Melinda Gates shares shock details about what happened 'outside' of her marriage to Bill that led to divorce
In a recent interview on the How to Fail with Elizabeth Day podcast, Gates spoke candidly about the moment she realized her marriage with Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates had come to an end.
The two had been together for nearly three decades, building not only a family but one of the most powerful philanthropic foundations in the world.
'When that voice would come - and it would come at different times because of things that had happened outside the marriage that I would later come to learn about - I kept pushing it away,' Melinda said.
She explained that she felt immense pressure to maintain the relationship, not just for herself but for their three children and their joint work at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.
Gates said she initially ignored her instincts for years, burying them under the weight of motherhood, global responsibility, and a shared legacy.
'We had a foundation and that was big and I believed in that work.
'I still believe in the work of the foundation,' she said.
But eventually, she explained that her inner voice became too loud to silence.
'At some point I had to turn towards it, and I just knew it and I knew it in my soul,' Melinda said.
She emphasized that the process of arriving at that decision was not quick or easy.
'I took marriage - and I still do - very, very seriously and it wasn't just two of us involved, it was five of us,' she said, referencing their children.
The couple announced their divorce in 2021, stating that while they could no longer 'grow together as a couple,' they would continue working together on their philanthropic efforts.
Shortly afterward, reports surfaced that Bill, now 69, had allegedly had an affair with a Microsoft employee years earlier, something that allegedly contributed to the erosion of trust in the marriage.
Melinda has not confirmed the exact timeline of when she learned about the rumors, but she did tell CBS Mornings in 2022 that 'I certainly believe in forgiveness.
'So I thought we had worked through some of that.'
She explained that stepping away from the marriage required serious introspection and solitude.
'I had to take time, quiet time with myself, time to ask myself, well, "Why am I staying? What would it be like if I left?"' she said.
Bill Gates previously responded to allegations of an extramarital affair on the first anniversary of the joint announcement that he and Melinda were getting divorced.
'I certainly made mistakes, and I take responsibility,' he told Today when asked if he was ever unfaithful.
'The divorce is definitely a sad thing. I have responsibility for causing a lot of pain to my family. It was a tough year. I feel good that all of us are moving forward now.'
Despite the pain, Gates said she still believes in love and partnership.
'It's two people who've come together, hopefully in love - and in my case I would definitely say that - so then the pulling it apart later is really hard,' she said.
The former couple has continued to collaborate professionally since the divorce, most recently working on issues related to gender equality and global health.
Still, Gates has carved out her own identity as a philanthropist and advocate, increasingly using her platform to speak on women's empowerment and reproductive rights.
In her memoir The Moment of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes the World, she hinted at the emotional weight she carried for years in her marriage, writing that she often felt unheard and invisible in meetings and in her personal life.
Now, Gates appears to be more attuned to her own voice - one she admits she ignored for too long.
'When you have an inner knowing... it is really important to listen to it and to follow it,' she said.
While she acknowledged the pain of divorce, she also validated the experience of others going through it, regardless of the circumstances.
'It doesn't matter who it is,' she said. 'It's a very painful thing to go through.'
With her children grown and her foundation work evolving, Gates continues to reflect on what it means to live a life guided not by obligation, but by authenticity.
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