The Tyranny of ‘Big Balls' Has Come to an End

Gizmodo

3 days ago

Edward Coristine, the 19-year-old given unprecedented access to some of the most private information on Americans, has reportedly quit his role at the so-called Department of Government Efficiency according to Wired. If you don't remember the name Coristine, you probably remember his nickname, the thing he reportedly told people to call him while he plundered the nation's data. He went by Big Balls.
Coristine had been working as a so-called Special Government Employee, which allows workers to skip the more strict financial disclosures required for government employees but prohibits work to just 130 days in a year. That changed last month, according to Wired. Coristine had been hired in May as a full-time employee at the General Services Administration, right around the same time that Musk formally exited DOGE, more or less accusing President Donald Trump of being a pedophile in the process.
Officially, Coristine was an employee of GSA but was working across multiple government agencies, according to Wired. Big Balls was reportedly rooting around in government systems for USAID, the Department of Education, and the Small Business Administration, among others. It's not clear how much data to which Coristine ultimately got access. Nor do we know what he, or anyone else affiliated with DOGE, has done with it.
Coristine made an infamous appearance on Fox News where he tried to strengthen Musk's case that the federal government was riddled with waste, fraud, and abuse. But he wound up accidentally revealing that he simply had no idea how anything works. Coristine and Musk seemed to believe that because they didn't know how various things in the government worked, some kind of nefarious activity had been exposed. But it did nothing of the sort.
'So you look at a specific line item, like $20 million. You're like, OK, well, what is this money going to? And for the majority of payment systems, it's like, well, we don't really know,' Coristine said during his Fox News appearance in early May.
Coristine had no work experience in forensic accounting and the DOGE dipshits were largely feeding massive quantities of data to AI systems in an effort to understand what they were looking at, according to multiple reports. But these guys seemed to truly believe that if they didn't understand something, it must be evidence of wrongdoing.
Coristine had previously been fired from a cybersecurity company for allegedly leaking company secrets and went to work for Musk's company Neuralink before joining the DOGE team.
Coristine's father, Charles Coristine, is the CEO of the snack food company LesserEvil, which was sued in 2023 for representing its snacks as 'healthier' than other junk food. The brand tried to distance itself from Big Balls back in February, writing, the company 'is in no way affiliated with any political figures, political policies or political groups.'