Love, Actually... Can Wait: Why Gen Z Is Choosing Themselves First

NDTV

8 hours ago

New Delhi:
You know that moment when someone texts "wyd (what you doing)" at 2:03 am and expects emotional intimacy by 2:06? Gen Z has decided, no. Not today, Satan.
So when alt-pop sensation Chappell Roan casually announced on Call Her Daddy podcast that while she's "very in love", she's also "pro-single," the Internet had a collective "wait... same" moment.
It wasn't just a statement. It was a mood, a manifesto and a mirror to the emotional calculus Gen Z has been making for years.
"Everyone should be single," Roan said, adding, "Find out for yourself if you can 100 per cent be okay alone before you date."
Chappell Roan during the podcast
And just like that, she echoed what millions in her generation are already doing: choosing to opt out of performative dating, shaky situationships and exhausting emotional labour. Not out of fear, but out of clarity.
When "Very In Love" Means Loving Yourself First
Chappell Roan's declaration isn't about cynicism. It's about self-sufficiency. It's a love letter to solitude, to the version of yourself that doesn't wait for a text to feel worthy. And Gen Z gets it, deeply.
This generation has mastered the art of calling it quits when energy feels off. They don't settle for "bare minimum" affection, they don't confuse attention for care and they've become fluent in cutting ties with anything that feels like emotional breadcrumbing.
From Instagram reels declaring "I'm staying single forever" to memes mocking the "good morning" texts that go nowhere, Gen Z is rewriting what it means to desire and demand connection.
A 2025 Rasmussen Reports poll revealed that 37% of singles under 30 say they're not even interested in dating, and nearly half of Gen Z is "intentionally single". They're not waiting for love to rescue them. They're waiting until it's real and resting, thriving and healing in the meantime.
Gen Z Isn't Anti-Love. They're Anti-BS.
It's easy to mistake this trend as a generational "fear of commitment," but that misses the nuance. Gen Z isn't afraid of deep connection. They're just over shallow ones.
From redefining the "talking stage" to popularising "situationships," they've created an entirely new language to express where they stand. And while the idea of a relationship used to be synonymous with stability or adulthood, Gen Z sees it differently.
According to Tinder's 2024 Future of Dating report, Gen Z ranks personal growth and self-care above romantic relationships. For many, romance is no longer a 'milestone', it's an optional chapter. One you can skip or rewrite. Your wish.
The Burnout Is Real
The dating pool has never felt more crowded, yet somehow more isolating. Apps, once hailed as the future of matchmaking, have become emotional slot machines, delivering validation in doses and disappointment in bulk.
As one viral Instagram reel put it: "We're single because we're looking for '90s love in this generation - slow jams, handwritten notes, and landline calls - not ghosting and 'wyd' texts followed by eight hours of silence."
The constant cycle of swiping, small talk and dashed expectations has led to what can only be described as romantic burnout.
According to Gen-Z therapist Swasti Jain, "Finding a partner is not Gen-Z's top priority anymore; building themselves up and chasing their dreams is."
And in the age of Rs 5K dates and economic uncertainty, there's a real cost to emotional investment. Financially and mentally, dating is exhausting, and Gen Z is saying "no thanks" unless it's worth the energy.
Dating? Optional. Self-Worth? Non-Negotiable.
In past decades, being single was viewed as a limbo, a transitional phase before the "real" life of marriage and family began. But for Gen Z, singlehood is a destination in itself. A safe, sacred space where healing, self-discovery and community flourish.
In fact, a study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that Gen Z adolescents reported more satisfaction with being single than any previous generation. They're comfortable in their own company, and they don't see that as something to fix.
"It's about priorities," said relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, adding, Marriage and relationships used to be seen as must-haves for a stable life. But Gen Z is flipping the script. They're choosing to focus on being independent, taking care of their mental health, and securing their money first. "
It's Not Just About Avoiding Pain, It's About Choosing Peace
If millennials slowly walked away from traditional dating models, Gen Z is sprinting. And they're not looking back.
This shift isn't rooted in fear; it's a radical act of emotional intelligence. Choosing singlehood, for many, is choosing clarity over chaos, solitude over small talk and peace over performative partnership. They're not waiting to be chosen; they've chosen themselves.
They're not afraid of love, but they refuse to call anything love that doesn't come with honesty, depth and reciprocity.
"You Can Be In Love And Still Be Pro-Single"
Chapelle Roan's comment wasn't contradictory. It was refreshing. In a culture that often expects people to abandon their single friends the moment they get cuffed, she made it clear: you can be coupled and still respect the sanctity of singleness.
For Gen Z, this isn't just about relationship status. It's about identity, autonomy and rejecting the notion that your value is tied to someone else's presence.
Yes, this generation still cries during rom-coms. They still watch The Idea Of You and 1 0 Things I Hate About You with their best friends.
But their version of "happily ever after" might just be this: healing in silence, hyping up your friends and refusing to settle for anything less than a love that matches the one they've built within.
So if Gen Z is choosing to stay single, it's not because they've given up on love. It's because they've finally figured out what it isn't.