Latest news with #tradwife
Daily Mail
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Country star causes outrage after singing for women to 'give up rights' and 'tale a slap' in controversial talk show appearance
An American musician sparked outrage after singing she would 'give up a few rights' and 'take a slap' if it meant she'd be treated more respectfully by men - in some divisive lyrics. Country star Jessie Murph, 20, performed the controversial tune on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, with the lines yearning for her beau to 'love her like it's 1965'. Her ballad was also nostalgic for a time period where courting gentlemen were 'handwriting letters' and 'showing up at the door with flowers' instead of 'hit[ting] [women] up on Snapchat ' at 2am. The star donned a Priscilla Presley beehive and a baby pink mini dress with patterned tights as she danced on a stage with a retro sofa in what appears to be a recreation of the 'tradwife' lifestyle, charming husband on hand. The term refers to women who perform 'traditional' gendered roles, often likened to the archetypal 1950s 'housewife'. Recent interest in the aesthetic has seen millions on social media calling for girls to ditch corporate life and instead, dedicate their days to cooking, cleaning, wearing modest and feminine dress, and practicing traditional etiquette - as well as being submissive to their husbands. Jessie's tune attracted fury online, with many branding the remark 'tasteless' for making light of a time in which women endured horrific misogyny. In both England and the US, marital rape was still legal during the era, and women could not open their own bank account, among other restrictions. 'In 1965, it was legal for men to rape their wives. I don't care if this is meant to be ironic or satirical or whatever, I absolutely hate it,' one commenter on social media penned. Another added: 'Like what does loving like it's 1965 even mean? Getting your a** beat? having no rights is romantic? I hate the white woman 50s-60s "aesthetic".' A third simply exclaimed: '"I think id give up a few rights if you would just love me like it's 1965" SORRY?????' 'Call me too woke but "I would give up rights if you love me like it's 1965" at a time where women are actually losing rights is so insane???' another offered. Others similarly agreed, writing: 'Has anyone else heard the song 1965 by Jessie Murph? 'Read the lyrics, it's literally far right propaganda that is encouraging women to give up their rights. People are saying it's satire but given everything going on, why say this while we are literally at risk of losing our rights ??'. She's not the only performer to have attracted backlash for similar aesthetics in recent months. In June, Sabrina Carpenter announced her new album Man's Best Friend - but the cover art for the upcoming release sparked fierce criticism from fans. During an Instagram Live, the 26-year-old pop singer shared a video of herself flipping through a stack of records by Donna Summer, ABBA, and Dolly Parton, before stopping on her own, revealing Man's Best Friend. Jessie's lyrics attracted fury online, with many believing the remark was tasteless and made light of a period of horrific misogyny for women Earlier this year, Jessie turned up at the ACM Awards 2025 in Texas with a baby piglet in her arms The teaser gave a peek at the album cover, showing Carpenter on all fours while a person dressed in black slacks — whose face is not visible — pulls her blonde hair. She also posted a close-up image of a heart-shaped dog collar engraved with Man's Best Friend. The highly sexualized and provocative album art quickly drew backlash, and she later released a more conservative alternative. After her performance, Jessie thanked the Tonight show for a 'dazzling' and 'grand time'. The Alabama-born singer first rose to fame from uploading vlogs and song covers to TikTok and YouTube - which led her on to releasing her two albums: That Ain't No Man That's the Devil in 2024 and Sex Hysteria in 2025. She also received backlash when the music video for her song, 1965, was released - with some accusing the footage of being pornography, Taste of Country reported. In the retro-inspired clips that shows a family around a table - and Jessie forlornly singing to a child - as there is also a brief shot of a couple having sex. The clip - which has to have age verification to be watched - drew comments like 'the fact that YouTube removes videos for way less and this is still up is insane' and having a child in this video, especially just before a sexual scene, is wild'. The track also includes risque lines like 'I might get a little slap-slap, but you wouldn't hit me on Snapchat' and 'I would be twenty, and it'd be acceptable for you to be forty'. Jessie resorted to taking to TikTok to insist that 'the entire song is satire', quipping: 'Are y'all stupid?'. It's not the first time Jessie sparked attention in the media. In May, the singer turned heads at the ACM awards 2025 after she bizarrely rocked up on the red carpet with a baby pig. Talking to Entertainment Tonight before the show, she introduced the 'little guy' as Wilbur. 'I just decided that I wanted a pig, and I've always wanted one my whole life,' she explained. 'I've always wanted a mini pig, and then I find out that miniature pigs don't exist.'
Daily Mail
20-07-2025
- Lifestyle
- Daily Mail
Aussie mum-of-two who quit her job to become a stay-at-home 'tradwife' reveals what her new life is really like
An Australian mum-of-two who quit her job to focus on her husband and two kids says she is embracing the 'tradwife' lifestyle - without the oppression. Stacey Knight has built a loyal following on social media with videos of her in summer dresses making meat pies and finger buns from scratch in her idyllic kitchen. Formerly a nurse, the 26-year-old gave up her job in 2023, swapping 'scrubs for spatulas and nappies', to raise her two young children. 'I got to a point where I was like, "Oh, I don't want to do this anymore",' she said about her job. While pregnant with her eldest son, Dusty, she studied a postgraduate course in injectable and dermal science because she wanted to start her own business. 'I was really struggling with the thought of being a stay-at-home mum,' she told Daily Mail Australia. However, after Dusty was born, her perspective shifted, and following six months of working just one day a week, she resigned. Two years later, she said she 'absolutely does not' miss her old job. Some of her content uses #tradwife, which is associated with women embracing traditional gendered roles at home and often associated with the archetype of 1950s housewives 'I much prefer to stay at home with my kids in these early years. I'd rather savour that moment,' she said. Neither her husband, Tom, nor her friends cared about her decision to leave the workforce, she said. 'I have lots of friends that love going to work,' she said, adding that people just have 'different interests'. 'I think women are expected to get a full-time job, plus do all the stay-at-home, mum things – like meal prep and caring for the children – and never get much of a break. 'I think that expectation is unfair but obviously some people do not have the choice and have to go to work.' Ms Knight chose to share her life on 'Staying home with Stacey' – a recipe website and set of social media channels inspired by her gardening and homemade meals. Whether in a flowing, white skirt gesturing with a natural lollipop, or with a basket on her arm filled with vegetables from her garden, she is the picture of a 'traditional wife'. The content is similar to that of other mothers in their 20s and 30s who have rushed to social media to create videos celebrating staying at home under the tag #tradwife. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Jasmine Darke (@jasminedinis) The term refers to women who perform traditional gendered roles serving their husbands and children, often likened to the archetypal 1950s 'housewife'. #Tradwife has divided many Australians, most recently parents of Year 9 students in South Australia who were shocked when non-profit competition organiser Debating SA suggested the lifestyle as a topic. 'The "Trad Wife" movement is good for women,' the debate was titled. Australian influencer Jasmine Dinis regularly shares Christian and political values alongside videos of her baking sourdough bread, infamously earning criticism online for her post in January: 'Woke up this morning. Baby on my hip. Making some fresh sourdough. My husband is hot. Trump is the president of the US. Life is good.' Several videos on Ms Knight's TikTok are captioned 'Husband's lunch prep with a side of flu' or 'snack prep for my two kids' with the hashtag. But, for the Queenslander, her content is not about selling a lifestyle – in fact, she has only ever had one sponsorship deal so far for which she was not paid. 'I'm doing it by choice, not because it's expected or because I don't have any other options. I genuinely enjoy it, and I chose this path myself,' she said. A TikTok video by Ms Knight was captioned 'Trad wife hobbies without the oppression' and some videos, including those prepping her husband's lunch, included the hashtag. Asked how she feels about the term 'tradwife', she emphasised that, for her, it is about freely embracing the things she loves. 'I don't believe it's about going backwards. I do it because I love it and have a genuine interest in homemaking, cooking and gardening,' she said. 'I think the 1950s version lacked choice and freedom. I'm sophisticated, I still have opinions and am very involved in everything our family does. 'If I didn't stay at home with the kids, someone would be paying for childcare. It is definitely still work.' And what about 'serving' her husband? Ms Knight explained Tom dislikes cooking, whereas she enjoys it and places a higher priority on health. 'I do it because my husband would happily eat a servo pie and I'd like him to stay healthy,' she said. 'He really would be happy with anything so I think I just care about his health maybe a little bit more than he does.'
Yahoo
18-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Women Who Were "Tradwives" And Got Divorced Are Sharing How And Why They Left Their Marriages, And It's Both Eye-Opening And Infuriating
Content warning: this article contains mention of abuse and sexual assault. Recently, I wrote an article sharing stories from people who actually were 20th-century "tradwives" about what the lifestyle was like for them. Their stories prompted me to ask divorced members of the BuzzFeed Community who have been trad- or stay-at-home wives what it was like and how their relationship came to an end. Here are their stories. Related: 1."He decided to trade me in for a newer model with a trust fund. We were 10 years into what I thought was a good marriage. I was wrong." "He married her months after our divorce. Now, 20+ years later, they are miserable. Bicker constantly according to my children, and I'm quite okay with not being with him or dealing with her. Yes, she knew he was married with two young children, but pursued him anyway. No, I'm not sorry for how it all turned out; ultimately, probably for the best. I've had a great life and career. I spent the last two decades making sure my kids are okay, and soon it will be time for me. Being a starter wife was a blessing in disguise. I think ultimately, we all got what we deserved." —jbkswfla 2."I guess I fell into the category of tradwife: a stay-at-home mom to two kids [who] homeschooled them and had a great community of friends doing the same kind of thing. I wouldn't say we [my husband and I] were 'trad' like what you see on TikTok; it wasn't a goal of mine or anything, we just did what worked for us. Until it didn't work anymore." "Our relationship started feeling off, emotionally, physically, it all just started falling apart slowly over a year or so. He worked so much, we lived apart when our second child was born because of work. It was a lot. We did therapy and tried all sorts of things until we decided to divorce. Turned out, my husband was gay, didn't want to ever face it due to his own reasons (parental shaming as a kid, amongst other things) [and had] created the life he thought he should have and had been having affairs online for years. I understand why he couldn't be truthful sooner, but I think it's wild he lived a whole different life for so long. He ended up having a lot of resentment towards me because I wasn't what he wanted, but he felt like he needed to live the 'traditional life'. We're in such a better place now, friendship-wise and personally. Life is crazy!" —Anonymous 3."Honestly? It just got boring. We didn't divorce because of the 'traditional' aspect; I only stayed home until our kids were a little bigger, and after that, oh, my God. It was SO. BORING. There's only so much pilates and painting and getting-coffee-with-the-girls you can do before your brain starts to atrophy; I needed work!" "So, our traditional lifestyle came to an end. I got a job that was pretty flexible, so I was still the more 'hands-on' parent when it came to the kids. Our marriage worked totally well like that for a few years... until it turned out my husband was a pathological liar, [a] drug user, and was embezzling money from his company 😁. We are divorced, he is in jail, and I have a big-girl job now. I'm happy to be able to support myself and my kids!" —Anonymous 4."He simply didn't respect the role that I was in. Unfortunately, I had a rough time as a single mom before meeting my ex. When he came into our lives, he love-bombed me and convinced me that he wanted me to be a stay-at-home parent so the financial stress would be off of me, and I could just stay home and enjoy being a mom. At first, it was great; but then it felt like I was a single parent all over again and he was just paying the bills." "He would never help with our children and was always yelling at them. He would get mad at me if I ever bought anything for myself or our children, even if it was a $5 T-shirt from Walmart. It wasn't because we couldn't afford it, but because he wanted to spend all of the money on himself." "He kept so many secrets, like opening credit cards without my knowing. We are currently going through a divorce and I'm going to get stuck paying 50% of his $60k credit card debt even though I had no knowledge of it. I wasn't allowed to know any of the financials and was 'living' off of a $400 per month allowance for groceries, gas, and household expenses. "I began going to school and he would try to convince me to drop out all the time. I took night classes that didn't end until 10 p.m. and in the three years I was taking those classes, our youngest was asleep by the time I got home a total of five times. Every other time, our youngest would be awake next to his sleeping dad, one hand in a bag of family-sized chips, and one hand holding his dad's phone [watching] YouTube videos depicting things that would give ME nightmares. I finally had enough and told him I wanted a divorce early last year. Since then, he has made my life absolutely miserable. Every time he has the kids for his visits, he doesn't feed them meals but gives them endless amounts of candy. He gives our 11-year-old energy drinks, so she comes back home to me completely riled up, sick to her stomach, and moody. He's not a good parent because he doesn't want to be, and he likes to make my life harder since I wouldn't remain his tradwife. According to him, I needed to be more like his mom — even requesting that I dress like her even though I'm in my early 30s and she's almost 70... My kids and I are a million times happier with him out of the house." —Anonymous Related: 5."Being a 'tradwife' as the kids call it nowadays had its good and bad. I was very happy to be the parent who stayed home with the kids, and my husband had a great job that could support us all. I know many happy couples with this setup. The problem, though, is that there's no "insurance" in the event that he decides to leave you." "After nine years of marriage, my husband told me that he had fallen in love with another woman and that our marriage would come to an end. He said he would always support our children, which he has done. But to this day, he fails to comprehend that all the years I spent supporting our family at home were years that I could have spent building up my salary, and my life, to support our family in a different way. I didn't just lose nine years of a salary; I lost nine years of building my salary. At 35, I had to start over making what a college grad would make." —Anonymous 6."It was hell. I have a Bachelor of Science in nursing and ended up with a husband who decided he didn't want me to work at all (prior to kids!) so I stayed home." "He was threatened by any friends I had or if I had fun without him, so he deleted all my contacts. Then my car needed to be fixed, and he chose not to do it even though we had plenty of money. I was trapped at home with no support system (my family was in another state), no friends, no work to fulfill me, and nothing to do. I'm basically ready for jail life if I ever have to go for any reason. I used my whole first paycheck after I got my first Big Girl Job to overpay a new friend for a photo shoot with my divorce settlement paperwork I received in the mail. Well worth it." —Anonymous 7."Not divorced, but widowed. [Being a 'tradwife'] was a decision made from a purely financial standpoint at first. I made less money than daycare would cost and also was not yet in an established career." "I LOVED staying home with my kids and got used to being in charge of the house, cooking, cleaning, [and] whatever else came with it. However, my husband died and now it is almost impossible to find a job after having taken so many years away from working. So if you're a tradwife/stay-at-home parent, I'd recommend doing whatever small things you can to be able to put something on your resume in case you find yourself having to make a life change!" —Anonymous 8."I am from a culture (LDS) that prioritizes getting married very young. My husband was somebody I knew from high school and from church, and he was a fun-loving guy as a teenager. We got married when I was 19 and had three kids together. By the time he was 24 or 25, he was growing more controlling — but it was all stuff I thought was cute and normal, if possessive, at first." "Then things progressed; he didn't want me seeing my friends outside the home anymore, he convinced me to leave my part-time job, and he didn't see why I needed to have a credit card (instead of a debit card he now funded). He said I needed to prioritize the kids, even though we could afford childcare and my parents are very hands-on. It only took a few months after leaving that job for me to realize my closed-off life was leaving me isolated and depressed — he even wanted to limit the time I spent with my own sister! Without telling him, I started applying for jobs again and landed a full-time position. Then, I sat him down and very calmly told him that he could either let me work or we could get divorced. He was pretty mad (as were some people in my community, when they found out), but..." Related: "We are now divorced. I realized that that man was not the nice boy I knew from high school. Getting married young can be really great, but it's not for everyone. I would even (although many people I know would disagree with me) say it's not for most people." "Girls, you deserve to know who A) yourself and B) your husband are as ADULTS before you get married and have kids with him. I am doing great now, feel wonderfully in control of my own life, and love my children so much. Being free does not limit my own or my children's lives at all." —Anonymous 9."I was a traditional wife who worked outside of the home about 25% of the 59-year marriage. I was responsible, hard-working, and did everything. He worked. He physically, emotionally, and verbally abused me. He raped me. He pissed away nearly $300k. He always lied. He cheated. I finally got sick of being used and abused." "Before he moved out, he transferred all his retirement accounts to a his-name-only account and replaced me as the beneficiary on everything. Money was the only thing he contributed, so ultimately I divorced him. He and my lawyer procrastinated (both are greedy, selfish miscreants) and dragged things out for over a year. He walked away with 12 contempt citations, a new car, and $100k annual income. I am destitute, but free." —Anonymous 10."I'm not divorced, but I wanted to be. My husband passed away, and I feel very guilty for feeling this way, but it has been a blessing in my life." "I am American from a very conservative Muslim family. I guess I wasn't a 'tradwife' in the current online way, which feels very Christian-oriented to me, but really with conservative religions, it's all the same. I went to college, but I'm pretty sure the point of my education was so my parents could 'brag' about it. They made it very clear to me that I was lucky to be 'allowed' to go, unlike my cousins back in Bangladesh, and that they wanted me to find a husband. It was like my life was the 1950s. Well, I found a really nice guy, he was from a similar background but he himself was pretty secular (more so than me). He drank and partied with his friends. We got married out of college. Turns out, he was very willing to turn up his 'conservative' side once we were married." "First, it was that he wanted me to stay home while he worked. At the time, I was all about it — hell yes, I'll stay home and let you buy me things and fund my life! But — buckle up — problems started when I gave birth to a baby girl." "I got pregnant again and suffered [a] miscarriage that was very traumatic for me. He blamed me and wanted me to get pregnant as soon as I could so he could have a son. That was a red flag and [was] when I started seriously considering leaving him, but I didn't have any money. Eventually, he hit me. He only did it once, but for me, that was enough. I packed up and went to my parents' and demanded a divorce. I don't think he would have given me one, but I guess it doesn't matter because... That night, he said he was going to 'come get' me and [our daughter]. [He] got in a car accident (his fault), and died from his injuries two days later. Turns out, he was drunk when it happened. It has been two years and our daughter is starting first grade soon. I am very happy I have my degree, because I now have a stable job. We are not rich but I never want another man to 'provide' for me. I can make do for myself." —Anonymous 11."It has been very hard. I feel a lot of guilt. I wanted to stay married for our family, but he got to be too much. I didn't have very much bargaining power in the relationship, but now we are divorced and I have my own job, which is nice." Something that's hard is that I come from quite a religious community and am still very religious, but lots of single-mother support groups etc. are very anti-Christian (I have grace for them, because a lot of them have been abused by their communities). I myself find a lot of inner strength in Jesus. "Sometimes in dark moments I still doubt if I did the right thing, but then I remind myself I am being ridiculous. My husband beat me. I had to leave before he turned on our children. I have full custody and a restraining order. I am proud of myself for getting out." —Anonymous Related: 12."I was one of the thousands of women who were in the workforce before COVID and left when it struck. At the time, I had a 3-year-old and [a] 2-year-old, and [when] life with COVID reached a point [where] I COULD return, I decided to stay. I now have a 6-year-old, a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old, [and a] divorce in progress." "He completely shut down as a parent in the house and refused to even be a partner to me romantically. He focused on professional joy only and I felt alone and exhausted. He did not manage the finances. He did not want to advance his career. I just couldn't take it anymore." —Anonymous 13."I was a stay-at-home mom, got a remote job because I didn't have personal money to spend, moved halfway across the country per his urging (away from my family), and then he convinced me to quit my job because I 'couldn't take care of the house like I used to.' (Not true.) The day after my last day of work, we went to our seventh-anniversary dinner, and on the way home he decided he was done with no reason other than he didn't want to be married anymore." "We drove home, paid the babysitter, and while our children slept, he left. He was gone for two months (my lawyer's PI couldn't even find him) with no communication with me or our children. He then acted like I was trying to pull one over on him because I sold things to make rent and feed our children, [said] that I cheated on him (I didn't) and was hiding money from him (but he's hidden money from me, in reality)." "Flash forward two years and he hasn't paid child support in almost a year and refuses to help me take care of our children or to take me off of any credit cards or loans that he fraudulently signed my name to. All while he's a CTO of a tech company and living with his girlfriend." "I'm currently in the process of suing him for child support and alimony as outlined in our divorce agreement. Thank God I have my parents to help because otherwise, I'd be homeless, have to move back in with them, and would essentially have to give up my rights to the kids because of 'abandonment.' I was able to get my job back but was laid off soon after during a company-wide layoff. I'm still looking for work over a year later, but I can't leave or I may never get my kids back because of the laws in my state (as advised by my lawyer)." —Anonymous finally: "God, once he wanted to go 'trad' the marriage lasted like, two seconds, LOL. I'm very pro letting people live how they want to live — but that lifestyle is NOT for me, and he married me knowing my personality." "I loved him a lot, we met at work (if that says anything) in our 20s, and got married when he was 30 and I was 29. After two years he wanted to move to Connecticut and have a baby. Well, the baby just wasn't happening for us... which I am now grateful for... and I was NOT moving to Connecticut. We were having sex less and whenever we were, he was stressed about making the non-existent baby. I started falling out of deep love with him and I felt so guilty, but he kept getting kind of... meaner? It all clicked one Thanksgiving at his parents' place. His mom was being pretty weird and kept ordering me around and acting like I couldn't do anything quite right. After we went home, he kept harping on about 'wasn't his mom so great and isn't she so talented at hosting and maybe we could try to host Christmas' if I thought I was up to it, etc. All of a sudden I realized: he didn't want me, his girlfriend anymore. He wanted a mommy. We are now separated and he has been dating a new girl. I heard from a mutual friend that they are already engaged, and we're not even divorced yet! I feel for him because I know how badly he wants a child, but I think he's letting it control his life. I'm worried for his mental health in the case that he never has kids." —Anonymous Let me know your thoughts on all of the above. And if you have your own story involving a "traditional" marriage, please feel free to share down below. Please note: some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website. If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here. If you are concerned that a child is experiencing or may be in danger of abuse, you can call or text the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453( service can be provided in over 140 languages. Also in Internet Finds: Also in Internet Finds: Also in Internet Finds: Solve the daily Crossword
Forbes
17-07-2025
- Lifestyle
- Forbes
Has The Backlash To Hustle Culture Gone Too Far?
Burnout used to be a status symbol. Now the anti-hustle movement is railing against it. There was a time, not too long ago, when burnout was a status symbol. The busier you were, the better. Success meant staying late, rising early, doing more, and doing it faster. Hustle culture was idolized. For many women, the so-called "girlboss" era promised empowerment through overachievement. But after years of glorifying the grind, burnout hit hard. The backlash was inevitable, and a counter movement began to take shape. 'Quiet quitting,' 'lazy girl jobs' and the 'soft girl era' climbed to the top of TikTok's algorithm. The rise of the 'trad wife' aesthetic began to reframe passivity as empowerment. As the recent New York Times article 'From Girlboss to No Boss' points out, the hustle era has quietly faded. This counter movement began as pushback against a toxic work culture that left little room for rest, balance, or authenticity. But some wonder if the pendulum has swung too far in the opposite direction. The anti-hustle movement was an overdue reminder that ambition shouldn't come at the cost of mental health. That work-life integration was possible, even if balance wasn't. But as "softness" becomes more of a virtue and disengagement is rebranded as empowerment, it raises an important question for leaders, workers, and entrepreneurs alike. In 2017, Amanda Goetz was living in New York City leading a marketing team at a public company. A normal workday among for her included 6 a.m. Soul Cycle classes, going into an office from 9-6, then happy hours and dinners with friends. She says the problem wasn't necessarily the hustle itself, it was the hustle without rest or intention. "This binary of ambition versus contentment is leaving us all somewhere in the messy middle, holding everything and yet feeling like we are failing at it all." That's what led her to write her forthcoming book, Toxic Grit, which draws on the principles of character theory to guide people toward finding a middle ground where they don't have to choose between ambition and disengagement. Jo Piazza, host of the Under the Influence podcast, has studied influencer culture for decades. She believes the cultural shift we're going through stems from the realization that all the effort and ambition didn't give women what the Lean In movement promised them - equality in the workplace. "It was born from burnout, from women realizing that no matter how hard we hustled, the system wasn't going to reward us with balance or sustainability," says Piazza. "Some women did what humans do when they hit a wall. They pivoted in the opposite direction. Enter 'soft girl,' 'tradwife,' and 'romanticize your life' culture." Piazza's new novel, Everyone Is Lying to You, is a satire of the trad wife lifestyle. The story follows two college friends: a journalist and an internet-famous trad wife who reunite to solve a possible murder. Their contrasting perspectives reveal the darker side behind social media's domestic bliss aesthetic. Have we reverted to the days of "The Donna Reed Show?" "My goal is to puncture the fantasy that trad wives perpetuate, that life is easier, more beautiful and more fulfilling if women just drop out of the workforce and depend on a man," Piazza says. "Because the fact is those women are working as content creators, often making more money than their husbands and putting in a ton more labor." Is trad wife culture really just hustle culture, with the pantsuit traded in for a raw milkmaid dress? Piazza wants the anti-hustle movement to rally around meaningful structural change, like protecting mental health and demanding protections like universal childcare and paid leave. 'Instead of pushing for better systems, some corners of the movement are encouraging women to check out of the workforce entirely, to opt out and rely on a man instead,' she says. Former HR executive Mita Mallick points out that, "This always on, hustle culture is killing us. Individuals are waking up to the realization that it's not normal." Her book, The Devil Emails at Midnight, explores how toxic hustle culture traumatized a generation of leaders, and how the next wave must unlearn those habits. Coach and founder Sofie Ragir sees the anti-hustle trend not as laziness, but as grief. "The hustle model doesn't work the way it promised. You can work your whole life and still not afford a home," she says. Her clients still want "big, bold lives," but they're no longer willing to sacrifice themselves to get there. "It's not about rejecting ambition," Ragir says. "It's about rejecting the idea that our worth is measured by constant output." But she warns against flattening this nuance with labels like "soft girl" or "tradwife." 'I don't think stillness or softness is inherently a problem,' says Ragir. 'For some, it's the beautiful ability to rest and recover. I don't think moralizing how people cope is helpful.' Specifically, preying on the guilt of women feeling like they're not enough, be it not leaning in hard enough, not hustling enough, or not being 'soft' enough. "If the current trend is to break glass ceilings yet you are in a season of cleanup and rest, you feel guilty,' she says. 'If you're pushing toward a big career goal, yet the current trend is about enjoying slowness, once again, you are left feeling guilty." "The pendulum will continue to swing back and forth," says Goetz. "We have to embrace the nuance and personalization of life and stop letting macro trends create micro guilt." Rachel Janfaza, founder of The Up and Up, a media and strategy firm focused on Gen Z research, says that despite the perception, this generation is not rejecting ambition. "Many Gen Z women are building careers as self-starters and entrepreneurs while actively setting boundaries and protecting their wellbeing," she says. 'What's different now is that holding both, grinding and also appreciating grounding, is not only normalized, it's expected.' But at its core, this moment seems to be about agency. 'Gen Z women know they have opportunities previous generations didn't,' says Janfaza. 'Many relish those opportunities. And yet, some are choosing a different path: not because they have to, but because they can. In rejecting the girlboss grind embraced by older millennials, they're reframing what empowerment looks like.' The experts agree that what's missing from this conversation is nuance, agency and the recognition that women do, in fact, still have choices. But when the loudest voices in our feeds scream, "Choose my way of life! It is the best way!" it can feel like that choice has already been made for us. "I want us to move toward a world where women have actual choices, not just rebranded versions of oppression in pretty packaging,' says Piazza. 'You want to work in an office? Great. You want to stay home with your kids? Also amazing. But let's not pretend that either one is easy or free of labor. Caregiving is work. Influencing is work. None of it should be erased or glamorized into something effortless." The real progress isn't in choosing hustle or softness, corporate work or domestic life. It's in protecting the agency to choose either, both, or something in between.
New York Times
11-07-2025
- Politics
- New York Times
What Conservative Women Really Want
To the Editor: Re 'Standing Up for Staying at Home' (Sunday Styles, June 29): The 'tradwife' movement, promoted at Turning Point USA's Young Women's Leadership Summit, sends a dangerous message to young women: Prioritize marriage and children over personal agency. As the chief executive of Jewish Women International, I see this not as a celebration of motherhood but as a push to make women financially and socially dependent on men. This narrative, amplified by figures like Charlie and Erika Kirk, dismisses women's autonomy, urging them to forgo careers and reproductive choice. The hypocrisy of female leaders arguing against careers while benefiting from their own, as one high school student attendee points out in the article, is striking. Women deserve the power to choose their paths — whether motherhood, career or both — without being told their worth lies in subservience. This campaign isn't about femininity; it's about control. Meredith JacobsWashington To the Editor: As a psychologist who has treated hundreds of women over the past four decades, I was interested in this article. One premise of the Turning Point USA conference is to 'bring back the celebration of the Mrs. degree.' Feminism has always been about women having choices, and forgoing a career to stay home and have children is certainly a choice. But I suggest that before making the 'Mrs. only' decision, young women consider the research. We know that 64 percent of working fathers take two weeks or less family leave time after the birth of a child, despite research that paternal leave is beneficial for fathers and babies. Also, the American child care system continues to rely on individual women rather than supportive structures, such as affordable and safe child care. And if we're going to resort to the use of slogans like 'We're done pretending that a cubicle is more empowering than a countertop,' I suggest that we add this slogan: 'Poverty is just one divorce away.' Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
