Thornaby manslaughter suspect released on bail
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The Sun
23 minutes ago
- The Sun
I agreed to husband's request to try swinging – but now he wants divorce because I enjoyed it ‘too much'
DEAR DEIDRE: AGREEING to my husband's request to give wife-swapping a go has totally backfired. He is now threatening divorce because I enjoyed it 'too much'. I'm 34 and my husband is 42. We'd been blissfully married for eight years until setbacks affected our relationship. Last year, my husband was made redundant and his mum got very ill. Even when he found a new job and his mother recovered, he was still distant with me. Our sex life went from wild to mild, to non-existent. We argued. Life was depressing and it felt like we were bickering siblings. Eventually I demanded he talk to me and he admitted he'd been using porn to distract himself from his problems. In particular, he'd been watching swinging videos. He suggested we try wife-swapping to bridge the gap between his fantasies and our real-life marriage. I was desperate for us to be happy again, so I agreed. We found a good-looking couple through an app and met them at a hotel. We had dinner then all went upstairs. My husband had booked adjoining rooms. The other man calmed my nerves by stroking and kissing every inch of my body. I've never been so aroused. I pulled him on to me and we had incredible sex. I had multiple orgasms. Dear Deidre After Dark- Understanding open relationships We never saw them again. Back home the next day, I expected things to go back to normal, and our sex life to perk up, but my husband seemed cold and withdrawn. Then one night he came home drunk, ranting that I'd enjoyed it too much. He raged about a camera he'd hidden in the hotel room and how he'd watched me 'in ecstasy' over and over again, and he showed me the footage on his laptop. He's threatening divorce now because he can't trust me. What should I do? DEIDRE SAYS: Jealousy is always a risk when a relationship is opened up, as my Swapping And Swinging support pack explains. Your husband should never have filmed you without consent. That's a criminal offence and, if you reported him, could lead to up to two years in prison. Your relationship has come to a crisis point and you need to think very clearly about what you want. Counselling will help you work this through. You can go alone or with your husband to help you decide whether you want to stay together. (020 7380 1975) provides counselling for individuals and couples. He has become over-reliant on porn, which is having a huge impact on your marriage. My support pack, Pornography Worry, explains where he can get specialist help. I CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC NEW FATHER DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS drunk when my wife told me she was pregnant but I don't want to be drunk at the birth. My parents were both alcoholics. I left home as soon as I could, getting a live-in job at a hotel, and I'm now a chef in a restaurant. I met my beautiful wife four years ago and I should be the happiest man on Earth, but I can't stop drinking. It started in the hotel where we'd all have a beer after work. It boosted my confidence and made me more talkative. I was soon drinking during my shift but nobody minded. I met my wife during a pub crawl and she loved my persona. She didn't realise it was down to the seven pints I'd had. When we moved in together, we'd 'share' a bottle of wine over dinner. She'd have one glass, I'd finish the rest. When I went for my job interview for my current restaurant, I held my hands under the desk to hide their shaking. The management was strict so there was no drinking during the shift. I started hiding vodka in the cisterns, taking a sip whenever I went to the loo. Soon I was drinking all day, even when I wasn't working. I don't even remember my wife telling me she was pregnant. But I do remember the look on her face when she found the empty bottles I'd stashed in the spare bedroom – the room I'm decorating to be a nursery. I can't be a drunk 33-year-old dad. Please help. DEIDRE SAYS: It is great that you've had a wake-up call. Children who grow up with alcoholic parents often develop drinking problems themselves. But there is hope, especially if you want to break the cycle with your own family. Your GP is your first port of call for alcohol problems. They can provide confidential advice and refer you to the many NHS alcohol support services for further help. You can see what's available at You can also contact the charity It offers free, confidential support to people in England and Scotland who have challenges with drugs, alcohol or mental health. It runs local support centres and an online chat service. My Drink Problem support pack will also help. DEAR DEIDRE: HOW can my wife and I revive our sex life when we have teenage kids at home? I'm 45, my wife is 42. We've been married for 20 years and we have two kids, 15 and 14. Aside from a bit of moodiness, they're both great teenagers and doing well at school. But with the long holidays, one or the other of them is always around and it's putting a dampener on our sex life. My wife and I are both quite noisy in bed and prefer spontaneous sex to a sedate fumble under the duvet. We both work from home, so in theory there should be plenty of moments when we could grab each other for some fun. But, in practice, a teenager usually wanders into the room as soon as we start snogging. We've never been caught in the act but several times I've had to hastily pull up my trousers or jump in front of my wife to protect her dignity. We can't afford to book hotels or jet off for a dirty weekend. DEIDRE SAYS: In fact, holidays are even worse, as our teenagers still want to come with us and often bring along a friend. Is there a way to boost our sex life without alienating our kids? You might need to channel your sense of adventure into finding different ways of satisfying your desires, at least until your kids leave home. Try morning sex. Most teenagers prefer to wake up late, so set your alarm an hour earlier and use that time to reconnect. If you don't have them already, install a lock on your bedroom door and bathroom. You could also explore making love in the bathroom with the shower running – it can drown out a lot of moans and whimpers. You obviously need privacy but it won't traumatise your children to know you still have an active sex life. They'll just jam on their headphones or turn the TV volume up. There are lots more ideas in my support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun to Sex. I suggest that you read it together. SON IS OUT OF CONTROL DEAR DEIDRE: I AM losing control of my son's behaviour. He's 11. I'm a single mum to him and his 14-year-old sister. Their father isn't involved. If I ask my son to do something 'boring' like tidy his room or clear up his plates, he kicks off, shouting and swearing. Punishments like grounding, or no Xbox, improve things for a while but then he reverts. Recently I heard him having a row with my daughter, telling her to kill herself. What can I do? DEIDRE SAYS: Your son sounds unhappy. He might be missing his dad or struggling at school but you can't help until he opens up. Activities such as building, cooking, going for walks or drives usually encourage kids to chat. It's unacceptable for him to tell your daughter to kill herself. That's a frequent insult on social media – he might be spending too much time online so set stricter screen-time limits. This is a lot to cope with alone. Talk to (0808 800 2222) for free, impartial support. Are we right for each other? DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner spends every evening in bed watching telly. We're both 32 and have been together for 12 years. We possibly rushed into things as we moved in together three months after we met. She got pregnant a year later and we now have two kids. We were happy so I never questioned if we were right for each other. But I'm questioning it now. I have a busy job but in the evenings I'd like us to connect with a family game, a walk or a nice meal. Her response? 'I'm tired.' She goes to bed early and watches TV until she falls asleep. I feel trapped. DEIDRE SAYS: Try not to nag her into changing. Instead let her know you're worried about her and miss her company. Her lifestyle suggests she might be depressed, or suffering from fatigue. A GP check-up would be an idea, then counselling. My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, would be good to read together. It can be a talking point to help you make changes as a team.
The Sun
23 minutes ago
- The Sun
Manchester fiend Hashem Abedi wins back jail privileges including Freeview TV despite scalding & stabbing three guards
MANCHESTER Arena terrorist Hashem Abedi has won back prison privileges as a reward for 'good behaviour' — including a TV package. Jihadist Abedi, 28, who stabbed and scalded three prison officers in April, has had his regime raised from 'basic' to 'standard'. 3 3 It means he also gets more canteen credit and time out of his cell at tough HMP Belmarsh in South East London. And the thug will have more cash for phone credit and can use the gym again. A source told The Sun on Sunday: 'They do that when someone behaves and it makes a huge difference to how comfortable the inmate's life is. 'He'll get Freeview TV with about 25 channels, can afford better food and won't be in his cell as much. 'Naturally he is cock-a-hoop about it but many of the officers who look after him are less than happy — especially considering what he did to their colleagues.' Abedi was sentenced to 55 years for helping his suicide bomber brother Salman, 22, plan the 2017 arena attack. It led to 22 deaths and left more than 1,000 injured. While held at Frankland Prison in Durham, he threw boiling liquid over a female officer and stabbed one of her male colleagues five times. Another who was slashed in the neck was 'lucky to survive' the April 12 outrage. Abedi was moved to Belmarsh and has now been barred from contacting under-18s amid fears he could try to radicalise teens from jail. The source said: 'There are fears he'd encourage someone else to carry out an attack. It begs the question why his regime has improved if he still holds extremist views. 'He's still massively high risk so all his movement will be under heavy escort but his life will be much more comfortable. It just seems wrong.' 3
Daily Mail
23 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
Fugitive Brit who Spanish police believe is a 'hitman wanted for murder' arrested in the Costa del Sol after a car crash that saw a pistol and silencer spill out over the road
A fugitive Brit believed to be a hitman who police say was wanted for murder has been arrested after a run-in with two women at a Costa del Sol petrol station and a subsequent car crash. Police released photos of pistols, ammunition and a silencer seized in his vehicle after the suspect, described locally as having links with 'one of London 's most dangerous crime gangs', tried to flee and they held him and discovered he should be in prison. The pics showed the unnamed Brit was also carrying a book called 'Practical Buddhism and the Search for Self.' The arrest was made in an area called Riviera between La Cala de Mijas and Marbella. Respected local paper Sur said he was wanted for 'several assassinations' and reported the argument he had at the petrol station was with two Dutch women he started berating after trying repeatedly to get them to buy him cocaine. A spokesman for local police in the municipality of Mijas, who are employed by Mijas Town Hall, said: 'A British man has been arrested in Riviera who had a warrant out for him ordering his remand in prison for murder.' He added: 'While conducting surveillance work in La Cala de Mijas, officers were called yesterday to deal with an altercation at a petrol station in the area. 'Upon arrival, they interviewed a customer at the station who stated that a foreign man who had been harassing her had already driven away from the scene. 'Shortly afterwards, a call was received alerting us to an accident on Orfebres Street in Riviera. 'Upon arrival the officers found a damaged vehicle that matched the one involved in the incident at the petrol station. The driver attempted to flee when he saw police but was quickly intercepted by the officers. Once identified, they verified that he was a British man with a warrant for his arrest and remand in prison for murder. 'He was also carrying several firearms and a large amount of ammunition which were seized. 'After being arrested, he was handed over to the Civil Guard police force so he could be taken before a judge and subsequently imprisoned.' Police offered no detail about the exact nature of the crimes he was wanted for or any information about his age. As well as two pistols and the silencer they are also said to have found a contacts book with names and addresses in his crashed car which they have handed over to Civil Guard investigators to go through. The photos they released of the smashed-up Nissan Qashqai showed the British man had hit a lamp-post in a residential street. He has already been remanded to jail on the orders of a judge in Fuengirola. Sur reported today: 'An investigation remains open to clarify his links with organised crime.'
