Toddler Mom Says She Struggles With Pretend Play—Here's Why She's Not Alone

Yahoo

a day ago

"I love playing pretend school, stuffed animal zoo, police chase, dolly daycare (fill in the blank) with my kids every day, all the time," said no parent ever. Because, shockingly, sometimes we have things to do other than roar like a dino for seven hours straight.
It's well known that being a mom of a toddler can be exhausting, there's a million things to remember from keeping them safe, well-fed, and (of course) entertained. With all the pressure, it's normal to feel like your thoughts are scattered when trying to focus.
For one toddler mom the pressure of having to make up scenarios during playtime left her feeling frustrated. She turned to Reddit to explain how she struggles to play with her toddler, saying that while her husband is great at playing with their child, she forgot how to.
In her post, mom explains that her daughter waits for her to come up with scenarios and often times she can't conjure anything up. "I was so good at this as a kid but my mind like shoes away from it now as an adult," she writes. Now, she says she no longer looks forward to her daughter asking to play together. "I hate feeling like I have no idea what to do and I am just disappointing her."
When it comes to my own kids, I can relate to feeling like I'm disappointing them during playtime. It seems I'm never quite doing it right when it comes to imagining how a My Little Pony restaurant might function. Go figure! Thankfully, some parents on the Reddit thread are right there with us who have had enough of pretending the floor is lava.
First, all hail a Reddit parent who bravely confessed, "I'm the same way. I really struggle with imaginary play with my kids. It's not fun for me at all, and I just find it mentally exhausting."
But some parents believe that it doesn't require much effort to pretend play, they say that the real issue is the mom's inability to connect with her inner child and tap into a sense of whimsy.
While how seriously your child takes pretend play depends on them, it's also OK to not force yourself to dream up scenarios that please your child. Independent play offers many benefits to children, so stop beating yourself up if you find yourself longing to exit the sofa bus.
For many parents, with pretend play comes a lot of pressure to remember details. While most of us love how creative our kids are, it's exhausting having to remember all the rules of their pretend world.
Moreover, some toddlers can also be quite bossy and demand that pretend play reaches their standards of entertainment and originality, instructing parents on the intricacies of the backstory and dialogue.
In another Reddit thread about hating pretend play, one parent wrote, "My daughter used to get mad at me for not saying my lines right. You know, the lines she never gave me. It was always like walking on stage for a Broadway play on opening night without ever having seen the script."
Although many parents admitted to being so over the bossiness, others voiced what so many of us feel when we become disengaged from fairy hair salon or T-Rex swim lessons: The guilt can be tough.
Are we really in the wrong when a tea party with a toddler leaves us near tears (of boredom)?
No. In fact, experts say that a kiddo playing alone is beneficial for their development. "Sometimes it's good for children to play alone or independently because they can be more creative when they are playing by themselves," child development expert Ferdousi Khanom told UNICEF.
Another advantage of independent play is a child being able to sharpen their problem-solving skills.
Nancy Olsen-Harbich, the Program Director and a Human Development Specialist with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County's Family Health and Wellness Program, shared in a blog post that solitary play also helps kids learn to take initiative and build their self-esteem, because, hey, now they know they don't need a caregiver to pull off an impressive kitchen chair train.
Bottom line: Pretend play is a challenge for many caregivers. If you're pretty sure your imagination died along with your ability to stay up past 9 p.m., don't chalk that feeling up to being the worst parent ever. Instead, know you are far from alone (mom over here who just totally screwed up my son's reenactment of The Little Mermaid because I couldn't get the mermaid tail on right).
And, the next time you'd rather run out the door than pretend to "be the mommy velociraptor," remind yourself it's OK to say "no". The play you're not involved in can still offer countless benefits for children.
Read the original article on Parents