Vanessa, Channel 5, review: Feltz's TV return is nervy, welcoming and familiar daytime fodder
Back in the Nineties, Feltz had an eponymous daytime chat show, which bit the dust after a scandal over fake guests. After a gap of 26 years, she is back with Vanessa on Channel 5 (now known simply as 5). The vibe now is less Jerry Springer fisticuffs, more Drew Barrymore emotional honesty, with Feltz being open about her own relationships and family dilemmas. 'Heartwarming, straight-talking' TV is promised, in a pink studio that channels Barbara Cartland by way of DFS.
The tone is welcoming and the content is familiar daytime fodder: viewer phone-ins, guests on the sofa and experts popping in to offer relationship advice. We started in tame territory. 'Do you need a partner to be happy?' 'Tips and advice on blended families.' And then, 'Would you send a saucy photo to your partner to spice up your relationship?' In the spirit of sharing, Vanessa offered up the fact that she was asked for a picture of her 'intimate private zones' only recently. The results, alas, looked 'absolutely horrific' so she didn't send it. Is this what it's like to date at 63? What a future I have to look forward to.
Feltz confessed to being 'wildly nervous' and it showed in the opening minutes. Perhaps she was thinking about ratings – the show is boldly scheduled against Loose Women on ITV – or technical teething problems. Or was she worried about the calibre of her guests? 'No one is allowed through the door unless they are a legend,' she said on the promotional trail last week but perhaps legends have Mondays off, because the main guest was Helen Flanagan, a former actress who left Coronation Street in 2018 and now seems to exist on Instagram. The other was Lizzie Cundy, who is a pal of Vanessa's and is, according to Wikipedia, 'an English socialite, TV personality and former wife of footballer Jason Cundy'.
Neither of them had anything interesting to contribute, yet the show was built around Flanagan (she is, as you will gather if you look at her social media, a fan of sexy selfies). At the moment, the programme has nothing to make it stand out from the competition apart from Feltz herself. She is an accomplished presenter who wears her intelligence lightly. She can also throw herself into a joke, parodying the Duchess of Sussex's rainbow food plating by making a sun out of an orange slice and three packets of cheese strings. And she can handle the sex talk deftly, steering it away from smuttiness (this is daytime TV, after all).
Can the show beat Loose Women? It's unlikely, although the phone-in featured a smattering of men so maybe Feltz has a wider appeal to both genders. Let's hope her preening ex didn't tune in to hear this rather elegant put-down: 'Every time this gentleman disrobed and took off his undergarments, it was like he was showing me a trophy of international renown.'
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