a man in all circumstances,' he said. 'What most of the research shows is that the ability to be balanced and flexible — to be a traditional guy in one setting, but in another, focus on empathy, compassion, accepting influence from someone else — translates to significantly better psychological and physical health.' Sometimes, what a dad needs to provide isn't money — it is attunement or care. And sometimes the best way to protect your family is to have an open, emotionally honest conversation, he said. 'Times are changing, and we don't want to be as restrictive or constraining,' Chu said. Delony has a 15-year-old son, and he is aware that he only has three more summers left before he sends his son out into the world, he said. What Delony is hoping to instill in that time are lessons about how his son should care for himself and others. 'He's got to be able to provide for himself, and he's got to be able to cocreate a world with his partner moving forward. He's got keep his eyes open for people he can serve, people he could take care of. He needs to be a net positive in the world and not a net drain on it,' Delony said. 'He's got to learn some sort of emotional IQ so that he can go into different situations –– whether it's a boardroom, it's a war room or it's a wedding room –– and be able to navigate those with sophistication and in ways that he can love other people.'
