Hertford raid sees £2m worth of cocaine seized and three arrested
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The Sun
26 minutes ago
- The Sun
I found out fiancée was a sex worker and dumped her – so why do I miss her so much?
DEAR DEIDRE: MY fiancée turned out to be a sex worker, so why do I miss her so much? She has lied and cheated on me with other men, but I still have feelings for her and wonder if I should take her back. We are both in our early thirties and we were together for six years. When we first met, she admitted she had done a bit of lap dancing to support herself through university, and that she worked as an escort a few times when money was really tight. It made me feel jealous, but I understood. And as it all happened before she met me, or so I thought, I felt I shouldn't judge. I fell in love with her and last summer, asked her to marry me. We also talked about trying for a baby. But over the past six months, she started behaving erratically. Her style of dress became much more provocative, and she began to plaster herself in make-up whenever she 'went out with her friends' — which was increasingly frequent. One day, I came home early from work and saw her coming out of our neighbour's house, looking dishevelled. He is married and in his fifties. Shocked, I accused her of having an affair. Her response was to burst out laughing, which made me even more angry and upset. She told me she had no interest in him. Cheating and can you get over it When I pressed her, she admitted he'd paid her for sex. I was horrified. But she wasn't even sorry. She claimed she had told me she sometimes did sex work, so it shouldn't come as a surprise to me. And it wasn't cheating — she was saving up for our wedding. I ended our relationship immediately, moving out that night. I've since found out she's slept with half the men in our town. My friends tell me I've had a lucky escape, but I can't stop thinking about her. We should have been getting married soon. What should I do? DEIDRE SAYS: You accepted she had done sex work in the past, but clearly wouldn't have agreed to her continuing to do it. She should have told you the truth – not least because she may have put your sexual health at risk. Please make an appointment at a sexual health clinic to be sure. It's natural to miss her, but you miss the person you thought you loved, not the woman she really was. The reality is, she was happy to sleep with other men for money behind your back. Take some time and space to get over her. You deserve to meet someone you can trust. My support pack, Mending A Broken Heart, should help you to move on. THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME DEAL WITH PAST ABUSE DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN counselling for depression unearthed memories of childhood abuse, it sent me into a mental tailspin. Suddenly, I remembered how my male cousin used to touch me sexually when I was 11 and he was 16 – something I'd never told anyone. At the time I thought it was normal but now, as a 30-year-old man, I realised it might be considered rape – even though I never told him to stop. I also realised this abuse might explain my confusion over my sexuality – something troubling me for years. I didn't know if I should tell my family or my partner and badly neede advice, so I wrote to you. You gently and sympathetically told me that what had happened was indeed rape because, as a child, I couldn't consent. You advised me to read your support pack, Abused As A Child?, and recommended I speak to a counsellor before making any decisions about telling my family or going to the police. Hearing your confirmation that I had been raped opened my eyes. I followed your advice and have had professional support. I've now spoken to my family, who were very understanding. Even though I can't change the past, I now feel so much more positive about the future. DEIDRE SAYS: You have been so brave. It can't have been easy to open up to your family. I hope this will be the start of a healing journey. DEAR DEIDRE: THE fear that my daughter and her husband could have a severely disabled child is keeping me awake at night. She doesn't know that there's a rare genetic condition in my husband's family, which has been kept under wraps. His sister was born with it, and was hidden away in a care home until she died – like a shameful secret. My daughter is 30 and newly married. She is really excited about having kids and says they plan to start trying soon. My husband and his family are in denial about his late sister's condition, saying she was brain damaged at birth. But I've spoken to doctors and know that's not true. This genetic mutation – which leaves babies unable to talk, feed or walk – could pop up at any time. I want my daughter and her husband to have genetic testing, but I don't know how to bring up the subject. What should I do? My husband won't discuss it. DEIDRE SAYS: If there's a chance this mutation could be passed on, and genetic testing is available, as a loving mother you owe it to your daughter to tell her about it. This will give her and her husband the chance to make their own informed choices. Imagine the guilt you'll feel if her child is born severely disabled, and this could have been prevented, or at least prepared for. Before you talk to them, first find out as much as you can about the condition and get emotional support too from charity Unique ( 01883 723 356). Tell your husband you are doing this, and why, with or without his blessing. Hopefully, he will come around. HER PASSION FADED ONCE WE'D MOVED IN TOGETHER DEAR DEIDRE: SOMETHING is missing from my relationship, and I don't know how to get it back, or whether I can. My girlfriend and I used to be so passionate and affectionate, but lately all she wants to do is sit chatting on her phone to friends or watching TV. Both in our late 20s, we've been living with each other for nine months. Before we moved in together, after dating for almost a year, we would have sex all the time. And when we weren't together, we constantly texted each other. She would send me little loving messages, and wanted to know every detail of my day. We could talk for hours about music or politics. Now, when she comes in from work, she barely even pecks me on the cheek and doesn't seem to want to chat. She goes straight on her phone. She is generally too tired or not in the mood for sex, and we rarely even hug. It feels like she has gone from being my lover to my flatmate. Is this normal? She doesn't seem unhappy, but I am. I realise romance doesn't last for ever but I want more than this. DEIDRE SAYS: While it's true that the first flush of romance fades away, that doesn't mean you should stop communicating or being affectionate. Moving in together does change the dynamics of a relationship. When you can have sex on tap because you sleep next to each other every night, it becomes less exciting. Perhaps your girlfriend just feels comfortable now. Maybe she believes she doesn't have to try any more. But there's a difference between comfort and complacency. Even the happiest couples need to work on their relationship. So, if you're unhappy, you need to tell her. Rather than criticising her, tell her how much you miss chatting and having sex. Arranging date nights might help. Perhaps plan a weekend away – something to break up the routine. My support pack, How To Look After Your Relationship, should help.
BreakingNews.ie
an hour ago
- BreakingNews.ie
Sally Rooney will remain ‘committed supporter of Palestine Action', court told
Sally Rooney has told the London High Court she is 'and will continue to be a committed supporter' of Palestine Action, which failed to secure a temporary block on it being banned as a terrorist group on Friday. The Irish author said in court documents that the ban would prevent her from speaking at future public events as she 'could not in good conscience disguise or lie about my principles' if it comes into effect at 12.01am on Saturday as planned. Advertisement If the ban does come into effect, it would make membership of, or support for, Palestine Action a criminal offence punishable by up to 14 years in prison. Rooney has provided support for a legal claim by Huda Ammori, the co-founder of Palestine Action, against the Home Office, over the decision to proscribe the group under the Terrorism Act 2000. Ms Ammori asked a High Court judge on Friday to temporarily block the move from becoming law over the weekend, ahead of a bid to be given the green light to challenge the Government's decision later this month. But in a ruling, Mr Justice Chamberlain refused to block the ban, stating that any harm caused is 'insufficient to outweigh the strong public interest in maintaining the order in force'. Advertisement Barristers for Ms Ammori are seeking to appeal against the ruling on Friday evening. In her witness statement, cited in Mr Justice Chamberlain's judgment, Rooney said the 'cultural effects' of Palestine Action becoming proscribed 'could not be easily mended'. She said: 'Though I am based in Ireland, my work is published in the UK. My novels regularly appear in bestseller lists, and I often travel to Britain to speak in public about my work. 'I am and will continue to be a committed supporter of Palestine Action. Advertisement 'If… that support is criminalised, I will effectively be prevented from speaking at any future public events in the UK, since I could not in good conscience disguise or lie about my principles in public. 'If I continue to voice support for Palestine Action from my home in Ireland, what are the likely consequences? Will I be denounced publicly by the Prime Minister? 'Will bookshops go on stocking the work of an author the Home Secretary has branded a 'terrorist' simply for supporting a protest group? 'The BBC has adapted two of my books for television; both series are presently promoted on the iPlayer service. Normal People, which I co-wrote and produced, was the BBC's most-streamed series in 2020, with over 62 million views. Advertisement 'My beliefs have not changed since the making of that series, and I have done nothing but continue to express them. 'If the expression of those beliefs becomes a terror offence under UK law, would the BBC continue to screen and promote my work? 'Is it likely that I could ever again collaborate with British public institutions like the BBC as I have done in the past? 'The cultural effects of proscription could not be easily mended, even if the Home Secretary later changed her mind. Advertisement 'For any public figure to be labelled a 'supporter of terrorism' by the state would have serious consequences. If Palestine Action loses its bid to temporarily block the move, it is due to become a terrorist organisation on Saturday after the order was signed by Home Secretary Yvette Cooper. Photo: PA. 'It would likely end or severely restrict the careers of many emerging artists. ''Terrorism' is not a trivial word.' In written submissions for Friday's hearing, Raza Husain KC, for Ms Ammori, said that Rooney 'will continue to voice her support from Ireland' for the group. He said: 'Given her public support for Palestine Action… she is concerned that being labelled a 'supporter of terrorism' would have serious impacts on her ability to collaborate and publicise her work.' He continued: 'Ms Rooney notes that 'countless artists, writers and members of the public support direct action against complicity in what Israel is doing in Palestine', including Juliet Stevenson, Paul Weller, Tilda Swinton, Brian Eno, and other signatories to an open letter dated 30 June 2025.' If Palestine Action loses its bid to temporarily block the move, it is due to become a terrorist organisation on Saturday, after the order was signed by the Home Secretary, Yvette Cooper. Ms Cooper announced plans to proscribe the direct action group last month, after two Voyager planes were damaged at RAF Brize Norton in Oxfordshire on June 20, an action claimed by Palestine Action.
BBC News
an hour ago
- BBC News
Ismail Abdo: Rumba gang leader arrested in Turkey
One of Sweden's most wanted gang leaders, Ismail Abdo, has been arrested in Turkey, the Swedish prosecutor's office said on dual Swedish-Turkish national has an extensive list of drug-related charges against him according to the global police agency, 35-year-old, nicknamed The Strawberry, is a well-known leader of the Rumba crime gang in Sweden. He is accused of orchestrating illegal operations from abroad and has been the subject of an Interpol red notice since last police did not identify him, but confirmed the arrest of a man "suspected of having engaged in serious drug trafficking and inciting serious violent crimes" for many years in Sweden. He was one of 19 people who were arrested during raids in Turkey, where officers seized more than a tonne of drugs, state broadcaster TRT reported. Exactly where the raids took place has not been warrants were issued for a further 21 suspects, of whom 14 were believed to be abroad and three already in custody on other charges. Four are still at large, TRT authorities reportedly seized assets worth around 1.5bn Turkish lira (£27.8m; $38m), including 20 vehicles, bank accounts and 51 real estate violence in Sweden has escalated in recent years, in part because Abdo's former friend, Rawa Majida, is the leader of a rival gang, people have been killed since their deadly turf war began. It entered a new, violent chapter in 2023 when Abdo's mother was murdered in her home in Uppsala, north of the capital, escalation prompted the government to bring in the army to help tackle the surge in gang 2024, Turkish police arrested Abdo during a traffic stop, but released him on bail despite the active Interpol red notice against him - a move which drew criticism from Swedish authorities who were seeking to extradite increase in gang violence that has plagued some of Sweden's biggest cities and spread to quieter suburbs and towns has shattered its reputation as a safe and peaceful year, Sweden's security service, Sapo, accused Iran of recruiting Swedish gang members to carry out attacks on Israeli or Jewish interests. In October, a 13-year-old boy fired shots outside the offices of Israeli tech firm Elbit Systems. Israel's embassies in Sweden and Denmark were also both centre-right governing coalition, which promised to end the gang crime wave when it was elected in 2022, will see Abdo's capture as a win. However the fact that he is also a Turkish citizen could complicate the extradition estimated 14,000 people in Sweden are caught up in criminal gangs, according to a police report last year, and a further 48,000 people are said to be connected to them.
