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Savannah Guthrie opened up about her divorce. She shouldn't be ashamed.

Savannah Guthrie opened up about her divorce. She shouldn't be ashamed.

Yahoo5 days ago
When it comes to talking about divorce, it's OK to be candid.
"Today" host Savannah Guthrie, 53, modeled what being vulnerable about divorce sounds like during a recent podcast conversation, opening up on her "horrible and sad" split from former husband Mark Orchard. Speaking on Monica Lewinsky's "Reclaiming" podcast in an episode released on July 1, Guthrie said the end of the marriage "broke my heart."
"It took me years to recover," said Guthrie, who was married to Orchard from 2005 to 2009.
Divorce is common. Research shows that 41% of first marriages end in divorce and 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages end the same way.
While the experience is so ubiquitous, Guthrie's sincere comments raise the question of why don't we talk about divorce more honestly?
"People often don't talk about it in an honest way," said Deborah Carr, professor of sociology at Boston University and director of the Center of Innovation in Social Science. "It's rare you see someone honestly say they were devastated and they felt like a failure ... the real emotional dimensions of divorce aren't addressed."
A big reason is the shame and stigma people face when opening up about a relationship ending. Typically, their peers want to know who's to "blame" for dissolving a union, rather than how the individual is doing, said Eman Tadros, a marriage and family therapist and professor at Syracuse University. We want the story. But it's not as simple as one partner being right or wrong, she said, so we need to work on ways to reframe divorce as a complex transition with many sides.
"People were probably stunned she did not want to talk about this sooner," Tadros said. "It's OK for people to have different lengths of time to process things."
Language is power when overcoming stigma about divorce.
One thing people can do is lead with "I" statements to take accountability for their feelings, Tadros advised. This is easy to imagine, but hard in practice, she said.
"Say 'I' in the beginning of a sentence, instead of 'you hurt me,'" Tadros explained. "Then you are speaking about your experiences and not attributing or shifting blame to your partner."
Another step forward is to replace connotative terms like "break up" with neutral ones such as "uncoupling" to avoid pointing fingers or assuming the divorce is a loss, rather than a progressive moment for each person, she said. And this applies to friends and family of the couple, too. Gwyneth Paltrow and ex Chris Martin raised eyebrows for using this language, but they had a point.
"Saying, 'they broke up' (implies) 'Oh, what happened?'" she said. Peers should ask open-ended questions, Tadros advised. Instead of asking a friend "Who did what?" trying leading with "How are you both navigating this?" to provide a blame-free zone for them to express. These small changes can revolutionize divorce discourse from trading barbs to supporting individuals, Tadros said. The result? People who leave relationships feel less isolated and more empowered to start their next chapter.
"People cannot support us unless they know what we're going through," said Carr. But it's important not to offer unsolicited advice to a divorcing friend, she added. Let them ask for what they need on their own time.
In case you missed: Michelle Obama says Barack Obama divorce rumor reactions are like 'the apocalypse'
"There are many reasons people divorce, and some will be more painful than others," said Carr, and people may need professional help to work through trauma.
But there's hope in the aftermath. Guthrie herself went on to marry Michael Feldman in 2014. But it is completely normal for anyone to take some time as Guthrie did to recover and make sense of what the marriage meant.
"Often times there's guilt to deal with, and that feeling of failure," Carr said. "When (marriage) goes away, they have to rethink every aspect of their future ... That loss of innocence can be really emotionally powerful."
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Savannah Guthrie talks divorce: Why she shouldn't be ashamed
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Your favorite Fourth of July foods were invented by immigrants
Your favorite Fourth of July foods were invented by immigrants

National Geographic

time5 days ago

  • National Geographic

Your favorite Fourth of July foods were invented by immigrants

Foods like hot dogs, hamburgers, and potato salad have become menu essentials at Independence Day cookouts across the country—but their origins actually hail from all around the world. Hamburgers are one of the main staples found at Independence Day cookouts across America—but they actually hail from Germany. Photograph by Janie Osborne/The New York Times/Redux On a typical red-and-white checkered Fourth of July picnic table, you'll find everything from a juicy burger and a charred hot dog to piles of potato salad and seemingly endless cans of beer—it really doesn't get more all-American. Unsurprisingly, the foods we eat to celebrate our country's independence came to us from all over the world. In fact, none of America's traditional cookout foods have much to do with the country's very first birthday in 1777, a year after the Declaration of Independence was adopted. 'If you celebrate with barbecue, you are closer to the way people would have celebrated in the early republic, with pig roasts and cider for the whole community,' says Megan Elias, director of food studies programs at Boston University and author of Food on the Page: Cookbooks and American Culture. Most of today's popular Independence Day foods 'are instead mid-twentieth century suburban cookout foods from the Midwest, which was much more German in its demographics than other parts of the U.S.,' she notes. (The symbolism behind traditional Juneteenth foods—from barbecue to hibiscus.) We spoke to Elias and other food historians about how our Fourth of July favorites got here in the first place. The hamburger's ties to ancient Rome It's hard to imagine an American menu without a classic burger—smashed, stuffed with cheese, or made with wagyu. But the hamburger actually hails from a beloved ancient Roman dish called isicia omentata, which was made with minced meat—the world's oldest known cookbook, Cookery and Dining in Imperial Rome, suggests peacock, pheasant, rabbit, chicken, or pork—mixed with wine, pine nuts, and fish sauce. With international roots, the hamburger has become an iconic staple not just in America, but all around the world. Photograph by Weegee(Arthur Fellig)/International Center(TOP LEFT) Photo by(TOP RIGHT) PHOTOGRAPH BY NICK HANNES/PANOS PICTURES/REDUX (BOTTOM LEFT) AND PHOTOGRAPH BY BONNIE SCHIFFMAN/GETTY IMAGES (BOTTOM RIGHT) By the 18th century, Germans were mincing cow meat into steak in Hamburg, grilling them, and topping it all off with gravy. Hamburg steaks quickly became popular all over Europe. In 1900, Danish food peddler Louis Lassen sold the country's first burger in New Haven, Connecticut off the back of his wooden wagon. Four years later, burgers were being sold for five cents a pop at the St. Louis World's Fair. (Sinful. Poisonous. Stinky? How tomatoes overcame their wicked reputation.) 'Hamburgers and hotdogs became street food in the early 20th century as an increasingly mobile population looked for food they could eat on the go,' says Elias. Today, they're one of the most eaten foods on July 4. The hot dog's German roots The introduction of the hot dog to America is tied to Germany and its bratwurst-centric cuisine. "German immigrants, particularly in the mid-19th century after the failed revolutions of 1848, opened restaurants, taverns, and beer gardens, popularizing lager beer, sausages like Frankfurters, ground meat Hamburgers, potato salad, and coleslaw," says Paul Freedman, professor of history at Yale and author of Ten Restaurants That Changed America. 'They have become patriotic foods because they lend themselves to the July 4 summer climate—outdoor cookery, cold dishes, beer—and because their foreign origin has been forgotten." In 1876, German immigrant Charles Feltman invented the concept of a hot dog on a bun in Coney Island, New York as a way to avoid providing plates and silverware to customers. Later in 1916, Nathan Handwerker, one of Feltman's employees, opened Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs a few blocks away. Today, Nathan's on Coney Island holds its popular hot dog eating contest every Fourth of July. Hot dogs gained popularity at baseball parks and cookouts thanks to their on-the-go nature. Photograph by Brian Doben/Nat Geo Image Collection (Top) (Left) and Photograph by Rebecca Hale/Nat Geo Image Collection (Bottom) (Right) 'July 4 remains the biggest hot dog day of the year, when Americans eat an estimated 150 million hot dogs,' says Eric Mittenthal, president of the Meat Institute's National Hot Dog and Sausage Council. Potato salad's journey from Peru to present-day America While potatoes were first grown by the Incas in Peru more than 7,000 years ago, European immigrants are credited with bringing them to the table in the 16th century after the Spanish conquest of the Inca Empire. Later that same century, Germans whipped up one of the first potato salads, called kartoffelsalat. By the mid-19th century, a mayo and relish-dressed variety arrived in the South while northerners took on a version with dill and sour cream. The production of Hellman's in the early 1900s further popularized the iconic may-based potato salad, but today, variations include everything from a vinegar base to the inclusion of ingredients like hard-boiled eggs and paprika. 'Potatoes and cabbage are still very common staples in central and eastern Europe, lasting through cold winters, and then getting dressed up as salads for the summer,' says Elias. Drinking beer on Independence Day has become a symbol of American culture, as seen here at the annual Hermosa Ironman competition. Photograph by Jay L. Clendenin/Getty Images

Savannah Guthrie opened up about her divorce. She shouldn't be ashamed.
Savannah Guthrie opened up about her divorce. She shouldn't be ashamed.

USA Today

time5 days ago

  • USA Today

Savannah Guthrie opened up about her divorce. She shouldn't be ashamed.

When it comes to talking about divorce, it's OK to be candid. "Today" host Savannah Guthrie, 53, modeled what being vulnerable about divorce sounds like during a recent podcast conversation, opening up on her "horrible and sad" split from former husband Mark Orchard. Speaking on Monica Lewinsky's "Reclaiming" podcast in an episode released on July 1, Guthrie said the end of the marriage "broke my heart." "It took me years to recover," said Guthrie, who was married to Orchard from 2005 to 2009. Divorce is common. Research shows that 41% of first marriages end in divorce and 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages end the same way. While the experience is so ubiquitous, Guthrie's sincere comments raise the question of why don't we talk about divorce more honestly? "People often don't talk about it in an honest way," said Deborah Carr, professor of sociology at Boston University and director of the Center of Innovation in Social Science. "It's rare you see someone honestly say they were devastated and they felt like a failure ... the real emotional dimensions of divorce aren't addressed." A big reason is the shame and stigma people face when opening up about a relationship ending. Typically, their peers want to know who's to "blame" for dissolving a union, rather than how the individual is doing, said Eman Tadros, a marriage and family therapist and professor at Syracuse University. We want the story. But it's not as simple as one partner being right or wrong, she said, so we need to work on ways to reframe divorce as a complex transition with many sides. "People were probably stunned she did not want to talk about this sooner," Tadros said. "It's OK for people to have different lengths of time to process things." 'Uncoupling' versus 'breaking up' Language is power when overcoming stigma about divorce. One thing people can do is lead with "I" statements to take accountability for their feelings, Tadros advised. This is easy to imagine, but hard in practice, she said. "Say 'I' in the beginning of a sentence, instead of 'you hurt me,'" Tadros explained. "Then you are speaking about your experiences and not attributing or shifting blame to your partner." Another step forward is to replace connotative terms like "break up" with neutral ones such as "uncoupling" to avoid pointing fingers or assuming the divorce is a loss, rather than a progressive moment for each person, she said. And this applies to friends and family of the couple, too. Gwyneth Paltrow and ex Chris Martin raised eyebrows for using this language, but they had a point. "Saying, 'they broke up' (implies) 'Oh, what happened?'" she said. Peers should ask open-ended questions, Tadros advised. Instead of asking a friend "Who did what?" trying leading with "How are you both navigating this?" to provide a blame-free zone for them to express. These small changes can revolutionize divorce discourse from trading barbs to supporting individuals, Tadros said. The result? People who leave relationships feel less isolated and more empowered to start their next chapter. "People cannot support us unless they know what we're going through," said Carr. But it's important not to offer unsolicited advice to a divorcing friend, she added. Let them ask for what they need on their own time. "There are many reasons people divorce, and some will be more painful than others," said Carr, and people may need professional help to work through trauma. But there's hope in the aftermath. Guthrie herself went on to marry Michael Feldman in 2014. But it is completely normal for anyone to take some time as Guthrie did to recover and make sense of what the marriage meant. "Often times there's guilt to deal with, and that feeling of failure," Carr said. "When (marriage) goes away, they have to rethink every aspect of their future ... That loss of innocence can be really emotionally powerful."

Savannah Guthrie opened up about her divorce. She shouldn't be ashamed.
Savannah Guthrie opened up about her divorce. She shouldn't be ashamed.

Yahoo

time5 days ago

  • Yahoo

Savannah Guthrie opened up about her divorce. She shouldn't be ashamed.

When it comes to talking about divorce, it's OK to be candid. "Today" host Savannah Guthrie, 53, modeled what being vulnerable about divorce sounds like during a recent podcast conversation, opening up on her "horrible and sad" split from former husband Mark Orchard. Speaking on Monica Lewinsky's "Reclaiming" podcast in an episode released on July 1, Guthrie said the end of the marriage "broke my heart." "It took me years to recover," said Guthrie, who was married to Orchard from 2005 to 2009. Divorce is common. Research shows that 41% of first marriages end in divorce and 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages end the same way. While the experience is so ubiquitous, Guthrie's sincere comments raise the question of why don't we talk about divorce more honestly? "People often don't talk about it in an honest way," said Deborah Carr, professor of sociology at Boston University and director of the Center of Innovation in Social Science. "It's rare you see someone honestly say they were devastated and they felt like a failure ... the real emotional dimensions of divorce aren't addressed." A big reason is the shame and stigma people face when opening up about a relationship ending. Typically, their peers want to know who's to "blame" for dissolving a union, rather than how the individual is doing, said Eman Tadros, a marriage and family therapist and professor at Syracuse University. We want the story. But it's not as simple as one partner being right or wrong, she said, so we need to work on ways to reframe divorce as a complex transition with many sides. "People were probably stunned she did not want to talk about this sooner," Tadros said. "It's OK for people to have different lengths of time to process things." Language is power when overcoming stigma about divorce. One thing people can do is lead with "I" statements to take accountability for their feelings, Tadros advised. This is easy to imagine, but hard in practice, she said. "Say 'I' in the beginning of a sentence, instead of 'you hurt me,'" Tadros explained. "Then you are speaking about your experiences and not attributing or shifting blame to your partner." Another step forward is to replace connotative terms like "break up" with neutral ones such as "uncoupling" to avoid pointing fingers or assuming the divorce is a loss, rather than a progressive moment for each person, she said. And this applies to friends and family of the couple, too. Gwyneth Paltrow and ex Chris Martin raised eyebrows for using this language, but they had a point. "Saying, 'they broke up' (implies) 'Oh, what happened?'" she said. Peers should ask open-ended questions, Tadros advised. Instead of asking a friend "Who did what?" trying leading with "How are you both navigating this?" to provide a blame-free zone for them to express. These small changes can revolutionize divorce discourse from trading barbs to supporting individuals, Tadros said. The result? People who leave relationships feel less isolated and more empowered to start their next chapter. "People cannot support us unless they know what we're going through," said Carr. But it's important not to offer unsolicited advice to a divorcing friend, she added. Let them ask for what they need on their own time. In case you missed: Michelle Obama says Barack Obama divorce rumor reactions are like 'the apocalypse' "There are many reasons people divorce, and some will be more painful than others," said Carr, and people may need professional help to work through trauma. But there's hope in the aftermath. Guthrie herself went on to marry Michael Feldman in 2014. But it is completely normal for anyone to take some time as Guthrie did to recover and make sense of what the marriage meant. "Often times there's guilt to deal with, and that feeling of failure," Carr said. "When (marriage) goes away, they have to rethink every aspect of their future ... That loss of innocence can be really emotionally powerful." This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Savannah Guthrie talks divorce: Why she shouldn't be ashamed

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