'Husband fell down stairs - now my hair is falling out and I can't afford food'
A mum has revealed the heartbreaking toll of her husband's 'terrifying brain injury as she calls for the government to offer more support for carers.
Children's services worker Sherene Snowdon, 42, lives in Gloucestershire with husband Lee, 46, a former gas engineer and plumber; son Jake, 19 ,and daughter Paige, seven. She cares for Lee, who sustained a brain injury five years ago, and for Paige, who has SEN.
She says: "I became a carer overnight on 16 March 2020, when Lee sustained a brain injury after falling down some stairs. Seeing Lee on life support was absolutely terrifying. I was told to say my goodbyes. I was told he wouldn't be able to walk or talk, but Lee has proved everyone wrong. Lee had been home for just three weeks when he had a stroke.
"It was very stressful. My hair was falling out, I was surviving on two hours' sleep, juggling a teething baby, a young son and my husband's needs. I was told nurses would come to our home, but we never saw them. I became the sole provider for my family. Things are very tough financially. I had to sell our two cars.
"There were times when I didn't eat because I needed to prioritise food for my husband and kids. I'd look for the cheapest options – such as pot noodles that cost £1. I work full time because I have no choice, so don't get carers' allowance. And I only see my friends once a year. Caring has had a huge impact on my mental and physical health. Carers need realistic, practical support and help."
Unpaid carers are 50% more likely to live in poverty than the rest of the population, according to shocking new figures.
The charity Carers UK says unpaid carers save the government a staggering £184 billion a year, yet 1.2 million are in poverty - 400,000 of them in deep poverty - while Carers' Allowance is the lowest benefit of its kind at £83.30 a week.
With approximately 12,000 people in the UK becoming unpaid carers every day, 43% of current or former unpaid carers have either developed a mental or physical health problem, or seen an existing condition worsen.
And 40% of our estimated 24.9 million current unpaid carers have cancelled their own medical appointment, because of their caring roles.
Speaking at the start of National Carers' Week, which runs until June 15, Helen Walker, Chief Executive at Carers UK, tells The Mirror: "Many carers feel unrecognised and at a disadvantage – facing a greater risk of poverty, social isolation, poor mental and physical health."
Highlighting the difficulties of working, while caring and urging the government to provide greater recognition and financial assistance for carers, she continues: 'An estimated 600 people a day give up work to care."
Andy McGowan, Policy and Practice Manager for Young Carers at the charity Carers Trust, says young carers, caring for 35 hours a week or more, are 86% less likely to obtain a degree and 46% less likely to enter employment than their peers.
He says: "It's so vital to ensure they get academic, pastoral and financial support at university, so caring is not a barrier to them achieving their huge potential".
Carers are being affected up and down the country by the lack of financial assistance. Kate Crockford , 40, lives in Swanley, Kent, with husband George, 39, an audit manager, and their children Xander, 13, and Rowan, 10, who has the genetic condition tublinopathy.
The condition causes profound learning disabilities and complex needs including epilepsy, cerebral palsy, autism and global development delay. A wheelchair user, he is visually impaired and has challenging behaviour, while Xander is deaf and has autism, ADHD and anxiety.
Kate says: "The physical issues George and I have experienced from caring include sciatica, pulled muscles, twisted ankles, black eyes and broken glasses - from being kicked in the face - bites, kicks, pinches, slaps.
"In 2017, due to overwhelming caring responsibilities, I ignored having the flu, which then was compounded by fungal pneumonia. By the time I got to A&E, I was barely breathing and was in intensive care by that night, very close to death.
"Then, in 2021, due to a biological heart quirk, bacteria from a bite Rowan gave me travelled to my brain and I developed a brain abscess. In A&E they thought I had a brain tumour and I was rushed to London for an emergency craniotomy.
"It resulted in a stroke, which paralysed me down the left side entirely. I was in hospital for seven weeks. I had to learn to walk again. My husband was left with the boys for the whole summer.
"I now make a proper effort to keep my appointments. But my smear test is three years overdue and I haven't been to the hairdresser since 2019! Caring for Rowan and Xander is a full-time role. The Government needs to stop targeting the vulnerable. Carers' allowance is an insult."
Only child Rebecca Green, 23, from Liverpool, is a young carer for her mum Anne, 55, who has rheumatoid arthritis. Rebecca was in her second year at university when, in March 2023, Anne suddenly developed mobility problems. As her dad Phil died suddenly in 2017, she became Anne's sole carer. Rebecca says: 'It's almost the parent-child relationship in reverse.
"Getting Mum a diagnosis was a lengthy process. It took a year to get medication, which she had an adverse reaction to. I was back and forth between university and Mum, constantly worried.
'I deferred two essays and the stress impacted my third year too. I didn't graduate on time. It's still up in the air if I'll graduate this year.
'I think the Government needs to recognise the different forms caring can take and include more support and validation. As a carer, the freedom to choose gets taken away. I worry, will I have a job I want? Will I be able to move out and have kids? I don't know.'
Young carers needing support should visit www.carers.org to find support in your area.
Full-time carer Nikki Knight, 39, lives in the Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire, with husband Ollie, 41 a teacher, and their children Sophie, 12, and Toby, 7, who has ADHD and was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia in 2022. He is currently recovering from a bone marrow transplant in January.
Former social worker Nikki, who quit work in September 2023 to care for him, says: 'I've been coming to terms with Toby's diagnosis while navigating all the appointments, paperwork and healthcare plans.
'I live in fight or flight mode. From the moment I get up to the moment I go to sleep I'm on the go. I often fall asleep on the sofa - too tired to get to bed.
'I've delayed my follow up clinic and physio appointments after a fall, to fit in around his needs. My dental and eye check ups are overdue. Toby is clinically vulnerable. Only my husband and I are trained in central line care for him. We get Disability Living Allowance, but going from a two-income family to just one was a shock.'
Author of 5 minute gratitude journal for oncology parents, Nikki blogs about her experiences https://www.unicornsdinosaursandme.com/
Author and blogger Sarah Ziegel, 64, lives in Richmond, south west London, with husband Jonathan, 62, a government lawyer, and their four autistic children – twins Benjamin and Thomas, 26; Hector, 23 and Marcus, 16.
Since she began caring, she has had a breakdown and developed adrenal fatigue, causing low energy, insomnia and digestive problems. As a carer, you are just surviving to care for your loved ones. she said "Adrenal fatigue results from years of living on adrenaline."
'I asked the GP for counselling but only got one session." she said "It isn't possible for me to work. The real issue for parent carers is that there is no one to take over and carers' allowance is so low it is an insult."
'My sons all live at home, but you can't claim housing or living costs for a child over 18. New Zealand pays family carers - why can't the UK?'
*Sarah is author of Marching to a Different Beat about her family's autism journey.
Self-employed ADHD coach Ana Bonasera, 33, from Oxford, is married to Jordan Hands, 31, and has five children. Four have SEN, or are awaiting diagnosis. Nathaniel, 12, is awaiting an autism and ADHD assessment; twins Jude and Luca, 11, have autism and learning disabilities; Spencer, 7, is awaiting an autism and ADHD assessment Daughter Mila, two, does not have special needs.
Ana says: 'Being a parent-carer has definitely impacted my mental and physical health. Once, I was so overwhelmed I ran out in the street in my nightdress with no shoes on, desperately calling my dad.
'It's difficult asking for help – it took me seven attempts to call my doctor's surgery, but they couldn't help if I didn't want medication. Soon afterwards, I had a breakdown. It was the worst state I'd ever been in.
'I realisedI needed to help myself before I could help my kids. I had some hypnotherapy, some coaching and did lots of research to work out what triggers me. It's very hard juggling work with caring responsibilities.
I can't work over the summer holidays, because of lack of provision for SEN children. Having a social life is almost impossible. My husband and I hardly ever go out. Now an ADHD coach, I want to make sure other carers don't feel unworthy of help.'
During carers week Ana is running a free annual event http://parentcarerconnect.com/rise dedicated to parent carers' wellbeing.
Former mental health trainer Emma Amoscato, 43, from Bedfordshire, who has a daughter Amalia, 9, and son James, 12, was a carer for her husband Carl, who was diagnosed with kidney cancer in 2017 and died in September. She now cares for James, who has AuDHD.
Emma says: ''Being a carer can be all consuming. My son is autistic. I home educate, as the school couldn't meet his needs. This impacts my ability to work. I feel the ongoing stress of caring in my muscles and gut. It has affected my periods and my sleep.
'Carl had cancer for seven years. For the last 18 months, it was too hard for me to work. Carers' allowance is minimal. The Government needs to respect carers and see us as contributing members of society.'
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Daily Mirror
6 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
Brit tourist plunges from Cyprus hotel balcony and can't walk after holiday 'nightmare'
24-year-old Sam Hudson, from Lincoln, was enjoying a holiday getaway in Ayia Napa with his step-brother on June 15 when he suffered an accidental fall from his hotel balcony A British holidaymaker is haunted by "nightmares" after a terrifying plunge from a hotel balcony in Cyprus left him unable to walk. Sam Hudson, from Lincoln, was staying at the Anmaria Beach Hotel in Ayia Napa with his step-brother on June 15 when he suffered a horrific fall from the second floor. The dad, who had been drinking, was trying to leap between the balconies. He was spotted by a passerby and rushed to hospital in an ambulance after suffering pelvis and spinal injuries. Stepmother Karen received a call informing her that Sam had "sustained serious bone injuries" and needed to be moved to Nicosia General Hospital for critical care. The father-of-one faced a gruelling stint in intensive care due to a shattered pelvis, fractures to the L4 and L5 vertebrae, and a broken leg, enduring over seven hours of surgery. Without travel insurance, Sam faced delays as he awaited a Global Health Insurance Card before doctors would proceed with the operation. After spending just over a week in the hospital, he was then moved to the Orthopaedic ward. Sam told The Mirror: "I do not remember anything, how it happened, nothing. I keep having nightmares about the accident. I was in a lot of pain and had a high dose of pain killers for the first 10 days which meant I was not really aware of how bad the situation was. "I had a broken pelvis at the right hand side near the leg joint, broken something in the lower part of pelvis, also broken an area at the back of my spine some small bones that stick out the back of the lower spine." Sam was set to be discharged on July 11 as he no longer required emergency medical care, which is what the GHIC card covers. Upon his return to the UK, he will require immediate physiotherapy and will be admitted to hospital for rehabilitation. Sam will then embark on the challenging journey of learning to walk again. However, lying flat for the flight home presents a "significant challenge" as the family cannot afford the cost of a stretcher. His step-mum has set up a GoFundMe page to help cover some of the costs, which has already raised more than £5,000. Karen stated: "Sam has not received any physiotherapy and urgently needs to return to the UK to be admitted to hospital for rehabilitation - to begin the long process of learning to stand and walk again. He still has fractures in his pelvis and lower spine that have not been addressed, as they're not considered emergencies. "However, from viewing the X-ray, these areas appear to be shattered, and we are concerned about the assumption that they will simply heal on their own. Trying to coordinate all of this has been a logistical nightmare for us as a family." She is initiating a petition urging the UK government to make travel insurance a legal requirement for anyone travelling abroad. Karen added: "Make sure always make sure you have travel insurance - no matter what. It's essential, and you should always read the small print to understand exactly what is and isn't covered. "Equally important is having a GHIC card, which can cover emergency medical treatment within the EU. If you have it with you, the NHS can fund your care, and treatment can begin immediately without unnecessary delays. "I strongly believe that travel insurance and a valid GHIC card should be made compulsory. When booking a flight or holiday, travellers should be required to enter both their insurance policy number and GHIC reference number. "This would ensure that everyone is adequately protected and could help prevent other families from experiencing the distress and uncertainty we faced - not knowing how we would manage the costs involved in getting Sam home and ensuring he received the care he needed."
Daily Mirror
8 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
Mum who nearly died from botched BBL 'relieved' by crackdown on cosmetic cowboys
Bonnie-Louise Cooper, who feared her son would be orphaned when she almost died following a liquid BBL, is relieved there is to be a crackdown on cosmetic cowboys - and hopes they will be tough A mum who came within an hour of death has welcomed the news of a major crackdown on cosmetic cowboys. In a victory for the Mirror's cosmetic surgery campaign, Health Secretary Wes Streeting said ministers will set out new regulations to deal with misconduct in the UK. Survivor Bonnie-Louise Cooper, 28, said she backed The Mirror's campaign to stop other mums suffering, fearing lives could be lost - and revealed she still suffers pins and needles almost two years after her ill-fated surgery. Bonnie-Louise said she thought she was being sensible when she opted not to jet off to Turkey and have the cosmetic procedure in England instead. But she spent weeks in hospital because she suffered a deadly sepsis infection following a liquid BBL. The mum said she was left fearing she would leave her five-year-old son an orphan. Speaking to The Mirror about the minister's promise changes will be announced, she said: 'This sounds really promising, at last something is happening, it's been slow steps but this sounds like it could be really big progress. We've had botox regulations brought in, we're had the liquid BBL not being allowed to be advertised on social media - so hopefully this will be the biggest yet. But I'm hoping what he announces this week will be much tougher regulations.' Bonnie from Swanage in Dorset still suffers the aftermath of the £3,000 cosmetic surgery she had in November 2023 after seeing the adverts on Instagram. I'm still having complications now but I'm alive. I'm having physio once a week still, I have nerve damage and they don't know when it will repair itself. 'I get pins and needles and my feet go numb, it's really annoying. It's a horrible feeling. It could be forever, we just don't know. I can't believe it still. They should rush it in, a lady has died now.' About why she backed the campaign, she said: 'I spoke out for awareness, awareness is everything. The Mirror has helped me spread awareness to get the dangers out there. Had I read a story like this before I booked mine, I wouldn't have done it.' Campaigner Ashton Collins from Save Face, who has been calling for change for two years, said she believes there are still at least 12 liquid BBLs being carried out by non healthcare professionals every day in the UK. 'It is still alarming, it is a peak and trough scenario, when it's in the media it dips but then goes back up again. A conservative estimate would be there's still around 11 or 12 liquid BBLs in the UK every day predominantly performed by non healthcare professionals. ' She said she is 'amazed' other people have not died. 'How is this allowed to happen? It's ludicrous.' Appearing on ITV 's This Morning, on Tuesday, Mr Streeting said: 'Because of the lack of regulation, we've basically got cosmetic cowboys that basically - I'm not even going to use the word 'treating' women - they are practising on women and causing serious, catastrophic damage. 'So, we are going to act and in the coming days and weeks, we are going to be setting out the regulations we're going to put in place to clamp down on this sort of practice here at home.' Pressed for more details on the timing of the announcement, Mr Streeting said: 'Over the next week or so, you should hear from the government on what we're doing to clamp down on cosmetic cowboys here at home. 'When it comes to overseas, it is more complicated but I am working with the team across government, and also other governments around the world, to try and clamp down on this.' During the interview, Mr Streeting was played a tragic clip of Dane Knight, whose partner Alice Webb, 33, last year became the first person to die following a liquid Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL) in a UK clinic. 'I would hate to see another family go through, you know, more kids burying their mum, another partner, burying their partner,' Dane said. Mr Streeting said: 'Just hearing Dane speaking there, and the thought of five children being left behind because they've lost their mother in these circumstances, that motivates me to act. 'And I hope that for people watching as well, it's just really the worst possible reminder, when you're seeing things being marketed online, just think really carefully before you take up things that look too good to be true.'
Daily Mirror
10 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
'Doctor told me young people have lumpy boobs - then I was diagnosed with cancer'
Scottish teacher Beth Ferguson, 30 contacted her GP in October 2022 when she discovered a small lump on her left breast A woman who was concerned for her health was told "young people have lumpy boobs" before she was eventually diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer. Scottish teacher Beth Ferguson, 30 contacted her GP in October 2022 when she discovered a small lump on her left breast. The GP believed the lump was most likely benign or a cyst because it was smooth and mobile, but Beth was referred to the local breast clinic just in case. There, she was informed it was "nothing to worry about" as "younger people have lumpy boobs". Around 10 months later, Beth began to notice that the lump was growing. She returned to her GP and was referred to Gartnavel Hospital, Glasgow. The Mirror has approached NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde for comment. An ultrasound and biopsy revealed Beth had a triple negative tumour. Beth, a physics and maths teacher, from Glasgow, said: "After noticing the lump, I went to my doctor, who said I was fine. "They referred me to the local breast clinic, and the consultant said it was a cyst and there was nothing to worry about. They said I was young, and younger people have lumpy boobs. After that, I wasn't worried; they said if anything changes, or it gets bigger, to come back." She had first noticed the lump in the shower. "It started off small, it gradually got bigger and never really went away,' she explained, according to the Daily Record. Beth added she thought it was unlikely to be anything serious as she had no family history of 'anything serious' and believed the lump was most likely a cyst, She said the clinic's comment about lumpy breasts put her mind at ease. "Life went on - I was training for and completed the Boston Marathon and got engaged to my partner in New York,' she said. She is now on the mend after 16 rounds of chemotherapy, a breast reconstruction and immunotherapy led to her being given the all clear in May last year. Part of the reason for Beth's shock at her diagnosis was that she felt 'so healthy and fit' at the time she was diagnosed. Suddenly faced with an alarming diagnosis, Beth decided during her treatment to freeze her eggs because of the 'induced menopause' she was put on to protect her ovaries during treatment. 'I largely coped well with the side effects and stayed very active between treatments,' Beth said of her treatments. "I continued my marathon training, I went to the gym, and I was still working for the first few months. "One of the worst side effects was that I was put on induced menopause. They shut down my ovaries to protect them - I went into menopause overnight." Despite the success of her treatment, Beth has said she has struggled to move on. 'It was the start of anxiety for me,' she revealed. She is now Breast Cancer Now and Secondary1st's funded research which hopes to develop a more targeted treatment for people with triple negative breast cancer.
