Mother and friend of teenage drowning victim urge people to stay safe in the sea

Leader Live

30-06-2025

Joe Abbess, from Southampton, Hampshire, and Sunnah Khan, from High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, drowned during the incident at the Dorset seaside resort on May 31 2023.
Now, the mother of the 17-year-old trainee chef, Vanessa Abbess, has issued a warning that anyone could be caught out like her son, who was a regular gym-goer.
She said: 'Joe was incredibly loved by his family and friends, and I feel it is so important to tell his story. He was being so sensible and safe. He was healthy. He was strong. He could swim.
'It is so shocking that Joe died and shows you're never entirely safe in the sea – but there are ways to reduce the risk, which we want everyone to know.'
She added: 'Even two years on, the world doesn't feel quite right because there's a great big Joe-shaped hole in our lives. Joe is, and will always be, loved and very missed every day.
'We live on an island; people should know the dangers. You wouldn't cross the road without thinking about it – don't enter the sea without thinking about it. You need to think, what could happen? What do I do in an emergency?
'Joe was a very caring young man – he would want people to know what happened that tragic day.
'And if by telling his story I can prevent this heartbreak happening to another family, that has got to be a benefit, in a strange way, because it's absolutely awful to lose somebody you love like this.'
His friend, Joe Green, 19, said: 'It 100% has affected my life. I mean, you just never think this would happen to your best friend.
'I miss him loads. Somehow, after more than two years, it still doesn't feel real. It still feels like he's going to come into my life whenever I turn a corner.
'I think he'd be very proud. I think he'd be very happy that I'm doing this for him, and his mum is doing this for him, because we just want to get the message across that this can happen to anyone.'
The pair have backed safety tips issued by the Coastguard to choose a lifeguarded beach and to swim between the flags and to go into the sea with a buddy.
They also advise that in a rip current to not struggle but instead 'float to live' by floating with head back and ears submerged.
They also urge people to call 999 and ask for the Coastguard if they see an emergency by the coast.
James Instance, Coastguard divisional commander, said: 'Vanessa and Joe have shown real bravery in reliving their loss to highlight hidden risks at the beach and how you can stay safe.
'As we approach the summer holidays and our seaside gets busier, it's a perfect time to remind everyone of a few simple tips to ensure your fun trip ends with good memories.'
Earlier this month, Darren Paffey, Labour MP for Southampton Itchen, spoke in the Commons, calling on the Government to increase swimming safety in schools and highlighting that 150 children had lost their lives to drowning in the past three years.
He said that just 74% of children leave school with the ability to swim 25 metres, and those from the most deprived areas are twice as likely to drown.
Dorset coroner Rachael Griffin also wrote to the Education Secretary calling for better water safety for children following the inquests into the deaths of Joe and Sunnah.
Responding to the debate in Parliament, education minister Catherine McKinnell said: 'Data from Sport England's active life survey reported in 2024 that 95.2% of state primary schools surveyed reported that they do provide swimming lessons, and we do want all pupils to have the opportunity to learn to swim.'
She added: 'We are working to ensure that teaching pupils the water safety code at primary and secondary school will feature in our new RSHE (relationships, sex and health education) statutory guidance, which will be published shortly.'