‘I feel stuck' — Singapore woman says ex-husband left her with S$230k debt
Posting on the r/singaporefi forum, she shared that in the early days of their relationship, everything seemed fine. 'Everything was okay,' she wrote. 'I had my own savings. I was happy.'
Both of them were working; she was earning around S$4,000 after CPF, and they were living peacefully with their child at her mother's home.
However, a few months later, she discovered that her ex-husband had lied about having a job. At the time, he tried to reassure her by saying 'he was going to start a business.'
Believing in him and wanting to be supportive, she lent him money and even took out 'unsecured loans' in her name for his business. These loans eventually added up to S$145,000.
And since he always paid her back on time at first, she thought everything was under control.
Unfortunately, that couldn't have been further from the truth. She later learned that her ex-husband had approached her brother to borrow S$43,000, supposedly to 'top up' their BTO payment — something that left her stunned, as they had never even applied for a BTO flat in the first place.
On top of that, he had taken out loans from illegal moneylenders, which she only discovered after receiving threatening messages demanding that she repay S$2,700. He had also borrowed money from other family members and even reached out to their friends for cash.
'The money he borrowed from our friends was his plan to scam them that he would do investments with great returns etc, he used my NRIC to create new phone lines from SingTel and StarHub (delivered to my house, so not much verification needed) then sell off the phone., he used my Grab PayLater account for his transport and it increases from there bit by bit,' she shared.w
The woman clarified that she had been in the dark about all of this, as much of her attention went into her medical treatment.
'He was trying to cover another hole by digging another hole, and for you guys that might think, why didn't you know about all of this, it's impossible you're his wife! I had to quit my job because I was admitted to the hospital because my blood was toxic, so I had to do kidney dialysis, so I've been in and out of the hospital.'
The woman said that her ex-husband, amidst all the turmoil, asked for a divorce 'because he said he wants to file for bankruptcy so no one can claim him.'
As her ex-husband 'ran away like a coward' and left her to bear all of it, she eventually fell into a depression, and had to see a psychiatrist last month.
Unfortunately, the woman shared that even to this day, the people her ex-husband borrowed money from have not stopped chasing her for repayment.
Despite making it clear that she was unaware of many of the loans and is in no position to settle the debts immediately, she said they continue to contact her regularly.
'They still ask me every single day when I can pay them back because the reasoning for the owed amount was that 'he borrowed for us.' [They're] growing impatient even though I've said that I'm in no position to pay everything back immediately,' she wrote. See also Morning Digest, Dec 4
'There's line of creditors always calling me and..my debts are a total of S$230,000. S$100k+ DCP and the rest are just family, friends, GPL, phone lines. I feel stuck, I've been actively searching for a job but I'm left with no answers and my freelance jobs only earn me about S$2.7k (NO CPF),' she continued.
The woman also wrote that she's putting her story out there to serve as a cautionary tale and so that others can 'feel better about their financial situation.'
She ended her post with a firm message to her ex-husband, writing, 'What would you do if you were in my situation and knowing that my ex-husband is always on Reddit, so Joshua, if you are seeing this, don't run away from the mess you created.' 'Karma always finds a way to deal with those who deserve it.'
Since the post went up two days ago, many Reddit users have taken to the comments section to criticise her ex-husband for his actions and apparent lack of accountability.
'Joshua, if you are here reading this. Man the heck up and take responsibility,' one user wrote. 'You are a father and a husband. It's never too late to make things right and take some accountability for your poor decisions. There is a long way to go in life, and it's still not too late to own up!! Don't make your wife and your child the victim here.'
Another user commented, 'Joshua, karma always finds a way to deal with those who deserve it, regardless of religion.'
A third said, 'There's a lot of horror husband stories but this is one of the worst I've ever heard. I am in admiration of the way you are handling all this stress. Definitely go after him for alimony and child support in the divorce. Demand that your 'alimony' be the amount of debt repayment he incurred.'
A fourth added, 'You're way too young to be facing something like this. Sorry to hear this, and sorry your pos husband did this to you. Hope you can work your way out slowly and take this as a lesson, you still have a much, much brighter and long future ahead.'
In other news, a domestic helper from the Philippines has reached out online for advice after a difficult first week on the job in Singapore, saying she has been overworked and sleep-deprived while caring for an elderly man.
In her post, the helper shared that she spends the entire day cleaning the house and attending to the elderly man's needs, with no proper breaks. Her only time to sit, she said, is during meals.
'My only time to sit down at daytime is my mealtime, and at night I don't have enough sleep,' she wrote on the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper Facebook group. 'I get up every 1 or 2 hours to help Grandpa's urinal. I'm overworked here at my employer's house.'
Read more: Maid says she's overworked and sleep-deprived after just one week caring for elderly man in Singapore
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