I'm pregnant after affair with wealthy man but he won't take any responsibility… should I contact his mum?
DEAR DEIDRE I'm pregnant after affair with wealthy man but he won't take any responsibility… should I contact his mum?
Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window)
Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
DEAR DEIDRE: A PASSIONATE but short-lived affair with a wealthy man has ended with me now expecting his baby.
I am a 30-year-old single mum. I've been divorced for two years and have two beautiful daughters, aged seven and five.
One night I was lonely at home after they had gone to bed and I set myself up on a dating app.
It was quite encouraging to see the responses I got and it wasn't long before I had arranged to meet up with a guy.
He was 37, single and very, very good-looking.
He told me he was a financial adviser and he was clearly pretty well-off. We went to a bar for a few drinks and afterwards I went back to his penthouse flat.
We used condoms but one night I noticed the condom was torn.
Still, I thought it was safe and put any worries out of my head — until I missed my period. I was pregnant.
When I messaged him, he told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby or me. I was so shocked at his tone and messaged back to tell him I'd booked a termination.
Predictably he replied, telling me it was the right decision and to get rid.
But before my appointment, my maternal instincts kicked in and I couldn't go ahead with an abortion.
I told him I'd had a change of heart and cancelled the appointment. Since then I have sent him updates of my pregnancy including photos of ultrasound scans.
Dear Deidre: Cheating and can you get over it
It hasn't made any difference. He is adamant he doesn't want to be a father or take any responsibility.
He is from a wealthy background and I am certain he hasn't told anyone about this.
He is still on the dating app and acting as though nothing has happened. I know I can cope on my own and my daughters are excited at having another sibling.
I am wondering whether I should contact his mum and tell her she is going to be a grandmother.
Why should she miss out? Is this a good idea?
DEIDRE SAYS: The decision to tell his family must lie with him. You can't know how his mum will react.
He can't abandon you either. He has a legal obligation to pay towards his child's upkeep even if he doesn't want to be involved in their life.
Take a look at www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service.
He may also have a change of heart and want to become an involved dad once the baby is born.
Get in touch with Deidre
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
HE WANTS ME AS I'M A VIRGIN
DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER a perfect first date with a lovely guy, he has told me he only wants a casual, physical thing. I am not sure if this is such a bad idea.
I am 18 and he is 20. We met through a mutual friend a couple of weeks ago. I was so excited when he asked me out on a date.
We ended up going for a drink in town before heading off into our local park for an impromptu picnic.
It was so romantic and I thought it was the beginning of something really special. We talked about anything and everything and had loads of things in common.
Then he told me that he wasn't looking for a girlfriend. He just wants someone to hook up with occasionally and keep things casual.
I am still a virgin. He said that because of that he likes me even more.
He has promised to look after me and make our first time special but is it a good idea?
DEIDRE SAYS: This guy is investing nothing in you emotionally.
He doesn't want a girlfriend, he just wants sex and to be your first.
He has also made that pretty plain.
You owe him nothing, so only have sex when you are ready and when you are with the right guy.
You could be setting yourself up to get very hurt and feeling used.
Tell him being so casual just isn't your scene.
My support pack Learning About Relationships explains more.
SO REGRET FINISHING WITH HER
DEAR DEIDRE: SPLITTING up with my girlfriend was the worst decision I ever made.
I realised that I'd made a big mistake when she spotted me at a beer festival in town.
I am 34 and she is 33. We split up just over a year ago after being together for three years.
We just seemed to be drifting apart and things were stale – or so I thought at the time.
It was my decision to end our relationship, and I know she was heartbroken when I told her how I felt. We have been able to stay friends and I see her out and about.
She has a new guy now. She seems really happy with him whereas I have not been able to move on.
She told me they have plans to go to New Zealand next year.
It is a place I have also wanted to visit for many years. I know I made a terrible mistake in letting her go.
DEIDRE SAYS: Please don't beat yourself up over this. You made a decision that felt right at the time.
The chances are if you and she got back together you would soon feel the same way all over again.
She has put you behind her and you have to get on with your life. My support pack Moving On will help you to do this.
Start planning your own holiday now. It will give you something to look forward to.
There are lots of single traveller websites if you don't want to travel alone.
SPITEFUL EXES KEEPING KIDS AWAY FROM ME
DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter's mother says I can only see our girl for a few hours in the morning on my birthday, rather than having her stay with me overnight as originally planned.
It means she will miss out on seeing my parents too as they were going to arrive in time for a celebration dinner. I'm 37 and my daughter's ten.
I know my ex is doing it to punish me because I can't pay her this month.
I also have a son by a different woman. He is almost 13 but I barely see him at all.
His mother has virtually alienated him against me so all I get is an occasional text and a visit once in a blue moon.
I am doing my best to provide for both of my kids, but I have recently changed jobs and won't get my first wages for another week, which is why I can't pay my daughter's mum her monthly maintenance until later.
I know she will have twisted it and told my little girl that I don't care about her.
It is all lies but this is what she is like, as we had a bad break-up.
I'm in a bad way. I feel like everyone's against me. Sometimes I think it would just be the easier option for everyone if I ended it all.
DEIDRE SAYS: This is heartbreaking for you and your children too. It is cruel of your exes to deny you contact.
I wonder whether you gave your daughter's mum the heads-up that your money would be late this month. Tell her the cash will be coming soon.
If she won't speak to you, is there someone such as a friend or relative who can mediate between you? If not, mediation could really help (familymediationcouncil.org.uk).
For more advice check out Both Parents Matter (bothparentsmatter.org.uk, 0300 300 363).
If you continue to feel down, call the Samaritans (samaritans.org, 116 123) and please do see your GP too.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Scotsman
13 hours ago
- Scotsman
Watch: The incredible moment a 15ft baby basking shark was spotted swimming in Pittenweem harbour
A local cetacean enthusiast captured the huge basking shark on camera using his drone. Sign up to our Scotsman Rural News - A weekly of the Hay's Way tour of Scotland emailed direct to you. Sign up Thank you for signing up! Did you know with a Digital Subscription to The Scotsman, you can get unlimited access to the website including our premium content, as well as benefiting from fewer ads, loyalty rewards and much more. Learn More Sorry, there seem to be some issues. Please try again later. Submitting... A local man has captured the moment a 15ft baby basking shark was spotted swimming in a harbour in Fife. Fishermen first caught sight of the huge creature in Pittenweem harbour early on Wednesday morning, and quickly shared the discovery. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad 'I'd been up then gone back to my bed when my wife checked her phone and said 'there's a basking shark out there',' recalls David Thomson, 53, a keen shore watcher who runs a local Facebook group documenting cetacean sightings in the area. 'I shrugged my shoulders and tried to get back to sleep. And then she goes 'no, there really is - there's a video'.' Mr Thomson immediately grabbed his drone, cameras and binoculars and headed down to the bay. 'And there it was,' he said. 'There was no mistaking it. There was a 15ft-long basking shark less than 100m from the shore. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad David Thomson said there has been five or six basking shark sightings reported in the firth this year | David Thomson 'It was very close, swimming over the skerries between the rocks.' Mr Thomson said the tell-tale signs were the animal's fin and tail. He quickly recognised the shark was a juvenile, probably around one to two years old. As word of the discovery spread, onlookers gathered on the pier hoping to catch sight of the huge fish. 'The crowd just started to grow and grow, with people coming and going,' Mr Thomson said. 'Some people came all the way from Alloa. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad 'The shark was coming right to the pier and almost brushing against it. People were looking right down at it through the crystal clear water. 'Certainly for the east coast of Scotland, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see a basking shark so close in.' Mr Thomson is part of the Whale and Dolphin Conservation society, which runs shore watches in Pittenweem. He also runs the East Neuk Cetacean Watch Facebook page, which has around 5,000 members. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad He said that while basking shark sightings in the Firth of Forth were rare, with only between five and ten reported each year, they are getting more and more common. 'The way things are changing, we're seeing more and more,' he said. 'The environment is getting better for them. 'I've lived in Pittenwehm all my days and it's only the last two to three years I've seen basking sharks. It's brilliant to see what's beginning to come into the waters. 'We've seen Sei whales, Fin whales and Minke whales, and we get dolphins almost every day. The firth is beginning to become a hub for cetaceans.' Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad Later in the day, an adult basking shark was spotted with the baby, and a pod of dolphins were also spotted jumping around the animals. 'It was a crazy day and the reaction has been mad,' Mr Thomson said. 'The video has a quarter of a million views on one platform and about 150 thousand on another. It's great to see people's interest in it.' Basking sharks are mainly found around the Western Isles, where there are some of the world's largest aggregations of the species. They are also commonly spotted around the south-west of England, Wales and the Isle of Man.
Scottish Sun
13 hours ago
- Scottish Sun
Medieval knight's 1,000-year-old tomb is unearthed beneath ice cream shop in ‘insane' archaeological breakthrough
Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) A DEVELOPMENT at the site of an old ice cream shop has led to a major discovery. Archaeologists have unearthed what they believe to be the tomb of a medieval knight beneath the structure. 1 The remains of what is believed to be a medieval knight were discovered under an ice cream shop Credit: Facebook The remains were found under a busy street corner in Gdańsk, a city in northern Poland. This area is known for its rich history, with other archaeological dicoveries made at the same site. A statement from Poland's Provincial Council for the Protection of Monuments detailed the finding. Medieval era The grave is thought to be from either the 13th or 14th century, according to a report shared on the city's website. Read More On Archaeology STRUCK GOLD Breakthrough as ring unlocking secrets of 'vanished' kingdom is unearthed in UK It also revealed that the knight measured about 5-feet-6 and is estimated to have been about 40 years old at the time of his death. Researchers believe the man was a knight due to a hand-carved limestone tombstone over his grave, which depicted a knight holding a shield. Popular Mechanics reported that the coat of arms on the carved shield has worn away, meaning researchers are currently unable to determine who the knight served. While the city of Gdańsk was ruled by the Teutonic Knights in 1308, the buried knight could also have served a number of different rulers. According to experts, other contenders include a Sobieslaw dynasty or a German house. Researchers with the Polish archaeological company ArcheoScan have been studying the area since 2023. 'Once in a century' Pompeii discovery as ancient luxury SPA is saved from ashes with thermal baths & stunning mosaic This project took place after a popular local ice cream parlor, which had stood on the site for 60 years, was sold to developers. Developers are required by law to allow archaeologists to survey the site before any new structures could be built, according to Science in Poland. Previous discoveries The outlet reported that researchers had previously discovered the remains of a large wooden church at the site and over 200 burial sites and six tombstones. "What we're unearthing here is insane," Sylwia Kurzyńska, a member of the archaeological team, told the Polish Associated Press. She also revealed that a fragment of the knight's chainmail boot and leggings were preserved. The tombstone and skeleton have since been taken to the Archaeological Museum in Gdańsk, where they will undergo further study, reports Smithsonian Magazine. Researchers plan to learn more about who the knight was and where he came from. They said they hope to release more about their findings sometime in 2026. More on archaeology The remains of a lost Roman city have been uncovered on a popular holiday island. And the lost tomb of a 1,700-year-old king was uncovered in Mayan temple. Plus, the eerie "hybrid" skull that belonged to a "half human, half neanderthal girl". An ancient lost city from 3,500-years-ago that played home to the oldest civilization in the Americas' was uncovered in Peru. And AI has deciphered a hymn on a 4,000-year-old clay tablet, which is said unlock the mystery of the ancient city of Babylon.
Daily Mirror
15 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
How to clean your greasy extractor fan in just 5 minutes using 1 simple kitchen staple
Extractor fan filters are designed to collect grease, so it's no wonder they can become dirty over time, but cleaning them is easier than you may think You might have a spotless oven at the moment, but if you peek beneath your cooker hood, you could discover a rather different tale regarding your extractor fan filters. If it's been ages or you've never tackled this task, brace yourself for an unpleasant sight. The role of a cooker hood filter is to trap grease in the kitchen, so if it's functioning properly, it's bound to appear and feel oily. As time passes, the filter can become so clogged with grease and dirt that it stops working effectively, which is precisely why it's crucial to clean these filters regularly. Professional cleaner's 'most important' advice for a tidy home - and it's so easy Make 'easy' poached egg in just seconds without a frying pan or vinegar A sensible approach is to clean them every two to three months; though, if you use your hob frequently or cook fried food regularly, you might want to increase that to monthly sessions, reports the Express. However, if you rarely use your hob, you can probably extend this to several more months between cleanings. Posting on the Mrs Hinch Cleaning Tips and Tricks Facebook page, group members revealed their top techniques for cleaning extractor fans properly. Most suggested using either soda crystals or washing powder to remove grease from extractor fans. James Barclay-Smith advised: "Dissolve soda crystals in boiling water, add a good squirt of dish soap and use a sponge scourer or soak. Very good degreaser." Liz Ede wrote: "Put them in boiling hot water and sprinkle soda crystals on. Leave for five minutes before giving it a rinse." Rebecca Palmer shared her method, stating: "I'm very lazy, so soak mine in hot water and soda crystals and liquid for an hour or two. Then drain the water away, give them a rinse, and pat dry, then back up. Don't need scrubbing or anything else. This does a better job than the dishwasher did on mine." An anonymous user suggested: "Take it down and soak it in hot water and soda crystals, a good amount. After about five to 10 minutes, give it a gentle rub with a non-scratch scourer. You might need to use a small brush for the awkward parts." Rebecca Mippress advised: "Get a big tub and soak them in hot water and soda crystals for a couple of minutes." Sally Oldroyd recommended: "Pour in a cup of washing powder in warm water, just soak them, the grease comes straight off dead easy." Matt Del Rio offered his tip, saying: "Soak in biological laundry detergent and hot water in the sink for about half an hour. The grease dissolves and wipes away. Trust me." Wendy from Moral Fibres, a natural cleaning expert, suggests using soda crystals and laundry powder together when cleaning anything greasy, particularly extractor fan filters. "Your extractor fan filter full of grease doesn't have to be a big job to get it clean. All you need to do is dissolve two large spoons of soda crystals and three large spoons of laundry detergent in hot water." She advises soaking your extractor fan filters for around 20 minutes before wiping them down. She added: "I used to dread this job, but soda crystals really do make it easier without too much elbow grease."
