Mana means everything

Otago Daily Times

a day ago

I was talking to one of my work colleagues about "mana" and what it means to me and my whānau and she suggested I write about it in an article, so here we go.
Mana as a word and a concept has become a part of the wider Kiwi experience. It's a word we use domestically and internationally. There are now modern terms such as mana-enhancing and mana-depleting behaviour and it's very much a part of New Zealand fabric.
However, I will talk about it from my perspective. Every family has their own set of values and naturally Tahu's and my values aligned, being Māori, being from the same village, being from the same generation, our values were the same. That doesn't mean we agreed on everything because we didn't, but our values helped us raise our kids and run our household on the same page.
I've talked before about our oldest boy. He was sent to test us, and he certainly did that. He challenged everything. He questioned the universe with existential issues when he was very young and spent a few months giving Tahu and I the sideways glance as he thought he was living in an alter universe and that we were aliens pretending to be his parents. Yes, that actually happened. He got up one morning and decided to put on a Mexican accent, inspired by a 2-dollar shop stick-on moustache and he apparently played that part the entire day at school, much to his teacher's frustration.
Yes, my son wanted to test his teacher. He argued regularly with us about not going to school, and for no real reason, just to argue a point. Honestly, I spent years living with low-end anxiety about what son I was going to get every morning.
So, when it comes to disciplining him, which was a regular occurrence, my husband nailed it most times with one value and that was mana. When I think about it, we talked about mana a lot and what that meant and how important it was to behave with mana, and that mana can be taken from you in the blink of an eye, with bad behaviour. You could take anything off my boy as punishment and it would mean nothing to him, but Tahu would take his mana from him, and that meant something. He would take his mana from him for an extended period and to get it back he had to do good deeds and behave (a tall ask). Taking his mana was crippling for him. Tahu would write up that time and that his mana was gone on a blackboard and write his good deeds as he went and he would constantly ask Tahu, "Pāpā, is my mana back yet?!" It was the only successful discipline tool we had with him, and it spoke to mana meaning everything to him.
My son's ancestor whom he is also named after, HK Taiaroa, was a prolific writer, in te reo Māori and in English. He happened to also be a member of the House of Representatives for Southern Māori in his time and dedicated his life to fighting against the injustices of the Crown on his people. He was indeed a man who was bestowed with mana and his many deeds probably bolstered that notability.
In his many writings he talks of mana in relation to leadership. Obviously we need to put this in context of his time as he was born in the 1830s, but I think his words allow us as Māori to consider the traditional expectations in a modern world. I think about this with my children as there is an expectation on them, like it or not. I have translated HKs words here;
The Māori authority and custom differs from tribe to tribe. However in the case of Ngāi Tahu, the authority and chieftenship is a lore that has been long practised by the leadership of our people ... the people within those geneological lines understand and know who the oldest children are of the paramount chiefs. The descendants of those senior lines shall never be forgotten and the consequential authority. If that is forgotten, the authority and chieftenship of the sub-tribe and the authority over land and other important areas will not be passed on.
HK's words leave me with a slight melancholy and an internal inquiry. Have I done enough as a parent, to school my children to lead? Are they armed with the right knowledge to then pass that on to the following generations? I do lose some sleep over this and particularly because their Dad isn't here to help them on that leadership trajectory.
Nevertheless, circling back to mana. I do think my children understand the power of that value and the reputational risks that can impact on mana. I have done all I can to install the significance of that value within them and it's up to them to behave with mana and treat others in a mana-enhancing way, always.