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My fiance's rich parents want me to quit work when we marry, but lost it when I asked for a trust in case we divorce
My fiance's rich parents want me to quit work when we marry, but lost it when I asked for a trust in case we divorce

Yahoo

time3 days ago

  • Business
  • Yahoo

My fiance's rich parents want me to quit work when we marry, but lost it when I asked for a trust in case we divorce

When a young couple takes that big step into marriage, managing finances and expectations can be a little tricky. Take Karlie and Tim, for example. These 27-years-olds recently got engaged and have started having discussions about what their married life should look like. Karlie, who earns more than $170,000 per year, makes a lot more money than Tim, who earns a modest teacher's salary. They split all of their bills, but Tim supplements his income with a trust fund that's in the low seven figures. Don't miss Thanks to Jeff Bezos, you can now become a landlord for as little as $100 — and no, you don't have to deal with tenants or fix freezers. Here's how I'm 49 years old and have nothing saved for retirement — what should I do? Don't panic. Here are 6 of the easiest ways you can catch up (and fast) You don't have to be a millionaire to gain access to this $1B private real estate fund. In fact, you can get started with as little as $10 — here's how Recently, Tim's parents insisted that Karlie quit her job after the two are married to focus on being a stay-at-home mom, but Karlie doesn't want to give up her career. Instead, she decided to offer a compromise, suggesting that Tim's family — who are very wealthy — set up an irrevocable trust for Karlie, contributing her gross earnings yearly for 35 years with anticipated raises and promotions. This would protect her in case of divorce and ensure her a healthy retirement. But Tim's family was incensed with my suggestion. Meanwhile, Tim doesn't want to sign a prenuptial agreement that would transfer half of his assets to Karlie if the marriage doesn't work out. So, what should Karlie do to protect her financial future? To figure that out, let's get into the numbers. The state of marriage in the U.S. As of 2024, America's divorce rate sits between 40% and 50% for first marriages. With this in mind, Karlie is wisely choosing to protect herself and her future finances in the event that her marriage with Tim comes to an end. Without a prenuptial agreement, Karlie may be blocked from claiming a percentage of Tim's trust fund in the event of a divorce. Even in community property states — which considers a married couple as joint owners of nearly all assets acquired in marriage — Tim's trust fund was set up before he married Karlie, therefore it belongs solely to him. The most Karlie could hope to claim would be a percentage of Tim's teacher salary for the years they were married, as well as half of any assets they might acquire during that time. Furthermore, men tend to fare much better financially than women after divorce. According to PubMed Central, women in America experience an estimated 27% decline in their standard of living following a divorce, while men experience a 10% increase under the same circumstances. 'Numerous studies have shown that the economic costs of divorce fall more heavily on women,' writes Thomas Leopold in an article for PubMed Central. 'After separation, women experience a sharper decline in household income and a greater poverty risk.' With her $170,000 salary, Karlie is currently in the top 10% wage bracket. Sacrificing her career and the hard work that got her there would be unwise without any alternatives to protect her financial future. Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says — and that 'anyone' can do it Why Karlie needs to protect herself Without a trust fund of her own or a prenuptial agreement, Karlie is exposing herself to a great deal of financial risk. For stay-at-home mothers, opting out of their career in the short or long term can mean not just a financial loss, but also a loss of identity that many find hard to cope with. Financially, a stay-at-home parent can save the family between $10,000 and $18,000 on childcare costs each year. However, if Karlie gives up her career, the family will likely have to dip even more into Tim's trust fund to pay the bills, which may cause some arguments or resentment. Karlie and Tim would then have to decide how to budget and spend Tim's money. They'd also have to figure out how Karlie can have some financial freedom within the marriage without her own earnings to spend. How Karlie and Tim can approach tough money conversations Before Karlie and Tim come together to discuss financial plans for their married life, it would be helpful for both of them to get clear on their personal financial values. This could include asking themselves questions like 'where do I want to be in 30 years?', 'how do I picture myself living in retirement?' and 'what do I prioritize when it comes to money?' As they come together to discuss their financial future, finding some common ground in shared financial values will be important. Though differing values can coexist in a marriage, finding a balance could be key to moving their relationship forward. Once they are able to establish a shared vision and some shared goals for their future, it may also be helpful to get an outside perspective with a financial advisor or a couples therapist. This bias-free advice could help Karlie and Tim make realistic choices that will benefit them both equally. The outcome of these conversations will help Karlie decide if this marriage, and the lifestyle it may entail, will be right for her. Whether your relationship includes a seven-figure trust fund or taking on your spouse's significant student debt, it's important to have hard conversations about money before you sign the marriage licence to ensure you have a shared plan for your financial future. What to read next Robert Kiyosaki warns of a 'Greater Depression' coming to the US — with millions of Americans going poor. But he says these 2 'easy-money' assets will bring in 'great wealth'. How to get in now Accredited investors can now buy into this $22 trillion asset class once reserved for elites – and become the landlord of Walmart, Whole Foods or Kroger without lifting a finger. Here's how Rich, young Americans are ditching the stormy stock market — here are the alternative assets they're banking on instead Here are 5 'must have' items that Americans (almost) always overpay for — and very quickly regret. How many are hurting you? Stay in the know. Join 200,000+ readers and get the best of Moneywise sent straight to your inbox every week for free. This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind. 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My fiance's rich parents want me to quit work when we marry, but lost it when I asked for a trust in case we divorce
My fiance's rich parents want me to quit work when we marry, but lost it when I asked for a trust in case we divorce

Yahoo

time3 days ago

  • Business
  • Yahoo

My fiance's rich parents want me to quit work when we marry, but lost it when I asked for a trust in case we divorce

When a young couple takes that big step into marriage, managing finances and expectations can be a little tricky. Take Karlie and Tim, for example. These 27-years-olds recently got engaged and have started having discussions about what their married life should look like. Karlie, who earns more than $170,000 per year, makes a lot more money than Tim, who earns a modest teacher's salary. They split all of their bills, but Tim supplements his income with a trust fund that's in the low seven figures. Don't miss Thanks to Jeff Bezos, you can now become a landlord for as little as $100 — and no, you don't have to deal with tenants or fix freezers. Here's how I'm 49 years old and have nothing saved for retirement — what should I do? Don't panic. Here are 6 of the easiest ways you can catch up (and fast) You don't have to be a millionaire to gain access to this $1B private real estate fund. In fact, you can get started with as little as $10 — here's how Recently, Tim's parents insisted that Karlie quit her job after the two are married to focus on being a stay-at-home mom, but Karlie doesn't want to give up her career. Instead, she decided to offer a compromise, suggesting that Tim's family — who are very wealthy — set up an irrevocable trust for Karlie, contributing her gross earnings yearly for 35 years with anticipated raises and promotions. This would protect her in case of divorce and ensure her a healthy retirement. But Tim's family was incensed with my suggestion. Meanwhile, Tim doesn't want to sign a prenuptial agreement that would transfer half of his assets to Karlie if the marriage doesn't work out. So, what should Karlie do to protect her financial future? To figure that out, let's get into the numbers. The state of marriage in the U.S. As of 2024, America's divorce rate sits between 40% and 50% for first marriages. With this in mind, Karlie is wisely choosing to protect herself and her future finances in the event that her marriage with Tim comes to an end. Without a prenuptial agreement, Karlie may be blocked from claiming a percentage of Tim's trust fund in the event of a divorce. Even in community property states — which considers a married couple as joint owners of nearly all assets acquired in marriage — Tim's trust fund was set up before he married Karlie, therefore it belongs solely to him. The most Karlie could hope to claim would be a percentage of Tim's teacher salary for the years they were married, as well as half of any assets they might acquire during that time. Furthermore, men tend to fare much better financially than women after divorce. According to PubMed Central, women in America experience an estimated 27% decline in their standard of living following a divorce, while men experience a 10% increase under the same circumstances. 'Numerous studies have shown that the economic costs of divorce fall more heavily on women,' writes Thomas Leopold in an article for PubMed Central. 'After separation, women experience a sharper decline in household income and a greater poverty risk.' With her $170,000 salary, Karlie is currently in the top 10% wage bracket. Sacrificing her career and the hard work that got her there would be unwise without any alternatives to protect her financial future. Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says — and that 'anyone' can do it Why Karlie needs to protect herself Without a trust fund of her own or a prenuptial agreement, Karlie is exposing herself to a great deal of financial risk. For stay-at-home mothers, opting out of their career in the short or long term can mean not just a financial loss, but also a loss of identity that many find hard to cope with. Financially, a stay-at-home parent can save the family between $10,000 and $18,000 on childcare costs each year. However, if Karlie gives up her career, the family will likely have to dip even more into Tim's trust fund to pay the bills, which may cause some arguments or resentment. Karlie and Tim would then have to decide how to budget and spend Tim's money. They'd also have to figure out how Karlie can have some financial freedom within the marriage without her own earnings to spend. How Karlie and Tim can approach tough money conversations Before Karlie and Tim come together to discuss financial plans for their married life, it would be helpful for both of them to get clear on their personal financial values. This could include asking themselves questions like 'where do I want to be in 30 years?', 'how do I picture myself living in retirement?' and 'what do I prioritize when it comes to money?' As they come together to discuss their financial future, finding some common ground in shared financial values will be important. Though differing values can coexist in a marriage, finding a balance could be key to moving their relationship forward. Once they are able to establish a shared vision and some shared goals for their future, it may also be helpful to get an outside perspective with a financial advisor or a couples therapist. This bias-free advice could help Karlie and Tim make realistic choices that will benefit them both equally. The outcome of these conversations will help Karlie decide if this marriage, and the lifestyle it may entail, will be right for her. Whether your relationship includes a seven-figure trust fund or taking on your spouse's significant student debt, it's important to have hard conversations about money before you sign the marriage licence to ensure you have a shared plan for your financial future. What to read next Robert Kiyosaki warns of a 'Greater Depression' coming to the US — with millions of Americans going poor. But he says these 2 'easy-money' assets will bring in 'great wealth'. How to get in now Accredited investors can now buy into this $22 trillion asset class once reserved for elites – and become the landlord of Walmart, Whole Foods or Kroger without lifting a finger. Here's how Rich, young Americans are ditching the stormy stock market — here are the alternative assets they're banking on instead Here are 5 'must have' items that Americans (almost) always overpay for — and very quickly regret. How many are hurting you? Stay in the know. Join 200,000+ readers and get the best of Moneywise sent straight to your inbox every week for free. This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind. Error in retrieving data Sign in to access your portfolio Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data

This Woman's Rich In-Laws Demanded She Quit Her Six-Figure Job To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom. Now, She's Being Called "Rude" For Asking Them To Pay Her Salary
This Woman's Rich In-Laws Demanded She Quit Her Six-Figure Job To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom. Now, She's Being Called "Rude" For Asking Them To Pay Her Salary

Yahoo

time13-07-2025

  • General
  • Yahoo

This Woman's Rich In-Laws Demanded She Quit Her Six-Figure Job To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom. Now, She's Being Called "Rude" For Asking Them To Pay Her Salary

Recently, a woman went viral on the r/amitheasshole subreddit when seeking advice on how to handle her wealthy in-laws demanding she quit her six-figure job for motherhood. Here's the full story: "My fiancé's parents are loaded. Old money loaded. They can afford what I'm asking, no problem. I make very good money at my job. I'm currently 27 and earn over $170,000 USD a year. Tim is a teacher. He doesn't make as much, but he has a trust fund, so he works sort of as public service. It's big in his family." "Recently, I had a weird conversation with him and his folks. They think that after the wedding, I should quit working and be a stay-at-home mom. I thought they were joking and kind of laughed. They are perfectly serious. They think it's emasculating that I earn more than Tim." "Over the course of my career, I will earn much more than him. But his trust fund is low seven figures. He could afford to pay me what I earn yearly, but he can't due to the stipulations of his trust. His mom, on the other hand, has lots of interest built up in her trust." "So, I offered a solution I thought was fair. They set up an unrecoverable trust for me. They must contribute to my gross earnings yearly with bumps for anticipated raises and promotions." "The deposits would be for the next 35 years. That way, I'm a stay-at-home mom, Tim is the breadwinner, and I'm protected in the case of a divorce." "They went fucking nuts. Apparently, I'm ridiculous for thinking they will give me money. I offered a compromise. I sign a prenup wherein I am entitled to half of Tim's trust fund in the case of divorce of I give up my career." "Also not acceptable to them. I'm kind of at a loss. Do they honestly think I would give up my career with zero safety net? My mom says I'm being kind of rude putting everything in such stark monetary terms. I think I'm being reasonable. What do you think?" Y'all, this family is messy, and a lot of people online think so, too. "Old money is weird. They live by their own rules. They are not worried about a divorce because you are a possession to show off, like a nice car or watch." "If Tim gets tired of you later, you should feel blessed he let you enjoy the time with his family. I work with a lot of these families, and it's wild how they actually view people. They will do charities and say nice things to the public to keep up appearances. But you just got a firsthand experience of what the true behind-the-scenes conversations look like. Don't quit your job, if they have a problem with it, ensure the trust is set up in your name." —Informal_Ask6646 "If your husband did not fight tooth and nail to back up your proposals (and explicitly against his family's wishes), then you have a very clear answer as to how much trouble you will be in if you give up your financial security and end up divorced." —teaonthetardis "Not the asshole. They are asking you to give up financial security for him, but don't want him to risk anything in return." "You are 27, making $170,000 a year, you are obviously good at what you're doing and have put the work in. This is the time that your fiancé should be standing up for you and shutting his family down; his response here should tell you everything you need to know about your future marriage. Don't do it, protect your future first." —kiwi62300 "My mother was guilted into giving up her career to stay home as a mom, and it was the worst decision she's ever made." "Her circumstances were a little different, but she was also married to a man whose family had money and told her she needed to focus on being a mother, and he was going to be a lawyer and take care of her and all of that stuff an immigrant's daughter dreams of. And then that didn't happen, and she was stuck at home relying on him for money that he wasn't bringing in. But by then, her career was gone; she was 40 with three kids, had an associate's degree that she never got the chance to further with the company that would have paid for more schooling, and all her friends from that job were gone, too. No professional connections, no honed skills, no income. You never know what could happen. Don't let yourself be unprepared." —bigsigh7 What are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments below.

Wealthy In-Laws Tell Woman She Needs to Quit Her Job. She Declines Unless They Set Up a Trust Fund for Her
Wealthy In-Laws Tell Woman She Needs to Quit Her Job. She Declines Unless They Set Up a Trust Fund for Her

Yahoo

time13-07-2025

  • Business
  • Yahoo

Wealthy In-Laws Tell Woman She Needs to Quit Her Job. She Declines Unless They Set Up a Trust Fund for Her

A woman asked the internet if she acted the right way around her soon-to-be in-laws Her partner's parents told her that she should "quit working and be a stay-at-home mom" The woman asked for financial protection from the family if she were to quit her jobDealing with in-laws can be hard enough without mixing finances. In a recent Reddit post, a 27-year-old woman shared that her "fiance's parents are loaded. Old money loaded." While she earns over $170,000 a year, her fiancé, a teacher, "doesn't make as much" but has a trust fund from his family. "Recently, I had a weird conversation with him and his folks," the woman shared. "They think that after the wedding, I should quit working and be a stay-at-home mom. I thought they were joking and kind of laughed. They are perfectly serious. They think it's emasculating that I earn more than him." Although she will make more than her fiancé over the course of her career, she pointed out that "his trust fund is low seven figures," and money won't be an issue. "He could afford to pay me what I earn yearly but he can't due to the stipulations of his trust," she added. "His mom on the other hand has lots of interest built up in her trust." She noted that she doesn't want to quit her job without any protections and "offered a solution [she] thought was fair." She suggested "they set up an unrecoverable trust" for her. "They must contribute my gross earnings yearly with bumps for anticipated raises and promotions. The deposits would be for the next 35 years That [way] I'm a stay at home mom, my fiancé is the breadwinner, and I'm protected in the case of a divorce." However, the family went "nuts" at the suggestion and told her she was "ridiculous for thinking they will give [her] money." So, she offered another "compromise." "I sign a prenup wherein I am entitled to half of [my fiancé's] trust fund in the case of divorce if I give up my career," she suggested. However, her idea was "also not acceptable to them." "I'm kind of at a loss. Do they honestly think I would give up my career with zero safety net?" she wondered. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. While the poster's mother says she's "being rude putting everything in such stark monetary terms," the woman believes she's "being reasonable," which most commenters agreed with. "They are asking you to give up financial security for him, but don't want him to risk anything in return. You are 27, making $170,000 a year, you are obviously good at what you're doing and have put the work in," one commenter wrote. "This is the time that your fiancé should be standing up for you and shutting his family down; his response here should tell you everything you need to know about your future marriage. Don't do it, protect your future first." Read the original article on People

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