My best friend died at 11 after telling me to live my life for him

Yahoo

20-06-2025

Ryan Quinn remembers the first time he met Aaron Murphy, the boy who would become his best friend. He was three and it was his first day at nursery.
"After my mum dropped me off, I got very upset. It was the first time that I'd been on my own without her," he said.
"As I turned around to go and find her, Aaron was standing behind me. We became inseparable instantly.
"We were the closest of friends. We had so much in common. We had a love for Minecraft and for Star Wars."
Just months into the friendship between the two boys from Dunfermline, Aaron Murphy was diagnosed with neuroblastoma - a rare form of childhood cancer which develops in nerve tissue and usually affects children under five.
After various treatments, Aaron's cancer entered remission.
But when he was 10, his cancer returned.
He went through further treatment, but there was nothing that could save him.
He died three weeks shy of his 12th birthday.
Ryan was supposed to visit Aaron in hospital that evening but was picked up from school early.
"I was so excited," he said. But the atmosphere in the car on the way home was silent.
"When home, my mum sat down next to me and put her arms around me. 'Aaron's gone, Ryan,' she said."
Losing a close friend at the age of 11 brought unimaginable grief to Ryan.
He was angry at the world and at the disease that took his friend.
"I became very reclusive and very depressed," said Ryan.
"About three months after Aaron passed away, I started high school, which was hard because it was a massive change.
"Suddenly I started this new school where I didn't really know anyone and my best friend wasn't there."
On what would have been Aaron's 18th birthday, Ryan has shared what it was like to lose his childhood friend while they were both children themselves.
Now 17, Ryan wants to turn his grief into a vehicle for change.
"I thought I could put the anger and passion I felt into something - which was campaigning for children's cancer and raising awareness," he told BBC Scotland News.
Aaron's last words to his friend were "Live your life for me, Ryan" and that is what he is trying to do.
He says he is determined to honour his request.
Ryan has undertaken fundraising and lobbying.
Last year he did a sky-dive in memory of Aaron to raise money for a charity called the Team Jak Foundation which provides support for families and friends of people affected by cancer.
It helped Ryan to deal with his grief and he said he wanted to pay them back.
Earlier this year he spoke at the Scottish Labour Party conference.
After that he managed to secure a meeting with Scotland's Health Minister Neil Gray who invited him to the Scottish Parliament to discuss the issues that Ryan is highlighting.
Mr Gray told Ryan he was committed to improving outcomes for children and young people with cancer.
Thoughts turned to Aaron during the meeting.
"I thought, 'What would Aaron think of what I'm doing?'
"There was one empty chair at the table.
"I am confident that Aaron was sat in it, and I hope I did him proud."
June is a hard month for Ryan. As he reaches adulthood, he has lots of questions about what happened to his best friend.
He said " Recently I bought my first car after passing my driving test and the first thought I had when I put the key into the ignition was 'Why do I get to do this and Aaron doesn't?' And I'm constantly reminded of that as we approach Aaron's 18th birthday."
Six years on from Aaron's death, Ryan says he misses his friend more than ever.
"I loved Aaron with my whole heart and I always will," he said.
"Aaron's death inspired me to be a campaigner so that he and the other children and young people who die from cancer each year are never forgotten.
"I want to make sure that Aaron's story gets to the right places and on the right people's desks and I hope that meaningful change will be made."
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