Allyship Is A Choose Your Own Adventure: 5 Roles Leaders Play

Forbes

a day ago

Growing up in the 1980s and 90s, the appeal of Choose Your Own Adventure books was undeniable. Each chapter presented a fork in the road, empowering readers to direct the protagonist's journey and feel deeply immersed in the narrative. This concept, I've found, is a powerful metaphor for allyship in the workplace. Far from a rigid, one-size-fits-all approach, effective allyship is a "choose your own adventure" – an uncharted yet deeply rewarding path.
My research reveals five primary allyship roles that individuals can embrace: mentor, sponsor, advocate, coach, and challenger. The key is to identify the one, two, or at most three roles that genuinely resonate with your skills, confidence, and motivation. Allyship isn't a check-the-box activity; it's a consistent practice of intentional actions that evolve over time, adapting to industry, function, or leadership position.
The Mentor: Guiding the Path Forward
Mentorship in allyship is a one-on-one relationship focused on guidance and advice. Consider one of my clients, a senior leader who, as a mentor, excels at helping his mentees prioritize their workloads. He actively listens to their tasks, understanding their importance and resource demands. This is particularly impactful for women, who often bear the brunt of "non-promotable tasks" – the administrative and voluntary activities that, while necessary, don't always contribute to career advancement. By helping offload these burdens and sharing the load, he helps his mentees focus on high-impact work, leveling their chances of success and fostering true inclusion.
My own mentor, exemplifies this role. As a leadership professor, he seamlessly integrated me into academia, offering weekly guidance on everything from syllabus modifications to student feedback. His commitment goes beyond his job description; he invests in my success because he cares, demonstrating how allies park their egos and genuinely invest in others, making everyone better. His mentorship has not only prepared me for success but also helped me navigate the "untold rules" of a new industry, truly leveling the playing field.
The Sponsor: Speaking Up When It Matters Most
Verná Myers, Netflix's first Head of Inclusion, eloquently distinguishes sponsorship from mentorship: "mentors talk to you; sponsors talk about you." Sponsorship is a one-to-many relationship, where allies leverage their influence to speak up on behalf of others in spaces where they aren't present. One of my clients who is a Chief Inclusion Officer, highlights this by stating, "Sponsors vouch for others when they are not there and pass the microphone to others when they are there (advocacy)."
Sponsorship, while crucial, is often underutilized due to the inherent risk involved. It requires allies to stake their own career capital on someone else's behalf. Affinity bias often leads us to sponsor those who are similar to us, making it safer to take risks on them. However, true inclusion demands that we extend sponsorship to those with more points of difference from the dominant group.
A friend of mine is in the military. He illustrates two-way allyship and the power of sponsorship. Early in his career he was sponsored by someone of a different race. His sponsor explained the complex career advancement process and began speaking up for him in promotion discussions. These insights were pivotal to his early career success, demonstrating how allyship can transcend traditional power dynamics and identity groups. Without that vital sponsorship, he might have quit, underscoring the profound impact of allies who reveal unspoken rules.
The Advocate: Amplifying Voices, Challenging Injustice
Advocacy is about using your voice to speak up against injustice and encouraging others to do better. The Netflix documentary Will & Harper beautifully showcases this. Will Ferrell, through his road trip with Harper Steele, learns to be an advocate for the trans community. He learns to lean into curious conversations and challenge anti-trans rhetoric. This is the essence of advocacy: noticing inequities and speaking up, sometimes on others' behalf, to ensure their voices are heard and seen.
Karen Catlin, a former senior leader in tech and allyship expert, benefited from allies like Digby, who would subtly say, "What I learned from Karen." This simple act ensured Karen received credit for her ideas, crucial in an environment where the contributions of historically marginalized groups are often overlooked. Advocacy is about ensuring everyone is given credit, not interrupted, and has an impact on decisions. It is perhaps the most popular allyship role because opportunities to amplify voices and foster inclusion are boundless.
The Coach: Fostering Self-Discovery and Potential
Coaching in allyship involves creating space for self-discovery and growth through open-ended questions and active listening. Early in my career, as a new manager, my supervisor taught me invaluable lessons through coaching. Instead of providing answers, he'd ask, "Help me understand, Julie..." This approach, initially frustrating, empowered me to solve my own problems, leading to my team's success and my subsequent promotion.
Coaches also act as mirrors, reflecting back our potential when we doubt ourselves. When I was uncertain about transitioning to a facilitator role, my ally, a coach, reminded me of my past successes, combating my internalized doubt, especially in a male-dominated field. His belief in me, and his ability to hold up that mirror, allowed me to see my own talents, ultimately sparking my entrepreneurial journey.
The Challenger: Providing Equitable Feedback and Growth Opportunities
Being a challenger in allyship means providing equitable feedback and ensuring access to stretch assignments. Adam Grant's concept of "scaffolding" in Hidden Potential perfectly captures this role. Just as scaffolding protects construction workers, allyship scaffolding provides a safety net for individuals to take risks and grow.
As allies, we must offer transparent, equitable feedback that helps others improve. Grant's experience as a springboard diver, where instant scores provided immediate feedback, highlights the importance of this. By providing constructive criticism and challenging individuals to step outside their comfort zones, we create an environment where everyone has the opportunity to develop and thrive.
The journey of allyship is unique for everyone. Just like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, the path isn't linear, but by embracing these roles – mentor, sponsor, advocate, coach, and challenger – we can collectively build more inclusive and equitable workplaces for all.
Which roles will you choose to embark on your allyship adventure?