Dear Abby: I overheard my brother fighting with his wife — should I say something?
It was an argument, which lasted two minutes before there was a pause in the conversation and he hung up.
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I haven't addressed it with him yet because I am shocked at my sister-in-law's behavior during this conversation, and the way she treats my brother.
I have known for a while that she blames others for situations she should share the blame in, but I had never heard her in a private conversation until this voicemail.
My brother must know those two minutes live on my phone, although we haven't spoken about it. I want to talk with him and tell him that I heard what she said.
I'd like him to know I hope she treats him with respect, and that she sounds ungrateful for all the hard work he puts in at his job in their one-income household with two children. How should I handle this? — OVERHEARD IN CALIFORNIA
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DEAR OVERHEARD: Talk to your brother and express that the fight between him and his wife was partially recorded on your phone.
Then tell him you don't mean to pry, but think he and his wife could benefit from marital counseling if they are both willing. (I hope he will listen and have some sessions, even if his wife refuses.)
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DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are retired. He sits in his recliner chair all day, every day. He says he is 'studying his Bible' or watching YouTube videos.
He also sleeps 12 to 14 hours after he goes to bed around 8 p.m. most nights.
This has been going on for at least a year, and I am SICK of it. I want a companion to do things with.
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Nothing I have done or said motivates him to get up and move. Since I am not willing to accept this lifestyle for myself, I take classes at the Y three to five times a week, go to lunch with friends, read and attend our neighborhood book club, paint and do crafts, and talk with or email friends.
Most nights, I watch TV upstairs by myself. I may as well be single! Any suggestions? — UNCOUPLED IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR UNCOUPLED: Get that husband of yours to his doctor for a thorough physical and neurological examination. People of every age need some form of exercise. When people who weren't sedentary spend all day, every day sitting, it is dangerous to their health.
Your husband could suffer from any number of ailments, including depression. Making sure he has been checked out could be life changing not only for him but also for you.
DEAR ABBY: When the hostess offers you leftovers after a nice meal, how much should you take? — WONDERING IN THE SOUTH
DEAR WONDERING: Don't be greedy. Leave enough food for other guests to take some home if they wish, and don't forget to do the same for your hostess.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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USA Today
10 hours ago
- USA Today
What to know about Camp Mystic, as death toll from girls' camp reaches 27
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New York Post
15 hours ago
- New York Post
Teen camp counselors describe harrowing moment they wrote girls' names on their bodies in case they were swept away in floodwaters
Two teenage camp counselors have recalled the harrowing moment they wrote the names of the young girls they were caring for on their bodies in case they were swept away in the raging Texas floodwaters. Silvana Garza and Maria Paula said they desperately put on a 'happy face' to keep the children calm as they prepared to evacuate a branch of Camp Mystic neighboring the one where at least five girls were killed and 11 are still missing. 'Us as counselors, we started to write our names on our skin, anywhere that was visible,' Paula Told Mexican news outlet NMas in a Spanish-language interview on Sunday. Advertisement 4 Counselors Silvana Garza and Maria Paula describe the moments they prepared to evacuate as raging flood waters rose around them. NMas/YouTube 4 Bystanders survey the damage at Camp Mystic. DUSTIN SAFRANEK/EPA/Shutterstock 'We did the same for the girls, wrote their names anywhere that was easy to see,' she added. Survivors of the neighboring private all-girls summer camp — where at least five girls are confirmed dead and another 11 remain missing — flocked to to the location where Garza and Paula worked as the Guadalupe River swelled. Advertisement 4 Furnitures lie scattered inside a cabin at Camp Mystic after deadly flooding. REUTERS As news poured in of the horror nearby, the pair said they were told to 'put on a happy face' to not scare the younger girls. 'At the time, we started to prepare our girls because we thought we were also going to be evacuated,' Garza told the outlet. 4 Stuffed animals on the windowsill of a cabin at Camp Mystic. REUTERS Advertisement 'We told them to pack a bag, to pack their favorite stuffed animal. We didn't know if we were going to be evacuated or not. We were just waiting.' At least 82 people have been killed in the historic floods — with dozens more people missing and the number of those killed only expected to rise.
Buzz Feed
a day ago
- Buzz Feed
'Unskilled' Jobs That Actually Require A Ton Of Skill
There are careers that are often overlooked, most often the ones that are considered "unskilled." In technical terms, that just means it's a role where extensive prior knowledge isn't required and training can usually be done within a short period, often a month or less. But the fact is that an incredible amount of skill, patience, and thought still goes into performing these roles! In r/AskReddit when someone asked, "What 'unskilled' job requires a ridiculous amount of skill?" it was an eye-opening conversation. Here's what people had to say: "I work in a small production facility, and our assembly positions are considered 'unskilled,' as you could walk in off the street and within a shift be competent at the job. I'm a manager and I can basically do everything, but I have a production guy who can easily assemble three times faster than me while also taking breaks, watching YouTube, etc. He earns a handsome performance bonus every month." "Waffle House has you learning a "Magic Marker" system where you put jelly, ketchup/mustard/mayo packets, tomatoes, pickles, cheese, bits of hash brown and random other food items at various positions on a plate (and sometimes upside down) to mark what's supposed to go on it. I think this started as a workaround to be able to hire people who couldn't read, but honestly, this system is probably harder than just teaching people to read." — Boco"That's one of the most unhinged things I've ever seen in my life."— symbolising"It seems silly but it's easier than teaching staff to read, and allows for instant recognition of what is ordered even from a distance."— Infamous-Cash9165/ "Cleaning. You have to know a lot about a lot of different things to clean properly." "Anything public-facing. Dealing with the general public requires a lot of patience and mental fortitude." — RedBeardedTallGuy "Receptionist. It's a juggling act, and you must be able to multitask. A good receptionist will make it look effortless. A bad one will have everyone pissed off." "I co-own a medical clinic in the US, and people think that the front desk job is unskilled. But this person is checking in ~50 people per day, answering phones, scheduling patients (which is a balancing act in so many ways, not as easy as 'it's open here, I'll put it here'), collecting payments, verifying insurance benefits, explaining insurance benefits (we accept more than a dozen insurances). This person has to have a decent amount of knowledge in the generalizations of how each company handles our specialty, and then be able to read a benefit document, synthesize the information, and be able to relay it to someone with a seventh grade reading level (the average in the US)." "You don't just show up to a construction site as an unskilled laborer and start thriving, especially without any experience. And being physically strong doesn't automatically mean anything, either. I remember being a teenager and watching this high school football player join our crew. The dude was twice my size, but he was winded in no time. That's when I learned there are different kinds of strength, and more importantly, being smart on the job will outwork brute strength every time." "I didn't have a six pack or anything, but I knew how to grab the cinderblocks and move them. He saw us moving two at a time, one in each hand, and he thinks because he's bigger, he'll grab four. It didn't work out, and he looked silly."— brokenmessiah"In the gym, you train your muscles to fatigue, while working needs you not to fatigue your muscles."— Possible_Trouble_449 "Almost anything in agriculture. There's no training or degrees required, but it's a difficult industry to survive in. There are very slim margins, extreme volatility, and it requires a very diverse skill set. Those skills include veterinary, fabrication, accounting, mechanics, agronomy, bacteriology, human resources, counseling, and business management, among others. When loads of feed are coming in the driveway at $5k a pop, the weather is conspiring against you, and tractors are parked because of $3k parts costs, it's easy to wonder why we do this just to earn the equivalent of a mediocre wage anywhere else." — jckipps"The weather conspiring against farmers is bad enough, but John Deere and the like conspiring against them on repairs is even worse."— Keyann "Keep in mind that 'unskilled' doesn't mean anyone can walk in off the street and do it. It means up to a month of training is necessary. 'Skilled' means over six months is needed." "There are no unskilled jobs, only unskilled people. Hell, most people don't know how to shovel dirt in an efficient way that won't destroy their body." "Drywall. A proper job from hanging to texture is super physically demanding. Plus, if you're doing a level five finish, it's incredibly difficult and takes tons of experience and skill to get flawless, flat, even walls while also having sharp, crisp corners. It gets even wilder when people want smooth walls. IMO, people don't realize how much skill it takes to do well, and it's super undervalued. There are lots of shitty ones, but every time I get to paint behind a skilled one, it's awesome." — jizzbooger "Home health aide. They have a lot of knowledge, like what to do when the patient has a seizure or stroke, and a lot of skill. Moving another human around for a bath or wound dressing is no joke. Also, dealing with dementia." "I'm going to say anything in food, especially at rush hour." — Possible-Okra7527"I've worked a lot of jobs, including many cushy office jobs, but the hardest job I've ever worked was my 5:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Panera Bread job. I wasn't even cooking. It was just breakneck and exhausting with a ton of silly details. Fuck that. They even had those windows into the kitchen so customers would walk up and bitch at you. I also never had bosses treat me like that in any other job. So dehumanizing. Just the worst."— coral225 "Bartending. 'AnYoNE cAn bArTend.' No, no. In fact, I have watched hundreds not be able to hack it." "Starbucks." "I worked at a Starbucks that always had a line out the door in college. We rarely had more than two people working a shift, so one person was on the register, and the other was doing everything else. I really loved being the 'everything else' person because you just had to lock in, and the shift would fly by. But it required (1) an excellent memory and (2) advanced multitasking skills."— GlumDistribution7036 "A guy playing one of the 'non-skilled' positions in the NFL." "Waiting tables." "Car detailing." "Window washing." — Entire_Teaching1989 "Disability support work. It's personal care, medications, and incredibly individualized behavior management. Often, you're dealing with violent people, but all you get are some reports and schedules, and off you go. All for pretty shit money because nobody wants to do it. Also, HUGE personal liability if you don't follow all those reports!" "I've never done this, but being an actually good line cook is pretty difficult, I think. It's still considered fairly unskilled labor. But like, imagine having to cook at a Denny's. I can make eggs five different ways, but can I do that for five or 10 different people, quickly and properly, while also preparing other food, and then do that for 8-12 hours? I could not. I would make a better server, but I wouldn't be a very good server either." "Piano mover. It requires outstanding fitness, spatial awareness, and technical knowledge. Three people maneuvering a 400 kg grand piano up a narrow stairway requires extraordinary coordination and teamwork. It's something else. Figuring out how to get it in when there's no obvious way needs some real brain power." "Sometimes, they have to dismantle and brace structural walls to widen window spaces or take apart doors, windows, frames, and dry walls. It's also rather dangerous. Easy to get stress injuries with a bit of possible death and amputation sprinkled in if you ever lose it on the slope. I mean, it depends on what you mean by skilled. If you mean no certificate required, I guess this qualifies, but obviously, you can't just walk in off the street and do this alone. Experience is your skill."— [Deleted] "I work as a stagehand. We build live theatrical shows and also work backstage, moving scenery, etc. It's considered unskilled. But realistically, you need excellent memory, the ability to work independently and in a team, physical coordination, and a healthy level of problem-solving. Most of the best stagehands are also carpenters, which is usually picked up on the job. We climb, we assemble automation, we build, we paint, and we do it all quickly and efficiently. It's unskilled labor, yet some of us are literally flown around the world to install shows or teach show plots. Sometimes, I'm flown around the country just to direct how to pack a truck." "That being said, some people never ever really pick it up and never understand why they don't get work."— BackstageTurtle "Call centers. Keeping calm while being screamed at through a headset all day." — eLlllsyyyyy "Being a professional juggler at a circus is labeled unskilled because it's just throwing stuff around, but try keeping five flaming torches in the air while riding a unicycle!" "Being great at any physical activity. Digging (especially concrete underpinning), livestock work, meat boning, slicing in abattoirs, and metalworking. Some types of arborists, welding factory workers, cranes, excavators, and sales. People who do unskilled jobs are often highly intelligent, but are dyslexic or have ADHD, find offices boring and school dull, or didn't have options. Manual and situational intelligence is just not as valued currently." — Brilliant_Ad2120 "House painting. Yeah, yeah, I can hear you saying, 'Just buy some rollers and a paint bucket.' While it's true that it's easy to apply paint to a surface, it requires a ridiculous amount of skill to do it properly and cleanly. If you don't know what you're doing, you'll end up with paint everywhere and will probably spend more time cleaning paint drips than actually painting." "Army/military in general. The general perception is that anyone can pick up a rifle and be a soldier. The reality is that it's a highly skilled job that requires a ton of instruction backed up by mind-numbing repetition in training to do well." — ksuwildkat These skill sets are way too underrated! What do you think? Any specialties to add? Let us know in the comments!
