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Independent Singapore
7 hours ago
- Independent Singapore
‘She could be with someone who has more time and money' — Man wonders why his rich, beautiful GF never gave up on him
SINGAPORE: A young lad recently confessed on social media that he struggles to understand why his girlfriend, who is rich, beautiful, and academically brilliant, has never walked away from him despite his flaws. In a lengthy post on Reddit's SGexams forum, he shared that he and his girlfriend come from completely different worlds. 'I'm from a single-parent, low-income household, currently studying in a mid-tier JC (junior college). I wear thick glasses, look pretty average at best, and spend most of my time buried in books trying to survive A-levels and break my poverty cycle,' he wrote. 'She, on the other hand, is rich and hot. Her GPA (grade point average) in poly is a perfect 4.0.' Despite their vastly different backgrounds, he said she never once made him feel inferior and has always stood by him through thick and thin. She showed up to all his band performances with flowers in hand, and for his birthday, she surprised him with concert tickets because she knew how much he wanted to go. Eager to spend more time with him, she even downloaded 'Valorant' so they could play together. Also, whenever he needed time to focus on his studies, manage his part-time job, or look after his mum, she always gave him the space he asked for. Even with her tendency to overthink and worry, she never questioned his need for distance and continued to be understanding and supportive. In contrast, the man said that he failed her in almost every way. On her birthday, the only things he could give her were 'a handmade card, an origami cat, and a plushie he sewed himself using old clothes,' as he couldn't afford to buy flowers. 'She said she loved it and even teared up, saying she preferred handmade gifts, but still, I felt so, so lousy.' When it came to her sports finals, he couldn't be there to support her because of his exams, but even then, he said she completely understood. Beyond that, he confessed he wasn't the easiest person to love. He struggled with 'poor emotional regulation' and often found himself getting frustrated with her too quickly, especially when he was stressed or overwhelmed by financial pressures. But she never reacted harshly. 'She just stays patient, tries to understand, and gives me space when I need it. I hate that she has to deal with that side of me. She gives me so much love, and I don't understand what I've done to deserve any of it. She could be with someone who has more time, more money, more to offer, but she's with me… and I love her for it, but at the same time, I'm scared I'm holding her back,' he wrote. 'I keep wondering why. Why would someone like her choose someone like me? I want to believe she's truly happy, but there's this constant voice in my head that says I'm not enough. I don't know if I'm overthinking or just deeply insecure. I love her, and I want to be better for her. I just wish I could feel like I deserve her, too. I don't know how I can be better for her,' he added. 'It's the heart and thought that count.' Hoping to encourage him, many netizens left kind and supportive messages. One after another, they pointed out the traits his girlfriend likely noticed and appreciated in him. 'Give yourself some credit. She sees you fighting despite your limitations (e.g., taking care of your mom, studying for As, making handmade gifts). There's nothing more attractive than a man that refuses to surrender and does the best he can,' one comment read. 'You don't need to be rich or match up to her; this ain't a competition. It's the heart and thought that count—that's why she says she prefers handmade gifts, because if you think about it, no matter how rich you are, if you replace love with money, then the relationship is doomed to fail anyway,' another chimed in. See also Man says the dating & employment world are the same 'Sewing a handmade plushie for someone's birthday is such a big W. Shows you put in effort and you love her,' a third said. 'She just wants YOU. That's all she wants; she just wants you to love her. So love her. It's really that simple. You're not in a competition; there is no competition. There's just you and her together, making a life out of it. Marriage, or children, eventually. Old age. Till death do us part,' a fourth added. Some also encouraged him to open up to her about his feelings and work on managing his emotions, warning that unresolved issues could eventually put a strain on their relationship. In other news, one frustrated local recently took to Reddit to vent about how everyday expenses in Singapore seem to be quietly inching up 'almost overnight.' In a post on the r/asksg subreddit, he wrote that the 'daily life in Singapore' has started to feel noticeably 'more expensive' in recent months, even though his spending habits have remained the same. Read more: 'Cai png now costs me S$6' — Local says everything in SG is becoming more expensive quietly but quickly
CNA
19 hours ago
- CNA
43 Metres Down to Singapore's Deepest MRT
Built 43m below one of Singapore's busiest areas, Bencoolen Station had to navigate pipes, train lines and dense urban infrastructure. We uncover why it was built so deep and how it runs today.
CNA
21 hours ago
- CNA
Home alone, but loneliness doesn't have to be a constant companion for Singapore's seniors
Lions Befrienders executive director Karen Wee said Singapore has made significant strides in building senior-friendly infrastructure, but noted that there are limits to how much more can be built. She said there needs to be more of a "human element" – not in the form of more case workers, but rather for the community to come forward. "If every three people check in on one senior, and each person spends 10 minutes, that is sufficient. You're looking at about 30 minutes a day for that senior, and that is enough," said Ms Wee. On the ground, social workers from 4S Active Ageing Centre @ Eunos Crescent agreed that strong neighbourly camaraderie should also be encouraged so that seniors can help one another. They added that seniors have diverse needs, so engagement has to be "flexible and person-centred" as some seniors may not be comfortable in a large group, or unable to participate in robust activities. Assoc Prof Chan suggested Singapore could take a leaf out of Japan's Hyogo Prefecture's book on how community-driven efforts can make a tangible difference to seniors' lives. In Hyogo, rural communities such as Sasayama City have implemented a grassroots "Happy Yellow Flag" initiative to check in on seniors living alone. Launched in January 2019, the scheme invites participating households to display a small yellow flag each morning to signal that they are safe, and take it down at night. If a flag isn't seen, neighbours or volunteer welfare officers will follow up. Prompted by a case of kodokushi (a lonely death) in the area, the initiative has strengthened community vigilance and fostered a sense of shared responsibility. Residents say it brings peace of mind, especially for elderly individuals living alone. Dr Ad added that while the expansion of active ageing centres is a positive step, addressing loneliness remains difficult, as building meaningful connections takes time and is highly personal. "Active ageing centres are premised upon being very activity-centric," he said. "The cure to loneliness is not giving people things to do. That is the cure to boredom." He suggested that a way to tackle loneliness is by leveraging "weak ties", such as neighbours, shopkeepers and others in the neighbourhood, as these ties can help a person feel a sense of belonging and connection. We need to normalise ageing as a basic facet of life, rather than medicalise it, said Dr Ad. "The less we treat older people as fragile populations, the more confident seniors would feel about co-existing in the community." WHY SOME SENIORS END UP SOCIALLY ISOLATED Not all seniors who live alone are isolated, but for those who are, the roots often run deeper than their current living arrangements and can have significant consequences. Studies have shown that living alone can cause psychological distress and lead to feelings of loneliness, which then contributes to the risk of mortality and depression – hence the general stereotype of living alone being sad and lonely. But as the seniors and experts pointed out, living alone is not a definite indicator of loneliness. In fact, studies show that older adults living with their families can feel lonely too, said Assoc Prof Ghoh. One factor that contributes to isolation is when frailty sets in, she said. It becomes difficult to perform activities of daily living, and this can limit the ability to live life as fully as before. Assoc Prof Ghoh added that some older adults suffer from chronic illnesses in their younger years and, as they age, the deterioration of these medical conditions can lead to limitations in living well and managing life independently. Another concern for seniors is fall risk, which increases exponentially when the senior becomes frail and has difficulty moving around freely, experts noted. Fall risk increases when the home environment is not safe, for example, slippery floors, no grab bars and wires, carpets and objects on the floor that hinder safe mobility. "Some seniors become homebound as they fear that they may fall if they move too much. This in turn may lead to social isolation and loneliness," said Assoc Prof Ghoh. Assoc Prof Chan said that compared to their American counterparts, Singaporean seniors tend to stay at home after a fall, which can lead to depression, and then to lower muscle mass, with deterioration potentially occurring quite rapidly. As such, she suggested that community health programmes, active ageing centres and community centres conduct more fall screenings and provide more education on this front. Although there has been a proliferation of services for seniors, a gap remains in the area of screening for depression and suicide risk in older adults, said Assoc Prof Ko. Even if the government increases its range of senior services, Asst Prof Ang said more fundamental changes are necessary if Singapore wants to tackle the risks of social isolation in old age. "There is no quick fix, because people do not suddenly become older adults overnight. They are a culmination of decades of life experiences and circumstances," he said. This means that people have to be able to make the best decisions for themselves at every stage of life, so that they are able to reap the benefits and enjoy a good life in their silver years, he added.
