Sufi Motiwala on struggles of being queer Muslim: Asked ChatGPT if I am haram

India Today

2 days ago

While being queer remains a challenge in Indian society, it becomes a bigger conflict if your religion is against your sexuality. Content creator Sufi Motiwala spoke exclusively to India Today about walking the tightrope between wanting to stay true to his identity and his personal faith, which questions the very basis of the same identity. Known for his unapologetic presence on screen and off, Motiwala confessed that there are times when he questions himself, but has found peace through his personal connection with God.Getting emotional talking about coming out as a practising Muslim and the struggles that followed, Sufi Motiwala said, "You won't believe, last night I was asking ChatGPT, 'Am I haram? Will Allah ever accept me into Jannah?' The way it spoke about Allah's mercy. I have spoken to maulanas and ustaads. I have memorised the Quran cover to cover, but no one has ever explained Allah's compassion and largeness like that. It made me realise how small we make Allah out to be.'Speaking with deep, tender love for God, Sufi mentioned how his religious beliefs make him focus on love rather than fear and guilt. 'Allah is not some troll on the internet or an angry old man, sitting there waiting to punish homosexuals. He's light, Gafoor-ur-Raheem, mercy in its purest form. It's said he loves us seventy times more than our own mothers, then he will judge me with the goodness in my heart and soul, my actions, and my intentions," he said. View this post on Instagram A post shared by prime video IN (@primevideoin)advertisementDespite being raised in a deeply religious environment, 'The Traitors' contestant shared that he found his own version of his faith over the years, which has also, in turn, brought him closer to Islam than he's ever been: "I don't believe it's all black and white or that simple; we all cherry-pick from scripture in convenience. And not just Islam, every religion has done that; the world is structured to assert dominance and control over whoever is the minority. It's never really about God but power. And I am done with that.'Refusing to follow any checklist and finding his own path, Sufi Motiwala added, "I reject that pressure that I have to be a certain kind of Muslim to feel in touch with my faith. These pathetic people will not define my faith, spirituality, love or my connection with Allah to me. Just like you know yours, I know what my connection is with him."He also touched upon the struggle of finding acceptance from his family. He shared that it wasn't easy, but since it took him years to understand himself, he strongly believes that they, too, should be given the time to process it."People take decades to come to terms with who they really are. So, I strongly believe our families also deserve time. Be it five years or ten, or however long it takes them to unlearn what society has taught them. My family initially was very rough, but I have to give it to them. They were never abusive towards me. Never said, 'We will not give you food' or 'we will not treat you like a normal human being.'"He added, "People forget that someone who doesn't look like you, lives like you or loves like youis still made of the same atoms, the same breath. My parents treated me like a human, and no less than their son. I think that's something many need to learn. You may not be able to relate to your gay children, but you can still love them as your own, and yet take your own time to come to terms with their sexuality.' View this post on Instagram A post shared by prime video IN (@primevideoin)
On a final note, he acknowledged that it's not just society or family that needs reflection, but also the LGBTQ+ community itself.Motiwala explained, "I also berate the people from the community who make their sexuality their whole existence. Like, if you're gay, that doesn't mean you have to walk around half-naked, fighting everyone, or making out on the streets. That's not activism, that's you bringing the community down, and making our struggles seem stupid. Like we are not fighting for making out in front of Jantar Mantar, we are fighting for marriage. We are fighting for blood donation, child adoption, and medical insurance in the companies that we work for. We are fighting for fair pay and basic rights: that's what we are fighting for. We are not fighting for all these stupid things. To the community also, I would also say, stand for bigger things. Do better things in life.'Sufi Motiwala rose to fame by critiquing the fashion looks of celebrities on social media. He was last seen on the Karan Johar-hosted 'The Traitors'. The show was won by Uorfi Javed and Nikita Luther.- Ends