Teachers Are Revealing The Actions That Make Them INSTANTLY Frustrated With A Student's Parents (And Worry For The Kid's Future)

Yahoo

2 days ago

Recently, we asked teachers in the BuzzFeed Community to share ways they wish parents took on a more active role in their child's education.
Here's what they said:
1."Discipline your children so that they can learn in the classroom."
"I once had a kindergarten student who was the worst-behaved child I'd ever met (couldn't handle being told no, couldn't process or overcome his negative emotions without having a meltdown, and bit other children). His parents told me they had never corrected his behavior because they thought that would be the teacher's job to do when he went to kindergarten. I couldn't believe the incompetence."
—anonymous
2."Potty train your child! Second graders should not be pooping their pants daily. Take them to the doctor or I have to report."
—anonymous
3."University admin here. I'd say, I wish parents would empower students to fight their own battles. If a student doesn't get a job on campus, I see parents calling to ask why and for feedback."
"If a student has a roommate disagreement, the parent calls to say that their student needs to move (or that the roommate needs to move). If a student gets a B, the parent calls the admin/professor to argue over the grade. If a student uses ChatGPT for a paper and gets caught, the parent calls to argue that this isn't plagiarism, just a smart way to manage time."
—anonymous
4."BE. A. PARENT. Do NOT expect a phone, tablet, or PS4 to raise your kid for you!"
—anonymous
5."Kindergarten parents who don't reinforce proper letter formation practice at home or even the correct use of scissors to cut with the thumb up are disappointing."
"If you can't help your kid when they're 5, you're definitely doing nothing when they're 15."
—anonymous
6."Give them consequences."
"If they don't do their homework, make them do it. You hold the reins."
—anonymous
7."As a teacher in a suburban area, I wish parents would stop putting their children in every sport possible all year long. Families are maxed out, going from softball to baseball to basketball, spending entire weekends at their children's tournaments."
"Children are exhausted after practices that last past their bedtimes. Unfortunately, all of that time invested takes away from sitting at the dinner table as a family, reading together, and just letting children play and use their imaginations."
—anonymous
8."YOU are their first teachers in life. Children listen to their parents, whether you realize it or not. They pick up on your habits, your words, and your attitude."
"It is often the same students who are so disrespectful to teachers that have parents who equally say things about teachers behind their backs. As a high school math teacher, I am so tired of hearing people say how 'useless' my subjects are. Yes, no one is ever going to ask you on the street how to find the tangent of an acute angle, but it is the problem-solving skills and determination that I'm hoping my students learn. It breaks my heart, knowing that parents are just echoing the same negative thoughts, and they are infiltrating our students' minds.
Parents get frustrated because they don't remember how to do the work, and they pass on these frustrations to students. Parents, you need to be more involved in your children's school lives. You should know if they are struggling with subjects and just relying on AI or other resources. And for the love of everything, stop begging for us to round up or give more extra credit. By the end of the marking period, we have done everything that we possibly can. We are not the enemy. We WANT to see your students succeed. You need to believe us when we call out bad behavior and a poor work ethic."
—anonymous
9."To be clear, I don't believe that these things have happened because the parents don't care (in the majority of cases), but the fact that so many young women have not only shared these experiences but also said things like 'I didn't tell anyone before now because I thought I'd get in trouble/wouldn't be taken seriously/would disappoint my parents' is concerning."
"Parents of girls and young women, make sure to check in with your daughters often about relationships and body image, educate them about signs to look out for in terms of grooming and coercion, and teach them that you will never judge or punish them for disclosing something like this (and be sure to actually follow through on that).
This is especially important for those who live in areas with inadequate or nonexistent sex ed in schools, because you can't fall back on the schools to give them good information about things like meaningful consent and relationship abuse. I know it's awkward and emotionally difficult, but I'm sure you'd prefer to have a daughter who feels comfortable talking to you about these things, able to recognize signs of abuse before it's too late, and have a healthy relationship with her body and self-image than one who suffers in silence for years in order to save YOU some discomfort."
—anonymous
10."I'm an elementary teacher with 17 years of experience. I'm so tired of parents bailing their kids out of everything and getting upset at the teacher when they give consequences. Parents do their child's homework for them, or the children simply don't hand in anything. Kids tell me their parents said they don't have to do it."
"When I call home to discuss an issue (typically a physical altercation), the first thing out of their parents' mouths is 'What did____ do to them?' Or 'What is the other student's punishment?' Ummm, excuse me? How about you hold your own kid accountable?
Not only can I not discuss another student, but I am dealing with it the best way I can. These parents aren't holding their children accountable in any situation, and it's going to backfire on them at some point. I'm terribly concerned for the future of America with these children being raised to feel entitled, that consequences don't apply to them, getting physical at the drop of a hat, and not being able to read or do math because 'their parents said they don't have to.''
—anonymous
11."Put down your phone and model healthy relationships with technology."
"I've seen parents on their phone during performances, presentations, and even student-led conferences. Looking down at your phone while your kid is sharing their life with you is teaching them to devalue human life. Yes, it is this extreme."
—anonymous
12."Brush their teeth. At least half of my class has rotten teeth."
"It's free to go to the dentist in the UK for kids, too, so it totally baffles me. It's becoming one of the top reasons children have time off from school, also."
—anonymous
13."Secondary school teacher (UK version of high school) of 16 years here. Parents need to realise that, statistically, most people are average. Therefore, achieving an average grade is not a negative."
"Almost every parent of every child wants their child to get the top grade in GCSE (awarded to the top 5% of entrants nationally) — that's a lot of children set up with unrealistic pressures and expectations, feeling like failures, and lots of teachers being harassed about why every child in the class is not in the top 5% nationally. Parents need to praise their child's work ethic, resilience, compassion, and personal qualities, and, as long as we all know that the child is trying their best, that's all that should matter."
—anonymous
14."Understand each of their children is unique and shouldn't be compared to siblings."
—anonymous
15."I'm always shocked by the number of parents who don't talk to their children."
"Please, parents, converse with your children. Feed them. Clothe them. Shelter them. Read to them and with them. Listen to them. And yes, help educate them by talking to them."
—anonymous
16."History teacher here! I know most teachers wish that parents would read to their young children more, and while I also wish for that, I sometimes wish that parents would watch more TV and movies with their kids. Media is so important for kids to understand their place in history and understand how the world works, but so many kids don't even watch TV anymore, they just watch TikTok and YouTube."
"As much as it might seem like the lesser option compared to books, so many movies and TV shows these days are quality representations of history. A kid who has watched Oppenheimer and Schindler's List is in a much better position to understand WW2 than a student who is struggling to force themselves to get through a textbook."
—anonymous
17."Monitor what they are watching on TV and on the internet."
—anonymous
18."Teach your kids to own up to their actions."
"The amount of times I've seen someone do something and then they said, 'I didn't do it' is wild."
—hallie rae
19."5th grade math and science teacher and first year working. I wish every day that parents would instill responsibility and ownership in their kids at home so they can bring it to school. If I had a nickel every time a student gave up less than two seconds in problem solving, but then got absolutely destroyed emotionally when they got poor grades, I wouldn't be underpaid."
"There's no resilience or grit, but then they cannot take responsibility because at home their parents never teach them that — I've witnessed parents doing things FOR their kids just so they don't have to experience a challenge. Even further, I've had parents back up their kids and ask, 'Why are you scorching them to do this?' This is destroying the next generation! Also, a big shock is handing the kids class work and them immediately saying, 'I'm not doing this,' and then they don't do it. I would've been in so much trouble for doing this 12 years ago!"
—anonymous
20."Teach your child that no means NO."
—anonymous
21."I'm always shocked by the number of parents who don't talk to their children."
"Please, parents, converse with your children. Feed them. Clothe them. Shelter them. Read to them and with them. Listen to them. And yes, help educate them by talking to them."
—anonymous
22."After 27 years in early child education, I've seen parents allow their child to walk all over them or show them how to be a bully at 3 years old. I've seen parents have zero expectations for their child's behavior, and I've seen parents hold their child back from reaching developmental milestones and age-appropriate socialization, resulting in a child who is bored in the classroom because they are older compared to their peers."
"Children under the age of 5 spend 75% of their day with someone other than a parent (childcare, nanny, or other caregiver), while the first five years are crucial to learning and development because those first five years shape a child's love of learning and are critical to future school success. It takes a village to raise a child, and we can't do it alone. We need you to observe your child the way we do, try to see things from our point of view, and listen to us when we state our concerns. Failure to do this will set your child up for failure."
—anonymous
23."NO social media allowed before age 16, especially TikTok!"
—anonymous
24."Go over their homework with them every night."
"Make sure their assignments are completed, their backpack is organized, and they have the necessary school supplies."
—anonymous
25."Just simply understand that if we are reaching out to you, it is because we need your help. It's not to judge you or your parenting. Actually, the opposite. We know your influence and need your help to guide your child in the right direction."
"You may not like what you are hearing, but you do need to know what your kid is up to when you aren't around, especially if it's not good for them or disrupts the learning environment. Classes are stacked with all kinds of student needs and little to no help, so help us help you raise the future."
—anonymous
26."I'm a counselor so I see things a bit different, but I can't tell you how many calls I've gotten from parents concerned about their child fighting or arguing with their siblings (who go to my school as well and at school are perfectly fine with each other), asking me if I can intervene."
"Will I intervene? Of course, I can try, but if it's happening at home and not at school, you gotta parent at some point. Give your kids consequences for fighting or try to get them to solve their disputes on their own. But please stop insisting that it's my job to fix what's happening at home. Because at school, you really couldn't tell they were fighting."
—anonymous
27."Drop them off on time (within reason, of course. If your child has a doctor's appointment, a family event, etc, everyone understands!) so that they can start the day with the rest of their class."
"Have rules and structure at home. Don't fight us when we suggest getting your child evaluated. We just want to help them succeed. Also, don't assume that your child is some genius that the teachers don't understand. We see all types of kids and know what's going on. If we suggest redshirting your child for another year, especially in preschool, DON'T FIGHT US. We see your child every day for many hours. Between your job and the nanny, you may not see your kid that much."
—anonymous
28."Check the backpack, read the emails, and add the events to your calendar at the beginning of the year."
"Don't only schedule but ATTEND parent/teacher conferences, and for God's sake, take away the f&$king phone if they can't rip themselves away from it."
—anonymous
29.And finally, "The simplest thing you can do is be there for your children."
"We had a donuts with dudes event one morning, and four kids in the school system were waiting for their father. This guy had to get several calls from multiple of his kids before he even got there. He showed up late to crying children when he lived less than five minutes away from the school. When a first-year teacher of a special class has to comfort your kids because dad didn't show up, that should never have to happen to anyone."
—anonymous
Now we want to hear from you. Teachers, tell us how you wish parents got more involved in their child's education in the comments. Or, if you'd like to remain anonymous, use the Google form below. Your response could be featured in an upcoming post.