After every major break-up, I move to a new city — sometimes, even a new continent. It helps me heal more quickly.
It makes it easier for me to heal from the heartbreak.
I've done this three times, and I'm not about to stop now.
Some people cope with a breakup by starting a new hobby, throwing themselves immediately back into dating, or finally giving in to those BetterHelp ads. Me? I pack up my life and book a one-way flight to a new city, sometimes even a different continent.
It started in 2014 after a brutal three-month run: a breakup, a messy rebound, and getting fired from a brand-new job. I was sitting at home in Johannesburg, doomscrolling on Facebook, when an email came through from an airline offering a deal on flights to Cape Town, South Africa. My interest? Piqued. My credit card? Ready to swipe. My impulse control? At an all-time low.
I booked a flight for the following week and immediately began boxing up my room at my mom's into three small boxes and sending out invites for farewell drinks at my favorite bar. Little did I know, this major life decision I had made in less than 60 seconds would go on to start a pattern of shaking up my surroundings to an extreme after heartbreak. I did it again in 2021, when I left Cape Town for Namibia, and last year, I said bon voyage to South Africa and moved to France.
Is making a major move after a breakup a little dramatic? Absolutely, but there is a method to my madness. Every move forces me to confront the post-breakup identity crisis and answer the million-dollar question: Who am I without anyone else?
Starting over in a new place strips away all the relationship compromises, shared daily routines, and habits. The only thing left is me: my habits, my desires, and my identity beyond another person.
It gives me the space to figure out where I may have been performing in the relationship and identify where I lost myself. The crisis I had where I wondered whether I was changing my mind about having kids? It turns out I was never unsure about having children — I always knew deep down that it wasn't my path. I was just too scared to choose myself and lose my partner in the process.
During my last relationship, I stopped doing all the things I love: DJing, hiking, and going to festivals. It wasn't until it ended and I moved yet again that I realized how much I'd been missing out on when I found myself in Paris at a rave, cheezing so hard my cheeks hurt, asking myself, "How did I forget how much I loved this?"
I believe my heartbreak wanderlust has helped me avoid the trap of using other people as emotional Band-Aids instead of processing the pain and grief after a break-up. My self-imposed exile gives me the space to sit with my emotions without any familiar distractions (after all, you can't call up your roster or ex when you're 7,000 miles away in France). It's a launchpad to a life of independence and self-confidence, where I'm showing myself every day how capable I am without someone else, each time I figure out something new.
That said, should everyone move to a new city after a break-up? If you have a remote career like mine and no responsibilities tying you to a specific location, I'd say go for it. Being in a completely different city soothes the sting of rumination because nothing is familiar.
The first time I moved after a breakup was on impulse. When I realized it was helping me process what had happened and improve my relationship with myself, I got curious and wanted to know why. I learned that when I create new memories and daily habits, I'm training my brain to form new associations that aren't tied to my ex. So when I move, I'm rewiring neural pathways, and I'm spending less energy stuck in a loop replaying the same old story.
But if you can't move cities, plan a solo trip for two weeks. You'll still get to reap the benefits of taking yourself out of the familiar and give your heart and brain the chance to reset and interrupt the emotional ties.
It's an incredible heartbreak cure, and reader, it's probably the greatest gift I've given myself.
Read the original article on Business Insider
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
6 hours ago
- Yahoo
'Tough but Adorable' Baby Elephant Attempts to Charge a Family in South Africa but Takes a Tumble
'Tough but Adorable' Baby Elephant Attempts to Charge a Family in South Africa but Takes a Tumble originally appeared on PetHelpful. A family of tourists visiting Kruger National Park in South Africa gave a very tough (and very adorable) baby elephant an 'A for Effort' when the little one attempted to charge, only to take a tumble instead. ABC News shared a video of the family's encounter, and it's making everybody's day. The tiny but fierce little guy runs at the vehicle the family was in, but trips over his own two (four?) feet! He quickly recovers but doesn't seem to be as interested in showing them who's boss. My heart, this was the cutest thing I've seen in a long time! He was trying to be so big and brave! ABC News' video quickly went viral and has been viewed more than 5 million times, and viewers have left thousands of comments. One viewer garnered 57,000 likes when they joked, "Nah, bro is trying the insurance fraud..." @Briana got 50 thousand likes for her comment, "He got embarrassed!!!" @ agreed, sharing what the baby elephant was probably thinking, "Let's pretend you didn't see that." We chuckled when @pacmanfrog shared, "You're so lucky I fell dude! You have NO idea dude" LOL!" And we laughed when @NikkieRogers added, "The way the momma pushed back the other baby... 'Don't even try it, Bryan.' LOL!"While mom and the other elephants didn't seem to have an issue with the tourists stopping to check them out, this little guy was not happy about was just practicing his big boy skills. explains that when elephants hold their ears out longer than a flap (which is something they do to regulate their body temperature), they are showing you how big they are and warning you of their size. It would be hard to be afraid of this cute little elephant, but not mom right behind him! There are other signs of anger as well. When annoyed, elephants rock on one foot, which may appear as if they're kicking up dust. It's normal for elephants to shake their heads a time or two, but if they continually shake their heads, it is another warning sign, as is holding their tail out stiffly. Trumpeting could also be a sign that they're getting mad about something. If you find yourself in front of an angry elephant, pay attention. Sometimes they mock charge as a warning, in which case you should remain calm and give them more space. If an elephant really charges, run! Run in a zig-zag pattern and try to find something to put in between you and the elephant…a rock, tree, or vehicle, for example. If possible, try to climb the tree or rock to get above the elephant. It sounds scary, but you can avoid these kinds of situations altogether by giving them their space and admiring them from a distance. 'Tough but Adorable' Baby Elephant Attempts to Charge a Family in South Africa but Takes a Tumble first appeared on PetHelpful on Jun 28, 2025 This story was originally reported by PetHelpful on Jun 28, 2025, where it first appeared.
CNET
8 hours ago
- CNET
I Use Apple AirTags to Track Everything From My Luggage to My Keys, and a 4-Pack Is Down to Just $68 for Prime Day
Amazon Prime Day sale: Apple's AirTags are available right now on Amazon for $68 for a four-pack during Amazon's July Prime Day sale event. That brings them down to $17 each, which is close to the lowest price we've seen, but we don't expect this deal to stick around. Not long ago, as I waited at baggage claim after a trip to Paris, I became increasingly nervous as bag after bag dropped onto the carousel, none of them mine. I knew there was no need to panic, though. Back at Charles de Gaulle airport, I had dropped a sophisticated little tracking device into my trusty rolling suitcase before handing it over and heading to my gate. So, I pulled out my iPhone and, with just a few taps, I could see that my bag had never left the City of Light. (Merde!) Over the years, I've come to depend on Apple's AirTags to keep track of many types of easy-to-lose valuables. They're not just good for luggage. I also use them to track wallets, bikes, keys and even my car. I tell everyone who will listen that you can never have too many of these handy devices. Here's how the Apple AirTag (like the one that was in my suitcase on that fateful trip) works. It uses an ingenious method of tracking itself, detecting its location from nearby iPhones and using them to anonymously piggyback the coordinates to a secure server where I could look it up on my iPhone. Until just a few years ago, this would have seemed like a scene straight out of a spy movie. Hey, did you know? CNET Deals texts are free, easy and save you money. Instead of wondering if my belongings were stuck on an abandoned luggage cart or strewn across the tarmac, I could see in almost real time that my suitcase was still chilling at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris. I was able to calmly tell the airline my bag didn't make the flight, and it made arrangements to have it delivered to me a few days later. Apple AirTags are all about peace of mind By itself, an AirTag isn't much. A smooth, round, 1.26-inch puck that looks like a glossy white breath mint, it sinks to the bottom of a bag or dangles from a key chain (with a compatible key ring, sold separately). It's meant to disappear. CNET Activating the AirTag was a simple process of pairing with my iPhone. And then, because it obviously doesn't really do anything out of the box, I forgot about it. But the next time I couldn't find my keys? Sorcery. My iPhone didn't just tell me they were somewhere nearby -- it walked me directly to them, thanks to the AirTag's built-in Ultra Wideband chip. Suddenly, all that time I'd spent retracing my steps and overturning couch cushions in the past felt like ancient history. Now I have AirTags in or attached to every significant item I'd want to keep track of: My everyday laptop bag, my camera backpack, the suitcase I use most when traveling, my key chain, my car and a smaller sling bag I take on walks. I can pull up the Find My app on any of my Apple devices (or sign in to iCloud on any web browser) and see where my items are and the last time the AirTags registered their locations. Clip an AirTag onto a bag or bury it in the depths. Sarah Tew/CNET AirTags aren't just for my everyday items. People I know in the movie business tell me that AirTags are tossed into nearly every bag and Pelican crate, not solely to ensure that the valuable equipment inside doesn't walk away but also to quickly differentiate equipment amid similar-looking containers. Some of my friends also attach AirTags to their pets' collars (though experts say there are better ways to track your pets). AirTags are also useful for things that you want to keep close by Being able to detect my luggage a continent away provided a sense of relief, to be sure. But at the local level, my AirTags will also trigger an alert when I get too far away from them. For example, if I accidentally forget my camera bag in the car when I stop somewhere for lunch, a Find My notification appears telling me I've left it behind. It works the same for newer AirPods models as well. Sharing is now a big part of AirTag tracking My family has two cars, and I wanted to be able to track them both. But it used to be inconvenient to pair the AirTag in the car my wife drives to her iPhone (and the one in my car to my iPhone). To guard against unwanted tracking, an AirTag will notify nearby iPhones of its existence, so whenever I drove my wife's car without her in it, I got a notification that an AirTag was traveling with me. (If the owner is near the AirTag, the alert does not appear.) However, ever since the release of iOS 17, AirTags are shareable, which solves this problem. I shared my AirTag with my wife, and she with me, so regardless of which car I'm driving, I can find it more easily in a crowded parking lot without getting constant, unnecessary alerts. Share an AirTag's location with someone you trust. Screenshots by CNET A more recent feature is the ability to temporarily share an AirTag's location with someone I trust. In my luggage example above, if the suitcase was in the airport with me, but the airport's staff hadn't yet been able to locate it (not uncommon during peak travel times), I could share its location with an attendant who could quickly retrieve it from areas inaccessible to the public. Apple Apple AirTag specs Diameter: 1.26 inches (31.9 mm) 1.26 inches (31.9 mm) Height: 0.31 inches (8 mm) 0.31 inches (8 mm) Weight: 0.39 ounces (11 g) 0.39 ounces (11 g) Splash, water and dust resistance: Rated IP67 (maximum depth of 1 meter up to 30 minutes) Rated IP67 (maximum depth of 1 meter up to 30 minutes) Connectivity: Bluetooth 5.0 Bluetooth 5.0 Battery: Replaceable CR2032 coin cell battery The only minor annoyance about AirTags An AirTag includes Bluetooth, the U1 Ultra Wideband chip and an NFC chip to share basic details when it's in Lost Mode. That's all powered by a CR2032 coin cell battery, which in my experience lasts roughly a year before I need to replace it. I get notified when a battery is starting to get low, although there's no gauge to see how much is left until it goes into the red. And it's easy to change batteries. But my small fleet of AirTags means I need to swap multiple ones each year. I buy them in packs of 20 that I slowly work through. The CR2032 battery in an AirTag can easily be replaced. Patrick Holland/CNET AirTags also make great gifts Apple AirTags consistently appear in our gift guides throughout the year because you can always find another use for one. They're often reduced in price when sold in packs of four. And there's an ever-growing ecosystem of ways to mount them, from sturdy vaults that adhere to a car to discrete fabric holders that will keep your favorite classic bomber jacket from flying away. Whenever I show someone how I use AirTags on a bag or keychain, I kind of wish I had a pocket full of AirTags to hand out because once someone sees how it works, they're sold. When will this deal expire? We don't know how long this deal will last. We saw four-packs available at this discounted price earlier this year, but it could expire at any time without notice. I recommend placing your order while you can be sure to get this price, because I'm confident you'll find new uses for them once you have a few.
%3Amax_bytes(150000)%3Astrip_icc()%2FTAL-bruce-paltrow-gwyneth-paltrow-GWENANDDAD0725-5f55e6cb105849b8b2c82bb419616e1e.jpg&w=3840&q=100)
Travel + Leisure
11 hours ago
- Travel + Leisure
Gwyneth Paltrow Shares the Touching Reason Her Father Took Her to Paris—and How She's Healing Her 'Complicated' Relationship With Italy
The City of Lights is one of the world's most beautiful metropolises, with renowned art and architecture, a vibrant café culture, and awe-inspiring landmarks that have delighted visitors for centuries. Everyone lucky enough to visit is bound to make precious memories there, but for Gwyneth Paltrow, the French capital holds an incredibly personal type of magic. In a recent solo episode of her Goop podcast, Paltrow reflected on the most meaningful destinations she's visited since childhood. 'Travel has been a really integral part of my life,' she shared from a hotel room in Naples, Italy. When she was 10 years old, Paltrow lived with her family in the U.K. while her mother, actress Blythe Danner, worked on a film. On one of the weekends abroad, Paltrow's father, director Bruce Paltrow, took her on a trip to Paris that would stay with her for the rest of her life. "We stayed at the Ritz and he took me to all the museums—all we did was see art everywhere we went,' Paltrow remembered. 'And he let me order French fries for breakfast. And he let me take a walk by myself,' she added. 'I'll never forget that. He let me walk around the Place Vendôme all by myself.' On the plane back to London, Bruce told his daughter the touching reason he'd planned the Parisian getaway. 'He said, 'Do you know why I took you to Paris, just you and me, and mommy and Jake didn't come with us?' And I said, 'No, why?' And he said, 'Because I wanted you to see Paris for the first time with a man who will always love you, no matter what,'" Paltrow shared. 'From that point forward, Paris became a special idea in my head, a place that I returned to many, many times, and that will always intrinsically hold my father's spirit for me,' she continued. 'I never feel very far away from him when I'm there. It was his favorite city in the world.' Naples has also played a major role in Paltrow's life story. Before her 2025 trip, she was last there to film 1999's 'The Talented Mr. Ripley.' During the shoot, she received devastating news about her father and grandfather Arnold Paltrow. ''Ripley' was, in fact, a really tough movie for me. My father and my grandfather were both diagnosed with cancer within six weeks of each other when I was on that film,' she shared. Three years later, her father passed away while on an Italian road trip with Paltrow to celebrate her 30th birthday. Bruce fell ill from complications related to his oral cancer on their way from Tuscany to Portofino. He died in Rome on Oct. 3, 2002. 'This sort of solidified my complicated feelings about Italy. And yet, I've always been so drawn to it,' Paltrow said of her father's death. It wasn't until over 10 years ago that Paltrow returned to the country with now-husband Brad Falchuk and 'started the process of healing' her emotional relationship with Italy. Later in the podcast, Paltrow took a more lighthearted turn and revealed how decades of practice have made her an expert at one coveted travel skill: 'While I'm packing, I literally try on what I'm going to wear every day. I think it all out, I lay it all out—it takes me hours. But then, I have a perfect little suitcase. And I don't underpack, I don't overpack,' she said. 'This is an art I feel I have mastered after years of travel mistakes. I now front-load it with time and attention, and then I have a stress-free trip.'
