Challenges of raising special needs children

The Sun

a day ago

PETALING JAYA: For most parents, raising a child is a journey of joy and discovery.
But for mothers like Hardarshan Kaur and Cecily Andrews Fourrier, it is also a path paved with resilience, heartbreak and an extraordinary kind of love.
Both are mothers to neurodivergent daughters, and have found a renewed sense of hope at Spectrum Heroes Care Centre, an inclusive learning space that has helped transform their children's lives and theirs.
'I prayed very hard for my second child,' said Hardarshan, 71, a former teacher.
'When Shandeep was born, we were overjoyed. But the next day, when the doctor said my child has Down syndrome, my world came crashing down.
'We didn't tell anyone she was different. I couldn't bring myself to. But my husband was the strong one. He told me, 'take this as a challenge from God'.'
Now 31, Shandeep is thriving and has come out of her shell after attending Spectrum Heroes.
'She's happier now. She washes her own plate and helps younger students at the centre. She's non-verbal but understands everything. She just chooses not to speak unless necessary,' said Hardarshan with pride.
'She paints beautifully. Our staircase wall at home is her 'wall of fame', filled with framed artwork.'
Cecily shared a similar story, but one shaped by adoption and advocacy. Her daughter Cassandra, seven, is autistic, non-verbal, developmentally delayed and epileptic.
She was abandoned by her drug addict birth mother, and adopted at the age of one.
'Her development is that of a three-year-old. She used to go into sudden bad seizures until she started medication three years ago, and fortunately it's been under control. And her meltdowns? Her screams could be heard from outside the building,' Cecily recalled.
Cecily, an emotional intelligence practitioner and anti-baby dumping advocate, said finding the right intervention centre was an uphill battle.
'We tried so many places. Nothing worked. Progress was minimal and the methods weren't up to standard, until we found Spectrum Heroes. It's been four months, and the change is unbelievable.
'They truly love the children. This place isn't profit-driven. It's community-based, affordable and built on passion. I finally feel safe leaving her here.'
Cecily said Cassandra's challenges
were intense.
'She has severe separation anxiety. I couldn't leave her anywhere without her melting down for hours.
'Even now, she's obsessed with gadgets. If she doesn't get her tablet in public, she'll scream, lie on the floor and people stare.
'But she's improving. She's expressing more. She's bonding better with her little sister. I know there's more progress to come.'
Both mothers urge parents of newly diagnosed children to focus on acceptance and early intervention.
'You must first accept your child as he is. Only then can you move forward. Don't hide them. Take them out, let people see them. Family support matters too. My younger daughter helped Shandeep learn toilet training just by example,' said Hardarshan.
Their stories are not just about the children, but about the mothers who never gave up, who adapted, fought for inclusion and found beauty in difference.