25 People Share Stories Of The Most Unhinged And Uncomfortable First Dates They've Ever Been On, And I Am At A Complete Loss For Words
That's why when TikTok user @court.says.addtocart said, "Tell me your unhinged first date stories. Not 'he wanted to split the bill,' but something that gave you the ick so badly you still get queasy when you think about it." people of all ages flooded the comment section with their first date "horror" stories, and I honestly have no words. From fake double dates to mannequin parents, here are 25 of their most cringe-inducing stories:
1."He asked to go on a double date (which was weird for a first date anyway). At dinner, the other 'couple' was acting like they didn't know each other and weren't talking. The vibes were definitely off."
"The other girl and I talked in the bathroom, and we were actually going on a date with the same guy. His friend was just a decoy.
—mckramer07
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2."The man brought a mannequin to our first date and called it 'Dad.' I left immediately."
—mikaylaanderson1
3."On our first date, she asked me to sign a loan for her for $5,000.00 for home repairs she needed. If I were to do that, then we would have a second date."
—rodneyshoaf
4."He told me I looked like I'd be a good woman to have kids with, and our genes would blend so well together…on the first date."
"Then he asked to kiss me. When I said 'No,' he kissed me on the cheek instead.
He proceeded to make out with my CHEEK."
—_xoxo.soph_
5."He was a social worker at a psychiatric facility. He joked that he should have me 'Baker Acted' so he could see me repeatedly for 72 hours. He also laughed and said, 'No one would believe you over me.'"
—fierce.goober
6."He told me, while I was mid-sentence, that he didn't see a future with me because my eyebrows were too intimidating when I spoke. Those were his exact words."
—floppybewbs
7."Not me, but my mom went on a first date where the man shoveled chicken masala into his mouth with his bare hands and didn't wipe his face until my mom told him to as they were leaving the restaurant. He then asked if she thought they would make out, she said 'No, probably not', but continued the date."
"He proceeded to drink a singular beer at the next location before turning to her, saying he was too drunk to drive, and asking if it would be okay if he slept over at her house. She told him to figure it out himself and got an Uber home."
—mayajuanaaa_
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8."He ate popcorn off the movie theater floor as we were walking out."
—sea.chel
9."He told me that if I wanted to date him, I had to give up custody of my son, as he didn't take care of other men's kids. Yet, I would have to take on his kids as my own. I threw a drink in his face and left."
—bellerica0182
10."He nearly ate the entire appetizer when I ran to the restroom to wash my hands. I was gone maybe three minutes, and he only left me a single stuffed mushroom because he didn't want me to 'fill up' before dinner came."
"When the server came to take our entrée order, I found the most expensive and fattest steak they offered and ate all 16 oz of it in front of him. He looked at me with horror the entire second half."
—ash.uhhh.leyyy
11."He kept talking about himself and how much he made (it was okay, but come on, dude) and then launched into how he needed a woman who stayed home. I got up to go to the 'bathroom,' and the server let me out the back."
—fullmetalmokona
12."After I told him I couldn't get pregnant because I was infertile, he asked if I still had my 'lady parts.' When I said I did, he said I must be able to get pregnant and insisted he knew more about women's bodies than I."
—simskims
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13."He told me we were going out to eat, proceeded not to take me to the restaurant, went to Publix and said 'I suppose I can pay for your stuff' (all I got was a soda), then proceeded to take me to his apartment (he didn't ask me if I wanted to go there) and made me watch Black Widow with him."
"However, he didn't watch the movie because he was on his computer writing furry fanfic."
—vincentvalentinex0x0
14."He insisted on meeting me at work and showed up 30 minutes late, drenched in sweat. He made me walk to the restaurant from my office. I later learned that he rode his scooter, like a Razor scooter, and stashed it behind a bush with his helmet."
—kdrubio
15."Forty-five minutes after our first date, he fired off a spread-eagled selfie like my phone had suddenly been enrolled in a surprise gynecology rotation. It was unsolicited and straight Cirque du So No One Asked."
—tofuthxd_
16."I went on a first date with a veterinarian's son. Everything in his home had ducks on it! His house was on a lake and it had a duck blind built into it with a telephone."
"Guess what we had for dinner? Yep, duck!
He was a nice guy, but I knew I'd never be his first love."
—rhondarichardson123
17."He spun me around and said, 'I'd really appreciate it if you looked like Heidi Klum. You need to lose 50 pounds. What's your BMI?'"
—katehar1
18."He very confidently stated that by buying my dinner, he was essentially buying ME for the night. I handed him $20 to cover the drink I ordered and walked out."
—tiffanytwhalen
19."He wanted to watch Pink Floyd's The Wall. I thought he chose it because he understood I was an intelligent and artistic woman. Turns out that wasn't the reason at all; he kept pausing the movie every few minutes to explain it to me. He just wanted to flex how intelligent and artistic he THOUGHT he was."
—psycho.junk
Related:
20."On the first date, he said he didn't 'allow' girl trips! I simply said,' I don't allow being told what I can and can't do!'"
—brandiann_89
21."He asked me to be his girlfriend on the way to our first date. When I said no, he cried so hard he threw up, and I had to drive him home."
—skunkdumpstr
22."We decided to do a working lunch as we were both in grad school. I went to the bathroom. When I was walking back, I noticed that I was already the wallpaper on his laptop screen."
—raisedon90srap
23."Completely unprompted, he mentioned if he had been on one of the planes during 9/11, he would have stopped it bc his 'instincts would have kicked in.'"
—unhinderedeventuality
24."He started rapping from his Notes app and messed up his own lyrics. I still can't go to boba tea places without thinking about it."
—designedbymf
25."My dad died in the middle of our first date. I ran out yelling, 'My dad died, I have to go.' We've been married 17 years."
—hillaryoliverson
Did any of these stories surprise you? Have you ever been on an unhinged first date? Tell us about it in the comments or using the anonymous form below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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