The Onion's Exclusive Interview With Ms. Rachel
The Onion : Why did you create your show Songs For Littles ?
Ms. Rachel: I figured if that dipshit Blippi could make it big, anyone could.
The Onion : What song do children love most?
Ms. Rachel: 'Toxicity' by System of a Down.
The Onion : What inspired you to speak out about Gaza?
Ms. Rachel: While I've enjoyed a great deal of success, my real dream has always been getting called an 'antisemitic cunt' online.
The Onion : What's the biggest advantage of creating content for babies?
Ms. Rachel: They can't leave death threats in the comments.
The Onion : Any fun stories from the set?
Ms. Rachel: One day, no matter how many times I tried, I just couldn't count to four correctly. Turns out, I was having a stroke.
The Onion : What do you say to children who recognize you in public?
Ms. Rachel: Don't touch the overalls.
The Onion : What do you say to your critics?
Ms. Rachel: Good luck potty training your child without me.
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