5 habits that are making you a worse leader

Fast Company

6 days ago

Being an effective leader requires a matrix of skills and abilities working in tandem. The ability to foster hope, cultivate trust, and motivate people to action can make a difference in its ability function effectively and retain employees— 80% of employees responded that they'd stay in a job because they have a manager they trust.
And no small part of the ability to lead is executive or leadership presence. A well-publicized study by Coqual (formerly the Center for Talent Innovation) found 'executive presence'—looking and acting the part of a leader—makes up 26% of what it takes to ascend to top jobs.
'If I was to boil everything down, the two fundamental core principles of good, successful, solid leadership is strong and unquestionable authenticity and trust,' says executive and leadership development coach Serena Palmer. However, there are some common behaviors and habits that undermine those leadership essentials. Palmer and other experts say being aware of them is the first step to correcting them.
Shifting from 'me' to 'we'
Some leaders—especially those who are new to their roles and may be feeling insecure—have trouble shifting from individual contributors who need to toot their own horns to get ahead to being a leader and responsible for a team's performance, says leadership expert and coach Emily Walton. This can take a few forms, she says, including emphasizing your own importance in a situation, micromanaging, and failing to give credit to others for the team's success, she adds.
'Sometimes, people will take these actions because they might be feeling insecure about themselves in their role or [about] their contributions,' she says. 'When you shift into leadership, it's a 'we' thing, and you want to do that because it strengthens your network, and it also strengthens the trust that people have in you: that you're going to speak up for them, whether they're in the room or not, and that you're honest and authentic.'
Avoiding the tough parts
The Coqual survey found that 'gravitas' was the number 1 factor in leadership presence, according to 67% of respondents. Key components of gravitas include exuding confidence, showing grace under pressure, and speaking the truth, even when it's difficult.
One of the quickest ways to erode the trust of your team, Watson says, is people-pleasing, especially when it comes to making tough decisions and standing up for your team. 'If you're constantly trying to please everyone else, it's going to frustrate your team, and it's also going to frustrate your colleagues, because they're not going to know where you stand, and you're no longer dependable,' she says.
Another version of this behavior Palmer calls, 'don't shoot the messenger.' In other words, when difficult decisions are made or bad news surfaces, the leader abdicates responsibility for the decision or news, saying it was someone else's to make, she says. In other cases, the leader just avoids making a decision, such as allowing bad behavior on a team to continue rather than addressing it head-on. Both 'undermine authenticity of the leader, and again, you will lose people that way,' she says.
Being busy without impact
Wearing 'busyness' as a badge of honor without making a significant impact is another action that will erode the trust and confidence of teams in their leaders, says personal branding expert Nicole Hart. When someone is proclaiming how busy they are and the results of that work aren't evident, 'the people around you or your superiors are going to be like, 'Oh, I don't have the faith that I can put more on their plate,' she says. 'And so, it kind of decreases faith for leaders when I think people are actually trying to do the opposite.'
Hart adds that insecure leaders may do this to this to try to solidify their place as 'necessary' to a company or organization. However, effective leaders know how to prioritize where their efforts are best devoted.
Spewing negativity
Chronic negativity can also wear on a leader's presence, Hart says. Bringing up negative personal issues when they're not relevant, being cruel or overly negative when giving feedback, and even being negative about your own ideas as you pitch them, all damage credibility and relationships with the team. 'Leadership requires vision. Vision requires the ability to see untapped, positive opportunity. Negative leaders can't inspire innovation or loyalty,' Hart says.
Avoiding vulnerability
Walton says that communication issues like being a know-it-all and an inability to apologize can also undermine leadership presence. Similarly, an inability to show vulnerability can do the same, says Palmer. 'By not doing that, you don't give permission for people in your team to be able to have a safe space to share whatever it is that they're having difficulties with,' she says.
Leaders who feel like they may be undermining their own leadership presence should try to get to the root of why trust is being lost, Walton says. Own up to it and then, 'outline what you're going to do differently and then actually do it,' she says. 'Otherwise, it's just lip service, and that's not going to change how people feel.'