We're empty nesters now, but we're not downsizing. There are too many memories in this house.
Our friends are downsizing, but emotions play a big part in our not leaving our 3,500 square foot house.
There are memories in every corner of this place.
After 30 years, we're not ready to leave our 1970s home, even though it has stairs and no walk-in shower.
Among my friends my age — I'm 67 — downsizing is a major topic at social gatherings. The focus is always on finances and logistics, not the deep feelings that the decision reveals.
Emotions play a big part in why, for now, we're staying in this too-big, too-out-of-date, difficult-to-manage two-level 3,500-square-foot home despite many reasons to go and fewer to stay.
My husband of 40 years and I have upgraded and replaced many things. Our upper level has oak plank floors, and we ripped the kitchen to the studs, put in a long peninsula, and increased cabinet space. We upgraded all the interior doors, replaced the concrete driveway, and improved the drainage. We've added a new roof and refurbished a concrete patio. We've added tiles to the bathroom floors and repainted multiple times. And except for the ubiquitous ancient refrigerator in the basement, we've upgraded with good appliances as needed.
But we don't necessarily love everything we've done throughout the years. The oak planks throughout the upper level are narrow, having been put in years ago, and the trend is wider planks. The remodeled kitchen, chic in 2011, has dark cabinets that are not in vogue.
At our price point and on our retirement income, it doesn't make sense to replace wooden floors or upgrade a kitchen that costs more than we'll ever get back.
A costly team cares for our lawn. A landscaper cares for the garden beds, and early every Monday, a team of mowers wakes us up. Another person hauls away branches after our frequent Midwestern storms. A man with a lift and a crew takes down the big trees, about 15 in 30 years. A company fertilizes the acre-sized lot and treats it for moles.
One Mother's Day, my husband looked out the kitchen window and said, "You are not the only mother on the property today," spotting Mr. and Mrs. Ground Hog and their four babies. We hired "The Critter Roper," who gently removed them from our property.
We hired the varmint guy to build a structure to protect our foundation, one of those expenses that cost a pretty penny and are not as exciting as a new car or TV. Our foundation has been safe from varmints ever since.
All that said, we are comfortable in our home. While the decorative style might be called Eclectic Grammy, each room has relics of past travel, copies of famous paintings, and originals by artist friends. We are surrounded by books everywhere (my husband is a retired librarian), and I can't bear to part with one book yet.
We each have an office, and my husband, who runs an online antiques business, keeps inventory in our basement and yard barn.
I love my yellow-and-white striped wallpapered office and large L-shaped desk. Diverse items hang on the walls — a huge picture of Eleanore Roosevelt, an "I Love Lucy" Vitameatavegamin clock, posters of Baryshnikov, my mother's 1955 Indiana University diploma, a picture my son drew in first grade of "The Cat in the Hat," and a poster of El Greco's "Toledo," the exact spot where my husband and I stood.
My most precious books are on a rough-hewn bookshelf my Dad built when I moved into my first apartment, arm's length away from my comfortable office chair.
From my office, I see West Lake, the canopy of trees in our yard, and lilac bushes that recently bloomed. Three bird feeders hang off the deck rail, awaiting the imminent arrival of the Rose-breasted grosbeaks on their way back to Canada.
I'm not ready to give these things up. My husband, who couldn't run his business from a smaller space, isn't ready to stop his business.
The house is quiet now, but I still love being here despite its too-small rooms and the lack of a linen closet.
In my mind, I hear the noise of children's pool parties and the clatter of my son's quick, child footsteps on the stairs, although he left for college in 2008 and lives on the East Coast.
My maternal grandfather was a real estate agent and always told me, that owning a home is an emotional investment. That statement sticks with me now as my husband and I contemplate when to downsize.
For now, I'm happy to stay in our home on its lovely tree-filled lot, which offers comfort and familiarity, rich memories, and seasonal beauty.
Read the original article on Business Insider

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Chicago Tribune
a day ago
- Chicago Tribune
Editorial: Chicago mourns with Texas and the parents of the Camp Mystic girls
While many of us were enjoying July 4 festivities this past weekend, Texas Hill Country was plunged into disaster. The Guadalupe River rose 26 feet in just 45 minutes on July 4, with flash flooding killing at least 80 people statewide. As of a grim Monday morning tally, 41 people still were missing. What makes the story especially heartbreaking is that the flooding swept away young girls staying at Camp Mystic, a private Christian camp 85 miles outside of San Antonio. 'This came at night when people were asleep in bed,' Kerrville Mayor Joe Herring said Friday. Herring presides over the county seat of Kerr County, which was hit the hardest by the floods. Officials said the flooding and subsequent damage were unprecedented. There is something special about the summer rite of young kids leaving their families and heading to a bucolic rural setting, often making friends for life. Midwestern parents are very familiar with the ritual, which includes the nagging worry of leaving their kid in someone else's hands. Be it Camp Nebagamon or Camp Timber-lee, Lake of the Woods, Camp Agawak or the YMCA's Camp Copneconic and Phantom Lake, many of these camps in Wisconsin and Michigan have been around for decades and traffic in memory and tradition. Parents often send their kids where they went themselves. Where they had the time of their lives. Where they grew up. Many of those parents with kids at a summer camp right now felt a knot in their stomach when the news about those lost young girls broke this weekend, and that knot has yet to resolve itself. It likely won't, until the kids come back home. You learn a lot about yourself in a crisis. The same is true of our country. Who are we in this moment of relatable tragedy? We have a choice. In the immediate aftermath of what has happened, we can choose to politicize these events or we can choose to mourn the dead and honor the heroes who stopped death tolls from going even higher, even if it cost them their lives. Which in some cases, it did. The time for analysis and accountability will come. For now, we choose to grieve with the families. Dick Eastland, co-owner of Camp Mystic and the camp's director, died trying to save his young guests from the floodwaters. He reportedly was carried off by the floodwaters. 'It doesn't surprise me at all that his last act of kindness and sacrifice was working to save the lives of campers,' former camper and friend Paige Sumner wrote in the Kerrville Daily Times. 'He had already saved so many lives with the gift of Camp Mystic.' The flooding wasn't confined to the camp that is at the center of most of the news. Torrents of water swept through towns across the region, damaging hundreds of homes, washing away vehicles, and severing power and communication lines. Flash flood warnings covered large parts of Central Texas, and the National Weather Service recorded rainfall rates of more than 3 inches per hour. Because the flood hit overnight, many families did not sense the danger until there was no time to escape. Julian Ryan, 27, seriously injured himself saving his family during the disaster after his home began flooding – with his fiancée, children and mother inside. His family shared Ryan's final words: 'I'm sorry, I'm not going to make it. I love y'all.' It's hard to read his story without shedding a tear. His fiancée and son have lost not only a husband and father, but also a selfless protector. Many could not be saved. Among them were sisters Blair and Brooke Harber, ages 13 and 11, respectively, who were staying with their grandparents in a cabin that was swept away in the flood. They were found with their hands locked together. Their grandparents are still missing. The girls' parents were staying in a cabin nearby, The New York Times reported. Many of the youngest campers staying at Camp Mystic will never go home, including 8-year-old Sarah Marsh from Alabama. Her grandmother posted a tribute to her on Facebook, writing, 'We will always feel blessed to have had this beautiful spunky ray of light in our lives. She will live on in our hearts forever!' We can imagine the many spunky young spirits camping at the river this past weekend; that's why the grief coursing through Texas is so intense. Many families still are waiting in the flood zone in the hopes that their loved ones will be retrieved, and, on Monday, first responders still were wading through mud and debris in an effort to find survivors. Entire communities have turned schools into shelters, church halls into donation centers and grief into action. But many families have already seen hope extinguished. And those who lost young daughters are living every parent's worst nightmare. We're all asking questions. What could have been done differently? Could the authorities — and which authorities? — have prevented this? Was the forecasting accurate? Were enough people on duty? Are basic safety systems adequate for riverside cabins in this most dangerous of river basins? For now, we're just so deeply sad that a girls' summer camp, of all places, was lost to the very river that had given generations of campers such joy.
Yahoo
5 days ago
- Yahoo
We're empty nesters now, but we're not downsizing. There are too many memories in this house.
We've lived in our house for 30 years and have no plans of moving out any time soon. Our friends are downsizing, but emotions play a big part in our not leaving our 3,500 square foot house. There are memories in every corner of this place. After 30 years, we're not ready to leave our 1970s home, even though it has stairs and no walk-in shower. Among my friends my age — I'm 67 — downsizing is a major topic at social gatherings. The focus is always on finances and logistics, not the deep feelings that the decision reveals. Emotions play a big part in why, for now, we're staying in this too-big, too-out-of-date, difficult-to-manage two-level 3,500-square-foot home despite many reasons to go and fewer to stay. My husband of 40 years and I have upgraded and replaced many things. Our upper level has oak plank floors, and we ripped the kitchen to the studs, put in a long peninsula, and increased cabinet space. We upgraded all the interior doors, replaced the concrete driveway, and improved the drainage. We've added a new roof and refurbished a concrete patio. We've added tiles to the bathroom floors and repainted multiple times. And except for the ubiquitous ancient refrigerator in the basement, we've upgraded with good appliances as needed. But we don't necessarily love everything we've done throughout the years. The oak planks throughout the upper level are narrow, having been put in years ago, and the trend is wider planks. The remodeled kitchen, chic in 2011, has dark cabinets that are not in vogue. At our price point and on our retirement income, it doesn't make sense to replace wooden floors or upgrade a kitchen that costs more than we'll ever get back. A costly team cares for our lawn. A landscaper cares for the garden beds, and early every Monday, a team of mowers wakes us up. Another person hauls away branches after our frequent Midwestern storms. A man with a lift and a crew takes down the big trees, about 15 in 30 years. A company fertilizes the acre-sized lot and treats it for moles. One Mother's Day, my husband looked out the kitchen window and said, "You are not the only mother on the property today," spotting Mr. and Mrs. Ground Hog and their four babies. We hired "The Critter Roper," who gently removed them from our property. We hired the varmint guy to build a structure to protect our foundation, one of those expenses that cost a pretty penny and are not as exciting as a new car or TV. Our foundation has been safe from varmints ever since. All that said, we are comfortable in our home. While the decorative style might be called Eclectic Grammy, each room has relics of past travel, copies of famous paintings, and originals by artist friends. We are surrounded by books everywhere (my husband is a retired librarian), and I can't bear to part with one book yet. We each have an office, and my husband, who runs an online antiques business, keeps inventory in our basement and yard barn. I love my yellow-and-white striped wallpapered office and large L-shaped desk. Diverse items hang on the walls — a huge picture of Eleanore Roosevelt, an "I Love Lucy" Vitameatavegamin clock, posters of Baryshnikov, my mother's 1955 Indiana University diploma, a picture my son drew in first grade of "The Cat in the Hat," and a poster of El Greco's "Toledo," the exact spot where my husband and I stood. My most precious books are on a rough-hewn bookshelf my Dad built when I moved into my first apartment, arm's length away from my comfortable office chair. From my office, I see West Lake, the canopy of trees in our yard, and lilac bushes that recently bloomed. Three bird feeders hang off the deck rail, awaiting the imminent arrival of the Rose-breasted grosbeaks on their way back to Canada. I'm not ready to give these things up. My husband, who couldn't run his business from a smaller space, isn't ready to stop his business. The house is quiet now, but I still love being here despite its too-small rooms and the lack of a linen closet. In my mind, I hear the noise of children's pool parties and the clatter of my son's quick, child footsteps on the stairs, although he left for college in 2008 and lives on the East Coast. My maternal grandfather was a real estate agent and always told me, that owning a home is an emotional investment. That statement sticks with me now as my husband and I contemplate when to downsize. For now, I'm happy to stay in our home on its lovely tree-filled lot, which offers comfort and familiarity, rich memories, and seasonal beauty. Read the original article on Business Insider

Business Insider
5 days ago
- Business Insider
We're empty nesters now, but we're not downsizing. There are too many memories in this house.
We've lived in our house for 30 years and have no plans of moving out any time soon. Our friends are downsizing, but emotions play a big part in our not leaving our 3,500 square foot house. There are memories in every corner of this place. After 30 years, we're not ready to leave our 1970s home, even though it has stairs and no walk-in shower. Among my friends my age — I'm 67 — downsizing is a major topic at social gatherings. The focus is always on finances and logistics, not the deep feelings that the decision reveals. Emotions play a big part in why, for now, we're staying in this too-big, too-out-of-date, difficult-to-manage two-level 3,500-square-foot home despite many reasons to go and fewer to stay. We've put so much work into it My husband of 40 years and I have upgraded and replaced many things. Our upper level has oak plank floors, and we ripped the kitchen to the studs, put in a long peninsula, and increased cabinet space. We upgraded all the interior doors, replaced the concrete driveway, and improved the drainage. We've added a new roof and refurbished a concrete patio. We've added tiles to the bathroom floors and repainted multiple times. And except for the ubiquitous ancient refrigerator in the basement, we've upgraded with good appliances as needed. But we don't necessarily love everything we've done throughout the years. The oak planks throughout the upper level are narrow, having been put in years ago, and the trend is wider planks. The remodeled kitchen, chic in 2011, has dark cabinets that are not in vogue. It's an expensive house At our price point and on our retirement income, it doesn't make sense to replace wooden floors or upgrade a kitchen that costs more than we'll ever get back. A costly team cares for our lawn. A landscaper cares for the garden beds, and early every Monday, a team of mowers wakes us up. Another person hauls away branches after our frequent Midwestern storms. A man with a lift and a crew takes down the big trees, about 15 in 30 years. A company fertilizes the acre-sized lot and treats it for moles. One Mother's Day, my husband looked out the kitchen window and said, "You are not the only mother on the property today," spotting Mr. and Mrs. Ground Hog and their four babies. We hired "The Critter Roper," who gently removed them from our property. We hired the varmint guy to build a structure to protect our foundation, one of those expenses that cost a pretty penny and are not as exciting as a new car or TV. Our foundation has been safe from varmints ever since. But we have reasons to stay All that said, we are comfortable in our home. While the decorative style might be called Eclectic Grammy, each room has relics of past travel, copies of famous paintings, and originals by artist friends. We are surrounded by books everywhere (my husband is a retired librarian), and I can't bear to part with one book yet. We each have an office, and my husband, who runs an online antiques business, keeps inventory in our basement and yard barn. I love my yellow-and-white striped wallpapered office and large L-shaped desk. Diverse items hang on the walls — a huge picture of Eleanore Roosevelt, an "I Love Lucy" Vitameatavegamin clock, posters of Baryshnikov, my mother's 1955 Indiana University diploma, a picture my son drew in first grade of "The Cat in the Hat," and a poster of El Greco's "Toledo," the exact spot where my husband and I stood. My most precious books are on a rough-hewn bookshelf my Dad built when I moved into my first apartment, arm's length away from my comfortable office chair. From my office, I see West Lake, the canopy of trees in our yard, and lilac bushes that recently bloomed. Three bird feeders hang off the deck rail, awaiting the imminent arrival of the Rose-breasted grosbeaks on their way back to Canada. I'm not ready to give these things up. My husband, who couldn't run his business from a smaller space, isn't ready to stop his business. I hear kids in my mind, despite it being empty now The house is quiet now, but I still love being here despite its too-small rooms and the lack of a linen closet. In my mind, I hear the noise of children's pool parties and the clatter of my son's quick, child footsteps on the stairs, although he left for college in 2008 and lives on the East Coast. My maternal grandfather was a real estate agent and always told me, that owning a home is an emotional investment. That statement sticks with me now as my husband and I contemplate when to downsize. For now, I'm happy to stay in our home on its lovely tree-filled lot, which offers comfort and familiarity, rich memories, and seasonal beauty.