'Ellie for the Girls' follows attractive guys around NYC. It's made her a viral sensation.

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3 days ago

NEW YORK — The group of film fanatics sporting vintage band T-shirts on an East Village sidewalk. A finance analyst plugging numbers into an Excel spreadsheet at a Midtown Chipotle. A barista with a handlebar mustache serving an oat milk latte at a Bushwick coffee shop.
Across New York City, all of Ellie Williams' friends seemed to have the same question: Where are all of these attractive men going out?
One day, Williams, 26, approached a guy and asked.
'For the girls, let's go,' Williams exclaims before asking a charming brunette man for his name, age, occupation, and — most importantly — his favorite bar to go out to in the city.
'I work for a French fashion marketplace for moms,' says Vincent, 25, before offering up 'Time Again,' a hip cocktail stop just off Canal Street, as his favorite spot.
The series, 'Where men on the street go out in NYC,' quickly went viral, sparking floods of comments from young women, desperate to leave the dating apps behind and meet these potential partners in the flesh. Williams has made more than 50 videos in her series, which she hopes is helping young people get out and meet in real life — and maybe find romance.
'We've become so comfortable having these conversations online, I feel like the art of conversation has been lost,' Williams says. 'I think that the main reason is honestly the fear of rejection.'
More: 'Sexual conservatism,' virginity and why Gen Z is having less sex
Why does Gen Z have a harder time dating?
Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," says that Gen Z — the cohort born between 1997 and 2012 — is rewriting the dating rulebook. The 'date to marry' mindset has declined, online dating is the default, and mixed messages about gender roles create confusion about how men and women should date.
'The irony is that while it's never been easier to connect, many people feel lonelier than ever,' Chan says.
Data from Match.com and Hinge find that young people are looking for serious relationships, but simultaneously reporting high levels of dating-related anxiety — more than half of Gen Z Hinge daters say concerns about rejection have dissuaded them from pursuing a relationship.
As a result, Gen Z daters are more wary of commitment than older generations. More daters are embracing the area in between hooking up and dating. They may use the label of being 'exclusive' without formally dating, or opt for an undefined dynamic that's often referred to as a 'situationship.'
Chan says these situationships offer closeness without pressure, but frequently result in disappointment, guilt, and heartbreak when one partner develops feelings.
'In a way, they're trading the hard work and emotional effort it takes to build real relationship skills for a different kind of hard: the confusion, stress, and emotional toll that comes from living in ambiguity,' Chan says.
The 'short-form, swipe-heavy nature of modern dating culture' complicates things further, according to Chan, who says a paradox of choice on apps fosters a 'shopping cart mentality' where daters evaluate users as if they were products. More than half of adults under 30 report having used dating apps like Tinder, Match, Bumble, and Hinge, according to Pew Research.
'People are sick of them,' Williams says. 'People don't really want to meet on them but I think that they go to them by default, because that's what they know their friends are doing.'
Gen Z is less likely to approach others romantically in person
A nationwide reckoning with the #MeToo Movement, evolving gender roles in the home and workplace, the rise of viral, online cancel culture and steep political polarization have all reshaped the social norms around how men and women engage. Young people are less likely to approach others in person romantically, according to Chan, primarily due to fear of rejection or being perceived as intrusive.
'It feels like there's this men and women disconnect, and people are kind of confused with the roles that they should play,' Williams says. 'Women are still nervous to go up to men, and men are less likely now to go up to women.'
Gen Z's dating style reflects a deeper trend of risk aversion — young people are also drinking less and having less sex. While those things can be positive, they're also indicators that some Gen Zers are socially isolated. Much of Gen Z missed out on pivotal years in the classroom or office during the pandemic, impacting their ability to socialize.
'If you're not really forced to be in these social situations and lack the social skills, the path of least resistance is to avoid,' Chan says. It's easy to stay home, play video games, watch porn, even get an AI girlfriend to give temporary hits of dopamine and a false sense of intimacy.'
Williams wants her videos to give men and women the inspiration to go offline and out in the real world.
Her videos feature men ranging from 23 to 31 and run the gamut from DJs wearing Yankees hats, cigarette-smoking models and bartenders with nose rings to a charming Australian banker. Even Broadway actor Kevin William Paul got in on the action.
In follow up videos, Williams shows herself checking out the spots these men suggest accompanied by a lowdown on the vibe and people frequenting them. The series leads her to spots like the East Village's Studio 151, a sushi restaurant in a former speak-easy that turns into a dance hall as the night goes on, and the divey 169 Bar on the Lower East Side, which she describes as 'alternative meets frat boy.'
Her substack includes a map with nearly 100 recommendations of where to go out. She's hosted two in-person events at Nublu and Jeans in New York City, and wants to bring her brand and events to other cities across the country.
More: Gen Z men, women have a deep political divide. It's made dating a nightmare
And yes — there have been some success stories.
'Guys told me that girls will DM them. They've gone on couple dates, and that's kind of fun to see,' Williams says.
Rachel Hale's role covering Youth Mental Health at USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input. Reach her at [e-mail] and @rachelleighhale on X.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Ellie for the Girls' is helping Gen Zers date. It's working.
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