logo
‘Retrenched at 48, I was worried I couldn't support my kids and ailing father'

‘Retrenched at 48, I was worried I couldn't support my kids and ailing father'

Straits Times24-06-2025
Holding on to memories, Madam Nurhani Zailani Shatifan reflects on her caregiving journey with her late father, whose kain pelikat (patterned sarong) she still keeps. PHOTO: SPH MEDIA
BRANDED CONTENT 'Retrenched at 48, I was worried I couldn't support my kids and ailing father' Being part of the sandwiched generation, this business school executive is grateful for initiatives that have helped alleviate caregiving pressures and restart her career
After working for three decades in the travel industry, Madam Nurhani Zailani Shatifan was suddenly retrenched. It was 2020, and the Covid-19 pandemic had hit the travel sector hard.
'I felt angry and asked 'why me?'', recalls the former meetings and events manager, who was 48 at the time.
Shock soon gave way to anxiety. Three of her five children were still dependent on her – her youngest was preparing for the Primary School Leaving Examinations that year – and she was caring for her bedridden father. Her mother, who had also been bedridden, had passed away earlier that January.
Like many in the sandwiched generation, Madam Nurhani was caught in the middle – supporting her elderly parents while raising her own children, all while dealing with a sudden job loss.
Although her husband remained employed, she feared they would not be able to cope on a reduced household income.
She had been the primary caregiver to her parents, especially in their final years. While her children – four boys and one girl, now aged between 17 and 31 – helped out where they could, and a reliable domestic helper eased some of the load, the emotional and logistical demands remained heavy.
Bedridden after a major stroke in 2014, Madam Nurhani's father was lovingly cared for by the whole family – including her youngest children, who would play 'doctor' by his side.
PHOTO: COURTESY OF NURHANI ZAILANI SHATIFAN
'My dad was always joking and laughing. But in 2014, after his third stroke took away his ability to speak, he became emotionally fragile,' she says. 'It broke my heart not to hear him laugh anymore but I knew I had to stay strong for him and everyone else.'
To reduce expenses, Madam Nurhani and her husband sold their Housing Board executive apartment and moved into a four-room flat in Pasir Ris.
She says: 'It was a significant lifestyle shift, downsizing from a spacious home to a smaller flat and to make room for our five grown-up children and my father. It wasn't an easy decision.'
Support that made the load more bearable
Thankfully, on the caregiving front, Madam Nurhani had already been receiving financial support through the Agency for Integrated Care (AIC). She was first introduced to these services in 2014, when a doctor advised her to speak with a social worker following her father's third stroke.
The Home Caregiving Grant (HCG) offers a monthly cash payout for caregiving expenses, while the Seniors' Mobility and Enabling Fund (SMF) helps seniors afford mobility devices as well as home healthcare items.
From January 2026, further enhancements will be implemented progressively to both schemes. Eligible caregivers will receive up to $600 a month under HCG, and coverage of SMF will be expanded.
Her mother, who suffered a stroke in 2016, moved in with her soon after.
Through Home Medical and Home Nursing services, a doctor visited Madam Nurhani's parents every three months.
'Dad was the first to start receiving home care services in the same year as his stroke,' she explains. 'Since we'd already gone through the application process before, applying for mum was faster and more straightforward.'
With her husband and children by her side, Madam Nurhani weathered the storm of retrenchment, grief and caregiving, emerging stronger as she embraced upskilling and a new career.
PHOTO: SPH MEDIA
Besides the doctor, a nurse also supported with overall home care. This included cleaning, changing her father's nasogastric (NGT) tube once a month, and assisting with his thrice-weekly baths.
These home-based services became even more critical as her parents eventually found hospital visits by private ambulance increasingly difficult.
Says Madam Nurhani: 'That support truly became a lifesaver.'
With the Caregivers Training Grant, she had also enrolled her helper in accredited courses to improve care quality at home.
'She learnt to change my father's diapers without straining her back, and how to administer his milk through the NGT tube,' she explains. 'These made a big difference – not just in her ability to care for him effectively but also for my father's comfort.'
Having these services in place gave Madam Nurhani the space – and peace of mind – to eventually rebuild her career.
Reclaiming her career confidence
Following her retrenchment, Madam Nurhani took proactive steps to upskill. She enrolled in a SkillsFuture-funded diploma in leadership and people management at SSTC Institute. Wanting to pivot industries, she also took up the Real Estate Salesperson course using her SkillsFuture credits.
'I believe that lifelong learning is very important for everyone to keep up with what's happening around the world, especially now with AI,' she says. 'So I always encourage everyone, including my husband, to take up courses.'
When her father passed away in 2022, she felt ready to re-enter the workforce in earnest.
Yet, despite 30 years of experience and new qualifications, her job applications went unanswered. 'I wondered what went wrong,' she recalls.
Career coaching gave Madam Nurhani (far left) the confidence to start over; today, she's a senior coordinator at Insead Asia Campus, where she's had opportunities to travel to the business school's Europe campus in France for work.
PHOTO: COURTESY OF NURHANI ZAILANI SHATIFAN
The turning point came when she reached out to Workforce Singapore (WSG) and was referred to a career coach from Ingeus, a WSG-appointed provider. 'I wanted to understand why I couldn't even land a job interview and thought 'why not give this a try?'' Madam Nurhani recalls.
Her career coach quickly spotted the gaps and helped her refine her job search strategy – starting with condensing her eight-page resume into a sharper, two-page version tailored to specific roles.
'She also guided me through interview preparation, emphasised the importance of preparing thoughtful questions and pointed me to workshops to rebuild my confidence after being out of work for two years,' adds Madam Nurhani.
Among them was Mendaki's Women@Work programme, where she picked up practical tips on grooming, virtual interviews and workplace communication.
Enhanced help for jobseekers
How Workforce Singapore's (WSG) upgraded suite of schemes and tools can help you land your next job more easily
In addition to WSG's career coaching services, individuals who lose their jobs unexpectedly can tap on the newly launched SkillsFuture Jobseeker Support scheme, which provides up to $6,000 over six months while they actively search for jobs and upskill.
Jobseekers can also access personalised job and course recommendations via WSG's CareersFinder tool, available on the MyCareersFuture online job portal. The tool analyses the individual user's profile and helps them gain insight into potential career paths and the skills required.
Within the year, her persistence paid off. Madam Nurhani was hired as a senior coordinator at Insead Asia Campus in Singapore, part of the business school's network spanning Europe, Asia and the Middle East.
In her new role, she leverages her prior work experience to manage events, lead student-driven fundraising campaigns and coordinate meetings across teams.
Last year, she travelled to Insead's Europe campus in France to support its reunion events – marking a full-circle moment from once planning trips for others to now gaining international experience herself.
In her role, Madam Nurhani also facilitates and coordinates events for Insead's Robin Hood Campaign, supporting the MBA students' fundraising efforts.
PHOTO: COURTESY OF NURHANI ZAILANI SHATIFAN
Having found her footing, Madam Nurhani is committed to helping others do the same. She mentors women looking to return to the workforce through the Women Supporting Women Mentorship Programme by NTUC U Women and Family – a programme that she has also benefitted from herself.
'There's always light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long it is,' she says. 'What keeps me going is knowing that I did something for myself – and showing my children that if you put your heart into something, there's nothing you can't do.'
Find out the schedule of Together, for Better Roadshows to discover how Forward Singapore schemes and programmes can help support Singaporeans at every stage of life.
In partnership with gov.sg
Join ST's WhatsApp Channel and get the latest news and must-reads.
Orange background

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Comments

No comments yet...

Related Articles

‘Since moving to NZ, our quality of life has improved,' ICU Nurse Couple On Why They Moved Abroad
‘Since moving to NZ, our quality of life has improved,' ICU Nurse Couple On Why They Moved Abroad

Sassy Mama

time7 days ago

  • Sassy Mama

‘Since moving to NZ, our quality of life has improved,' ICU Nurse Couple On Why They Moved Abroad

'There's much better work-life balance and family time. It's a dream come true, something we couldn't afford in Singapore as average income earners.' Singaporean parents Brandon Chia, a Nurse Educator at a public hospital, and JiarLin, a homemaker and former ICU Nurse, chat to us about life in New Zealand with their 4-year-old daughter and 1-year-old son. Although life can be challenging without their family and support network nearby, they are relishing spending more time as a family and rave about the better work-life balance and how they didn't need to pay fees when their son was born in NZ. Read more Overseas Family Stories here. When did you move to NZ and what were the reasons you decided to move there? Brandon moved to New Zealand in late 2022, and Lin and the kids joined him in early 2023 after Lin completed her work contract in Singapore. We decided to move because we wanted to spend more time with our daughter—our son wasn't born yet at that time. Back then, we were both working as registered nurses in an intensive care unit, doing rotating shifts, which meant we had very little time together as a family. Annual leave was allocated by ballot, so if we weren't assigned the same slot, it was hard to plan holidays. It was also difficult for one parent to navigate public transport with a stroller during peak hours. Financially, it didn't make sense for us to own a car in Singapore. We started looking for an 'alternative' lifestyle overseas. Since moving to NZ, our quality of life has improved. Lin is now able to stay home to care for the kids. We own a car and traded our apartment for a house with a small garden. Annual leave is easier to apply for—it's first come, first served—and we enjoy semi-flexible working hours. There's much better work-life balance and family time. It's a dream come true, something we couldn't afford in Singapore as average income earners. Why did you choose NZ? It was during the COVID-19 period that there was active recruitment of ICU-trained nurses, and New Zealand offered a straight-to-residence visa pathway for nurses. We had a short holiday in New Zealand with some friends and instantly fell in love with the stunning landscapes. One thing we really love about New Zealand is how accessible nature is. Within just a few hours' drive, you can explore beaches, rainforests, glaciers, geothermal hot springs, and snowy alpine environments. If we were still living in Singapore, it would be financially difficult to travel abroad to see these places. But here, it's easy to explore them by car. The kids learn so much more by experiencing these natural wonders in person rather than just reading about them in books! Professionally, I (Brandon) saw this as an opportunity to explore a different healthcare system, and it's been full of valuable learning experiences. Over the past 2.5 years, I've been fortunate to take on a senior nursing role as a Nurse Educator in acute stroke and vascular surgery. Were there any big adjustments you had to make when you first moved to NZ? One of the challenges we faced when we first moved here was finding a good rental home. We had to strike a balance between cost and the condition of the house. Cheaper rentals can get quite cold and damp during the cooler months, which isn't good for our health. At the same time, we didn't have the budget to rent a high-end place. So, we spent quite a bit of time speaking to various property agents and going through listings to find something that suited our needs. Thankfully, our landlord—who is also a hospital clinician—was kind enough to install extra insulation for us without increasing the rent. We feel truly blessed to have been able to purchase our own property this year, as renting isn't the most economical option in the long run. Tip: In New Zealand, having strong afternoon sun shining into the house is actually desirable (unlike in Singapore, where we try to avoid it!). This is because sunlight helps to warm the house naturally, reducing the need for expensive heating. We're also very thankful for the support we received from Brandon's church friend, Daniel, who had moved to New Zealand many years before us. He helped us with so many things—from finding affordable groceries to subscribing to cheaper electricity retailers. He even drove three hours across the mountains to help us move house! Now, we're paying it forward by supporting other Singaporeans and Malaysians who are new to the country. Favourite aspect about living in NZ? Definitely the proximity to nature and experiencing four seasons. Lin and I love the outdoors—it's just a 20-minute drive to the beach, 90 minutes to hot springs, and 2–3 hours to the Alps where we can enjoy the snow and maybe even learn to snowboard! Even short weekends are enough for a quick road trip around NZ. And the worst part? The time and cost involved in travelling back to Singapore or other countries due to NZ's location. We also miss Singaporean food, though we're thankful for a few Malaysian-Chinese restaurants in the city. How do you think parenting in NZ differs from Singapore? What do you appreciate most about it? There's less emphasis on academic achievement here. In Singapore, many parents hope their children will pursue white-collar careers. In NZ, from our conversations with other parents, blue-collar jobs like builders or electricians are respected and well-paid. We've also heard that the school curriculum here is not as intense. So, as Asian parents, we usually supplement with extra studies at home—like doing assessment books—but without the stress of school exams. What do you find is the hardest part of being a parent living in a foreign country? Lack of support from immediate family. However, we're fortunate to have a lovely Singaporean-Malaysian community here. We often gather at church and have received lots of support and useful advice from them. Your first child was born in SG while your son was born in NZ – any interesting differences in your experiences? Very different! In Singapore, we saw a senior consultant at a public hospital. She was patient with our questions, but each consultation lasted only around 10 minutes. In NZ, we didn't have to pay any fees, and the main person overseeing the antenatal period was a midwife. Each session lasted an hour—the first 15 minutes were casual conversations, followed by the usual checks. O&G doctors only get involved if the pregnancy is complicated or requires medical intervention. How do you and your partner juggle work and dividing up family roles? Brandon works full-time, and Lin is currently full-time at home. So far, this arrangement has worked really well for us. It is not possible to split the workload equally. Lin does most of the housework as she's based at home. But Brandon helps out with the housework when he's at home because looking after the kids is a 'full-time' job too! Lin tries to manage the interior of the house, whereas Brandon does the lawn and makes sure that the house exterior is well-maintained. How did Lin navigate the decision to leave a full-time job she was passionate about to become a stay-at-home mum? The very reason we moved to New Zealand was to escape the rat race and spend more quality time as a family. For Lin, this is a season where she wants to focus on nurturing our children, and it wasn't a difficult decision for her. The transition wasn't too hard, even though it goes against the Singaporean norm of having a dual-income household. We've also met other Singaporean families who moved here for the same reason. We've become close friends and continue to support and encourage one another. Is there something that you do to keep your children in touch with their Singaporean roots? We speak some Singlish at home and cook Singaporean food regularly. We also regularly video call our parents so that the kids can spend some time connecting with their grandparents. On raising multilingual children… It's quite a challenge, as our daughter naturally gravitates toward English because most of her preschool friends are monolingual. At home, we usually speak Mandarin, and the children's Sunday school at church is conducted in Mandarin too. What is the first thing you do each time you come back to Singapore? Go on a food tour—from local kopitiams to the Takashimaya food market and Newton Hawker Centre! What do you always bring back from Singapore for yourself and for your children? We bring back food products that meet NZ's biosecurity rules—like biscuits, Soup Restaurant's samsui ginger sauce, and Yakunkaya paste. Top five places in or around NZ you would recommend to parents travelling with kids and why. We're biased toward the South Island! Christchurch: A great base for day trips to Hanmer Springs or Akaroa. Lake Tekapo: Scenic views, hot pools, and one of the best places to stargaze. Queenstown: Iconic destination with loads of activities and great hikes nearby. Mt Cook: Get up close to the Alps! There are many short hikes and a beautiful campground with stunning views. Wanaka: A peaceful alpine town, perfect for relaxing. We often give recommendations on our Instagram based on what our followers enjoy—feel free to reach out and check out our reels! What's the one thing you would miss about NZ if you moved away? Being so close to nature! Even if we visit the same place, the view changes with the seasons. Best souvenir one could bring back from NZ: For a child: Whittaker's chocolate For a parent friend: Manuka honey What do you dread and look forward to most if you were to move back to Singapore? We'd dread the hot and humid weather. But we definitely look forward to affordable and delicious Singaporean food! How do you think Singaporeans can benefit from living overseas? Living abroad really broadens your perspective—from parenting styles to work culture and employer-employee relationships. In healthcare, we've also seen different models and approaches to nursing care. Follow the adventures of Brandon and Lin on their Instagram @ where they share about their travels and life in New Zealand. Read more Overseas Family Stories here.

Auto-wash for pet dogs sparks outrage among dog-loving netizens
Auto-wash for pet dogs sparks outrage among dog-loving netizens

New Paper

time7 days ago

  • New Paper

Auto-wash for pet dogs sparks outrage among dog-loving netizens

A service for bathing pet canines, billed as a spa for pets, has got dog-loving netizens hot under the collar. Just4pets_autowash launched its self-service pet-washing service on July 12 in Holland Drive where, instead of getting your pet cleaned, washed and groomed by a human, it gets placed in an auto-wash machine that resembles a washing machine for pets. The owners insist the machine is safe and prioritises "our furry friends' safety and comfort". "From gentle wash cycles to pet-friendly shampoos, conditioner and drying, we ensure a stress-free experience for your beloved companion," they said in a post. But netizens who watched the instructional video on Instagram disagree. Many said the dog looked visibly distressed, while others questioned how such a contraption could even be allowed here. The general view was that the enclosed washer with the water, shampoo and noise could traumitise dogs. Some worried about water and shampoo irritating their pets' eyes and ears. User @mollylunaduo wrote: "A huge NO. Why would I wanna subject my furkids to such treatment? Being tied up in a metal box, scared, stressed, not knowing what's coming, sprayed by jets of shampoo/conditioner and water at intervals and then being dried thereafter. The user added: "The sounds of all these in an enclosed environment as such is enough to make them panic. It's not about how safe it is and what type of shampoo is used. Tell us, how did you determine that it's 'stress-free' for the pets?" Another said: "Pets aren't objects - forcing them into a noisy, enclosed machine is stressful, confusing, and completely unnatural. No animal should have to endure that just for human convenience." One key selling point of the service was that it saved time. But pet owner YuJin Lim, 46, a busy sales and partnerships head and DJ, said he'd never use the machine on his dog. "No way! Dogs don't like to be caged up - it's traumatising for them. If I need to give my dog a wash, I will give it a proper shower treatment, and definitely not in a cage," said Mr Lim, who adopted a small mixed-breed named Pixie during the Covid-19 pandemic. Another Instagram commenter, @tehc_in_a_teacuppom, called the service "appallingly stressful" and questioned if it bordered on animal cruelty.

OK Chicken Rice to give Singapore's Pioneers 10,200 meals for free in celebration of SG60
OK Chicken Rice to give Singapore's Pioneers 10,200 meals for free in celebration of SG60

Independent Singapore

time17-07-2025

  • Independent Singapore

OK Chicken Rice to give Singapore's Pioneers 10,200 meals for free in celebration of SG60

FB screengrab/ OK Chicken Rice, Humfull Prawn Laksa SINGAPORE: On Wednesday (Jul 16), OK Chicken Rice announced in a Facebook post that it is celebrating Singapore's 60th birthday in a very special way, with a free meal for seniors. 'This is our heartfelt thank you to the pioneers who helped build Singapore. Let us celebrate you this SG60!' the post reads. OK Chicken Rice and Humfull Prawn Laksa is giving away a whopping 10,200 full servings of each senior's choice of its signature chicken rice or prawn laksa, starting from this Saturday, Jul 19, and going all the way up to National Day, Aug 9. 'Just drop by, snap a photo for our SG60 collage, and receive: A limited edition fan A complimentary meal (our signature chicken rice (roasted, steamed, or mayo/lemon) or chicken laksa) Happy National Day and thank you! From us to you!' OK Chicken Rice added. Photo from the Facebook account of OK Chicken Rice Photo from the Facebook account of Humfull Prawn Laksa Seniors who wish to avail of the promo need to simply take a selfie along with the fan and then send it in via WhatsApp. These photos are to become part of the chain's SG60 tribute collage, explained Daniel Tan, who owns OK Chicken Rice and Humfull Prawn Laksa, in a video on OK Chicken Rice's social media accounts. The free meal is open to Singaporean seniors aged 60 and above or those who were born in 1965 or earlier. Every senior may redeem either a chicken rice or laksa meal only once, and each of the OK Chicken Rice's participating 16 outlets will be giving away 60 of these meals per day, on a first-come, first-served basis, for a total of 600 redemptions per outlet. See also Pioneers Unsatisfied with Rollout of New Health Benefits Seniors must take note, however, that the chain noted in the terms and conditions of the promo that redeeming the free meals will not be allowed during peak hours between 12:00 and 2:00 p.m. and between 5:00 and 7:00 p.m. Also, these meals are meant for dine-in only. OK Chicken Rice and Humfull Prawn Laksa's participating outlets are located at: Ang Mo Kio, Bedok Reservoir View, Bukit Batok, Edgedale Plains, Eunos, Havelock Road, Hougang, Jurong East, Lengkok Bahru, Marsiling Lane, Punggol Walk, Tampines Mart, Teck Whye, Lorong 6 Toa Payoh, Woodlands Heights, and Yishun. /TISG Read also: After people posing as delivery riders steal orders, OK Chicken Rice owner says those who are hungry may simply ask them for a meal () => { const trigger = if ('IntersectionObserver' in window && trigger) { const observer = new IntersectionObserver((entries, observer) => { => { if ( { lazyLoader(); // You should define lazyLoader() elsewhere or inline here // Run once } }); }, { rootMargin: '800px', threshold: 0.1 }); } else { // Fallback setTimeout(lazyLoader, 3000); } });

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into a world of global content with local flavor? Download Daily8 app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store