Legal Things That Are Unhinged
"Taking a bite out of a Kit Kat without breaking it apart first."
"Wearing a ski mask. I got reported twice for wearing a ski mask. It's cold outside, Karen. Damn."
"Digging a hole in your backyard at night."
"Going over your lawn with a vacuum cleaner instead of a lawn mower."
"Leaving your shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot."
"Pouring milk first, then cereal."
"Eating a hot dog or taco from the middle."
"Laughing at a funeral. I know because I've done it. I can't control my laughter. I just can't. Cut to everyone looking at me because I was cackling at a wake."
"Facing the wall in the elevator instead of turning around to face the doors."
"Rehearsing a conversation I never plan to have and nailing every comeback."
"Eating a gallon-sized container of mayonnaise."
"Wearing regular clothes while working out. Jeans, khakis etc."
"Starting a jigsaw puzzle from the center and leaving the border until the end."
"Gas station sushi."
"Walking a long distance behind a stranger because it happens we're going in the same direction. Or, being followed by a stranger because it happens we're going in the same direction."
"Showering with your socks on."
"Mixing foods that normally aren't eaten together (e.g., spaghetti with chocolate spread and strawberry syrup) for personal consumption."
"Walking backwards in public."
"Not brushing your teeth every day."
"Eating at a restaurant completely drenched, on a dry day."
"Walking around grocery stores without a cart or basket, just carrying way too many items in my arms while refusing help from concerned employees. I know I look unhinged, but at this point it's become a personal challenge."
"Using your phone in public, without earbuds or headphones, to have a conversation on speakerphone, play music, watch a video, or play a game with sound effects. Extra wild if it's somewhere where people are stuck listening for an extended time, like on a plane."
"Eating a stick of butter like a candy bar."
"Being barefoot on a plane."
"Taxidermy as a hobby."
"Denying life-saving coverage to people who will die."
And finally, "Find a public park with benches. Just sit on one, stare into space, and have just the creepiest grin you can pull off. You're not threatening anyone, attacking anyone, or antagonising anyone by merely existing in a public place. But the smile is enough to make a lot of folks turn around and go the other way."
What's a legal activity that always makes you cringe? Share your thoughts in the comments or using the anonymous form below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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