'I cut off my famous daughter after my son died - I want her to know I'm sorry'
"There was nothing she didn't include me in," shares Jenny. "We did all the wonderful stuff – the premiere of Love Actually, the restaurants – but the memories I cherish are of us just sitting on my bed, bringing up old memories and laughing. I miss that."
Their bond began to crumble following the tragic passing of Martine's brother Laurence John – affectionately known as LJ – in 2022, at the tender age of 31. Jenny admits she experienced an emotional breakdown and pushed Martine away.
In an exclusive interview with OK!, Jenny, 69, expresses her desire to apologise to Martine, 49, for distancing herself, reports the Mirror.
"When I lost LJ, I detached. I was so heartbroken I couldn't talk to Martine," she confesses. "There was no big row – Martine tried to contact me for months, but I didn't answer. Martine was grieving and needed me, too. I want the chance to say sorry. I miss her so much – it physically hurts." Martine mcCutcheon and mum Jenny at Martine's 30th birthday party. (Image: Getty Images) Martine McCutcheon in garden on a picnic blanket in garden with her late brother AJ (Image: martinemccutcheon/Instagram)
Jenny and Martine did have a brief encounter last October, but it wasn't the reunion Jenny had hoped for. "Martine texted me out of the blue," recalls Jenny. "She'd moved into a new home and wondered if my husband Alan could do some painting.
"We jumped at the chance and went over, but we didn't talk in depth. It was awkward and the atmosphere felt heavy. There had been tentative discussions about festive arrangements, though nothing concrete was settled."
Jenny reveals this marked the beginning of a prolonged period of silence. Drawing parallels with another celebrity family drama that's captured public attention, Jenny reflects: "I understand the pain Victoria Beckham is going through over her estrangement from Brooklyn. He was her firstborn, too.
"It's a heartbreaking situation for anybody who is estranged or has lost their child." When speaking about the devastating loss of LJ, Jenny's voice becomes fragile with emotion. "It's not the natural order to lose a child."
Jenny acknowledges that her actions "broke" Martine's heart. "Eventually, I did pull myself out of that dark hole, but maybe it was too late," she admits.
Describing the tragic day LJ passed away, Jenny recounts receiving a devastating call from his fiancée, informing her that he had collapsed and couldn't be resuscitated. Still dressed in her nightwear, Jenny made the frantic hour-and-a-half journey from her Aylesbury home in Buckinghamshire to LJ's residence near the Essex coastline – but she arrived too late.
"My precious boy was on the floor, wrapped up. I remember saying, 'It's OK to open your eyes now, son, I'm here'," she recalls through tears. "They'd worked hard doing CPR on him, but couldn't bring him back. It was like a nightmare. I couldn't believe my boy was gone."
An autopsy revealed that LJ – who was a non-smoker and teetotaller – had passed away from acute ischaemic heart disease and diabetes. Jenny phoned Martine from the scene, but was so overwhelmed with grief that her daughter had to talk to the paramedics to understand what had occurred.
Later, Jenny drove to Martine's place. "She looked at me and realised I needed looking after," Jenny recounts. "She'd prepared the spare room, stroked my hair, gave me a cuddle and, somehow, I slept."
LJ was laid to rest on October 31, 2022. Afterwards, Jenny describes her life as having plunged "down a deep, dark pit". She admits, "I was seen by a mental health team and given anti-anxiety meds." Martine McCutcheon and mum (Image: Getty Images) Jenny Tomlin in her garden (Image: David Cummings)
Martine, known for her role as Tiffany Mitchell in EastEnders between 1994 and 1998, was just 15 when LJ was born, and Jenny remembers how she took on a motherly role towards him. Since LJ's passing, Jenny has been crippled by anxiety, which she believes is why she hasn't seen her daughter or her 10 year old grandson, Rafferty, for such a long time.
"I didn't contact Martine," she confesses. "I abandoned her. I was so consumed by my own sorrow that I neglected my other child. That was the beginning, and things just... snowballed. And here we are."
Jenny, an author of both novels and memoirs, including Behind Closed Doors which details the abuse she endured as a child, mentions she's tried reaching out to Martine recently – through calls, texts, and sending cards – but alleges she's received no reply.
Just a few weeks back, after an epiphany, Jenny and Alan took the hour and a half drive to Martine's place in Surrey. "I was banging on the door shouting her name," she confesses.
"But nobody answered. So I gave up, got in the car and drove home distraught. I turned to Alan and said, 'I don't think she'll ever speak to me again'.
"That's why I've done this interview as a plea for Martine to get in touch."
Recently, Jenny has been feeling more like her old self and has even begun penning a memoir about LJ. Yet, the remorse over her relationship with Martine lingers.
"I let Martine down. There's not a day goes by when I don't think of her.
"Losing Rafferty has felt like another death," she reveals. Her affection for Rafferty has spurred her to start writing children's stories, which she intends to dedicate to him.
When Martine's 18-year romance with musician Jack McManus ended last year, Jenny and Martine were estranged. It's a topic Jenny refuses to comment on.
"That's between Martine and Jack," she states.
"I don't think I'll ever stop trying when it comes to my girl. If I could speak to Martine, I'd tell her how sorry I am. I've lost one child, I don't want to lose another."
As Jenny approaches her 70th birthday next year, her ultimate wish is to have a cup of tea with her daughter while watching her grandson play outside. "I've seen what silence does to families," she remarks.
"I don't want that for us. I don't want to be another story of regret. I want us to love each other. To find our way back."
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