Why Kristen Doute's baby rules make a lot of sense
When The Valley star Kristen Doute laid down her rules for meeting her newborn baby girl, Kaia Lily, the internet did what it does best: it had opinions.
The 42-year-old Vanderpump Rules alum, who welcomed her first child with partner Luke Broderick, 34, on June 20, took to Threads to share a no-nonsense list of dos and (mostly) don'ts for those hoping to get close to her daughter.
Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.
'Don't kiss my baby': Kristen Doute's mum rules are the kind we all need
The rules, straight from Kristen herself
'Don't kiss my baby; don't touch her face,' Kristen wrote in a July 7 post. 'If you were out of town, at a party, have even a TICKLE in your throat – don't come over; get that TDAP shot, baby!'
The TDAP vaccine (short for tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis) is the U.S. equivalent of Australia's whooping cough (pertussis) vaccine. Here, it's recommended that pregnant women receive the vaccine in their third trimester, and anyone planning to be in close contact with the baby should be up to date too.
Kristen continued: 'If I'm cool with you holding her, I'll let you know. So please don't ask and make it weird. (Moms – you're not crazy. Babies are small & germs are big.)'
She followed up on July 8 in an Instagram Story to explain her approach, saying: 'Thank you, mums and people who just 'hearted' the way that I want to protect my baby… Just support it. It's up to me… I think a lot of mums feel guilty that they don't want to let people hold their baby or get too close. I'm like, 'Hello, it's called boundaries,' and I want her to be healthy and safe. This little nugget.'
RELATED: 'Hostile' mum shares 'high intensity' rules for new baby
'The Valley' stars, Kristen Doute and Luke Broderick got engaged in September 2024
I had rules too - and not everyone liked them
I had my youngest son during a whooping cough outbreak, and I can tell you - it changes everything. I had rules. Strict ones.
No kissing. No cuddles unless you were appropriately vaccinated. No visiting if you'd been travelling, to a party, or had so much as a raspy throat. Some people were understanding. Others acted like I was being dramatic.
I was accused of being overprotective. I was told I was making people feel 'unwelcome.' And I definitely felt the chill from people who stayed away altogether.
Babies need protection, not politeness
But here's the thing: newborns aren't just tiny versions of adults. Their immune systems are immature. A mild illness in us can be really dangerous for them. A sniffle can mean a hospital stay. A kiss can spread viruses like RSV or cold sores that can be life-threatening.
And yet somehow, we're made to feel awkward for putting rules in place?
Kristen was right when she said, 'Moms – you're not crazy.' Because that's how it feels, especially in the fog of sleep deprivation and postpartum hormones. But boundaries are not only allowed - they're necessary.
RELATED: 'This is f'ing brilliant!' Mum's unique rules for newborn visitors
Trending in Parenting
The hidden cost of being cruel to toddlers on planes
Mum baffled after school denied kids leave for holiday
It's not about your feelings - it's about their safety
As parents, we are the line of defence. If we don't advocate for our babies, who will? Setting boundaries doesn't mean being rude. It means being responsible.
And if someone feels a bit miffed that they didn't get to snuggle a six-day-old baby with a runny nose? That's a them problem.
So whether you're a reality TV star or just another mum doing her best, your rules are valid. Your boundaries are worth defending. And your baby's health? It's more important than anyone's ego.
Originally published as 'Don't kiss my baby': Kristen Doute's baby rules shouldn't be controversial

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles

Herald Sun
3 hours ago
- Herald Sun
How menopause can damage marriages, relationships
Don't miss out on the headlines from Mental Health. Followed categories will be added to My News. Fractured friendships and strained marriages are among the hidden tolls of menopause, as experts call for a 'Me Too-style' movement to push the topic into the spotlight. New research from News Corp's Growth Distillery has revealed the profound impact menopause is having on the lives of Australians, with nearly one in five of women saying it is eroding their mental health. The research commissioned for the Can We Talk? campaign, in partnership with Medibank, found a quarter of all Gen X ranked it as a top stressor. Experts say the mental health effects of perimenopause and menopause often interfere with work, relationships and daily life, but are too often misdiagnosed or misunderstood. Women's health psychologist Leanne Mulheron said it was a 'discombobulating, challenging time' that could be a 'make or break' for many relationships. 'There's a reckoning that happens for many women because they don't have the capacity to keep managing how they were before … and that can mean re-evaluating relationships,' she said. 'Menopause is like living in your house during renovations – our brains change so much with fluctuating hormones but we're still having to parent and be friends and be carers.' A lack of understanding from partners and spouses, dwindling libido and pain during sex could also cause tension. 'Menopause is often shrouded in lots of shame, so sometimes women endure painful sex, or continue having sex despite having no desire to,' she said. 'There's a huge impact from a relationship point of view. 'Communication is key, and being explicit about how people can support you.' Ms Mulheron said a Me Too-style movement could fuel much-needed awareness and support for women. 'If we all just got up there and said 'this is what's happening to me', it could pave the way for more conversations and validate how women are feeling,' she said. Monash University HER Centre Australia director and psychiatrist Professor Jayashri Kulkarni said many studies showed a sharp rise in mental health issues in perimenopause, and added that suicidal ideation was 'frighteningly common'. Professor Jayashri Kulkarni But some women were being misdiagnosed with conditions such as bipolar disorder. She said hormonal fluctuations could be a tipping point for many issues women grappled with. 'You get the arguments of 'women in midlife have complicated lives ... it's not the hormones, it's the life things',' Professor Kulkarni said. 'Of course, it's all the life things, but there is a tipping factor. 'The woman who was coping before, suddenly can't cope. 'The tipping factor, we think, is the hormonal shifts in the brain that create the chemistry and circuitry changes that lead to mental ill health.' She said it was critical to build understanding and education about the symptoms – including anxiety, brain fog, depression, rage, loss of confidence, paranoia and fatigue – as well as treatments. Podcast host Alex Merton-McCann, 53, said she suffered through 'hormonal chaos' for years, which manifested in depression, anxiety, brain fog and withdrawing from friends and family. Alex Merton- McCann (centre) with her friends Paula Woodcock (left), and Maddie Thomson (right). Picture: Julian Andrews. 'I hit really dark times but initially no-one, including my doctors, realised it was hormone related,' she said. She found herself unable to continue with her podcast, The Grown Up Girls Report, in which she ironically explored the topic of menopause. While her husband had been very supportive, she said he didn't have the 'tools' to help her navigate the period. So she turned to her friends who helped normalise her experience. 'I felt like I was flying blind but my friends got me out of the spiral,' she said. 'The shared experience is so powerful. 'I finally feel like the windows are open again now.' Meanwhile, some big businesses are starting to take action to help women navigate the challenges. Medibank is offering staff – 70 per cent of whom are female – a fully-funded telehealth service including a consultation with a doctor and a personalised care plan. Dr Shona Sundaraj, Medibank group medical director and GP, said up to 50 per cent of women in perimenopause or menopause experienced new or heightened symptoms of anxiety. 'We need to educate women about the connection between menopause and anxiety,' she said. 'We must encourage open dialogue and work to destigmatise mental health issues during midlife.' Tips from GP Dr Shona Sundaraj, Medibank Group medical director, on navigating menopause Educate yourself and others Understanding what menopause is – and isn't – helps reduce fear and stigma. There's a lot of false information out there — lean on reliable women health resources like The Jean Hailes Foundation and educate yourself and family and friends who are supporting you. Learn about common symptoms, like hot flashes, mood swings, sleep disturbances and memory fog. Trusted information Read from reputable sources or consult healthcare providers. Share what you learn with your loved ones. Normalising menopause helps create space for honest conversations. Prioritise physical health Lifestyle choices can ease symptoms significantly. Back to basics is really important: good food, quality sleep and body movement, in particular strength training, is crucial at this stage of life. Exercise boosts your mood, maintains bone density and supports sleep. A balanced diet should focus on calcium, vitamin D, fibre and whole foods. Try to minimise intake of processed foods that will add to belly weight gain. Sleep hygiene is important. Create a calming bedtime routine and limit screen time before bed. Talk to your doctor about hormone therapy, supplements or other treatments if needed. Talk with friends and family Don't carry the emotional load alone, it also helps if your loved ones are aware of the changes you're going through. Help them understand what support looks like for you – even if it's just listening. Practice self-compassion and flexibility Menopause can be unpredictable, and some days will be harder than others. Just remember, peri-menopause and menopause are normal stages of life and any woman that is in her 40s or beyond is going through it with you. You're not alone. Give yourself permission to rest, say no, or adjust plans. Remind yourself this is a phase, not a personal failing. This is a normal stage of life. Just like childhood, puberty or having children. Empathy is important Perimenopause and menopause doesn't signify ageing, it's a transition in life. We need to acknowledge that quite often women at this stage of their life are at the peak of their careers, while looking after teenage children and helping elderly parents. This can compound how women manage. Let's create space, understanding and empathy for women in their 40s to 50s. Can We Talk? is a News Corp awareness campaign, in partnership with Medibank, helping Australian families better tackle mental wellbeing. To follow the series and access all stories, tips and advice, visit our new Health section.

Courier-Mail
4 hours ago
- Courier-Mail
Shelly Horton on the dark truth about perimenopause
Don't miss out on the headlines from Celebrity Life. Followed categories will be added to My News. When Shelly Horton found herself in the ICU after an ablation in 2020 (a simple procedure to stop persistent bleeding), it didn't cross her mind that it might be a symptom of perimenopause. Nor did she join the dots between a raft of sudden physical and mental changes – heart palpitations, increased body temperature, 'brain fog', and debilitating depression – and perimenopause. The now 51-year-old says she'd never heard the word before, and instead was told by doctors that it might be cancer and was sent for an ultrasound. 'They said, 'Great news, you haven't got cancer. You must be stressed and maybe you should take up a hobby',' Horton tells Stellar. 'I drove home in tears, blaming myself, and didn't go and see another doctor for nine months.' Media personality Shelly Horton has opened up about her health journey through perimenopause. Picture: Daniel Nadel for Stellar It wasn't until the TV presenter consulted with her friend, Dr. Ginny Mansberg, whom she met as a fellow panellist on Seven's Sunrise in 2008, that she was able to make sense of her suffering. Before that defining moment, she hadn't considered herself in the target market. 'I thought menopause was for women in their late 50s, their period stopped and they got hot flushes,' she explains. 'I had that stereotype in my brain of grey-haired old ladies clutching their pearls and fanning themselves. 'I was like, 'I'm a fox. I'm way too young and fabulous.' 'I didn't understand that perimenopause can last 10 years so, in fact, I was right in the average age group.' Once she started to feel better, Horton got mad. Specifically about the menopause cone of silence which perpetuates the dearth of knowledge and poor treatment options for women. 'We've been taught by our mothers and past generations that it's just women's problems so you keep it to yourself,' she says. 'A heads-up would have been nice. I felt like the sisterhood let me down. 'Secret women's business holds women back. This whole 'soldier on' of the boomer generation, I'm like, 'No, I'm Gen X. We're going to get loud about this.'' 'I didn't understand why anyone cared about my uterus and what I did with it.' Picture: Daniel Nadel for Stellar In 2023, Horton shared her experience at the first parliamentary roundtable on menopause alongside respected experts – the first time 'menopause' had been mentioned in the Australian Parliament. It sparked a Senate inquiry, with Horton inadvertently becoming a spokesperson on perimenopause. It's not the first time Horton has led the charge on de-stigmatising taboo topics for women. When she 'bravely' wrote about her decision to stay 'child free' in 2013, she copped a pile-on from dissenters and was trolled on social media. But she takes heart in knowing it started a national conversation. 'I had comments like, 'A woman who doesn't want kids is not a real woman. She's a waste of a uterus.' It was awful. I didn't understand why anyone cared about my uterus and what I did with it.' As the TV presenter sees it, one of the many upsides of being child-free is having the freedom and funds to travel. The former Today Extra panellist reveals how she got through 'dark times' and rebuilt herself. Picture: Supplied She and her husband, Darren Robinson, whom she met 'the old-fashioned way' in a bar in 2013, renew their wedding vows in every country they visit. In 10 years of marriage, that's 25 vow renewals. 'Sometimes it's been incredibly romantic in the Maldives with the sunset. Then we nearly forgot in Iceland and we did it on the plane as we were taking off,' she laughs. They also run their production company together, Robinson behind the camera ('the workhorse') Horton in front ('the show pony'). She says their two rescue dogs were a salve during her three years of depression. 'My wonderful husband would put me to bed and hand me a puppy.' Adhering to her motto of 'adapt or die', Horton's career trajectory has been 'eclectic'. She was a producer for the first American Survivor in Borneo, a crime then health reporter for the ABC, Sydney gossip columnist, panellist on Today Extra, and host of Married at First Sight's spin-off TV show. It's a long way from home for the girl from Kingaroy in regional Queensland. 'From the red soil to the red carpet,' she says. Now she can add author to the list, documenting her harrowing menopause experience – along with evidence-based advice from experts – on paper to support other women going through it. Despite the turmoil of menopause, Horton reveals it has also helped her too. 'I wish I could just say, 'Slap on some HRT [hormone replacement therapy], you'll be fine', but it's not as simple as that,' she tells Stellar. 'I had to do the work. I had treated my body as a rental. 'I had to have the appointments with the psychiatrist. I had to change my lifestyle, improve my sleep, increase my exercise. 'I'm living proof that you can go through dark times and come out. Perimenopause broke me, but then I rebuilt me.' I'm Your Peri Godmother by Shelly Horton (Murdoch Books, $34.99) is out Tuesday. For more from Stellar and the podcast, Something To Talk About, click here. Originally published as 'I had treated my body as a rental': Media personality Shelly Horton reveals life-changing health message to Australian women


West Australian
a day ago
- West Australian
Mid West flu cases surge to 326, surpassing 2024 total amid spike in respiratory illness and low vax rates
Influenza cases in the Mid West have already surpassed last year's total, with local health professionals urging residents to take precautions and get the flu shot amid a sharp spike in respiratory illnesses. As of July 23, 326 influenza cases have been recorded in the Mid West so far this year, eclipsing the 314 cases reported in 2024. Alarmingly, 224 of those have been reported in just the past three months, up from 136 in the same period last year. Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) infections are also climbing, with 151 cases recorded so far this year, well on their way to surpassing the 217 cases recorded in 2024. 'Lots of presentations for viral infections, upper respiratory tract infections and influenza-type symptoms presented to both pharmacies and so we've definitely seen the effect of that.' Despite free flu shots being available through the National Immunisation Program, Mr Buise said the number of people coming in for the vaccine appeared to be lagging. 'Unfortunately, with vaccination rates, I don't think we're achieving what we should be,' he said. 'I'm not sure whether it's vaccine fatigue or not, but we've seen lower rates of flu vaccines and an increased rate of presentations with flu-like symptoms.' With the season far from over, Midwest GP Network chair Richard Taylor urged those feeling unwell to look after themselves and the community. 'It is really important to stay home if you're unwell as airborne transmission of these very infectious viruses is how they spread. 'The key message is please stay home; your work colleagues will thank you for it. For those vulnerable people, it really is important if you're unwell to stay home.' Mr Buise encouraged those who have not had their flu jab yet to get it done. 'Getting in now and having your flu vaccine is better than not at all,' he said. 'It's providing protection for (your) family and for our aged community as well.'