6 Cheap Ways New Parents Can Baby-Proof Their Homes
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Brands and retailers are well aware that the mortal coils for tots are literal and plentiful. Need to baby-proof an electrical outlet, a cabinet or a sharp-cornered table? There's a product or 10 for each of those things. And they all cost money. A pack of outlet covers? That'll set you back $10. Table corner guards? Another $10. There are tried and true ways to skip the marketing noise and baby-proof your home without buying pricey junk.
Painters Tape On Outlets
Rather than buying outlet covers to apply to every outlet in your home, get some painter's tape (this 3-roll pack of standard blue painter's tape goes for $10 on Amazon) and cover individual outlets with strips of it. It's easy for adults to remove and reapply and may even be more effective than products made specifically for covering outlet plugs, which babies and toddlers sometimes figure out how to remove.
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Pool Noodle Pieces On Table Corners
Once you have a baby or toddler in your home, you start to see how much stuff in your house has edges. Not just tables, but also bookshelves, TV stands, fireplace hearths and sometimes more. Baby-proof dangerous corners by getting a pool noodle (no need to buy a new one if you already have one) by slicing it lengthwise to make a slit and wrapping it around the furniture's edges. It creates a kind of foam bumper.
Rubber Bands Or Hair Ties On Cabinet Handles
This is a favorite ultra-cheap, DIY baby-proofing hack: using rubber bands or hair ties to make cabinets off-limits. All you have to do is tie one around the two cabinet door handles (double-looped is best) to keep the doors closed.
Towels Under Doors
You may have heard of using towels under doors to contain noise, but this hack serves another purpose; you can put a towel under a door to prevent it from slamming or closing on your little one's fingers.
Socks On Door Knobs
You can spend $10 on four door knob protectors, or you can use old socks. By slipping one over a doorknob and securing it with a rubber band or hair tie, you make it so a baby or toddler, who doesn't yet have the muscular control or motor skills to do very precise things with their fingers, can't open the door.
Plastic Wrap Over Toilets
Toddlers — including those who are not yet going through potty training — can develop quite a fascination with toilets. They may want to play with the water inside or throw things in and flush them away. You can buy toilet seat locks, or you can take a little time and DIY a solution. Wrap plastic wrap (Saran wrap is perfect) over the toilet bowl when not in use to keep the toilet lid shut.
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New York Times
2 hours ago
- New York Times
I Thought The Turbie Twist Towel Was a Waste of Money. Then I Had Brain Surgery.
I was watching reruns at my grandma's house when I saw a commercial for the Turbie Twist Microfiber Hair Towel for the first time. It was sometime in the early 2000s, and as a self-conscious preteen just starting to care about my looks, I was immediately captivated by the lightweight, tapered towels and the beautiful women wrapping their hair with them. By the end of the ad, I was convinced that this fitted hair towel was a necessity. When the 'buy now' number flashed at the bottom of the screen, I sat up straight and called out to my mom. 'I need one of those,' I announced with the kind of conviction only a bratty 12-year-old could muster. My mom, used to my antics, just rolled her eyes and said, 'No, you don't, we have towels at home.' I sat with my mom's words, turning them over in my head. She was right. We did have towels at home, and I'd been using them for as long as I could remember to dry my hair after a shower. I decided right then and there that a towel designed specifically for your hair was an unnecessary extravagance, even if this commercial tried to convince me otherwise. For nearly 20 years, I held on staunchly to this belief. Why buy a towel I can only use for my hair when I could easily twist a body towel (that I already own!) into a hair-wringing turban? Then, I had brain surgery, and suddenly the Turbie Twist became something I simply couldn't live without. Designed with a tapered shape and elastic loop for a secure fit, this hair towel is made from quick-drying microfiber that cuts down on frizz, prevents breakage, and stays put without the bulk of a traditional towel. $20 from Amazon (pack of two) If you've used a body towel to wrap up your hair after a shower, you're probably familiar with the process: You have to bend at the waist and flip your head forward so that your damp hair hangs upside down. From there, you place the long edge of the towel at the nape of your neck and twist the fabric around your hair, straighten up, and secure the towel atop your head. After I had brain surgery, flipping my head upside down was a no-go. For the first six weeks after my procedure, I was instructed to keep my head above my heart to reduce swelling and prevent dizzy spells. Without wringing out my locks, my long hair hung heavily down my back after I showered, clinging wetly to my skin. Desperate for a way to keep my sopping wet hair off the back of my neck, I caved and ordered a Turbie Twist. I haven't looked back since. Turbie Twist Microfiber Hair Towels come in a wide range of colors; I chose lilac and seafoam green. Elissa Sanci/NYT Wirecutter The Turbie Twist has a unique, tapered shape that resembles a hood and is closed at both ends, which allows me to capture all of my hair without bending over. To use it, I position the wider end at the base of my neck. I tilt just my head forward so my wet hair hangs freely and gather it into the skinny end of the towel. I twist the towel (and my hair) until it feels snug, then bring the twisted end up and over my head, securing it by threading it through the elastic loop on the wider end of the towel. Elissa Sanci/NYT Wirecutter As an extra precaution, while I still had staples in my head, I wore the Turbie Twist backwards. I didn't want my hair hanging over my staples, afraid that it could potentially get twisted in the metal and irritate the surgery site. So, I positioned the wider end of the towel against my forehead rather than the base of my neck, and twisted the length of my wet hair into the skinny end. Then I brought it up over the back of my head, securing the end in the elastic loop. The correct way to wear the Turbie Twist is pictured on the left; on the right is how I modified it to accommodate my surgery staples. Elissa Sanci/NYT Wirecutter The Turbie Twist is made of microfiber, a highly absorbent material that helps hair dry faster than a regular towel. In fact, microfibers are capable of 'absorbing over seven times their weight in water and they dry in one-third of the time of ordinary fibers,' according to authors S.A. Hosseini Ravandi and Masoumeh Valizadeh in Improving Comfort in Clothing . Soft microfiber cloth is also more gentle on your hair, which reduces breakage and frizz and, more importantly, was crucial for my head's post-surgery tenderness. Even though I've fully recovered from my surgery, I still use my Turbie Twist after every shower — and now that my staples have been removed, I wear it the right way. Before I tried the Turbie Twist, I was convinced that it was no different than the body towels I'd been using for years. After using it every day for six weeks, though, I've realized how delightful it is to dry your hair with a towel designed specifically for that purpose. It's thin and lightweight, which makes it more comfortable to wear, and, unlike the top-heavy turbans I used to twist out of my body towels, it stays in place until I'm ready to remove it. And I've noticed that my hair looks and feels a lot healthier too; it's not as frizzy as it used to be, and it tangles a lot less now. I've even bought a few more Turbie Twist towels to take with me when I travel. Because they dry so quickly, I never have to worry about packing a damp towel in my bag when my vacation comes to a close. I also like to keep one in my swim bag, often wearing it home from the pool after a workout. A standard bath towel turban is double the height of the Turbie Twist turban. Elissa Sanci/NYT Wirecutter The Turbie Twist has been around since the early aughts, and in the years since it first debuted, it's inspired a handful of competitors. Curious to see how other brands compared, I ordered a set of three Hicober hair towels, an affordable option with mostly positive reviews on Amazon. I wasn't impressed when they arrived: Though they were the same shape and length as the Turbie Twist, the Hicober towels were made of a thicker material that took a lot longer to dry. I also found Hicober towels harder to secure; you have to loop the elastic around a button, which requires a lot of fiddling. The Turbie Twist towel (top) and the Hicober hair towel (bottom). Elissa Sanci/NYT Wirecutter The Turbie Twist material (left) is thinner, while the Hicober towel material (right) is fluffier and less absorbent. Elissa Sanci/NYT Wirecutter The Turbie Twist towel (top) and the Hicober hair towel (bottom). Elissa Sanci/NYT Wirecutter If you had asked me a year ago, I would have told you the Turbie Twist is an unnecessary waste of money. And unless you are having brain surgery, it really may not be a necessity. 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New York Times
3 hours ago
- New York Times
The Relationship Advice Couples Counselors Swear By
Every relationship is unique — a delicate ecosystem influenced by partners' pasts, preferences and particular foibles. And yet therapists who spend their days talking to couples say they tend to see and hear the same issues come up again and again: Partners who struggle to reconnect after arguments; lose their sense of levity and play; or fall into patterns, without taking the time to understand them. We reached out to several couples therapists, with that in mind, to ask: What's one piece of advice you find yourself repeating? What's one relationship lesson you swear by? What's one truism you wish more couples understood? Here's what they told us. (Let us know what you think about the advice, and add your own in the comments.) 1. Managing your differences is crucial. Many factors determine whether a partnership is a happy one, but the central task of a relationship is learning to manage differences, according to Anthony Chambers, a psychologist and the chief academic officer of the Family Institute at Northwestern University. Dr. Chambers believes that getting good at managing differences — whether over daily annoyances, or bigger expectations, desires and communication preferences — boils down to three things: flexibility, curiosity and humility. Flexible couples 'approach interactions not with the perspective of trying to prove that they are right and their partner is wrong, but rather with the mind set of realizing there are multiple ways we can address our differences,' Dr. Chambers said, adding that partners 'need to keep in mind that there is a low correlation between being right and being happy!' Couples who are good at managing their inevitable differences tend to experience higher relationship satisfaction, he said. Couples who aren't, struggle. It's not the stuff of Hallmark cards, but it is foundational. 2. Bouncing back is a skill. Couples that argue can still be quite happy and connected if they are good at 'repair,' or reconnecting after conflict, said Lauren Fogel Mersy, a psychologist and sex therapist based in Minnesota, and the author of 'Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships.' Repair is all about processing what happened and coming back from it in healthy, effective ways, she said. Her clients often take for granted that they are good at repair, but it is actually a skill people need to learn. Partners have different ways they like to regroup after a disagreement. For instance, do you generally like to take a cool-down break? Does physical touch tend to help or make things worse? Are your apologies genuine and effective? You and your partner might not necessarily need the same repair, but talking about your preferences in calmer moments can help foster understanding when conflict inevitably arises. 3. Feelings > facts. Proving that you're right might feel like a worthy and satisfying goal in the midst of a disagreement. But couples who get overly focused on facts can easily get stuck in an attack-defend pattern, said Alexandra Solomon, a psychologist in Illinois and the author of 'Loving Bravely.' It ultimately serves the relationship more to try to get curious about what your partner is feeling and why they might be viewing a particular situation so differently from you, she said. 'When we focus on the facts, we are primed for debate, it's me versus you,' Dr. Solomon explained. 'When we focus on the feelings, we're primed for dialogue.' 4. Taking turns is an overlooked skill. Parents and teachers spend a lot of time teaching young children how to take turns during playtime and conversation, but couples often forget that very basic skill, said Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Bozeman, Mont., and the author of 'Secure Love.' It sounds simple, but couples who neglect to take turns have a tendency to start talking over each other, Ms. Menanno said. 'Nobody's being heard. Nobody's listening. Everybody's taking the mic,' she said, adding that couples 'get stuck in whose needs matter more and who gets to hurt the most.' Every couple she works with has to learn or relearn how to take turns, Ms. Menanno said. Some basics: Look to have conversations when you're feeling calm and regulated, listen when your partner is speaking and paraphrase what you heard, asking if they want to elaborate. 5. Sliding and deciding are not the same thing. Galena Rhoades, a psychologist and research professor at the University of Denver and co-author of 'Fighting For Your Marriage' (the fourth edition), often reminds couples that there is a big difference between passively 'sliding' into circumstances — everything from how often you have sex to where you want to live — and proactively deciding what is right for the relationship. Dr. Rhoades has found that understanding the difference can be empowering to couples — a reminder that they can be more deliberate about issues big and small, even if they have been doing things a certain way for years. 'You don't have to stay on that kind of coasting trajectory where you're just sliding through things together,' she said. 'You can change your approach and be more intentional.' 6. Happy couples never stop playing together. Play and laughter can soothe the nervous system, helping you cope with stress and bring your best self to the relationship. Those activities can sometimes fizzle out over time between couples, said Stephen Mitchell, a psychotherapist in Denver and co-author of 'Too Tired to Fight.' 'People underestimate the power of humor in terms of helping couples feel connected and helping them work through challenging moments,' Dr. Mitchell said. He often urges his clients to look diligently for opportunities to have fun together. Small things can suffice: send a silly text, cultivate inside jokes or plan a surprise date. 7. You probably already know what to do. If you can get in touch with your genuine wants and needs, you may find the keys to improving your relationship, though it can take real courage to act on them. Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counselor in Portland, Ore., who runs the popular social media account Therapy Jeff, said that sometimes his job as a therapist is simply to reassure people searching for answers in a relationship that they already know the solution. 'You know if it's working or it's not working,' he said. 'You know what conversations you've been avoiding. You know what you're settling for.' It can help to ask yourself something like: If my best friend or son or daughter was in the situation I'm in now, what advice would I give? (Sometimes, he said, the answer might be: See a couples therapist.) 8. Working on your own stress is a boon for your partner. Going through a rocky stretch in your relationship likely adds stress to your life. But consider the flip side — if you're not managing the stress in your life, it is likely spilling over into your relationship. Elizabeth Earnshaw, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Philadelphia and the author of the book ''Til Stress Do Us Part,' said that when partners don't work to mitigate their own stress, it can cause a relationship disconnect. You become irritable, withdrawn, short with each other. That can lead to more arguments or cause you each to retreat, creating greater emotional distance. Ms. Earnshaw teaches couples a system she calls the stress spillover system. Together, they make a list of stressors, then put them into three baskets: Those they can shed (stressors they can and likely should eliminate), those they can prevent (usually with more planning) and those they can neither avoid nor plan for better, and therefore simply must adapt to. 'When people are mismanaging their stress they are also more likely to become 'self focused,' which means they will think of their own needs and agenda more than their partner's,' she said.
Yahoo
3 hours ago
- Yahoo
14 Reasons Why So Many Kids Turn On Their Parents As Adults
When you're a kid, your parents are like superheroes. They're the ones who bandage your scrapes and cheer you on at school plays. But as you grow up, things can get complicated. You start to see your parents as real people—not just the default authority figures in your life. For many adults, this realization can lead to a strained relationship with their folks. Here are 14 reasons why this happens. 1. Unrealistic Expectations Growing up, you might've felt the weight of your parents' expectations. Perhaps you were pushed toward a career path that didn't match your interests or abilities. This can lead to feelings of resentment, especially if you've spent years trying to meet standards that were never truly yours. According to Dr. John Duffy, a clinical psychologist, parents often unconsciously project their unmet dreams onto their kids, creating a cycle of pressure and disappointment. When you're finally old enough to set your own goals, the clash can be jarring. As an adult, you might feel the urge to rebel against these long-standing expectations. It's common to want to carve out an identity separate from what your parents envisioned for you. This divergence can cause tension, especially if your parents interpret your choices as a rejection of their values. Over time, this disconnect can lead to emotional distance, as conversations often become charged with underlying frustration. By the time you're living your own life, those expectations might be a ghost that haunts family gatherings. 2. Lack Of Emotional Support Everyone needs emotional support, especially from their parents. But sometimes, parents aren't equipped to offer the kind of emotional safety net you need. They might dismiss your feelings or be too wrapped up in their own issues to notice yours. This lack of support can create a significant emotional gap that only grows wider with time. As you become more self-reliant, the absence of this support becomes more apparent and hard to overlook. When you're young, you might not notice this missing element because you assume it's normal. But as you grow older, you start to compare your experiences with those of your peers. You notice the differences and realize what you missed out on. The emotional absence can manifest as resentment or even anger, especially if your parents are still unable to meet those needs in adulthood. This can turn into a major stumbling block in your relationship with them. 3. Differing Values As you grow up, you form your own set of beliefs and values, which can be vastly different from those of your parents. It could be about politics, religion, or lifestyle choices. Dr. Jean Twenge, a psychologist and author, suggests that generational shifts often lead to these kinds of value differences, exacerbated by the rapid pace of societal change. When your values clash with those of your parents, conversations can quickly become awkward or heated. It's like you're speaking different languages, neither fully understanding the other. These differences can make family gatherings feel more like a debate club than a reunion. You might avoid certain topics altogether to keep the peace, but that only leads to superficial interactions. Over time, this avoidance can create a wedge of misunderstanding and distance. If neither side is willing to see the other's perspective, the gap can become insurmountable. This can leave you feeling alienated from the people who were once your closest allies. 4. Parental Control Some parents find it hard to let go, even after their children have grown up. They try to maintain control over their adult children's lives, making decisions for them or offering unsolicited advice. This can feel suffocating, especially if you're trying to establish your own identity. When parents overstep these boundaries, it can lead to a lot of friction. This constant meddling makes you question whether they truly see you as an independent adult. Feeling like you're still being parented as an adult can be frustrating and even patronizing. It diminishes your sense of autonomy and makes you feel like you can't make your own decisions. Over time, these actions can erode the trust you have in your parents, making you hesitant to share aspects of your life with them. The relationship becomes more about control than mutual respect or understanding. This ongoing power struggle can eventually lead you to distance yourself from them. 5. Unresolved Childhood Issues Childhood experiences can leave lasting marks, and unresolved issues from those years often resurface in adulthood. It could be a pattern of favoritism, neglect, or even past trauma. A study published in the Journal of Traumatic Stress found that unresolved childhood trauma often contributes to strained adult relationships, including those with parents. When these old wounds remain unaddressed, they can fester and become bigger than they originally were. You might find yourself avoiding your parents, not out of choice, but as a self-preservation tactic. These unresolved issues can create an emotional void that's difficult to fill. When discussions about the past are avoided, it only adds to the distance. Everyone involved may walk on eggshells, afraid to bring up the past because of the pain associated with it. This avoidance only makes the issues grow larger in your mind, creating more emotional distance. Until these issues are addressed, they will continue to be a barrier in your relationship with your parents. 6. Lack Of Apologies Sometimes, parents have a hard time admitting they were wrong. This could be due to pride, cultural norms, or simply not realizing the impact of their actions. When you've been hurt, an apology can be a powerful step toward healing. The absence of this acknowledgment can leave you feeling invalidated or dismissed. As an adult, this lack of accountability can make you wary of deepening the relationship. No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. But when apologies are absent, it feels like the person responsible doesn't care about your feelings. This can be particularly painful when it involves your parents, who you expect to be your biggest supporters. The lack of an apology keeps the wound open, preventing you from moving forward. Until they recognize and acknowledge their mistakes, it can be difficult to bridge the emotional gap. 7. Communication Breakdown Healthy relationships thrive on open and honest communication. But sometimes, the lines of communication between you and your parents get crossed or even severed. Dr. Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor, has found that family communication styles often differ, causing misunderstandings and frustration. When conversations are fraught with misinterpretations, it can lead to a breakdown in the relationship. The lack of effective communication can make simple interactions feel like a chore. Without open communication, assumptions and misunderstandings pile up. You start to feel like you're not being heard, which can lead to feelings of isolation within your own family. The absence of dialogue can create a vicious cycle where neither side feels understood, leading to even less communication. This emotional distance can be painful, especially if you long for a closer relationship with your parents. Repairing this breakdown requires effort and willingness from both sides to truly listen and understand. 8. Parenting Styles The way you were raised can have a significant impact on how you relate to your parents as an adult. Some parenting styles are more authoritarian, while others are permissive or neglectful. If you felt constricted or unsupported growing up, those feelings might linger into adulthood. These parenting styles shape your perception of your parents and can influence how you interact with them. When you start to raise your own family, these differences become even more apparent. Reflecting on your upbringing often brings mixed emotions. You may appreciate some aspects of your childhood while resenting others. If you felt smothered or ignored, those experiences can cloud your adult interactions with your parents. These deeply ingrained feelings can make it difficult to develop a balanced relationship. As an adult, you might struggle to reconcile these memories with your current experiences. 9. Financial Dependence Money can complicate even the closest of relationships. If you're financially dependent on your parents, it can create an awkward dynamic. This dependency can give them unspoken control over your life, making you feel trapped. On the flip side, if they depend on you financially, it can lead to feelings of resentment or obligation. In either scenario, financial issues often lead to tension. Dealing with financial matters can make family interactions feel transactional. Whether you owe them or they owe you, it creates a sense of imbalance. This can make it difficult to relate to your parents as equals. Discussions about money can quickly become heated, leading to arguments or feelings of inadequacy. Over time, this financial entanglement can overshadow the emotional connection you once had. 10. Unmet Needs As a child, you rely on your parents to meet your basic and emotional needs. When those needs go unmet, it can lead to feelings of neglect or abandonment. As an adult, these unmet needs can manifest as anger or resentment toward your parents. You might feel like you have to fend for yourself, even when you're with them. This can make you wary of closeness, as you may fear repeating past disappointments. As you grow older, you begin to recognize these unmet needs more clearly. You may seek to fulfill them elsewhere, but the lack of fulfillment from your parents still stings. This can lead to a sense of loss and frustration, especially when others seem to have the supportive family you wish you'd had. Over time, these unmet needs can turn into emotional scars that are difficult to heal. Until these issues are addressed, they can continue to be a barrier in your relationship with your parents. 11. Generational Gaps Generational differences can sometimes feel like you're living on separate planets. Technology, social norms, and cultural shifts can create significant divides between you and your parents. These differences can make communication challenging, as it might seem like your parents are out of touch with the modern world. The generational gap can manifest as misunderstandings and frustration on both sides. Bridging this gap requires patience and mutual respect. The world may have drastically changed since your parents were your age, and their experiences may not align with your reality. This can make it difficult for them to relate to your struggles and aspirations. As a result, you might feel misunderstood or dismissed, which can lead to feelings of isolation. Over time, these differences can create a wall of misunderstanding between you. To overcome this, both sides need to make an effort to understand each other's perspectives. 12. Past Conflicts Every family has its share of conflicts and disagreements. But unresolved past conflicts can linger and poison your relationship with your parents. These conflicts might involve sibling rivalries, parental favoritism, or other familial issues. If these conflicts aren't addressed, they can turn into long-standing grudges. This can create a toxic environment that strains your relationship over time. Unresolved conflicts often resurface at family gatherings, bringing tension to the table. Instead of enjoying each other's company, you might find yourself walking on eggshells. This can lead to a cycle of avoidance, where you choose to stay away rather than face unresolved issues. As time passes, this avoidance becomes a habit, making reconciliation even more challenging. The longer these conflicts remain unaddressed, the harder it becomes to mend the relationship. 13. Emotional Abuse Emotional abuse is a serious issue that can have long-lasting effects on your relationship with your parents. Even if it's subtle, the impact can be profound and damaging. You might have endured manipulation, gaslighting, or constant criticism. These experiences can leave deep emotional scars that are difficult to heal. As an adult, you might distance yourself from your parents to protect your mental well-being. The effects of emotional abuse can seep into your adult life, affecting your self-esteem and relationships with others. It's challenging to maintain a healthy relationship with someone who has caused you emotional pain. Even if your parents don't realize the impact of their behavior, it doesn't make the damage any less real. To protect yourself, you may choose to limit contact or cut ties altogether. Healing from emotional abuse requires time, support, and, in many cases, professional help. 14. Changing Family Dynamics As you grow older, family dynamics inevitably change. New relationships, marriages, and children can shift the balance of your family structure. These changes can create tension, especially if your parents struggle to adapt to new roles and relationships. They might feel left out or irrelevant, leading to feelings of resentment or jealousy. Navigating these changes requires open communication and understanding from all parties involved. When family dynamics shift, it can feel like you're trying to find your place in a new puzzle. Your relationship with your parents might be tested as you juggle new responsibilities and priorities. This adjustment can be challenging, especially if your parents have difficulty accepting the new reality. It's important to acknowledge these changes and work together to find a new equilibrium. With time and effort, it's possible to maintain a strong relationship despite shifting family dynamics. Solve the daily Crossword
