Exclusive: Eva Amurri Reveals the Texting Secret Behind Her Co-Parenting Success

Yahoo

6 days ago

Eva Amurri isn't just the daughter of Italian film director Franco Amurri and actress Susan Sarandon; she's a multi-hyphenate powerhouse who reminds fans that life is truly a journey to be enjoyed. When you chat with Eva, it's like chatting with your non-judgmental mom friend — the one who always seems to have a life-changing hack or a piece of wisdom that truly makes you feel more centered amid all the chaos. She's seen so much, and she shares just as much, especially when it comes to making sure moms feel seen.
Not only is she an actress, known for her roles in Saved, Californication, and The Banger Sisters, but she's also a proud mom of three, a designer, a digital creator, and now, the host of The Westport Project — a web series that, as she puts it, is 'a blend of a home renovation show like Fixer Upper and a reality show like Southern Charm, where you really get to see a lot of Westport, Connecticut, which is the town I live in, the town we're building this house in.' Amid all the chaos in her life, Eva has been going head-first into the home renovation world, and is happy to be learning something new along the way.
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The series, she says, is an 'educational journey of creating this smart home and making it as efficient as we possibly can while also being ultra chic and beautiful for it to fit in perfectly with this luxury homeowners' community right on the beach in Westport.'
As she embarks on this new project, she sat down with SheKnows to discuss everything parenting, from why she named all her kids with names that start with 'M' to the 'business model' she keeps in mind when co-parenting with Kyle Martino.
Over the past decade, Eva has learned a lifetime of lessons, including the importance of shaking up one's life.
'It's been ten years that I've had my brand [lifestyle blog Happily Eva After], and I think, as anybody in any career can attest to, sometimes when you're just in the moment and you're zoomed in super close, you don't see how you got from point A to point B. And then when you zoom out, you're like, 'Wow. This actually makes total sense.' For me, it's been a really interesting road getting to this point,' our December 2024 cover star says. 'I feel like if we don't mix it up in life, what are we doing?'
Eva admits that she's 'learned a lot the hard way,' but one lesson has stuck out: when you start to get bored, your product becomes boring. 'I've tried to always reinvent my job just for myself, just to keep things interesting and to stay creative,' she says. 'I've learned a lot about staying true to myself.'
She's also learned to turn these lessons into teachable moments for her three kids: 'There is no learning without mistakes, and there is no getting better without mistakes either. So, I try to stay true to my advice when it comes to that and to focus on the things that you learn, of course. Everything is a learning opportunity, and the important thing is to kind of just pick yourself up and pivot,' she says.
Eva and Kyle Martino were married on Oct 29, 2011, and welcomed three children together: daughter Marlowe, born on Aug 9, 2014; son Major, born on Oct 19, 2016; and son Mateo, born on March 13, 2020.
As many also know, Eva and Martino separated only two months after announcing they were expecting a third child. Despite divorcing in March 2020, the pair remains quite close, especially when it comes to anything and everything to do with their kids. Since then, Eva has remarried to chef Ian Hock on June 29, 2024, completing their wonderful family.
Now you've probably noticed: all of her kids' names start with 'M,' and she has a story for each one!
While she says 'I loved the name Marlowe for a girl,' she has the coolest story for how she first found it: thanks to British Vogue. 'In the party section, there are different sections where they say people's names. They would have these amazing names like Honor, Frasier, and Juno. I remember taking note of them and finding like a handful of names that I really loved. And Marlowe, with an e on the end, was one of those names. … I was like, 'Wow, Marlowe Martino sounds just so cool.''
'My favorite name for a boy was always Major,' she says, referencing how she first heard the name on T.I's reality show, T.I. & Tiny: The Family Hustle. 'His son, who's named Major, was like 5 or maybe even younger. I was like, 'What a cool name. I've never heard that.''
Eva tells us she never planned on three kids — but the universe had other ideas. 'Then cut to we find out I'm pregnant again,' she says. 'And we separated when I was three months pregnant. So I was like, 'I don't want this kid to not only not have his parents together, but also have a name that doesn't start with M.' I got in my head about it — which now in retrospect is ridiculous, obviously. But I was pregnant. The hormones were flowing. So then I had to rack my brain for another M name. Mateo fits him perfectly, but it kind of just ended up like that.'
But the tradition does have some drawbacks, as Eva hilariously puts it: 'We have to write out the kid's full name when we're texting or writing about any of them. It's a minor inconvenience, but it has been a thing. So I will forewarn anybody that having three kids with the same letter, I would not recommend.'
As her fans may have seen, Eva's kids are currently living their best lives by fully embracing a more low-tech, throwback vibe (including a 100-foot slip and slide in their backyard!). 'Let it be a '90s summer,' she says. 'Let your kids get bored, read, and figure out something fun to do. As long as they're fed and safe. I think that kids being a little bored and having to make their own fun is great for the imagination.' Her three kiddos are doing a day camp, where they get to do so many cool things. 'They're getting on a bus every morning and going to camp all day, and they're loving it,' she says. 'They've been having so much fun. I mean, they've been doing everything — rock climbing, archery, swimming, and they had a foam party today.'
'It's really cool for me because it's the first year where all three of them can be in the same place because they're old enough now,' she adds, 'which is kind of a crazy milestone.'
Camp only lasts so long, though, and having to entertain your kid every day — especially during the summer months — can be overwhelming. However, Eva has a rule of thumb for parents: 'Give yourself some grace. You don't have to be a camp counselor extraordinaire. The kids don't have to be rocket scientists by the end of the summer. Just let yourself off the hook a little bit.'
When asked if she sees her kids going to a sleepaway camp, she laughed, saying, 'My daughter is turning 11 this summer, and she's like, 'I'm never gonna go to sleepaway camp. I wanna live with you till I'm 37!' Her exact words!'
That's no surprise, considering the close-knit nature of Eva's family.
'My oldest two are very close, almost codependent. They're almost like twins in a lot of ways,' Eva reflects. And as for 5-year-old Mateo? He may be the youngest, but the influence of his two older siblings has matured him more rapidly. 'Him being the third, he's almost more like an 8-year-old. He's grown up so quickly, and he's so mature because he has two older siblings,' she says. 'So now we're kind of getting to that point [where] he's not taking a nap, he's fully potty trained, he can hang.' To anyone who worries that their youngest won't bond with their older siblings, Eva has a message: 'It does get better. It gets more fun. You may end up with a third child who acts a little older than their years, a little precocious, but in my mind it's worth it.'
Of course, it helps that her family loves nothing more than quality time together. 'We just love doing things that are family events,' Eva gushes, 'whether that's going to the movies, going to the aquarium, going to try out a new playground, trying out a cool new restaurant. We also love doing things like scavenger hunts. We play a ton in our backyard. We play a ton of board games — we're a really big board game family.'
And when Eva says 'family events,' she means it: right down to the inclusion of her ex-husband Kyle.
'I think just in terms of family time, it was always my goal to have a really collaborative co-parenting relationship. I also come from a blended family, and while it was very blended, it wasn't collaborative,' she reflected. '[We didn't have a] kind of open door policy and, a lot of time together. I've spent a lot of time with both sides of my family, but there wasn't so much time of everybody [being] blended. Life is so short. Right? And we're so lucky for any time we have together as a family.'
Yes, her ex-husband is still her family — and don't you forget it! 'I'm very lucky that I have a co-parenting partner who has also centered the kids and really wanted to maintain that relationship,' she said. 'Kyle's not just my ex-husband. He's a member of my family.'
Eva does give a disclaimer, lest anyone think it's all sunshine and roses, all the time: 'We're not perfect, by the way. Like, our relationship has never been perfect, obviously. We got divorced for a reason. We didn't just do that for fun.'
However, she did give some advice for fellow co-parents, saying she and Kyle rely on respectful communication. 'I call it the coworker model,' she revealed. 'You really have to treat your co-parent the way you would treat your coworker, with the same level of respect. Your communications should happen between the hours of nine to five. You shouldn't be shooting off texts or emails. You should really think about, 'Would the content of my message be acceptable in the workplace?' And if not, then you need to process that in your own time, and you need to come to that person with a more appropriate message.'
Eva added, 'I think a lot of times, because we have had an intimate relationship with an ex-partner, we are used to coming to them in a more emotional way, and that is something that has to stop when you're co-parenting. That is my most practical advice. Hopefully, people can use it.'
Along with mindful communication, Eva is all about being mindful with everything she does — including her mini moments of self-care.
'I can't believe I used to ever think I was busy or tired,' she joked. 'I have vastly less time for self-care. Alone time and independent time has always been what fills my cup. I'm a really curious person, so exploring, trying new things, going to lunch by myself at a new restaurant, going to a museum on my own, even going to see movies on my own. That to me is such a luxury.'
She added, 'Having my own life kind of outside of my family, even if it's in these little micro ways, that for me is so important. It reminds me of the woman I am and was before I had kids. And for me, that allows me to come back to my kids with a lot more patience and energy, because I find that I can get burned out and tapped out, especially with three kids. It's a lot.'
While Eva is a talented, trendsetting force of nature, she is — first and foremost — a proud mom. Which means doing the best for her own family, regardless of others' opinions of what makes a 'perfect mom' or a 'perfect partner.'
'I think if becoming a mom, being married for the second time, going through a divorce, co-parenting has taught me anything, it's that what works for you and your family works for you and your family,' she says. 'Nobody else has to understand it.'
It is, perhaps, Eva's most empowering piece of advice: 'You create your own rules for your life,' she says wisely. 'There's nobody who comes down at the end of all this and hands you a trophy for doing it exactly how you were supposed to. That doesn't happen. Chase the joy. Make sure you're actively living your life and you're happy.'
And the secret to happy children? 'When they have two happy parents,' says Eva. 'Whatever that means for your family.'Best of SheKnows
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