Women Who Married "The Rich One" For Financial Security Are Sharing What It's Like Now, And It's A Must-Read Conversation
Yahoo11 hours ago
Content warning: Discussions of abuse.
Recently, Charlie Kirk told a crowd of young women that they should reconsider pursuing an "MRS degree" when going to college — an outdated, sexist term popularized in the twentieth century to mock women who supposedly went to college just to find a husband.
The thing is, in a society where women couldn't open bank accounts, buy homes, or build credit without a man's signature, in many ways, marriage was often the sole path to social and financial security. Even today, the gender pay gap persists, with women making on average just 84 cents to every dollar earned by men. And when women step away from the workforce to have children, they often return to lower salaries and limited opportunities — aka, the "motherhood penalty" — whereas when men become fathers, their wages increase, also the phenomenon known as the "fatherhood premium."
In a culture that still rewards men as the default breadwinners and punishes women economically for doing the same work (or even tells them outright they should just pursue a MRS degree instead), it's not surprising that some view marriage as a financial safeguard. Not necessarily because they want to (despite the tired and often overused "golddigger" stereotype), but sometimes because they feel they have to.
So, when someone on Reddit asked women who married "the rich one" for financial stability to share what life's been like now, it opened up a revealing and necessary conversation about the systemic pressures at play shaping women's choices. The answers highlight what happens when marriage becomes a form of economic survival — and, more often than not, just how often the tale unravels.
Here's what they shared:
1."I'll speak for my mom. She thought she was marrying the rich one. My dad tried to talk her out of it. He even offered to pay her more than child support for her not to do it (not out of love...it's just who my dad is). That pissed her off and she married him anyway. I won't go into details about the stuff I went through, but he was not a safe person to be around. He was a big-time manipulator. He tied my mom up with 6 million dollars in debt. She had no idea until she wanted a divorce — that's when she found out he was putting his debt in her name for his failing businesses."
"She ended up having to file for bankruptcy to leave him, but the divorce took years. He would constantly hire new lawyers just to keep the process going. She almost didn't make it out in one piece mentally. It's been a long road for her. She hasn't made the best decisions in relationships (I had to cut her out of my life for a while because of it), but after some very extensive therapy, she's doing much better."
—Ok_Ad_5658
2."My first husband was very wealthy. When we were dating, that was fun, and he loved to spoil me and treat me to awesome things. After we were married, he became very controlling and definitely used his wealth and money to control and assert his dominance over me. I became very anxious and cried all the time, went on antidepressants, and went to therapy."
"Eventually, he became physically intimidating, and I left him. Miraculously, all the depression and anxiety went away. Now I'm happily married, middle-class, stable, and married to the kind one. Better choice."
—DaphneDork
3."I gave up my acting/directing career to be with an ex-partner, as I thought that I wouldn't succeed in my career, and I resigned myself to a life of normality. When I got dumped, the biggest thing that hurt was that I chose the safe path, and things still didn't work out. So the moral of the story is, don't give up your passions and career for a so-called 'normal life,' because when the worst happens, you're only left with yourself, and your previous skills and experience, and it can be hard to re-enter the workforce. I got lucky, and I'm much happier now pursuing the things I truly want."
—notthewoopers
4."I was engaged to the 'rich one' and got away. It was NOT WORTH IT. The abuse — physical, sexual, emotional, mental, etc. It was extremely lonely...I always remember being sad on vacation. I'm on an expensive vacation in a beautiful resort, where normal people would be thrilled. But instead I was miserable and alone and honestly pissed that our usual routines were on hold and therefore I was expected to be in his presence all day."
"Do not do it. Life is too short for misery, and you deserve true love. Money is just money — it can come and go. Love and happiness are what life is about. People will say all day, 'Well, I don't pay any bills.' There isn't a bill in this world that costs more than my peace and happiness."
—Born_Boysenberry4327
5."A bit different. He became rich while we dated. We were both not working when we met. I was on leave from teaching after a death in my family. He had just moved to my city and was looking for work. He was a freelance graphic designer and landed a gig at a start-up company. This was around 2010, when mobile apps were just taking off, and things like Instagram were just coming out. Design after design, he won awards, and the company blew up because of him. Life was fun when there was money, parties, and award ceremonies. After a bit, drugs and drinking got in his way, he became more abusive, tried to kill me, and I left. He was fired and blacklisted."
—WearyEnthusiasm6643
6."I am highly educated and have a successful career of my own, but he had built wealth that was far beyond anything I'd ever make. We married young, when he was setting up his company. I encouraged him, and we had a close partnership for many years. Eventually, he wanted more and more control and wanted me to be more of a trophy wife, less of a partner."
"He had an affair, and we got divorced. He attacked me through expensive lawyers, and I made it out with my own savings and pocket change. I've gotten over it and am on a totally different path in life, prioritizing my career and being more open to living for joy and purpose in my own life. I'm single, don't know if I'll ever remarry or have a family, but not concerned with it at the moment. What's for you is for you."
–flechadeoro
7."My friend married a guy she did like...but she was also looking for someone wealthy (she is also highly educated with a good job that could earn well). Honestly? I'm not sure how much of it was love for her or how much of it was wanting a kid before she got too old. I think she didn't really know him...He ended up being very controlling. He wouldn't let her change anything about the house. She got pregnant and he was the least supportive partner you can imagine."
"He wouldn't keep pregnancy-safe food in the house and would fill the fridge with things you're not meant to eat while pregnant. He didn't want to pay for her to stay home, but was also unsatisfied if she worked. He didn't want her to be close to family, whilst he had zero boundaries with his own family. Whilst she was postpartum, he didn't want her to work...but he also basically refused to pay for anything for the baby.
People assume that they'll marry a rich person who is generous, but many rich people only really care for themselves, or are happy to use it as a control tactic. She left him before their baby was 1 year old. And naturally, he ended up a nightmare to co-parent with. Because he doesn't understand kids and wants his baby to behave like some idealized older child rather than in a way that kids that age actually behave."
—linerva
8."I met my ex in college. He was in a field that offered high incomes right after graduation, so while we were not rich we were very comfortable. He became very controlling and mean, and watched every penny I spent, getting upset if I bought an extra non-perishable grocery item because it was on sale. Mind you, he did not do any shopping or cooking. I waited probably too long to divorce him because I was worried about the big drop in income and stability. But I finally did it, and while it was tough financially for a long time, I was fine and so much happier without him."
—YouMustDoEverything
9."My friend married the 'rich one' because he is rich and she is living out the 'If you marry for money, you earn every penny' phrase. There is also not an insignificant age difference, the in-laws are assholes, the husband is a tightwad, and the family business is in a somewhat volatile industry dynamic. But he's rich, so she doesn't have to work outside the home, so she sort of got what she wanted?"
—ilikesimis
10."This is not the same thing, but I didn't marry for love; I married my husband because we were good partners. He was financially stable enough that I could stay at home with our daughter, which I think we both wanted. I think we have a different kind of love for each other that has grown over time, but it's not a very romantic relationship, and I'm honestly happier than I was when I was deeply in love in the past."
—I-Am-Willa
11."It's worked out well. I didn't pick him just because he's rich, but I've been with men similar in habit and compatibility to him who didn't have as much money. It's nice not to have to worry about whether we have enough money to pay the bills. And we can vacation where we want because we want to, and not pick places just because they are budget-friendly. The kids can participate in the activities they want and won't have to pick a lower-tier college in the interest of saving us money or reducing their own student loan burden. I do work because I want to, but I don't have to work jobs I hate or hours that suck because we have the household financial security to weather the storm of temporary unemployment."
"I really think it's just the guy...He doesn't hurt me. I think money gives people the means to be themselves, and my husband is a good guy to the core. He doesn't have the need or desire to control the narrative, which combined that desire with money, you have the perfect abusive tornado potential."
—azulsonador0309
12.And finally, "My husband isn't rich, but he makes good money, works really hard, is very responsible, and could afford to live on his own when we met. We got married for things other than money and love, but we do love each other. I was only 22 and I didn't go to college, so I wasn't financially stable in the same way. I worked and paid for everything I had and took care of my younger sister financially, but I lived with family and felt trapped. So it made sense getting married would help me, but the thing I wish I realized back then was not to become as financially dependent on him."
"We had a rough patch, and I realized I didn't have anything or anywhere to go if we got divorced. I recently returned to school to get out of dead-end jobs and have financial independence/security. Overall, I think people should check both boxes by picking someone you enjoy being around and actually like, as well as them being financially stable."
—corkblob
Did you marry "the rich one" for financial stability? What was the reality, and what do you wish you'd known before saying "I do"? Share your story in the comments.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, you can call SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) and find more resources here.
Recently, Charlie Kirk told a crowd of young women that they should reconsider pursuing an "MRS degree" when going to college — an outdated, sexist term popularized in the twentieth century to mock women who supposedly went to college just to find a husband.
The thing is, in a society where women couldn't open bank accounts, buy homes, or build credit without a man's signature, in many ways, marriage was often the sole path to social and financial security. Even today, the gender pay gap persists, with women making on average just 84 cents to every dollar earned by men. And when women step away from the workforce to have children, they often return to lower salaries and limited opportunities — aka, the "motherhood penalty" — whereas when men become fathers, their wages increase, also the phenomenon known as the "fatherhood premium."
In a culture that still rewards men as the default breadwinners and punishes women economically for doing the same work (or even tells them outright they should just pursue a MRS degree instead), it's not surprising that some view marriage as a financial safeguard. Not necessarily because they want to (despite the tired and often overused "golddigger" stereotype), but sometimes because they feel they have to.
So, when someone on Reddit asked women who married "the rich one" for financial stability to share what life's been like now, it opened up a revealing and necessary conversation about the systemic pressures at play shaping women's choices. The answers highlight what happens when marriage becomes a form of economic survival — and, more often than not, just how often the tale unravels.
Here's what they shared:
1."I'll speak for my mom. She thought she was marrying the rich one. My dad tried to talk her out of it. He even offered to pay her more than child support for her not to do it (not out of love...it's just who my dad is). That pissed her off and she married him anyway. I won't go into details about the stuff I went through, but he was not a safe person to be around. He was a big-time manipulator. He tied my mom up with 6 million dollars in debt. She had no idea until she wanted a divorce — that's when she found out he was putting his debt in her name for his failing businesses."
"She ended up having to file for bankruptcy to leave him, but the divorce took years. He would constantly hire new lawyers just to keep the process going. She almost didn't make it out in one piece mentally. It's been a long road for her. She hasn't made the best decisions in relationships (I had to cut her out of my life for a while because of it), but after some very extensive therapy, she's doing much better."
—Ok_Ad_5658
2."My first husband was very wealthy. When we were dating, that was fun, and he loved to spoil me and treat me to awesome things. After we were married, he became very controlling and definitely used his wealth and money to control and assert his dominance over me. I became very anxious and cried all the time, went on antidepressants, and went to therapy."
"Eventually, he became physically intimidating, and I left him. Miraculously, all the depression and anxiety went away. Now I'm happily married, middle-class, stable, and married to the kind one. Better choice."
—DaphneDork
3."I gave up my acting/directing career to be with an ex-partner, as I thought that I wouldn't succeed in my career, and I resigned myself to a life of normality. When I got dumped, the biggest thing that hurt was that I chose the safe path, and things still didn't work out. So the moral of the story is, don't give up your passions and career for a so-called 'normal life,' because when the worst happens, you're only left with yourself, and your previous skills and experience, and it can be hard to re-enter the workforce. I got lucky, and I'm much happier now pursuing the things I truly want."
—notthewoopers
4."I was engaged to the 'rich one' and got away. It was NOT WORTH IT. The abuse — physical, sexual, emotional, mental, etc. It was extremely lonely...I always remember being sad on vacation. I'm on an expensive vacation in a beautiful resort, where normal people would be thrilled. But instead I was miserable and alone and honestly pissed that our usual routines were on hold and therefore I was expected to be in his presence all day."
"Do not do it. Life is too short for misery, and you deserve true love. Money is just money — it can come and go. Love and happiness are what life is about. People will say all day, 'Well, I don't pay any bills.' There isn't a bill in this world that costs more than my peace and happiness."
—Born_Boysenberry4327
5."A bit different. He became rich while we dated. We were both not working when we met. I was on leave from teaching after a death in my family. He had just moved to my city and was looking for work. He was a freelance graphic designer and landed a gig at a start-up company. This was around 2010, when mobile apps were just taking off, and things like Instagram were just coming out. Design after design, he won awards, and the company blew up because of him. Life was fun when there was money, parties, and award ceremonies. After a bit, drugs and drinking got in his way, he became more abusive, tried to kill me, and I left. He was fired and blacklisted."
—WearyEnthusiasm6643
6."I am highly educated and have a successful career of my own, but he had built wealth that was far beyond anything I'd ever make. We married young, when he was setting up his company. I encouraged him, and we had a close partnership for many years. Eventually, he wanted more and more control and wanted me to be more of a trophy wife, less of a partner."
"He had an affair, and we got divorced. He attacked me through expensive lawyers, and I made it out with my own savings and pocket change. I've gotten over it and am on a totally different path in life, prioritizing my career and being more open to living for joy and purpose in my own life. I'm single, don't know if I'll ever remarry or have a family, but not concerned with it at the moment. What's for you is for you."
–flechadeoro
7."My friend married a guy she did like...but she was also looking for someone wealthy (she is also highly educated with a good job that could earn well). Honestly? I'm not sure how much of it was love for her or how much of it was wanting a kid before she got too old. I think she didn't really know him...He ended up being very controlling. He wouldn't let her change anything about the house. She got pregnant and he was the least supportive partner you can imagine."
"He wouldn't keep pregnancy-safe food in the house and would fill the fridge with things you're not meant to eat while pregnant. He didn't want to pay for her to stay home, but was also unsatisfied if she worked. He didn't want her to be close to family, whilst he had zero boundaries with his own family. Whilst she was postpartum, he didn't want her to work...but he also basically refused to pay for anything for the baby.
People assume that they'll marry a rich person who is generous, but many rich people only really care for themselves, or are happy to use it as a control tactic. She left him before their baby was 1 year old. And naturally, he ended up a nightmare to co-parent with. Because he doesn't understand kids and wants his baby to behave like some idealized older child rather than in a way that kids that age actually behave."
—linerva
8."I met my ex in college. He was in a field that offered high incomes right after graduation, so while we were not rich we were very comfortable. He became very controlling and mean, and watched every penny I spent, getting upset if I bought an extra non-perishable grocery item because it was on sale. Mind you, he did not do any shopping or cooking. I waited probably too long to divorce him because I was worried about the big drop in income and stability. But I finally did it, and while it was tough financially for a long time, I was fine and so much happier without him."
—YouMustDoEverything
9."My friend married the 'rich one' because he is rich and she is living out the 'If you marry for money, you earn every penny' phrase. There is also not an insignificant age difference, the in-laws are assholes, the husband is a tightwad, and the family business is in a somewhat volatile industry dynamic. But he's rich, so she doesn't have to work outside the home, so she sort of got what she wanted?"
—ilikesimis
10."This is not the same thing, but I didn't marry for love; I married my husband because we were good partners. He was financially stable enough that I could stay at home with our daughter, which I think we both wanted. I think we have a different kind of love for each other that has grown over time, but it's not a very romantic relationship, and I'm honestly happier than I was when I was deeply in love in the past."
—I-Am-Willa
11."It's worked out well. I didn't pick him just because he's rich, but I've been with men similar in habit and compatibility to him who didn't have as much money. It's nice not to have to worry about whether we have enough money to pay the bills. And we can vacation where we want because we want to, and not pick places just because they are budget-friendly. The kids can participate in the activities they want and won't have to pick a lower-tier college in the interest of saving us money or reducing their own student loan burden. I do work because I want to, but I don't have to work jobs I hate or hours that suck because we have the household financial security to weather the storm of temporary unemployment."
"I really think it's just the guy...He doesn't hurt me. I think money gives people the means to be themselves, and my husband is a good guy to the core. He doesn't have the need or desire to control the narrative, which combined that desire with money, you have the perfect abusive tornado potential."
—azulsonador0309
12.And finally, "My husband isn't rich, but he makes good money, works really hard, is very responsible, and could afford to live on his own when we met. We got married for things other than money and love, but we do love each other. I was only 22 and I didn't go to college, so I wasn't financially stable in the same way. I worked and paid for everything I had and took care of my younger sister financially, but I lived with family and felt trapped. So it made sense getting married would help me, but the thing I wish I realized back then was not to become as financially dependent on him."
"We had a rough patch, and I realized I didn't have anything or anywhere to go if we got divorced. I recently returned to school to get out of dead-end jobs and have financial independence/security. Overall, I think people should check both boxes by picking someone you enjoy being around and actually like, as well as them being financially stable."
—corkblob
Did you marry "the rich one" for financial stability? What was the reality, and what do you wish you'd known before saying "I do"? Share your story in the comments.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, you can call SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) and find more resources here.
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