What makes a man in his 50s cheat with a woman OLDER than his wife? Relationship expert weighs in after Coldplay 'kiss cam scandal'

Daily Mail​

4 days ago

The Coldplay concert kiss cam footage that exposed a tech CEO embracing his female HR chief has become the subject of global headlines.
But as the details of Astronomer boss Andy Byron and his employee Kristin Cabot's apparent relationship came to light, it raised even more questions.
One of the talking points that surprised online pundits, if they in fact were having an affair, was: 'Why did he cheat with an older woman?'
Now, an Australian dating expert has offered an explanation as to why a 50-year-old man might opt for a woman two years his senior given so many choose the cliché 'younger model' route.
Perth-based matchmaker Louanne Ward said there's a pervading stereotype that affairs always involve an older middle-aged men cheating on their spouse with a much younger and more attractive woman.
But Louanne debunked this myth, explaining that the apparent cheating circumstances unveiled in the viral video are more common than people may expect.
'When news broke that Andy Byron and Kristin Cabot were caught in an intimate embrace at the Coldplay concert while both still married the internet exploded,' she said.
'And yet… he didn't 'trade in' for a younger, sexier model.'
Louanne told FEMAIL she wants to dispel the common 'cliché'.
'There's a longstanding stereotype that when middle-aged men cheat, they do so with someone younger, sexier, more idealising, looks up to them or is an opportunist looking for some form of gain. Society almost expects it to the point where people look out for that type of dynamic,' she explained.
The Aussie matchmaker then delivered an 'uncomfortable truth' about this type of scenario.
'When the "other woman" is also married, established, and successful in her own right - there's no clear gain, no power imbalance, no obvious manipulation. They both have so much to lose and yet, they risk it.
'That tells us the connection is emotional.'
Louanne said that in these sorts of infidelity circumstances, the affair often develops out of a shared emotional 'resonance' amongst the parties that has nothing to do with age or appearance.
'[H]e doesn't choose her for status, youth or convenience it's for resonance.'
The matchmaker stressed that beyond the recent headlines - and the memes - there was also an important 'societal myth' that we should 'retire' about men only ever cheating for 'youth and beauty'.
'Sometimes… they cheat "up" for something they've never had. Sometimes they cheat up because its a safer option,' Louanne said.
'But let's not forget something important. Cheating is NEVER the fault of the person being cheated on.'
'Affairs are a reflection of the internal void in the person who stepped out.'
She explained that although there's never 'justification for betrayal', dispelling the myth that man only ever cheat 'down' was important for anyone in a relationship to understand - and particularly those who find themselves in a similar situation.
'Sometimes when connection is missing, even the most successful person will still crave significance,' Louanne explained - adding that this can be found in someone irrespective of their age.
The suspicious relationship between Mr Byron and Ms Cabot was exposed during Coldplay's sold-out show at Gillette Stadium in Boston last Tuesday July 15 when the pair were filmed cosying up during the concert.
After they were projected on the stadium kiss cam, a stunned Mr Byron quickly dropped his arm and ducked down out of sight while a horrified Ms Cabot turned away, covering her face with both hands.
When Coldplay frontman Chris Martin clocked the couple's reaction to the kiss-cam, he cheekily remarked: 'They're either having an affair… or they're very shy.'
Their awkward reaction, along with the frontman's commentary, sent the moment viral online.
The fallout was swift.
Mr Byron, who had been placed on leave following the incident, officially resigned amid an internal investigation by Astronomer.
In a statement, the company said: 'Our leaders are expected to set the standard in both conduct and accountability, and recently, that standard was not met. Andy Byron has tendered his resignation, and the Board of Directors has accepted.'
The scandal not only impacted the lives of Mr Byron and Ms Cabot, but also their respective partners, Megan Kerrigan and Andrew Cabot.
Ms Kerrigan, who is 50, appears to have since deleted family photos with Mr Byron and changed her surname on Facebook since the incident.