EXCLUSIVE Human traffickers' sickening ritual for virgins revealed by brave woman who was abducted at 17 and escaped to tell her incredible story
'I need to sleep with a light on or make sure I see the sun as I wake up, otherwise I'm in frantic mode and reliving my nightmare,' the now 45-year-old tells me.
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The Guardian
an hour ago
- The Guardian
‘They're holding me up and helping me get through': why campus welfare is there whenever you need it
University can be a fun and exciting experience, but it can also be challenging in different ways. When Becca Tenney began her occupational therapy degree at the University of Salford in 2024, she wasn't sure she'd make it through the year. A history of hospital admissions for an eating disorder and depression had left her apprehensive. 'Things had got really bad,' she says. 'But I approached Salford, and they were amazing from the get-go. They put me in touch with my head of year, I've got extra time and extensions in place if I need them and if I'm having a bad day my lecturers check in on me.' Now, at the end of her first year at Salford, she is feeling optimistic. She loves her course and has made lots of friends in her cohort. 'It's like I've got a whole team behind me. They're holding me up and helping me get through.' Looking after the wellbeing of students has never been more important. Today, student welfare is no longer treated as an add-on, it is baked into the university experience. From managing mental health to coping with disability, flatmate fallouts or financial pressures, dedicated support is increasingly accessible and visible. 'Universities take the welfare of students very seriously,' says Nick Hillman, director of the Higher Education Policy Institute. There is growing demand for these services among young people and the sector is adapting. 'It is no longer a taboo subject,' he says. Manuel Souto-Otero, a professor at the University of Bristol's school of education, says: 'This is not an easy time to be a student.' Pressures are stacking up – part-time jobs, the cost-of-living crisis, long commutes and caring responsibilities. 'There are a lot of demands on young people in higher education.' Support often starts before freshers even set foot on campus. Prospective students can flag existing needs on their Ucas application or disclose them ahead of enrolment. Once on campus, personal tutors are often the first port of call. University websites typically offer plenty of guidance, and campuses are dotted with posters and social media campaigns signposting students towards help. At Northumbria University, a 24/7 team is in place to triage and respond to wellbeing queries. 'We've got a physical help desk, students can raise concerns via the portal or just pick up the phone,' says Vashti Hutton, director of student life and wellbeing. The University of Derby has a similar setup. 'Whether students are after a quick chat or in-depth support, we direct students to the help they need,' says Sarah Richardson, head of student services. These include drop-ins, workshops, apps, digital tools and one-to-one appointments. At Falmouth University, all staff are trained and expected to help students spot when they might be in need of support and to guide them to the right place. Group workshops are common on campuses and cover everything from study skills and time-management to dealing with low moods or digital burnout. Many of the workshops are recorded, so students can access them online. One-to-one counselling is widely available, as are group therapy sessions. 'Students are not alone. We want everyone to have a good time, and we're here to support that,' says Northumbria's Hutton. At Sheffield Hallam University, sessions are themed around common challenges such as managing emotions, low self-esteem and feeling overwhelmed. They're run in six groups of about 10 students, led by a psychotherapist or counsellor. It helps normalise experiences and enables students to realise they are not alone. Supportive WhatsApp groups often form out of these sessions, offering informal peer support that lasts beyond the final meeting. For those less inclined to talk, there are other options – art therapy, yoga for wellbeing, and more. Student-led initiatives are playing a growing role, too. Cameron Swann, a final-year building surveying student and member of the students' union at Sheffield Hallam, says one-to-one peer support can be a powerful first step. 'A lot of students feel their problems aren't serious enough for formal help. This gives you a chance to talk with someone who is on the same wavelength and it gets you out of the house. It can be a stepping stone to talking to a professional at a later stage.' At Northumbria, peer-to-peer services are backed by university infrastructure but run by students. 'We've got bookable rooms and drop-ins,' says Hutton. 'Peer advisers are trained to help refer you on if they have concerns.' The message from professionals is clear: don't wait for a crisis. Support services can get busy, and reaching out early can make all the difference. John Rimington Wilson, 18, has Duchenne muscular dystrophy and was anxious about starting his graphic design degree at Sheffield Hallam last year. But early conversations with staff were reassuring. 'Before I started, I met with my lecturer, and they talked me through everything,' he says. 'They made me feel really comfortable. The university is clued-up and I feel like I'm in good hands.' You can contact the mental health charity Mind by calling 0300 123 3393 or visiting For more guidance on the right course for you, check out the Guardian university league tables for 2025. The Guardian league tables for 2026 will be out on 13 September in print and online
The Guardian
an hour ago
- The Guardian
Work-life balance: why quality data and personal development tools are crucial for employee wellbeing
Employers have long recognised that promoting wellness and helping employees achieve a good work-life balance are key to business success. Staff who have a healthy work-life balance tend to be happier, more engaged and more productive. They take less time off sick and they stick around longer because they enjoy their jobs. Moreover, companies that are known for this tend to become employers of choice and attract the best staff, creating a virtuous circle. But while many businesses strive to promote employee wellbeing, the area is in a state of flux and uncertainty, leaving many employers and HR professionals unsure about how best to approach it. Problems can be difficult to pin down, and the effectiveness of interventions can be hard to measure. For one thing, recent upheavals to typical working practices have prompted a host of fresh challenges and workplace stresses – from managing hybrid teams to knock-on effects on staff engagement and a sense of belonging. Likewise, there are still many lingering bad habits from the pandemic-related lockdowns, when work and life seemed to merge. One example is an always-on culture. When people worked from home, they would often reply to emails at 10pm because there were no boundaries between work and life. But this isn't desirable, either for the business or its employees. The accelerating pace of new technologies can present further challenges. For instance, wellness programmes devised three years ago may not factor in the impacts of AI. So what are some of the best ways to ensure a mentally and physically healthy workplace, one where staff want to be and deliver good work because they're happy? Lampros Sekliziotis, a product leader at software company Sage, says data plays a key role. 'If you spot a problem based on insights from the data, you can target it.' This might be through training or it might be flagging wellness initiatives. Both these can be targeted to individuals. Employee pulse surveys – short, quick surveys that are sent to employees on a regular basis – have long been particularly useful for gathering insights, says Sekliziotis. 'You could ask: 'Are you aware of the various wellness initiatives that we have?'' Alternatively, he says, data around holidays, timekeeping, and job satisfaction might suggest 'the company isn't as good as we think in terms of life balance'. Again, interventions can be targeted, and their effectiveness can be measured. Pulse surveys are one of the features built into Sage People, an all-in-one HR and payroll solution. Another key part of wellness is a feeling of personal fulfilment and life progression. HR systems have therefore been extending their capabilities and offerings to help businesses nurture a more fulfilled, happy and productive workforce. For example, micro-learning platforms can give employees all the joy of gaining new skills and knowledge in their own time and at their own pace without them feeling overwhelmed. One such offering is Uptime, a learning and personal development app that Sage offers to its customers. Kate Travers, principal solutions consultant at Sage, explains how Uptime can help: 'This has been designed to help users absorb key insights from books and podcasts, documentaries and courses, but all filtered down into just five-minute chunks.' It taps into the way people use streaming platforms to pick and choose the content they consume. 'It's designed to provide user engagement through learning, combining smart technology with a people-first approach.' Another way Sage's platform can be used to improve wellness and ensure a good work-life balance is by providing a single point-of-entry for employees. This is important because properly promoting wellness and wellbeing can be an extremely wide-ranging and holistic undertaking. After all, wellness takes in areas ranging from time management and job satisfaction to engagement and office design. For example, what kinds of new training needs should HR identify to help people upskill and reskill? How can office spaces be better planned to best suit employees who haven't been in the office for years, or who are reluctant to return? What provisions should be made for staff to improve their commutes? Do employees feel like they're doing meaningful work? Do they feel empowered and in control of their work and careers? And how can you keep them better engaged and informed? This is why good businesses now realise that work-life balance and wellness need to be baked into the company ethos and mission rather than just an afterthought. And it also means that wellness tools should be easily accessible and seamlessly integrated into the wider workplace experience. Steve Watmore, HR and payroll product manager at Sage, says familiarity with an app can be a huge help here. 'If you use a platform or an app regularly, you're always in that space, and anything else that happens within that app is engagement,' he says. The more that people use these apps, the better they know them and the better they become at leveraging their resources. Staff soon start to view these tools as places they can go to not just for information but for personal growth and development, and that can be very empowering. 'It becomes a real focal point for employees,' says Watmore. 'We see that within the Sage People app and we've seen that with the Sage People platform.' Giving people the right tools is a huge part of fostering engagement. Staff feel happy when they're in control and making their own decisions. This perhaps shows us where the thinking about wellness is going next. In the past, you might have provided some wellness initiatives, but now you have more of a smorgasbord of wellness-related initiatives, ranging from distraction-free zones to cycle parking and illness policies to mental health support. You offer them to employees, but staff make the choices themselves, and are all the happier and empowered for it. Discover more about the importance of a work-life balance and employee wellbeing
The Guardian
an hour ago
- The Guardian
The thing about ‘ageing gracefully': whatever you call it, I'll do it my way
I started learning about ageing and ageism – prejudice and discrimination on the basis of age – almost 20 years ago, as I entered my 50s. That's when it hit me that this getting older thing was actually happening to me. I was soon barraged by advice on how to age well. Many concepts, like 'active ageing', were obvious. (Don't be a couch potato.) Some, like 'successful ageing', were obnoxious. (In my opinion, if you wake up in the morning, you're ageing successfully.) One, 'ageing gracefully', was intriguing. Although I've written a whole book about ageism, I wasn't sure I knew how to go about ageing gracefully. For starters, it didn't seem as though I qualified. When I was speaking at a conference a few years ago, a woman in the elevator recognized my name from my badge. 'Are you the one talking about ageing gracefully?' she asked. 'If that's what you're looking for, you've got the wrong person,' I blurted. My clumsiness, like my bluntness, is legendary. Still, I liked the sound of it. Grace refers to more than the physical realm, of course. We can encounter it in a relationship, through worship, in nature, or while listening to music. Grace can be transformative. So I embarked on a quest to find out what it means to age gracefully. I consulted my bookshelves, friends and colleagues, and the internet. For a synthesis, I even ran the phrase past ChatGPT, which told me 'ageing gracefully' means 'embracing one's age without excessive resistance or denial, nurturing overall wellbeing, and cultivating purpose, joy, and connection'. Sounds great! But that doesn't seem to be what it means in practice. In our hypercapitalist, youth-centric western culture, ageing well tends to mean spending money and time trying to look and move like younger versions of ourselves. Unsurprisingly, many 'cope' with growing older by leaning heavily on denial. It's not much of a strategy, but it's human. It's also why the landscape is strewn with euphemisms, like 'mature' and 'seasoned', to avoid the dread 'old'. 'Ageing gracefully' is one of those euphemisms. When I queried beauty culture critic and Guardian US columnist Jessica DeFino about the phrase, she called it a 'particularly nefarious euphemism, because it implies that anti-ageing should appear to be effortless'. In fact, it's anything but, she told me over email: ''Ageing gracefully' demands an incredible amount of effort, then demands even more effort to conceal said effort.' What's more graceful, after all, than the ballerina whose apparent weightlessness draws on decades of grueling schooling? The contradictions are everywhere. Embrace ageing, but appear to not age. Stay positive but accept limitations. Be authentic, but conform. Some of this reflects the very real complexities of ageing: the need to adapt as bodies change and roles evolve while also staying as active and engaged as possible. To some, 'ageing gracefully' means letting nature take its course: 'embracing the natural signs of ageing without visiting a board-certified plastic surgeon along the way', as plastic surgeon Stephen Bresnick writes on his website. He calls this approach 'outdated' and urges potential patients to consider facelifts, tummy tucks and breast lifts. In a video titled 'Stop telling women to AGE GRACEFULLY!!', TikTok influencer Kitchen Killa Lisa likewise advises against accepting age-related changes. 'I'm so tired of people telling women how they should live their lives!' she rants. 'Get the Botox. Get the filler. Get the Botox. Get the facelift, the eyelift. Lift them titties, bitch!' One thing's for sure: the phrase is gendered. There's plenty of advice for men on staying fit and looking good in midlife and beyond. But a search for 'ageing gracefully' yields a sea of female faces, punctuated occasionally by George Clooney's or Jake Gyllenhaal's. Girls learn early on to conform to gender stereotypes that encourage compliance and 'likability'. Girls also learn to be each other's harshest critics, and the policing never stops. As in the workplace – where women are too sexy, then too fertile, then neither – the standards for ageing while female are impossible to meet. 'Ageing gracefully' is also ageist, because it implies there's something wrong with ageing past youth. But the kids aren't alright either. Campaigns are targeting ever-younger demographics in pursuit of lifelong customers. In 2023, Carson Bradley, a teen TikTok influencer, went viral with a video of her 25-minute skincare routine 'to slow the ageing process as a 14-year-old'. A search for 'baby botox' – smaller injections than regular Botox and not actually for babies, phew – yields an astonishing 91m results. In the hands of the beauty and wellness industries, 'ageing gracefully' is just another faux-positive phrase used to sell anti-ageing products, like luxury skincare firm Estée Lauder's campaign to 'reframe the conversation from anti-aging to visible age reversal'. At any stage of life, the message is clear: ageing is to be feared and fought. Then there's the ableism. Over time, balance deteriorates and bodies work less well. It gets harder to stay mobile, let alone graceful. How's a person to adapt? Reluctantly, without complaint and ideally in private. Many older people refuse to use walkers or wheelchairs because the stigma is so great, even if it means never leaving home. Sign up to Well Actually Practical advice, expert insights and answers to your questions about how to live a good life after newsletter promotion One thing I've noticed is that as they grow older, people tend to care less about others' opinions, and find it easier to assert themselves. Sometimes that's liberating. Sometimes it's a response to being ignored or condescended to. Graceful it ain't. 'Ageing gracefully' is 'a way to say 'sit down and shut up'', snaps educator Barbara Osborn, a colleague whose opinion I'd solicited. 'Don't struggle. Don't explore. Don't call for change.' An alternative? 'Age disgracefully' – a phrase that's been gaining traction in the media and popular culture since the turn of the century. Defy 'age appropriate' expectations for what to say or wear and where to do it. Reject modesty and restraint! Be yourself! In other words, hit that club, wear that miniskirt, ignore age stereotypes. Think Iggy Pop and Mick Jagger, or the fashion icons of Advanced Style. More power to these octogenarian rockers and fashionistas; ageing is utterly individual, and they personify the fact that we grow more different from each other over time. They're having a fine time, and they're not about to shuffle obediently offstage. I'm not defying the same way they are. I'm not taking up pole dancing or skateboarding. And I'll never be among the gracefuls, no matter how hard I try. Ageing is complicated, and we each have to find our own way through it. My path lies in rejecting this culture's ageist, sexist, ableist drumbeat: the mainstream narrative that the way to relate to ageing is to resist it. I've discussed this with countless friends over the years, and asked quite a few what they thought it meant to age gracefully. My favorite response came in conversation with organizer Julia Rhodes Davis. 'The more we turn and face the truth – that we are all ageing, that death is coming for us all – the more alive we become,' said Julia. 'That's my definition of 'ageing gracefully.'' I'll take it. To me, it means growing older unapologetically, truthfully and in community. I'll call it ageing with grace. An internationally recognized expert on ageism, Ashton Applewhite is the author of This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism and a co-founder of the Old School Hub
