Hot under the collar: how to ace the dating scene this summer

The Guardian

23-05-2025

After what felt like a neverending winter, longer days are finally here, and with them comes the chance for singles of all stripes to give their love life a boost.
'The summer makes everyone happier, more confident and a bit more frisky, so if you're dating, try to make the most of it,' advises Eimear Draper, founder of dating coaching service Kindling.
'Dating apps tend to see a dip in usage in the summer months, and while it's worth keeping them ticking over in the background, with everyone hanging out in parks and beer gardens there are more opportunities to connect with people in real life, too.
'Just going up to someone and saying 'hi' could spark something, whether it's a conversation you feel proud of starting, or the beginning of a real-life romcom. So be brave and take a chance.'
Of course, there are some things that can put a damper on the romantic mood, not least hay fever with the itchy eyes and stuffy nose it brings. You could get ahead of the game by using a nasal spray – something like Beconase Hay Fever Relief for Adults could help to keep symptoms at bay so you can concentrate on seeking out Mr, Ms or Mx Right.
We asked Draper and Kindling's Sergio Rebelo*, a therapist with a special focus on all things psychosexual, for their expert tips on dating success this summer.
Summer confidence can coax you out of your comfort zone, whether that's trying a new hobby, daring to wear the season's romantic ruffles – or choosing a different kind of partner.
'Dating outside your type is always a good thing to try, and summer tends to take the pressure off the dating scene,' says Draper. 'You might be looking for someone to go for a sunny stroll with rather than for the love of your life, so you can swipe right on people you wouldn't normally take a chance on.'
'Communication, honesty and consent are key,' adds Rebelo, 'so be upfront about what you want, whether that's a fun summer fling or something more long term.'
Most of us like the idea of meeting somebody in real life rather than on a dating app – but, says Draper, there's no need to make that distinction.
'Everyone says they hate dating apps and want to meet someone in real life, but as soon as you go on a date with someone from an app, that's real life,' she says. 'So instead of getting stuck on the app exchanging lots of messages, go and meet in person. Summer's the ideal time for it, because your first meeting doesn't have to be a big Saturday night date – you can just go for an iced coffee.'
'You can't say the wrong thing to the right person,' says Draper. So if you're looking for Mr, Miss or Mx right, don't be afraid to let your full personality show.
'If your date turns into a relationship, one of you will get food poisoning at some point, and any pretence at civility will be gone. So be your full self from the start.
'For example, if you've got hay fever and are enjoying a picnic in the park, don't be embarrassed if you've got streaming eyes or have to use your nasal spray. It's real, and creates an openness that could work in your favour.'
Potentially exposing more flesh as we segue into warmer months can be scary, so before you plunge into summer dating, it pays to do a recce of your wardrobe.
'That summer confidence boost can take a while to emerge after the dark days of winter,' says Draper. 'Instead of trying on 10 outfits before each date and feeling horrible about yourself, put together three go-to date outfits that you know you feel good in, and choose from them.
Remember, too, that you're your own harshest critic. 'The people you meet won't notice the things about yourself you're not so keen on.'
In winter, your choice of activity is limited to whatever will get you out of the cold and rain. But, says Rebelo, summer opens up a whole new world of possibilities.
'A tour around your local area, by car, boat or on foot, is an ideal first-date activity. It lets you experience the place you both live in a new way without the pressure to just talk for three or four hours straight.'
The tour, says Rebelo, could be historical, gastronomical – or even a walk around a graveyard. 'People tend to gravitate towards parks for their summer dates,' he says. 'But cemeteries are far more interesting, and can spark a different kind of conversation.'
And if it's raining? 'Do something a bit different, like joining a museum tour or pottery class, which will bring out another side of the person you're dating,' Rebelo says. 'Going to a comedy improv night is a good choice, too – it's a great way to gauge someone's humour, and the perfect way to connect.'
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*The healthcare professional featured does not endorse any medicinal brands or products
Beconase Hayfever Relief for Adults 0.05% Nasal Spray contains beclometasone dipropionate. For the treatment of hayfever in adults aged 18 and over. Always read the leaflet. MAT-9351