‘Rugby league, you undefeated beautiful thing!': Vossy strikes commentary gold again

The Spinoff

2 days ago

His voice is synonymous with rugby league, and Vossy delivered yet another pearler on Sunday night. Here are some of the Aussie commentator's very best from over the years.
When heartbreak turned to last-minute triumph for the New Zealand Warriors on Sunday evening courtesy of a runaway try from Leka Halasima, there was no better voice to be narrating the drama than that of Fox Sports rugby league commentator Andrew Voss. Vossy, as he is affectionately known, has become an iconic commentator for many league fans around the world. From providing commentary on the first Rugby League video game released in 2003 to calling numerous World Cup finals, here's a round-up of some of Andrew Voss' finest calls.
'And now, the awakening of the gods from the New Zealand Māori.'
The New Zealand Māori team first played against the Indigenous Dreamtime team on 26 October, 2008 as the curtain raiser to the first match of the 2008 World Cup. As the Māori side begin their haka, Voss quietly primes the uninitiated viewers on what is taking place. For Māori and Indigenous Australians, the pregame challenge between the two sides has now become a highlight of the annual contest.
'He's kicked it as hard as he possibly could and the bloke tucking into a Krispy Kreme donut up in row 28 just copped it in the head.'
It was round 11 of the 2014 NRL season and the Wests Tigers were losing 8-0 to the North Queensland Cowboys. With only two minutes left on the clock, Vossy placed a classic commentator's curse on Tigers winger Pat Richards, talking about him needing to pull out 'one of his special kicks' before Richards went on to kick it into the stands on the full. While the ball didn't hit a bloke tucking into a Krispy Kreme, it sure was a memorable Andrew Voss moment.
'Straight down the hey diddle diddle.'
I might be just too young to remember but apparently saying 'straight down the hey diddle diddle' was once quite a common thing in rugby league commentary. Thankfully, it wasn't still this way when I was watching the footy as a youth, as 'diddle' had a completely different meaning for me. Anyway, Andrew Voss – the league nut that he is – was clearly fond of the saying, which was a pretty apt description of the superb play that resulted in a go-ahead try for the Rabbitohs in their 2019 round 25 match against the Sydney Roosters. Vossy has also used the saying in its more common context, which is for saying a kick has gone through the middle of the posts.
'He's a rugby league gazelle.'
Sometimes, fiction becomes reality. This line was a famous Vossy quote from the very first Rugby League video game released in 2003. However, Voss found reason to quote himself in this 2020 contest between Manly and the Storm. Long-time fans were delighted.
'I'm struggling to find adequate superlatives to describe this performance.'
While it's a quote from the Rugby League video game, this pearler of a line is synonymous with Andrew Voss. It captures the kind of language viewers have become so accustomed to Vossy using on the regular during his commentary. Most likely one of his most-quoted quotes.
'If it's a try, you can hire me a gorilla mask and I'll wear it for the rest of the match.'
What I admire about Vossy is his willingness to wear his heart on his sleeve. While many commentators may be too timid to openly speak their minds on certain calls or plays, Voss is quick to let viewers know what he thinks. In fact, he was so confident that this potential try would be disallowed by the bunker in a 2014 round 4 match between Wests and the Warriors that he declared he would wear a gorilla mask if he was wrong. He wasn't.
'The fireworks that they all expected – well, they've erupted. The ball shooters, the roman candles, and whatever fireworks you can think of, they've erupted here.'
Tensions were high in this 2006 international test between the Kiwis and Kangaroos. Steve Matai stopped a try in the corner and Kangaroos winger Matt King took a disliking to the shove from Matai – resulting in a brawl between the two sides. Vossy took the chance to liken the scrap to an explosion of very specific fireworks and the moment remains a great piece of NRL commentary to this day.
'And Mason gets the shoulder from Kidwell, who gives him the rounds of the kitchen after it.'
In the same test as above, Kangaroos legend Willie Mason was shown on the live broadcast mouthing 'fuck off' at the Kiwis haka. He went on to claim that he was directing his insults towards Brent Webb, who is an Australian-born Torres Strait Islander. Regardless of the reason, Auckland-born Mason was on the receiving end of one of the greatest hits in rugby league history from David Kidwell, who proceeded to let Mason know what he thought of him after the fact – which Vossy described as giving him ' the rounds of the kitchen '. It is a moment burnt in the memory of many rugby league players of my generation.
'Three letters, four points – it's a try!'
Another classic Vossy one-liner from the Rugby League video game. While the game was full of memorable phrases from Voss, this is one I still find myself quoting today. Other iconic quotes from Voss in the game include: 'He'll be counting his ribs after that one', 'they had the voodoo dolls out for that one, and it's worked!' and 'he's no stranger to stitches, but they may have to get the staple gun out for that one'.
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'Rugby league, you undefeated beautiful thing!'
We all know how much Vossy loves footy. There are few commentators who remind us it is the 'greatest game of all' more than Andrew Voss. When star Warriors rookie Leka Halasima stunned Newcastle Knights fans at their own ground on Sunday night by recollecting a charged down field goal to trot over 40 metres and score a game-winning try in the dying seconds of the game, Voss's passion for rugby league was on full display. It was an iconic moment, with an iconic voice in commentary.