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Yahoo
40 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Here's How To Tell If A Throuple Might Be Right For You
"Hearst Magazines and Yahoo may earn commission or revenue on some items through these links." The beautiful thing about non-monogamy is that it can take on many, varied forms: An ethical non-monogamous dynamic can look like one polyamorous person having multiple romantic and sexual partners, or several individuals all in a non-hierarchical relationship together. One term you might've heard is 'throuple,' or triad, which describes a relationship structure between three people. Not to be mistaken for an open relationship (where people in a relationship have sex with people who are not their partner) or a threesome (sex between three people), a throuple is a balanced, consensual, and committed relationship. And while the term might be new to you, there's nothing new or unusual about the concept, says Ann Rosen Spector, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Philadelphia. "It's totally possible to be in love with more than one person at one time," she says. So, what is a throuple, exactly—and what should you know if you're interested in being in one? Read on for the full lowdown, according to therapists and social workers who work with polyamorous folks. A throuple, or triad, is a balanced, consensual, and committed relationship between three people. "What it means is that each person is in a relationship with another—it's a three-way relationship," says Carolanne Marcantonio, LCSW, an AASECT-certified sex therapist with Wise Therapy in New York. Like a couple, or a relationship between two people, the members of a throuple might have a "closed" relationship, or an "open" one. In some cases, "one person could be open to dating others, but another person in the triad isn't," Marcantonio adds. "It really just depends." Different people in different dynamics might have their own definition and rules for the three-way relationship, so if you meet someone in a triad (or you're about to join one!), it's always a good idea to clarify what being in a throuple means to them. Anything that isn't a monogamous, exclusive, two-person relationship falls under the non-monogamy umbrella, says Anna Dow, LMFT, a therapist with Vast Love. And there are infinite types of polyamorous relationships, adds Marcantonio: "The sky's the limit." Here are a few more polyamory-related words to know: Quad: Four people who are in a committed relationship with each other Polycule: A network of individuals who are all in relationships with each other Kitchen table polyamory: A network of individuals who are in relationships with each other; if someone new is brought into this dynamic, they must generally get along with the rest of the group (think: feel comfortable sitting together at a large kitchen table) Parallel polyamory: When a polyamorous person has multiple partners who don't really interact with each other (essentially, the opposite of kitchen table polyamory) Polyfidelity: When a throuple, quad, or larger polycule are "closed" and do not see people outside of their group In some cases, a couple might meet a third person, become interested in them, and decide to bring that person into their relationship, says Spector. In other instances, someone might know they'd like to join an existing couple, and seek out this kind of relationship dynamic. "If someone is oriented towards knowing that they can love more than one person responsibly, and if they feel like they can enter a relationship with an existing couple—and there's chemistry, and connection between both and everyone agrees that they'd all like to be dating together—wonderful," says Marcantonio. Aside from the joy of getting to date two people you like (or love), being in a throuple can help you get all your needs met, adds Spector. Think about it like this: When you have a third person involved, chances are, you'll expose yourself and your original partner to qualities that both of you may want but can't offer each other. If you feel like you're fully ready and wanting to add a third, Spector suggests letting your current partner know by gauging their interest. You can say something like: "I'd like to invite someone else into our relationship. How would you feel about having X join us and becoming a throuple?' Just like in any kind of relationship, being in a healthy throuple requires consistent communication and trust. "It's the same as a monogamous relationship—the only difference is, it'll be happening with two other folks," says Marcantonio. However, there are some specific things you'll want to watch out for, per relationship therapists: Different triads have different preferences, needs, and boundaries. Some examples of questions you'll want to discuss, according to Marcantonio: "If everyone is open to all having other partners outside the triad, what does cheating look like? Do we all tell each other and have complete transparency when we're talking to someone on the app, when we're planning something, when we've had sex?" Aside from discussions about sex and dating outside of the throuple, you'll want to talk about your own dynamic as a trio, too, adds Spector. Would you prefer to only have sex as a throuple, for example, or is it okay for two people to have sex without the third? 'It really depends on the triad and how they would like to set up the rules,' says Jennifer Schneider, LICSW, LCSW, a psychotherapist specializing in LGBTQIA+ clients and those who identify as polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous. 'It may be that a throuple sits down with each other and actually spends a few hours hammering out what might be relationship agreements.' People's needs can fluctuate over time. So, continued communication is important, says Marcantonio. Spector recommends setting regular check-in times with your partners—and also checking in on your own needs, too. One of the biggest issues a throuple might face is triangulation, says Marcantonio. "Triangulation in a relationship is when there's one person who avoids directly interacting, usually with the person they have a conflict with," she explains. "So instead, they use the third person to confide in, to talk to." This can inadvertently put one person in the middle, Marcantonio adds. It can happen in friend groups, family dynamics, and—of course—romantic relationships that involve more than two people. So, if you have an issue or frustration with one of your partners, make sure you're talking to them directly. It's a common misconception that polyamorous folks don't deal with jealousy. But, in fact, they can and do, says Schneider. It's a natural human emotion. "It does take a lot of self-awareness and reflection to be in a poly relationship, because you will have feelings that come up that you need to sit with," Marcantonio adds. If you find yourself feeling twinges of envy, Marcantonio recommends "staying curious" and digging into the root of the issue. Is this something you can navigate on your own? Is this something you'd like to discuss with your partners? Did something trigger this emotion? These can be tough questions to work through, so if you're struggling, you might want to check out a resource like The Jealousy Workbook by Kathy Labriola, which is chock-full of tools and exercises for people in polyamorous 'ships. When some people hear "throuple," they might hear "threesome." But this dynamic signifies an emotional, intimate relationship between three people. They go on dates together, have deep conversations together, and confide in one another. "It's not all about sex," says Marcantonio. "It's people who really uniquely enjoy having deep, intimate connections that go beyond sex." Throuples can be made up of people of any gender identity and any sexual orientation who choose to be together, Spector says. 'Pop culture depicts them as primarily female-female-male threesomes in an imbalanced way that often fetishizes the relationship structure,' adds Dow. 'In reality, however, throuples are just typical relationships comprised of people of any genders. And like all relationships, each one has its own set of benefits and challenges.' News flash: throuples, quads, and other forms of polyamory are nothing new. Marcantonio recommends checking out the book Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan for further reading on the history of non-monogamous relationships. "We were much more communal many, many decades ago," she adds. Ultimately, being in a throuple might not be for everyone—as humans, we all have different needs and preferred relationship structures. "Some people are more wired for monogamy, and that's what they like and want. Others are able to do poly; they might be more wired for that, and that works great," Marcantonio says. "There's no one 'natural' way to have a relationship." Meet the experts: Ann Rosen Spector, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in Philadelphia. Anna Dow, LMFT, is a therapist who specializes in non-monogamy at Vast Love. Carolanne Marcantonio, LCSW, is an AASECT-certified sex therapist with Wise Therapy in New York. Jennifer Schneider, LICSW, LCSW, is a psychotherapist specializing in LGBTQIA+ clients and those who identify as polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous. You Might Also Like Jennifer Garner Swears By This Retinol Eye Cream These New Kicks Will Help You Smash Your Cross-Training Goals
Washington Post
an hour ago
- Washington Post
Army will end most of its ceremonial horse programs and adopt out the animals
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Army's history is closely tied to its cavalry units, those soldiers who rode into battle on horseback. But the service announced Tuesday that it's moving toward a future without the ceremonial horses and will put most of them up for adoption. The Army, however, will keep operating the Old Guard ceremonial caisson units at Joint Base San Antonio and Arlington National Cemetery for burial honors.
Associated Press
an hour ago
- Associated Press
Army will end most of its ceremonial horse programs and adopt out the animals
WASHINGTON (AP) — The U.S. Army's history is closely tied to its cavalry units, those soldiers who rode into battle on horseback. But the service announced Tuesday that it's moving toward a future without the ceremonial horses and will put most of them up for adoption. The Army, however, will keep operating the Old Guard ceremonial caisson units at Joint Base San Antonio and Arlington National Cemetery for burial honors. Ceremonial cavalry units will be closed down at bases, including Fort Cavazos in Texas, whose horses were showcased during the military parade in Washington on June 14, which was the Army's 250th anniversary and also President Donald Trump's birthday. Army spokesperson Steve Warren said other ceremonial units will close at Fort Carson in Colorado, Fort Sill in Oklahoma, Fort Irwin in California, Fort Riley in Kansas and Fort Huachuca in Arizona. The Army estimates that closing down the units will save about $2 million a year, and the changes are being made as part of its overall warfighting realignment, Warren said. The Army is giving the affected bases 12 months to shutter the units. A total of 141 horses will be adopted outside the military, Warren said. Some horses may be donated to organizations, but none will be sold, he said. The horses 'are part of the Army family, we're going to treat them with compassion,' Warren said. The Army has just recently resumed caisson operations at Arlington National Cemetery after an investigation found the horses in those units were mistreated, left to graze in lots with little grass, leading them to consume sand and gravel. Two horses died in 2022, and caisson operations were suspended until earlier this year. The Arlington National Cemetery horses are part of the caisson platoon of the 3rd Infantry Regiment, known as the Old Guard, which is best known for guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at the cemetery, located just across the river from Washington. ___
