Flush with excess

Sydney Morning Herald

13-05-2025

Having been reminded by our friend Carmel Kenniff of Randwick that she reads Column 8 over breakfast and having been informed by Graham Lum of North Rocks that 'the ongoing anecdotes about dunnies (C8) are becoming a pain in the butt,' we think now might be a good time to can the toilet talk, but not before we get an archival perspective from Wendy Bull of North Turramurra: 'I remember my history teacher in the '60s, telling us to count our blessings. The ancient Romans used a communal 'sponge on a stick' (called a 'tersorium') which they dunked in troughs of salt water and if there was no sponge available, they'd use shards of old pottery. If they were out in the country then soft growing moss was used. Think I know what I'd prefer!'
'If you were a brewer, Jim Dewar,
You'd gather that steaming manure,
Set up a still,
On top of the hill,
And brew Dewar's Pure Cow-lua.'
For this offering, we thank the epical George Manojlovic of Mangerton.
Richard Stewart of Pearl Beach has been a C8 contributor on and off for a few decades or so and wants to convey in strongest of terms 'I despise fitted sheets and fitted sheets despise me.'
'Years ago the circus, was parked next to our farm,' writes Kate Fraser of Scone. 'It was a very noisy night as something seemed to have disturbed the lions. Next morning, 300 upset dairy cows (C8) were pressed as close as possible to the shed gate. Milk yield was down for a few days.'
Kelvin Atkinson's (C8) premium offering has reminded David Prest of Thrumster that 'nobody's mentioned the man from Waltons who helped housewives plan their budgets.'
On hearing that New Zealand's Finance Minister Nicola Willis said that people leaving the country for Australia was 'an ongoing challenge', which could be addressed by growing the economy, Bill Leigh of West Pennant Hills recalled a statement made in the 1980s by then NZ prime minister Robert 'Piggy' Muldoon when commenting about the increasing exodus: 'New Zealanders who leave for Australia raise the IQ of both countries.'
'Not so sure about the wet newspaper test of sharpness (C8),' says Geoff Carey of Pagewood. 'I remember getting into a lot of trouble for using my mother's dressmaking scissors to cut paper. Apparently, paper blunts the blade.' Not with the good scissors, Geoff!