
'It destroyed my life': The drug addiction leaving users in chronic pain
It was the start of a night out and she didn't want to drink. So instead, she picked up the bag of white powder she found in her friend's car. It was a decision that had life-altering consequences.
"I tried it and remember having it and just thinking, this is it," she recalls. "This is my saviour. This is my drug."
Instead of rescuing her from her mental health struggles like she hoped it would, ketamine sent her into a spiral. Less than four years on, the 31-year-old mother of one from Southport is now living in a detox centre, separated from her son and living in chronic pain.
9:33
Nicole's journey from recreational use to a deep addiction that caused her severe bladder and kidney problems may be just one extreme case, but ketamine use is now at record levels.
Experts believe this could cause a tidal wave of issues the country is not prepared for, placing severe pressure on the NHS, as well as addiction and mental health services.
Currently a Class B drug, ketamine is used in clinical settings as an anaesthetic for people and animals. It is usually taken recreationally as a crushed powder, but also sometimes injected or swallowed - making people feel detached and dreamlike.
Referred to as "ket" and "special k", it's easily available and costs around £30 a gram.
Between 2023 and 2024, the number of children and young people who reported having a problem with the drug surpassed cocaine for the first time.
The number of ketamine deaths in England and Wales also increased from seven in 2015 to 53 in 2023.
'I don't remember the last three years'
I met Nicole at Birchwood, a residential drug and alcohol detox facility on the Wirral. In the week before I arrived, 14 out of 25 beds were taken by ketamine users.
As we walk through the corridors, Birchwood manager Jo Moore tells me that in more than two decades of working in healthcare, she's never dealt with a challenge as big as the wave of people she's seeing addicted to ketamine, arriving with extreme and complex health issues.
"They're all presenting with urinary incontinence, some can't even walk, they've lost their muscle tone, some are in wheelchairs, and the crippling pain they're going through is significant," she says.
As well as running Birchwood, Jo speaks about the drug at conferences and holds a weekly video call, offering support for a growing group of parents whose children are addicted.
I also met Callum, who describes himself simply as "just a lad from Cheshire ways". While speaking, he often pauses for thought, struck by how quickly his life has taken a turn since his addiction began three years ago.
When his dad died following a struggle with alcoholism, Callum, who had been his carer, turned to ketamine. Until then, the 24-year-old had only taken the drug at festivals, but it quickly took over his life.
"I was so out of it constantly," he says. "I don't remember the last three years properly because of just, you know, you've taken it the whole time."
Daily use nearly cost Callum his life. He had multiple organ issues and weighed just six stone by the time Jo, who knew his family, told his mother that he needed to come to rehab.
Callum's experience is a reminder of how hard it can be to break a dependency on ketamine.
As an anaesthetic, it creates a vicious cycle. Users need it to help ease the pain it causes them.
"It's only once you get off the ketamine you realise the pain that you've got and the problems that you've got," Callum tells me.
"When you're on it, you know you've sort of got pains, but you don't think they're that bad.
"People I know drank for 30, 40 years and my liver is worse than theirs, just from ketamine alone."
'Ketamine destroyed my life'
Nicole also turned to ketamine because it felt like a way out.
She'd had a difficult childhood, been in an abusive relationship as an adult and struggled with mental health issues her whole life.
In a moment of blunt honesty, she tells me she does not regret taking ketamine.
"If I didn't take ketamine in that period of time, I wouldn't be here," she says. "It was a coping mechanism for a while, before it destroyed my life."
As her bladder and kidneys deteriorated, Nicole was taken to hospital several times, often treated by medics who could not understand the problems caused by heavy ketamine use.
On one occasion, she was sent home with chlamydia tablets. On another, she had an invasive kidney procedure with no anaesthetic, because doctors were concerned about giving her pain relief due to her ketamine use.
Becoming more animated, Nicole tells me: "To be in that situation where you need help, you don't know what's going on yourself, the only place you can go to is the hospital and not even they know what is going on with you. That is like a complete state of isolation, loneliness."
Nicole now starts her days in severe agony. She says the chronic pain will last the rest of her life, and pauses at one point in conversation to tell me her bladder is spasming as we speak.
Despite how difficult the last few years have been for them, Nicole and Callum both have hopes for their lives beyond Birchwood. In the months after I met him, Callum successfully completed his detox and rehab. He has also made good on a promise to "get his life back on track" by finding a full-time job.
Things have been more difficult for Nicole, who is still in Birchwood and has been in and out of hospital for a range of bladder and kidney complications. She is still waiting to find out whether her bladder will be removed.
Nicole has made it her mission to raise awareness, posting regularly on TikTok about her appointments and her day-to-day life. Her ultimate hope is to one day join Jo in delivering talks across the country about the drug and its dangers.
Life-changing injuries within a year
Away from Birchwood, the struggles of people like Callum and Nicole are also being felt in the NHS. Alison Downey is a consultant urologist at Pinderfields Hospital in West Yorkshire, where "ketamine bladder" has become an increasingly common phrase to describe the severe damage the drug can do.
"We've seen an explosion in numbers over the past, particularly two to three years," she says.
"Maybe about four or five years ago we would have one or two cases a month, we're now seeing eight or nine a month."
Ms Downey says while urologists are continuing to learn about the drug's impact, there is one certainty: ketamine causes complex challenges for medics.
"There's no other drug that does this amount of damage this quickly to your kidneys and your bladder," she says.
"We obviously see patients who have drug addiction problems from heroin and cocaine in A&E or on the wards, but ketamine has this very specific, quick damage to the kidneys and bladder specifically that we just don't see in any other drug use."
With balloons and a jug, Miss Downey explains the impact the drug can have on someone's bladder, reducing its capacity.
"We know that the average (bladder) capacity of a person that's been using ketamine for a long amount of time is about 100ml, which is about the size of this balloon," she says.
"If you compare that to a normal adult bladder, which holds about 500ml, so five of these balloons, you can see that the capacity is severely reduced. That can result in needing to go to the toilet every 15 to 20 minutes throughout the day or night."
Framing the issues being seen on the frontline are the ongoing discussions around reclassification. Earlier this year, the government announced it would look into the possibility of making ketamine a Class A drug, which would carry greater penalties for making and selling it.
Dr Caroline Copeland is a senior lecturer in pharmacology and toxicology at King's College London and also the director of the National Programme on Substance Use Mortality. For her, this debate is nuanced and needs to go beyond criminalisation.
"I think that instead of necessarily focusing on the punitive measures, which is what comes with the reclassification, we need to be thinking more about how we can actually spend that time and money towards helping the people who are using ketamine and education programmes to stop people starting to use ketamine in the first place," she said.
Dr Copeland also thinks reclassification needs to be a process that takes into account the wider context, because this is a drug that is commonplace and being used casually by many, without significant health consequences.
She added: "Since ketamine was last reclassified from C to B, the landscape of its use has changed somewhat.
"There's much more recreational use in a younger demographic. So we need to do a comprehensive assessment of its harms to determine whether it warrants escalating to being a Class A substance."
However, for those whose lives have been changed by casual use spiralling into addiction, solutions are needed urgently.
I can still remember Jo Moore's words as she walked me out of Birchwood on my first day of filming this story.
She sees this as an issue that needs tackling, with a national framework to bring systems together.
"We're really trying to fight, because we see the damage," she says. "I've looked after heroin addicts and after 20 years of them using heroin, they don't have anything related to the harm that we've got now for the ketamine users, only after a very short time.
"And I think that's what's been so shocking about seeing these ketamine users come through. They can use ketamine for 10 months, two years, and have life-changing injuries.
"That's why we're fighting for this. I think that we have all been very slow to react as a nation to these health concerns."
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles


Scottish Sun
3 minutes ago
- Scottish Sun
‘Hundreds of sick children to be evacuated from Gaza for NHS treatment in UK'
Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) HUNDREDS of ill and injured children are to be evacuated from war-torn Gaza for NHS treatment in the UK under plans set to be announced within weeks. Up to 300 children will enter the country to receive much-needed, free medical care, a source claims, as the harrowing humanitarian crisis continues to grow. Sign up for Scottish Sun newsletter Sign up 4 Crowds form as Palestinians, including children, line up in Gaza City, Gaza to receive food distributed by a charity Credit: Getty 4 Nine-year-old malnourished Palestinian girl Mariam Dawwas gets her hair comed by her mother as she sits with her on the floor Credit: AFP 4 Hundreds of ill and injured children are to be evacuated from war-torn Gaza for NHS treatment Credit: Alamy A senior Whitehall source told The Sunday Times the plan will operate "in parallel" with a scheme run by humanitarian initiative Project Pure Hope. The project was set up by volunteer medical professionals to bring sick and injured Palestinian children to the UK for treatment. Just three children have been given medical visas since the war began in October 2023. The plans approvals come after months of work done by the initiative that is funded by private donations. read more news SUBS SNUB Russia dismisses Trump's warning of sending nuclear subs closer to country It has been nearly a week since Israel, under international pressure amid growing scenes of starving children, announced limited humanitarian pauses and airdrops meant to get more food to Gaza. The population of over two million people now largely rely on aid to survive. But the UN has said far too little aid is coming in, with months of supplies piled up outside Gaza waiting for Israeli approval. Trucks that enter are mostly stripped of supplies by desperate people and criminal groups before reaching warehouses for distribution. Experts this week said a worst-case scenario of famine was occurring. On Saturday, Gaza's health ministry said seven Palestinians had died of malnutrition-related causes over the past 24 hours, including a child. Israel to allow foreign aid to parachute into Gaza but continues bombardment despite growing global pleas for ceasefire The UN has said 500 to 600 trucks of aid are needed daily. Families of the 50 hostages still in Gaza fear they are going hungry too, and blame Hamas, after the militants released images of an emaciated hostage, Evyatar David. Hamas has said it will never lay guns down unless an independent Palestinian state is established and its capital is Jerusalem. The militant group said it was giving a statement "in response to media reports quoting US envoy Steve Witkoff, claiming [Hamas] has shown willingness to disarm". It said: "We reaffirm that resistance and its arms are a legitimate national and legal right as long as the occupation continues. "This right is recognised by international laws and norms, and it cannot be relinquished except through the full restoration of our national rights - first and foremost, the establishment of an independent, fully sovereign Palestinian state with Jerusalem as its capital." It comes as at least 51 people - including 27 aid workers - have been killed so far on Saturday in Israeli attacks across Gaza. Over 60,000 Palestinians have been killed in the devastating war on Gaza amid a deepening hunger crisis - coupled with Israel's cruel blockade of aid deliveries.


The Sun
3 minutes ago
- The Sun
‘Hundreds of sick children to be evacuated from Gaza for NHS treatment in UK'
HUNDREDS of ill and injured children are to be evacuated from war-torn Gaza for NHS treatment in the UK under plans set to be announced within weeks. Up to 300 children will enter the country to receive much-needed, free medical care, a source claims, as the harrowing humanitarian crisis continues to grow. 4 4 A senior Whitehall source told The Sunday Times the plan will operate "in parallel" with a scheme run by humanitarian initiative Project Pure Hope. The project was set up by volunteer medical professionals to bring sick and injured Palestinian children to the UK for treatment. Just three children have been given medical visas since the war began in October 2023. The plans approvals come after months of work done by the initiative that is funded by private donations. It has been nearly a week since Israel, under international pressure amid growing scenes of starving children, announced limited humanitarian pauses and airdrops meant to get more food to Gaza. The population of over two million people now largely rely on aid to survive. But the UN has said far too little aid is coming in, with months of supplies piled up outside Gaza waiting for Israeli approval. Trucks that enter are mostly stripped of supplies by desperate people and criminal groups before reaching warehouses for distribution. Experts this week said a worst-case scenario of famine was occurring. On Saturday, Gaza's health ministry said seven Palestinians had died of malnutrition-related causes over the past 24 hours, including a child. Israel to allow foreign aid to parachute into Gaza but continues bombardment despite growing global pleas for ceasefire The UN has said 500 to 600 trucks of aid are needed daily. Families of the 50 hostages still in Gaza fear they are going hungry too, and blame Hamas, after the militants released images of an emaciated hostage, Evyatar David. Hamas has said it will never lay guns down unless an independent Palestinian state is established and its capital is Jerusalem. The militant group said it was giving a statement "in response to media reports quoting US envoy Steve Witkoff, claiming [Hamas] has shown willingness to disarm". It said: "We reaffirm that resistance and its arms are a legitimate national and legal right as long as the occupation continues. "This right is recognised by international laws and norms, and it cannot be relinquished except through the full restoration of our national rights - first and foremost, the establishment of an independent, fully sovereign Palestinian state with Jerusalem as its capital." It comes as at least 51 people - including 27 aid workers - have been killed so far on Saturday in Israeli attacks across Gaza. Over 60,000 Palestinians have been killed in the devastating war on Gaza amid a deepening hunger crisis - coupled with Israel's cruel blockade of aid deliveries. 4


Daily Mail
33 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
How US doctor helped fuel public fears over 'toxic' sunscreens as reality star Sam Faiers faces backlash for not putting cream on her three children
When reality TV star Sam Faiers revealed last week her children don't wear sun protection, she became the latest celebrity to claim that sunscreens are 'harmful' and full of 'toxic ingredients'. Posting to her 2.5million followers on Instagram, the former The Only Way Is Essex star, 34, shared photographs of her children Paul, nine, Rosie, seven, and Edward, two, as they holidayed in Majorca. She wrote: 'My whole family don't actually wear sunscreen. 'Over the years, the kids have built up a really good tolerance to being in the sun. 'Of course, if it's really hot and the sun feels too harsh, I'll make sure we head into the shade… I'm really careful about sunscreen in general, because a lot of them are actually pretty harmful and full of toxic ingredients.' Other celebrities have adopted the same approach: influencers Kelsey Parker and Lauryn Goodman have told their followers they ignore NHS advice to wear sun protection factor of at least 30. Health experts are horrified at what they see as a dangerous conspiracy theory, fearing a fall in sunscreen use will lead to a rise in skin cancer. According to market researchers Mintel, 72 per cent of UK adults used sun protection in the 12 months to September 2024, falling from 77 per cent in the same period in 2023. So, how did the worrying pseudo-science about sunscreen take hold? The Mail on Sunday has traced its genesis back to a scientific paper published in the Journal of the American Medical Association and posted on Twitter in May 2019. The paper, by 19 scientists, tested four sunscreens on the market and found the concentrations of some chemicals exceeded thresholds established by the US Food and Drug Administration. It made clear further studies were needed to determine the clinical significance: 'These results do not indicate individuals should refrain from the use of sunscreen.' But the next day, New York medic Dr Tro Kalayjian, a specialist in obesity, stepped into the debate. He reposted the paper and told his 158,000 Twitter followers: 'Have said this many times now: Be careful what you smear on yourself and your children.' Over the next six years, the 2019 paper – Effect of Sunscreen Application Under Maximal Use Conditions on Plasma Concentration of Sunscreen Active Ingredients – has become one of the most hotly debated scientific works on Twitter and social media site BlueSky. Just last month, Dr Tro, as he refers to himself online, wrote on the website of his company Toward Health: 'Our skin and our gut are literally the physical ways our bodies interact with the world. 'They're how we absorb sunlight and nutrition… but also how toxins, heavy metals, parasites, plastics, and chemicals make their way into our bodies.' He added: 'I often tell patients, 'If you wouldn't trust it inside your body, think twice before putting it on your skin or in your mouth'.' While Dr Tro does not advise against all sunscreens, he says some – like other cosmetics – contain harmful substances. He says barriers such as clothing, hats and shade should be considered. He founded Toward Health, which specialises in obesity treatment and diabetes management in New York in 2017 after losing 150lb on a low-carbohydrate diet. Dr Tro told The MoS: 'I understand those who deeply value public health messaging may struggle with the idea previously recommended practices can become outdated or even unsafe. 'It can feel more comfortable to trust the guidance as-is and view any challenge to it as fearmongering or misinformation. 'But the truth is, these issues are complex. People benefit most when they think critically and independently. Public health messages are important and should be heard, but should also be open to question, especially when the science evolves faster than the guidelines.' UK doctors dismissed the scares. Skin cancer prevention doctor Ross Perry said he is 'horrified' by influencers' comments, calling Ms Faiers 'naive and irresponsible'. Dr Perry told The MoS: 'Children do not build up a tolerance to sun exposure – they are just storing up more sun damage for later on in life. 'It is a well-known fact if children get any degree of sunburn, it more than doubles their risk of getting skin cancer at a later date so that is completely false and misleading. 'Remember any tan or sunburn is creating damage to the skin so SPF should always be worn in the sun.' HOW TO STAY SAFE IN THE SUN To stay sun safe, experts recommend people: Seek shade between 11am and 3pm, which is when the sun's rays are typically strongest Wear at least SPF 30 sunscreen Apply sunscreen 30 minutes, and again just before, UV exposure Opt for water-resistant sunscreen if necessary and reapply after swimming, sweating or using a towel Cover up with protective clothing, a wide-brimmed hat and sunglasses Be extra careful with babies and young children. Infants under six months should be kept out of direct sunlight Do not use sunbeds or sunlamps Checks moles and skin for any changes