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Not all men, but always a man

Not all men, but always a man

Express Tribune11-02-2025
Zarrar Khan's In Flames delivers a gripping narrative of what it's like to be a woman in Karachi, through its sound design, characters, and spatial scenery, offering a true soundscape of terror.
The first day of the 16th Karachi Literature Festival (KLF) on Friday 7th February, concluded appropriately around 10:15 pm with the screening of Zarrar Khan's 2023 directorial debut In Flames, a film that left me and my friend hyper-aware about having to travel back home in a ride with a stranger.
As I watched Ramesha Nawal and Bakhtawar Mazhar play mother-daughter duo Mariam and Fariha on screen, navigating the onslaught of creepy, abusive or simply annoying men in their lives, I couldn't help but reflect on my own relationship with my amma. There are so many things that are left unsaid between us, things we know affect and shape a big part of who we are, such as the reality of existing as a woman in this world, and more specifically, in this city of Karachi.
This reality is projected onto us both externally, through our bodies—how we perceive our own limbs—and internally, through our subconscious gestures. The hand we place across our neck when we feel a pair of eyes on our flesh, the desperate grip of our shawl as we pull it tighter around our chest (we anticipate the betrayal of a strong gust of wind).
My amma never sat me down to tell me what I should expect living as a woman in this world. Neither did her mother before her, and neither did Fariha do so for Mariam.
We are made aware of what we are in for solely through our experiences and confrontations with the unfiltered and screaming face of the world. We live this reality every day, and we are living manifestations of it - in our bones, the lines on our face, the fists of our hands.
Characters Mariam and Fariha not only confront the things unsaid between them, but confront the one character in the film that leaves no stone unturned in making us realise the frailty of our existence—Karachi.
Karachi, as a spirited, potent, and dynamic entity, emerges as the film's main antagonist. It is the current against which all the characters, even the perverted men, are flowing.
The sensorial depiction of the city is, for me, the film's most captivating element. The fervent sound design perfectly captures the ghutan—the acute suffocation we feel, as if a boulder sits on our chest, living in this vast, open-mouthed, overflowing city.
The eerie resonating whistle of a security guard patrolling the area at ungodly hours of the night is symbolic of the ironic terror that the image represents i.e. no guard can protect you from the horrors that haunt you from within, be it within your house or your mind.
Sometimes, the guard himself is part of the problem.
Moreover, the film beautifully portrays the city's gluttonous appetite to overload our senses. The haunting shadows cast by the lights—the green light blinking over Mariam's head as she stands on the balcony, tormented by images of her deceased father, her deceased boyfriend's hands choking her, and the deviant rickshaw driver revealing his perverse intentions—are all symbolic of the overwhelming nausea induced by this environment.
Despite the bleakness and apprehension that all of us would undoubtedly feel once we confront the absurd caricatured dangers of our world, In Flames reminds us that hope exists.
Hope exists in love—in Fariha's arms as she embraces her daughter after saving her from a traumatic experience with the twisted rickshaw driver. It lies in a mother's silent observation of the subtle worry lines between her child's eyes, the hand that brushes the sweaty, matted hair from her fevered little one's face.
Here's hoping we can stop hiding someday, drowning our sorrows in the ocean, sending our woes up in flames, their red-hot embers burning a formidable memory in their wake.
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Maya's mom' saves the day
Maya's mom' saves the day

Express Tribune

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Maya's mom' saves the day

Bakhtawar Mazhar: it is a name that will be on your lips if you, like so many others, have been enraptured by Parwarish, the drama turning the spotlight on the younger generation aching for control and independence. As Sadia – or 'Maya's mom', as she has been lovingly crowned by viewers online – Bakhtawar is one step removed from this aforementioned younger generation, but that in no way means that her impact on the show has had limited impact. Bakhtawar's Sadia has been winning hearts left, right and centre, sealing the deal in a viral scene as she goes almost feral protecting her daughter from a father on the warpath. And now, during an appearance on The Rafay Mahmood Podcast, the actor recalls how she was blown away after that particular scene spread like wildfire across social media. Impact of 'that' scene "When that scene went viral, people didn't even know my name," recalled the theatre veteran, known to film critics for her performance in Cannes film In Flames. "They would just refer to me as 'Maya's mom'." Being known purely as Aina Asif's character's mother caused the actor to smile, with Bakhtawar adding that the way she became entrenched in the minds of the show's fans left its mark on her. "People started leaving comments on YouTube clips. It didn't strike me that people were talking about me – what hit me was how they were talking about me, and why. 'Maya's mom', the way she stood for her daughters, the way she protected them – she was there for them. I liked that." But the impact of the emotional scene where 'Maya's mom' physically stands in the way of her husband beating their daughter ran far deeper than Bakhtawar could have ever predicted. "That opened up the floodgates to other things, and it was so emotional," shared Bakhtawar in awe. "That whole week, I was up weeping until 2AM after getting thousands of messages from people sharing their personal stories that were so painful." Unwitting confidante The thousands of messages pouring into Bakhtawar's inbox in the wake of her performance – from men and women, boys and girls – all stemmed back to one thing: parental abuse. "These were things that they didn't think they could share with anyone else, not even their close friends," explained the actor. "In our culture, there is this stigma of never badmouthing your parents – but they wrote to me. So many said to me, 'Please ma'am, this is not for sharing, this is only for your eyes, we are sharing because we feel the link. We have somehow connected with you." That connection, borne out of a scene in front of a camera that was in turn conceived in the mind of screenwriter Kiran Siddiqui, led to an invisible current flowing between Bakhtawar and those who had suffered beatings at the hands of their parents. "Someone wrote and said that when their mother took them, she, too, got beaten up – and they pointed out that in the real world, my character [Sadia] would have also got beaten up just for standing up for her child." Amongst the messages Bakhtawar found most painful, however, were the stories where it was mothers remained bystanders after watching their children suffering physical abuse. "Someone else said, 'My mother stood by and watched as I was beaten up by a belt. She did not say a word. She did not acknowledge it even the next morning. She just brushed it under the rug,'" related Bakhtawar. However, amid all the dark stories of childhood trauma, one particular message stood out – the account of a mother who took away a life lesson from watching the fictional Sadia becoming Maya's protector. "Someone wrote, 'I am a mother, I have daughters, and whenever my husband raises his voice at my daughters, I am in a dilemma about whether or not we should put up a united front and discipline together as a husband and wife, or if I should say something,'" recalled the Parwarish matriarch, as she stressed the importance of viewing matters through a child's lens. "[She added], 'Right now my daughters are young, but I'm so glad that I saw this scene, because now I see how important it is for children in that situation to know their mother is there for them.'" Not just women In a heartbreaking twist, Bakhtawar noted that it was not just women who bore the brunt of physical abuse in their homes; men, too, wrote to her of the times they had been beaten by their mothers, and how they have yet to move on from that trauma decades down the line. "One man wrote that his mother had beaten him up when he was eight years old just to appease the other elder women in the family," she remarked. "He said that his mother cried about it afterwards and apologised to him, but he said that he is now in his 30s and cannot forget how humiliated he felt in that moment, and how it has affected his self confidence even now." The tsunami of traumatic personal stories flooding Bakhtawar's inbox opened her eyes to the amount of invisible pain still being carted around by so many in society. "There were so many DMs," she recalled. "I felt I needed to call in the services of a psychologist for them, because I was not equipped, not trained to give them the response that they needed. What could I say to them?" Bakhtawar credits writer Kiran for sticking to the core of the story of Parwarish without adding unnecessary garnishing. She is adamant that without it, the impact of that scene that has struck so many would have been lost. "If Kiran had not written it with such honesty and added 'spice' to it, things would have been different," she maintained. "It was kept to the bare bones. There were no layers. She said this is how it is." With YouTube comments hailing Bakhtawar's "phenomenal" performance as "giving goosebumps", one thing is clear: the powerful scene where 'Maya's mom' becomes a tour de force has secured a place in the hearts of viewers – for reasons rooted in more than just acting alone.

‘Maya's mom' saves the day in ‘Parwarish' and beyond
‘Maya's mom' saves the day in ‘Parwarish' and beyond

Express Tribune

time04-07-2025

  • Express Tribune

‘Maya's mom' saves the day in ‘Parwarish' and beyond

Bakhtawar Mazhar: it is a name that will be on your lips if you, like so many others, have been enraptured by Parwarish, the drama turning the spotlight on the younger generation aching for control and independence. As Sadia - or 'Maya's mom', as she has been lovingly crowned by viewers online - Bakhtawar is one step removed from this aforementioned younger generation, but that in no way means that her impact on the show has had limited impact. Bakhtawar's Sadia has been winning hearts left, right and centre, sealing the deal in a viral scene as she goes almost feral protecting her daughter from a father on the warpath. And now, during an appearance on The Rafay Mahmood Podcast, the actor recalls how she was blown away after that particular scene spread like wildfire across social media. Impact of 'that' scene 'When that scene went viral, people didn't even know my name,' recalled the theatre veteran, known to film critics for her performance in Cannes film In Flames. 'They would just refer to me as 'Maya's mom'.' Being known purely as Aina Asif's character's mother caused the actor to smile, with Bakhtawar adding that the way she became entrenched in the minds of the show's fans left its mark on her. 'People started leaving comments on YouTube clips. It didn't strike me that people were talking about me - what hit me was how they were talking about me, and why. 'Maya's mom', the way she stood for her daughters, the way she protected them - she was there for them. I liked that.' But the impact of the emotional scene where 'Maya's mom' physically stands in the way of her husband beating their daughter ran far deeper than Bakhtawar could have ever predicted. 'That opened up the floodgates to other things, and it was so emotional,' shared Bakhtawar in awe. 'That whole week, I was up weeping until 2AM after getting thousands of messages from people sharing their personal stories that were so painful.' An unwitting confidante The thousands of messages pouring into Bakhtawar's inbox in the wake of her performance - from men and women, boys and girls - all stemmed back to one thing: parental abuse. 'These were things that they didn't think they could share with anyone else, not even their close friends,' explained the actor. 'In our culture, there is this stigma of never badmouthing your parents - but they wrote to me. So many said to me, 'Please ma'am, this is not for sharing, this is only for your eyes, we are sharing because we feel the link. We have somehow connected with you.' That connection, borne out of a scene in front of a camera that was in turn conceived in the mind of screenwriter Kiran Siddiqui, led to an invisible current flowing between Bakhtawar and those who had suffered beatings at the hands of their parents. 'Someone wrote and said that when their mother took them, she, too, got beaten up - and they pointed out that in the real world, my character [Sadia] would have also got beaten up just for standing up for her child.' Amongst the messages Bakhtawar found most painful, however, were the stories where it was mothers remained bystanders after watching their children suffering physical abuse. 'Someone else said, 'My mother stood by and watched as I was beaten up by a belt. She did not say a word. She did not acknowledge it even the next morning. She just brushed it under the rug,'' related Bakhtawar. However, amid all the dark stories of childhood trauma, one particular message stood out - the account of a mother who took away a life lesson from watching the fictional Sadia becoming Maya's protector. 'Someone wrote, 'I am a mother, I have daughters, and whenever my husband raises his voice at my daughters, I am in a dilemma about whether or not we should put up a united front and discipline together as a husband and wife, or if I should say something,'' recalled the Parwarish matriarch, as she stressed the importance of viewing matters through a child's lens. '[She added], 'Right now my daughters are young, but I'm so glad that I saw this scene, because now I see how important it is for children in that situation to know their mother is there for them.'' Not just women In a heartbreaking twist, Bakhtawar noted that it was not just women who bore the brunt of physical abuse in their homes; men, too, wrote to her of the times they had been beaten by their mothers, and how they have yet to move on from that trauma decades down the line. 'One man wrote that his mother had beaten him up when he was eight years old just to appease the other elder women in the family,' she remarked. 'He said that his mother cried about it afterwards and apologised to him, but he said that he is now in his 30s and cannot forget how humiliated he felt in that moment, and how it has affected his self confidence even now.' The tsunami of traumatic personal stories flooding Bakhtawar's inbox opened her eyes to the amount of invisible pain still being carted around by so many in society. 'There were so many DMs,' she recalled. 'I felt I needed to call in the services of a psychologist for them, because I was not equipped, not trained to give them the response that they needed. What could I say to them?' Bakhtawar credits writer Kiran for sticking to the core of the story of Parwarish without adding unnecessary garnishing. She is adamant that without it, the impact of that scene that has struck so many would have been lost. 'If Kiran had not written it with such honesty and added 'spice' to it, things would have been different,' she maintained. 'It was kept to the bare bones. There were no layers. She said this is how it is.' With YouTube comments hailing Bakhtawar's 'phenomenal' performance as 'giving goosebumps', one thing is clear: the powerful scene where 'Maya's mom' becomes a tour de force has secured a place in the hearts of Parwarish fans - for reasons rooted in more than just acting alone. Have something to add to the story? Share it in the comments below.

Not all men, but always a man
Not all men, but always a man

Express Tribune

time11-02-2025

  • Express Tribune

Not all men, but always a man

Zarrar Khan's In Flames delivers a gripping narrative of what it's like to be a woman in Karachi, through its sound design, characters, and spatial scenery, offering a true soundscape of terror. The first day of the 16th Karachi Literature Festival (KLF) on Friday 7th February, concluded appropriately around 10:15 pm with the screening of Zarrar Khan's 2023 directorial debut In Flames, a film that left me and my friend hyper-aware about having to travel back home in a ride with a stranger. As I watched Ramesha Nawal and Bakhtawar Mazhar play mother-daughter duo Mariam and Fariha on screen, navigating the onslaught of creepy, abusive or simply annoying men in their lives, I couldn't help but reflect on my own relationship with my amma. There are so many things that are left unsaid between us, things we know affect and shape a big part of who we are, such as the reality of existing as a woman in this world, and more specifically, in this city of Karachi. This reality is projected onto us both externally, through our bodies—how we perceive our own limbs—and internally, through our subconscious gestures. The hand we place across our neck when we feel a pair of eyes on our flesh, the desperate grip of our shawl as we pull it tighter around our chest (we anticipate the betrayal of a strong gust of wind). My amma never sat me down to tell me what I should expect living as a woman in this world. Neither did her mother before her, and neither did Fariha do so for Mariam. We are made aware of what we are in for solely through our experiences and confrontations with the unfiltered and screaming face of the world. We live this reality every day, and we are living manifestations of it - in our bones, the lines on our face, the fists of our hands. Characters Mariam and Fariha not only confront the things unsaid between them, but confront the one character in the film that leaves no stone unturned in making us realise the frailty of our existence—Karachi. Karachi, as a spirited, potent, and dynamic entity, emerges as the film's main antagonist. It is the current against which all the characters, even the perverted men, are flowing. The sensorial depiction of the city is, for me, the film's most captivating element. The fervent sound design perfectly captures the ghutan—the acute suffocation we feel, as if a boulder sits on our chest, living in this vast, open-mouthed, overflowing city. The eerie resonating whistle of a security guard patrolling the area at ungodly hours of the night is symbolic of the ironic terror that the image represents i.e. no guard can protect you from the horrors that haunt you from within, be it within your house or your mind. Sometimes, the guard himself is part of the problem. Moreover, the film beautifully portrays the city's gluttonous appetite to overload our senses. The haunting shadows cast by the lights—the green light blinking over Mariam's head as she stands on the balcony, tormented by images of her deceased father, her deceased boyfriend's hands choking her, and the deviant rickshaw driver revealing his perverse intentions—are all symbolic of the overwhelming nausea induced by this environment. Despite the bleakness and apprehension that all of us would undoubtedly feel once we confront the absurd caricatured dangers of our world, In Flames reminds us that hope exists. Hope exists in love—in Fariha's arms as she embraces her daughter after saving her from a traumatic experience with the twisted rickshaw driver. It lies in a mother's silent observation of the subtle worry lines between her child's eyes, the hand that brushes the sweaty, matted hair from her fevered little one's face. Here's hoping we can stop hiding someday, drowning our sorrows in the ocean, sending our woes up in flames, their red-hot embers burning a formidable memory in their wake.

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