A star is born in the hairdressing world
His wife thought about this for a contemplative moment, then replied: 'Anywhere that doesn't take us past a Charles Rennie Mackintosh building, cos I can't be bothered with you giving me another lecture on how great he was.'
Poor hubby looked crestfallen.
Milk teeth
Time to enter the jaws of despair.
'I'm not saying people in my area have bad teeth,' says reader Barry Molloy. 'But I saw a bloke smile in Sainsbury's and the barcode scanner picked it up as a two-pint bottle of milk.'
Mouthing off
The Diary continues to examine the gory innards of people's mouths.
Claire Meehan's son visited the dentist and was surprised when the bloke with the pointy implements told him that, at the relatively mature age of 19, he had two new teeth burrowing their way through his gums.
'So you've got a couple of wisdom teeth coming in,' said Claire, when the lad returned home.
From behind his newspaper, Claire's husband muttered: 'That can't be right. I've never seen any evidence of wisdom. Are you sure they aren't eejit teeth?'
Talk is cheap
More teenage shenanigans.
Reader Nick Yorke went with his 17-year-old son to Glasgow to see the Fantastic Four movie.
As the pair returned home on the train, Nick's son realised, to his horror, that his phone was out of charge, meaning he wouldn't be able to sit hypnotised by TikTok videos for the remainder of the journey.
Nick told the boy that all was not lost, and the journey might not be a total wash-out.
'We could just, y'know, chat for a bit,' said Nick hopefully.
Nick's son merely shrugged, then said: 'Yeah, that… or I could sit here in despair.'
After a beat, the boy concluded: 'I'll just sit here in despair.'
Heroes to zeroes
On the subject of the Fantastic Four.
Reader Tony Kerr reminds us that the blockbuster flick would have been more fun if the superhero gang were Glasgow based, with suitably appropriate names.
Instead of Mr Fantastic we'd have… Mr Awright.
The Thing would be… The Hingmy.
The Invisible Woman… Mrs Ward-she-go?!
And The Human Torch… Burny Boab.
Booze news
Bon vivant Chris Warrington tells us: 'I've discovered it's true that whisky improves with age. The older I get, the more I like it.'
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