Eighties pop diva Tiffany looks back: ‘I didn't want to record I Think We're Alone Now, but my girlfriends loved it'

The Guardian

a day ago

Born in 1971 in Norwalk, California, Tiffany Darwish began singing at country fairs aged nine, before releasing her first album at 15. In 1987, her cover of I Think We're Alone Now reached No 1 on the Billboard Hot 100. The single was taken from her self-titled album, which reached No 1 in the Billboard 200 chart, making her the youngest female artist to top the US charts with a debut album at the time. Exploring rock and country, she has since released another 10 albums and appeared in reality TV shows including The Masked Singer. She has a son, lives in Nashville, and runs the food community Let's Food With Tiffany. Tiffany performs at Retrospective festival in Merseyside on 5 September.
This was taken in New York by Lynn Goldsmith. I hated that my teeth were crooked, so I wouldn't smile in photos, and I do look a little self‑conscious. But I loved this shoot and everything it represented. I was 16, and transitioning from the cute, girly pop look to a more womanly, coming-of-age aesthetic. My hair and makeup looked a little more mature and sexy, which was kind of taboo back then as I was so young.
When I got back to California, my manager saw the picture and went crazy. There was a big fight. 'I don't like that image,' he said. 'Absolutely not. Too sexy. You shouldn't have worn those clothes.' Until that point, most photos of me were pretty Plain Jane. I'd get put in tutus and overly happy outfits; mainly it was just a jean jacket. All of which was very at odds with who I really was – darker soul, a little rock'n'roll.
I started out in beauty pageants and won Little Miss Norwalk when I was just a toddler. I would come on stage and dance while the older girls were getting changed – I didn't have a routine, really, I just kind of moved my fists and did my thing for three minutes. Even then, I was never afraid of the stage. I loved it. I loved music, too – I would steal my cousin's vinyl, and adored the artists my grandmother listened to, like Chubby Checker and Marvin Gaye. I was singing all the time and loved the way it made me feel. It made me feel pretty.
When I was nine, my parents had some friends who were having a get-together with musicians. My dad said: 'Tiffany sings all the time. Get her up there.' As soon as I started singing it got real quiet in the audience. The atmosphere turned weird. Why was a 30-year-old woman's voice coming from a child's body? People didn't know how to respond, but it was clear I needed to explore it further.
I didn't want to record I Think We're Alone Now when I first heard it. It was dancey, and I worried that it wasn't going to show that I could actually sing. I was 14, and I had this vision of me being Stevie Nicks or Janis Joplin. Then, one afternoon, I had my girlfriends over to do homework. I put it on and they immediately started dancing around. I realised there is something about this song that makes people feel good. Still today, it never lets me down.
Naturally, my career became a little more intense after I got successful. There were compromises to be made, and it was isolating, because I was travelling all the time without family, friends or the routine of school. I was a teenager, up at the crack of dawn, doing promo all day, off to shows at night and then … goodnight! The band and crew would head to the bar, and I was left alone in my room, not sure how to unwind. I immediately went into sadness, because I didn't know how to get rid of that pent-up energy. Musicians often turn to drugs or alcohol, but I took a lot of hot baths and racked up big phone bills.
At the start of my career, there were a lot of women who inspired me – Carol Decker, Kim Wilde, Taylor Dayne, Samantha Fox. I watched how they composed themselves backstage, how they dressed, how they handled the audience. Standing up for myself and saying what I needed was novel until I saw them do it. Even before I was famous I had no voice. My mum was an alcoholic, and being the child of an alcoholic, you learn to cope. Anything that's going to make her day better, I'd roll with so as not to disturb the peace. I took that same approach to most of my career. To this day, I still don't fuss. But now I know what's good for me and I don't question speaking up.
My third album was the first that included my own songwriting. Unfortunately it didn't have the right support from the label. I think they thought: 'We don't know what to do with her.' One minute I was this wholesome girl; the next I am in a bodysuit with dyed black hair, wrapping myself around a pole in the photos. It didn't sell well as a result of their lack of backing. That kind of attitude – this confusion about me becoming an adult – followed me for years. So much so that I waited until I was in my 30s to do Playboy. Even then, people still said: 'What have you done? Where's the 15-year-old we loved?'
At 53, I still feel like I'm finding my way as an artist. I've done some albums and they've got good reviews, but they are definitely not in the charts and they're not on radio, either, so people will ask: 'Where did you go? Are you still singing?' I try not to get insulted, because I'm living my dream, even if I'm not No 1. I have to remind myself: 'How lucky am I to perform in front of an audience, to travel and meet new people all the time?'
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I'm probably more body-conscious now than I was back then. My weight yo-yos a lot, and my lifestyle doesn't make it any better – I am a huge foodie. Maybe it's the Lebanese in me – all the women on my dad's side are voluptuous, but my mum had three kids and she still had this tiny, perfect body. When you're in menopause, there's a lot of resistance to losing weight and the old tricks don't work any more – the Hollywood diets, eating only cucumbers. Over the years I've tried everything and it's not sustainable, so I am trying to come to terms with the fact that it's not about size, it's about how you feel – although I did just lose 15lbs through gardening. I was digging in the humidity of Nashville. At one point I took a selfie for Instagram, but the image of me hot and covered in mud was a real fright. I was like: 'Tiffany, there's being real and then there's scaring people.'
Another change is that I got tattoos. I have the word 'Gypsy' on my arm, because the life of a musician is very nomadic. My whole life is packed into one bag. Recently, I flew straight from America to Dublin and had a stopoff in the loo at Heathrow to get ready – using baby wipes instead of a shower, trying to add my sparkle and glamour in a tiny stall. I laughed at how absurd it was, but I was also thinking: 'Beyoncé does not have to do this.'
I also have a tattoo of a beautiful butterfly with jagged edges. I haven't filled in all the colours on its wings yet, because I don't feel I'm completely transformed. Maybe I'll never fill them in. And maybe that's OK.