‘Team Conrad' Or ‘Team Jeremiah'? Your Choice Might Reflect Your Relationship Style

Refinery29

7 days ago

The Summer I Turned Pretty has completely overtaken my TikTok feed, with countless people arguing over who the main character Isabel 'Belly' Conklin (Lola Tung) should end up with. If you haven't seen the show, the nostalgic teen drama centres around Belly and her dramatic love triangle. It's a bit complicated, because she's trying to choose between brothers: Conrad Fisher (Christopher Briney) and Jeremiah Fisher (Gavin Casalegno). They also happen to be lifelong family friends, and spend every summer together. Is it a recipe for disaster? Absolutely. But does it make for binge-worthy TV? You bet.
The series, based on Jenny Han's books of the same name, has captured the attention of all age groups. Case in point: I'm a millennial who has been married for 11 years, yet I'm incredibly invested in what happens to these characters. There's something comforting about being transported back to summer, where you no longer have to worry about bills, the state of the world, or finding a place to live. However, being so removed from that part of my life where I was discovering love for the first time makes me view the show through a different lens. I started to get curious about whether my age, stage in life or what I value in relationships had anything to do with my opinion. With this in mind, I spoke to multiple experts about relationship styles, how watching relationships on TV can affect young people, and what being Team Conrad or Team Jeremiah could say about your relationship habits.
If you need a quick refresher before The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 3, let me give you the basics. Conrad is the eldest of the two Fisher brothers, and he's your typical broody and mysterious heartthrob. Belly had a crush on Conrad her entire life, and everybody knew it. Jeremiah has always been one of Belly's best friends, and he's much more outgoing and tends to value communication. During Season 1, Belly kissed both of the brothers before deciding to pursue a relationship with Conrad, crushing Jeremiah. In Season 2, we found out that Conrad broke Belly's heart after he withdrew when his mother was dying from cancer, and she eventually reconnected with Jeremiah. We'll see which brother Belly chooses when The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 3 drops on July 16.
Dr Joyce Yu, Co-Founder and Chief Strategy Officer at Consent Labs tells Refinery29 Australia it's important not to assume what you see on screen is 'normal or okay'. As we know, there are many unhealthy relationships that become romanticised on screen (we're looking at you, Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass), so we should all approach TV with critical thinking.
'It's completely okay to enjoy media and TV shows, because they're often designed for escapism. But the key is being able to engage critically too: asking yourself whether what's portrayed reflects a healthy relationship in real life,' Yu says. 'One way to assess whether a relationship on screen is healthy is by assessing the power dynamics. Check whether there are elements that give someone more power. This could be their age, position in the workplace or social hierarchy, or professional role.'
Yu also warns that 'respectful communication and consent' is key, and says TV shows often can portray jealousy as love. One easy way to test if a relationship you're invested in is healthy is to ask a simple question: 'If this scenario happened in real life to my friend, would I think it was healthy or problematic?'
Team Conrad
Psychologist Carly Dober tells Refinery29 Australia that those who are firmly in the Team Conrad camp could simply be attracted to him physically (hello, it's Christopher Briney), or that you could enjoy the 'bad boy archetype' or the 'push and pull dynamic'.
'This might mean that this kind of relationship is more of what you're looking for [or] it might mean that this feels familiar to you,' she explains. Conrad tends to be unpredictable — from leaving Belly in tears at prom to calling her a 'brat' and a 'mistake' — which feels cruel, but in the real world, can be familiar to many people. Those feelings of 'butterflies' that you can get in your stomach when you're in a relationship? They're not always a good sign.
'Unpredictability can cause anxiety, which can cause the sensation of butterflies in your stomach. This can be misattributed to excitement and novelty, whereas for most healthy and sustaining relationships, there will be clear communication and expectations, and that sensation will dissipate as you get to know and trust one another,' Dober says.
Being Team Connie also doesn't necessarily mean you want this type of relationship in your own life, but perhaps you're craving something completely different from what you usually experience. TV is a great way to rot on the couch and tune out for a while, after all! '[Viewers] might just be enjoying the drama as an escape from their own lives. We often find that if people are questioned about how much they would like to be in a relationship like the one on screen, they would not want to at all,' Dober says.
Team Jeremiah
If you're Team Jeremiah, Dober says you may be 'attracted to stability and dependability', and he ticks the boxes for what you're looking for. 'It might mean that you admire his personal traits or how he talks to people on the show. It might mean that you're attracted to this kind of person anyway… or are interested in these traits in future partners,' Dober says.
There's also a possibility you have been 'burned' in a relationship before, and recognise it's time to try something new. 'People might come to find familiarity with the volatility of some relationships. This doesn't mean that they want this or like this, it just might be the only thing that they understand. For many people, being 'burned' will encourage them to find something different,' she explains.
Some viewers may root for a character demonstrating 'stability and dependability' because they're at a different stage of their life, and their priorities around long-term commitment have changed. Dober says this comes as a result of maturity and knowing "what it takes to have a sustaining and healthy relationship work". While she says the show is obviously entertainment, it can also reflect what people "are looking for in that stage of their lives, too".
There are arguments for both Team Conrad and Team Jeremiah, and if you wade into fan debates online, you'll quickly realise how passionate everybody can be. Your views can be coloured by past relationships, what you're looking for in your personal life, or maybe you're just attracted to the actors playing the characters on screen. Perhaps being Team Conrad or Team Jeremiah isn't so black and white as I first thought.