I've stolen £20,000 from the high street & half of my holiday wardrobe was ‘free' from Primark – I can't help it
Buried amongst them and out of plain sight is a swimsuit and two t-shirts but I have absolutely no intention of paying for them.
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I've been doing this on a weekly basis since I booked my holiday to Portugal earlier this year.
On one level I feel very guilty, stealing is wrong but it feels like a compulsion that makes me feel alive.
Not only do I get a buzz while I'm stealing, but when I put on the swimsuit to stroll down to the beach next month, I'll feel another thrill.
I don't steal because I'm broke - I earn a decent wage and can afford the clothes - I do it out of excitement and greed.
I feel it has turned into an addiction.
I've been shoplifting for the past five years and if I add up the price of all the items I've swiped, it totals around £20,000 - or £10 a day.
I'm the last person you'd think is a thief. I work as an estate agent and I've been married for 14 years. I don't have kids myself but I adore my seven godchildren and I volunteer for a homeless charity.
My taste for petty thieving started as a teenager, when I'd help myself to the odd lipstick from Boots and a photo frame from a local card shop.
I'd dabble in shoplifting if I'd spent all my £10 a week pocket money, but it was rare.
For years I stayed on the straight and narrow because I had money, socialised constantly, and loved going to the gym. My life was exciting enough.
My shoplifting addiction began completely out of the blue during the Covid 19 pandemic.
I'm an extrovert, and the isolation of not working and being in the company of only my husband John, 46, took its toll.
Ironically, he works in security at a shopping centre near our four-bed home in a leafy part of Manchester but he had no idea that he'd soon be living under the same roof as a seasoned thief.
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It was in April 2020 when I stole a block of cheese from Tesco.
I've no idea what came over me – I'd filled my basket and started putting the overflow into my tote bag as I browsed the aisles with the intention of paying at the checkout.
But when I reached the tills, I paid for everything else except the cheddar.
I'd acted on impulse and whilst I felt prickled with shame, I also felt strangely excited about what I'd just done.
It gave me something else to think about other than how miserable and lonely I felt.
During my next trip to the supermarket I did it again and it has continued from there.
I swore to myself that I'd stop once lockdown ended and life was back to normal but the exact opposite has happened.
Five years later I feel ashamed to say I'm addicted - I steal from everywhere, on a daily basis.
'I feel guilty'
I help myself to face creams and nail varnishes on cosmetic stands and food essentials in big supermarkets.
Stealing a candle from Primark for the first time two years ago I felt no other buzz like it.
I can't stop. Half of my summer holiday wardrobe is 'free' thanks to Primark.
I would never steal from a small independent shop because they don't have the big profits that chains do.
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I never hide items, my stealing could be taken for being accidental.
It's a case of 'forgetting' to scan everything at the tills and I always make a purchase. If I was confronted I could easily pretend I'd made a mistake and got in a muddle.
If I buy a bunch of flowers I put two in my basket, but scan only one at the self scanning checkout.
And I also make sure I've got a basket full of items.
I wasn't surprised when I read recently that £2.2billion a year is lost in the UK to shoplifting or that it costs Primark more than it pays in rates.
It's an alarming number yet I'm not alone in my friendship group in contributing to the losses.
I've confessed my addiction to a couple of friends - ordinary women like me - and half of them admit they shoplift too.
Even the ones you'd never suspect, which normalises what I do.
I operate on a policy of plausible deniability – so I can easily pretend it's a mistake and I got in a muddle.
Zoe Walters*Shoplifter
Years ago a friend told me she was bored with her ordinary life and that she was either going to take up shoplifting or have an affair – I was shocked.
But now I understand where she was coming from, and I will always be a loyal wife.
I would never tell my husband – he'd be livid - and I was mortified to almost be caught by my mum recently.
We'd been to Primark and among the items I didn't scan was a red dress she wanted.
Later, after trying it on, she changed her mind and asked for the receipt to take it back for a refund.
Terrified of shoulder tap
I had to feign surprise as I looked at the receipt, claiming that it must not have scanned at the till.
I told her I'd take it back - but I sold it on Vinted instead.
I felt ashamed because I know how upset my mum would be if she knew the truth.
And I live in fear of being caught in the act.
That tap on my shoulder is what I dread more than anything because the thought of what might happen if I was prosecuted is horrendous.
However, like with any addiction the buzz outweighs the risks and for now I'll carry on.
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It's extremely depressing that so many young people are being exposed to videos that glamorise this behaviour - without understanding how dangerous it really is. Scrolling through video after video of young women boasting about being strangled is truly horrifying. Explore your fantasies by all means - I'm The Sun's Sexpert, I believe in a varied and vibrant sex life - but there must be a line. Consent, communication and safety must always come first. Because what's fashionable online isn't always harmless - and sometimes it can be fatal. 'Shame' Orla Davidson, 26, was left with bruises around her neck after her partner strangled her during a sexual encounter earlier this year. The restaurant supervisor told us: 'We had a few drinks, went back to his and started having sex - then he began choking me. I did not give consent. 'His hand was pushing on the front of my neck with a lot of pressure, I remember thinking 'this is hard' - and then I don't remember a certain portion after that.' Two days later, bruises emerged around her neck that grew darker, which Orla hid with high-necked jumpers. 'There was a lot of shock and not knowing how to react to it, and feeling a weird kind of shame,' she recalled. 'I knew I should confront [the man] but didn't know how to have that conversation.' Orla confided in a friend who was 'shocked' by the bruising. 'She said, 'he f***ing strangled you.' I'd known it was bad but her reaction confirmed it. I'm definitely worried women are being subjected to similar things.' She is also concerned about the accessibility of normalisation of choking and violent content on social media and dating apps. Orla added: 'There's a lot of videos on TikTok, especially men telling the camera, 'I'm gonna choke you' as though speaking to a woman. 'I've had to block many men on dating apps who say things like, 'I'm gonna hurt you'. "Some people use the guise of being open-minded or being into BDSM when they're actually into hurting women. 'There's nothing wrong with women wanting casual sex, that's not the issue. It's the fact you can go on a date and end up dead.' 'Embarrassment' Another victim, Steph - not her real name - told The Sun she blacked out and had a seizure while a male friend choked her during sex - then convinced her not to seek medical treatment. Now 21, she says: 'Choking was something I'd experienced guys liking and doing since my first relationship when I was 14, which in itself is concerning. 'But this time was different. I remember him choking me on and off and my vision going as I blacked out. "I tried to tap him to make him stop, but the next thing I knew I was thrashing about having a seizure and my leg hit a glass and broke it. "He didn't stop or let go immediately. I dread to think what could have happened.' I remember him choking me on and off and my vision going as I blacked out. I tried to tap him to make him stop, but the next thing I knew I was thrashing about having a seizure and my leg hit a glass and broke it. He didn't stop or let go immediately. I dread to think what could have happened Steph Afterwards, she wanted to go to hospital but the man talked her out of it, fearing it would get him 'in trouble'. 'It was terrifying, I wanted to get checked out but I also didn't want to be seen as that girl who ruins someone else's fun or as a prude," she recalls. "My initial reaction was embarrassment, or feeling like I did something wrong. You're not confident in what's normal or not in sex, especially when you're younger.' Steph fears the accessibility of extreme porn to youngsters is normalising violent sex. She is also concerned about toxic influencers like Andrew Tate - who is facing rape and strangling allegations. A TikTok Spokesperson said: "We do not allow fetish or kink behaviour on our platform, we have removed content which breaches our rules and proactively remove 97 per cent of this type of content before it is reported to us.'
