1 in 3 U.S. workers say they've had romances with their managers

Fast Company

3 days ago

The complexities and controversies of workplace romances are well known—they're the topic of countless sitcom jokes, and we bet you can certainly recall a salty saying or two about the often ill-advised practice. And, of course, the whole topic just splashed across the headlines when two senior executives from the startup Astronomer, both married to other people, were caught on a kiss cam at a Coldplay concert.
But data from a recent survey shows that many workers, even though they're aware of the emotional and professional risks of workplace relationships, just can't seem to keep their hands off each other.
Zety, a Polish online résumé company, surveyed over 1,000 U.S. workers as part of its 'Modern Workplace Romance Report,' Newsweek notes. The data on workplace romances is startling: 79% of respondents said they'd had long-term workplace romances. That's nearly eight in 10 people—take a glance around your office and see if the gossip you've heard lines up with this stat. More concerningly, since it raises numerous ethical issues, 32% of people said they'd dated a boss or superior.
86% of people in the survey also think the surge of hybrid and remote working driven by the pandemic has made it easier for work-based romances to happen — possibly because there's less risk of being seen by co-workers if you're simply not in the office. And 94% of respondents also said emojis and GIF files were a boon for workplace flirting, while 79% said they'd bungled sending flirty contacts by sending them to the wrong person.
Perhaps the most obvious statistic in the Zety survey is nonetheless interesting simply because of the giant figure involved: 91% of U.S. workers said they'd used flirting or charm to boost their position at work. That's over nine in 10 people, most likely including folks in your office.
Newsweek also quotes data from a different survey, from anonymous workplace chat app Blind, that found that among over 8,000 American respondents, human resources staff were the group most likely to have had workplace romances. That's a curious piece of data, especially in context of a 2018 report that surveyed 150 HR executives, finding that one-third of office romances end with someone being fired.
Zety's data doesn't necessarily imply that workplace romances are illicit affairs of the caught-on-Coldplay-kiss-cam kind, of course, and neither does Blind's data. But some of the statistics should worry leaders of almost any company.
Conscious of the emotional disruption that workplace romances can cause, to say nothing of the legal complexities that may arise if a manager is accused of favoritism because they're romantically involved with a subordinate, many workplaces have strict policies on the issue.
But, as the saying goes, 'love will find a way,' and Zety's data shows that despite employers commonly banning or restricting workplace relationships, people just keep having them. Newsweek notes that an earlier survey by Resume Genius found 72% of people who've had workplace romances don't inform management or HR about them — despite the Blind data on the romantic risks confessed by HR employees.
Many experts have penned pieces advising on the thorny matter of office romances (many with a simple 'don't do it!' slant). But why should you care about this?
The Coldplay concert drama again turned a spotlight onto the issue of work relationships, which means it might be a good time to refresh your company's policies, and maybe even reissue them to your staff so they're aware of whether relationships are permitted, or if they should notify managers of a relationship and so on.
But you may also not want to overreact: Some other recent data shows that fewer people are having work romances now than in previous decades—possibly echoing other research that shows the traditional 'workplace bestie' is also a fading phenomenon.
— By Kit Eaton