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An Ode to .. Tanya Unkovich

An Ode to .. Tanya Unkovich

Newsroom2 days ago

Servants to Mankind
The remaining three Scribes of the legacy media
Hang around the gates of the Grand Palace.
It has been a dull week. Nothing has happened.
The winter rain gently falls in a horizontal blast
On the damp and grousing Scribes.
'No news,' mutters one.
'Hold on,' says his colleague. 'Who's this?'
Duchess Unkovich of Dargaville steps out of the Great Doors.
'I have come before you today to announce my Mission
To Serve Mankind has come to the conclusion of Part One,'
The graceful and serene Duchess declaims.
'Who is she?' whispers a Scribe.
'Beats me,' answers his Fellow Hack.
'Having achieved my lofty goals, I henceforth
Seek to serve Mankind through opportunities in the private sector,'
Proclaims the Duchess with regal dignity.
'Er, what did you exactly achieve for Mankind whilst here?,'
Asks a confused Scribe.
'The Fair Access to Nightsoil Closets and Commodes Bill,'
States the proud and godly Duchess.
'What happened to that?,' asks a confused Scribe, checking his notes.
'The pink and green non binary flying Unicorns plotted against me,'
Snarls the suddenly animated and rage filled Duchess.
'And they will be judged when the People's Nuremberg Tribunals
On Courtiers, Healers of the Plague, and Scribes are convened
And the necks of sinners are snicker snacked!'
The Scribes look at each other in concern.
'Well, who is your replacement then?,'
Asks a bemused Scribe.
'Let me introduce my fellow Servant of Mankind,'
Pronounces Duchess Unkovich of Dargaville.
And out of the door of the Grand Palace
Steps a replacement courtier from the party list:
A man in a wolf fur onesie with buffalo horns.
'What is your … er … mission?,' inquires a thunderstruck Scribe.
The wolf man stares vacantly at the assembled audience,
Then lifts his horns to the sky with a spine chilling howl
And starts to shed vaccines.

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